Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lexie
Later that night, I lie in my crib staring up at the blank ceiling above me. I was supposed to be asleep hours ago, but my brain just won’t turn off.
Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost the desire to leave the island. And honestly, I’m not sure I care. There’s really not anything for me back home. But here I have Mommy and a family and a life I never could have dreamed of.
It’s almost perfect.
And yet, it’s not. Because no matter how many times my Mommy tells me I’m the best Little girl in the world, no matter how many times she tells me how perfect I am, I don’t feel perfect. I still feel somehow too much and not enough at the same time, and I don’t know how to fix that.
How to fix me.
Huffing softly, I roll onto my side, the events of today playing over and over in my mind. Even though we didn’t get to spend much time alone today, Mommy did pay me lots of extra attention. Because she was feeling guilty? Or because of something I did?
She liked it when I was nice to Miss Myra. Just like back at the farm, she seemed extra proud of me when I was sweet and kind and said lots of nice things to people. Those were the times she actually told people how lucky she was to be my Mommy.
Today was also the first time I’d ever actually seen Tori get in Big Trouble. And even though Mommy was just as nice to her as ever, it didn’t feel like she preferred Tori over me like it usually does.
So I was right, back at the farm. Being extra good is the only way to prove to my Mommy that I really am the perfect Little girl, at least when it comes to my behavior since I know I’ll never be physically perfect enough for her.
Plans made, I force my eyes closed and try to will myself to sleep. And dream of all the ways I can prove to my Mommy that I’m actually worthy of her love.
Catharina
Standing outside the door of Alexis’s nursery, I frown down at the silent monitor in my hand.
It’s been nearly two weeks since our trip to Solene’s and my Little girl has been… different. Not once since our outing have I had a reason to put her over my knee or even threaten her with a punishment. She has been, in every possible way, the perfect Little girl.
I don’t approve.
Not just because I want a reason to spank her, though that certainly comes into play.
I miss having her squirm and kick over my lap while I turn her naughty bottom bright pink and lecture her to tears.
Even more, I miss the snuggly way she curls up in my arms after a particularly harsh punishment.
While we’ve had plenty of opportunities for cuddles, it just isn’t quite the same.
More than that, though, I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. That Alexis’s behavior has nothing to do with any natural inclination to be well behaved and everything to do with something deeper.
I just have no fucking clue what that something might be.
Shaking off those melancholy thoughts, I shove the monitor in my pocket and push open the nursery door. “Rise and shine, sleepy girl!”
In her crib, Alexis sits up and rubs at her eyes. “Mommy?”
“Yes, baby. Mommy’s right here. Have you used your diaper?”
A pretty blush covers her cheeks. “Uh-huh.”
“Good girl. Let’s get you up and out of that diaper and into your bathing suit.”
Everything about her lights up. “Waterpark day!”
Laughing, I help her out of the crib and up onto her changing table. “That’s right, baby. Waterpark day. Are you excited to go be a mermaid?”
“Yes! But not the water slides. Those sound scary.”
Fucking hell, she’s precious. Leaning down, I rub my nose against hers, and her giggles fill the air. “Everything at the park is the safest it can possibly be. But if you don’t want to do the slides, you don’t have to.”
Her expression sobers as her eyes seem to search my face for something. “Do you want me to go on the slides, Mommy?”
Again, I’m hit with the certainty that there’s a bigger question beneath what she’s actually asking me, but I’ll be damned if I can figure out what it is. “I want you to have fun, baby. Whatever that looks like for you.”
“Okay.”
She remains oddly quiet as I switch out her wet diaper for a clean one made especially for swimming. When she’s nice and fresh, I take her to the closet. “Mommy has a surprise for you. I ordered this bathing suit just for my babygirl.”
Nudging her down onto the bench in the middle of the closet, I pull open her top drawer and pull out the black-and-white polka-dot bikini, holding it up for her to see.
For a moment, Alexis simply stares at the scraps of material in my hand. “You want me to wear that?”
“Dubious” doesn’t even begin to describe the expression on my Little girl’s face.
I had a feeling when I ordered the suit that I would run into some resistance, but the moment I spotted the black halter-style top and the ruffled bottoms, I knew I had to have it for my babygirl.
It has the retro style she loves, while giving me the benefit of being able to see all of my babygirl’s curves on full display.
“Yes,” I reply simply, setting the top aside and holding out the bottoms for her to step into.
But again she just stares, and excitement beats at my chest as I wonder if she’s finally going to push back about something.
One way or another, she’s going to wear the suit, but I won’t be upset if I have to spank her into compliance first.
“But it’s so… tiny.”
It certainly is, which is the appeal as far as I’m concerned. Not only do I get to watch her strut around in next to nothing all day, but I’m hoping the exposure therapy, such as it is, might help with some of her self-esteem issues.
She looks so torn, as if she wants to argue but doesn’t at the same time, and sympathy stirs in my chest. “You’re going to look adorable, Alexis. Do you trust Mommy?”
Those seem to be the magic words. The tension seems to drain from her shoulders as she nods. “I trust you, Mommy.”
“That’s my good girl. Come on, let’s get you into this suit so we can go have the best day ever!”
Alexis hesitates just long enough to drag in a deep breath before stepping into the bathing suit bottoms. Once they’re pulled up over her thick diaper, I grab the matching top and tie it around her ample breasts.
The effect is breathtakingly adorable. Most of her round tummy is left bare by the suit, and the ruffles covering her bottom are quite possibly the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
A matching black-and-white polka-dot hairbow tops off the ensemble and I stand back to admire my work, beaming at my Little girl. “Don’t you just look darling.”
Turning toward the mirror, she shifts this way and that, pausing to take in her ruffle-covered diaper with a giggle. “I guess I do look kinda cute.”
“Adorable. And you wanna know a secret?”
“What?”
I pull a one-piece suit from the shelf where I hid it the night before in preparation for this moment. “Mommy has a matching suit. We get to be twins!”
Mine is a much more grown-up version of her suit, of course, but my babygirl’s eyes light up all the same as she jumps up and down, squealing with delight. “Put it on, put it on, I wanna see!”
Laughing at her exuberance, I shuck off my dress and step into the retro-style suit, pulling it up and tying it around my neck before striking a pose. “Ta-da!”
“Oh.” The response comes out on a rush of breath as her eyes go wide. “God, you’re so beautiful. Like a goddess or something. I don’t even know what you see in me.”
My chest aches, hearing her words, and not for the first time I wish I could rip apart every single person who’s ever made her doubt how beautiful she is.
“I see everything in you, little one. I see a strong, smart woman who challenges me every step of the way. I see a sweet Little girl who lights up at the smallest things. I see the most gorgeous fucking creature on Earth. And she’s all mine. ”
Sliding my hand into her curls, I make a fist, pulling her head back as I press my lips to hers. Hungry, demanding, I take everything she gives as she surrenders to me with a whimper, her mouth opening for me.
“You are my perfect Little girl, Alexis,” I murmur against her lips. “The next time I hear you doubting that, doubting me, we’re going to have a reckoning. Understood?”
“Y-yes, Mommy,” she whispers, her eyes glassy with unmet need.
So delicious. “Is your pussy wet for me, baby? Do you want Mommy to make you feel good before we go?”
“God, yes. Please, Mommy.”
It’s tempting. So damn tempting to just slip my hand into her diaper and finger-fuck her until she comes screaming.
But I have far better things planned for my sweet babygirl today.
“Hmm. No, I don’t think I will.” Yanking her to me again, I press another hard, hot kiss to her mouth.
“Let that needy little cunt be a reminder that Mommy does not like hearing her Little girl doubt herself. If you can be a good girl for Mommy the rest of the day, I will fuck you properly the second we return home.”
“Yes, Mommy.” Now the words are sulky, her bottom lip moving into a pout and I can’t help but chuckle. If she thinks pouting is going to win me over, she obviously hasn’t realized yet how adorable I think she is when she sulks.
“All right, little one. We should get going. Your friends will never forgive us if we make them wait one minute longer than necessary to get into the waterpark.”