Chapter 31 Thirty-Six Hours
Thirty-Six Hours
The way he says it stops me cold.
What?
I’m not sure if I asked it out loud or not, but he goes on.
"The atmosphere in my world is toxic to you, to humans. You would last for maybe a day, two at most, but eventually you would die."
With that, the hope I've been clinging onto since I was four years old disintegrates into dust. Some part of me always imagined that one day he would take me with him. When I was old enough, when the time was right, when I found a way.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" The question comes out a ragged whisper.
If he had told me sooner, I wouldn’t have harbored this intense hope.
I wouldn’t have watered it like a precious seedling in my darkest hours, one day thinking he would take me with him.
But then again, would I have survived certain parts of my life without that delicate onyx flower I grew inside my chest?
"The less you know, the better." With that, he puts space between us as if he needs to recollect himself. "You aren’t meant to know about my world. You aren’t meant to know I exist. And now you have these desires because you know too much. But I can’t give you what you want, Evie."
I have to bite off what I want to say about his ability to fulfill my desires.
"You're right, it’s too late. I know too much and the more you hide from me, the more it hurts," I accuse.
"I don’t want to hurt you," he bellows.
"Then tell me!" I shout back. I don’t know what I’m asking for. I just want… more.
"The atmosphere here is toxic to my kind as well." For once, he keeps talking. He gives me more. "I cannot be in your realm for too long or I will die."
That stuns me.
"Coming here… hurts you?"
He doesn’t answer.
Oh, oh God.
"Is it killing you?" My voice breaks.
"Evie," he sighs. "I will live a long life, much longer than yours. The years this may slice off my existence are inconsequential. But your life, your life is short and precious and I will not take you to my world. I will not endanger you, no matter how you beg."
"Oh my God." I turn away from him, covering my face with my hands though it doesn’t hide the truth.
Yet another person I’m hurting. Yet another thing I am ruining. I am a never-ending curse.
Shadow whips me around forcefully, causing my teeth to clack hard against each other. "Evie, stop it. Stop what you’re thinking."
"I can’t," I grind out through clenched teeth. "I’m literally killing you."
Thunder rolls overhead, shaking the walls. Then it builds until it’s booming through the room. I’m shocked to find, for the first time ever, I am hearing Shadow laugh.
His grip on my wrists is unyielding, yet there's a tremble in his touch that betrays his turmoil.
"You think I enjoy this? That I relish in your pain?
That you deserve any fault in this?" he growls, and there's a heat in his voice that wasn't there before.
His eyes, usually an abyss, now burn with a fire that seems to reach out and singe the very air between us.
His grip is unyielding, not painful but resolute, as if he’s anchoring me to the spot, to this moment. I can see the turmoil rolling like thunderclouds in the depths of his dark gaze, a storm of emotions he’s fighting to control.
"You don’t get it, Shadow. I’m suffocating here. I’m drowning in this skin, in this soft flesh, in this pathetic life. I’d rather risk death in your world than be suffocated by this one. I’d rather die in your world than have you hurt in mine."
He leans in closer, and the intensity in his eyes pins me more effectively than his hands ever could.
"You think death will release you?" His voice is a low growl, each word a vibration against my skin. "It’s a cop out. The coward’s way. You are no spineless worm. You are a monster, remember? That’s what you told me. "
I laugh, a sharp, biting sound. "I’m nothing. I’m hunted by true monsters. Because of her." The Nexus. How I fucking hate her, envy her. A renewed sense of purpose swells in me. "Take me to her."
I need someone else connected to this mess. Maybe I won’t hate her if she is just as entrenched by this fucked up situation. Or maybe I’ll hate her more if she’s unaffected by it, protected by Shadow and her own inner strength.
His eyes flicker with an emotion I can't place, something ancient and wild. "I can’t," he says, and it's a plea wrapped in a statement. "To even speak of the key invites danger, drawing attention that could threaten everything."
"You're with her, the Nexus, when you’re not with me. You’d leave me to rot for her." I spit the words out, each syllable laced with venom and hurt. The thought of him with someone else, being someone else's savior, protector, it gnaws at me with vicious teeth.
Shadow's face inches from mine, our breaths mingling, sharing the same stormy air. "Evie, I assure you, my duty to the Nexus is not what you think." There's desperation in his tone, an urgency that sounds like a wild thing caged behind his ribs.
"Do you care for her?" I hiss, the jealousy bubbling up like acid. "The Nexus, your precious charge. Do you care for her like you care for me?" My heart is a drumbeat of desperation, pounding out the rhythm of my deepest fears.
Shadow looks at me then, really looks at me, and it’s like he’s seeing right through to the core of me.
His response is immediate, intense. "Yes," he says, and it cuts deeper than any knife.
A sob catches in my throat, and I'm a tangle of hurt and anger and an aching need that I can't seem to quench. "Then go," I hiss, the words a lash. "Go back to her."
"I cannot leave you," he says, and there's a truth in his voice that I want to ignore. "You drive me to madness, Evie, in ways I cannot explain. You pull me back even as you push me away."
The tension between us is a live wire, sparking with anger, need, and an undeniable connection that neither of us can sever. It’s a dance we've done before, one that always ends with our bodies entwined, with whispered names and broken moans. That or bloodshed.
"I hate you."
Whatever crackles in the air reaches a charge too high, and we smash into each other.
I’m kissing him fiercely, grabbing onto his monstrous form, running my hands over muscles no human develops.
His claws tangle in my hair, jerking my face back as he pushes his tongue into my mouth, filling me, teasing me in ways I want to be tortured elsewhere.
Emboldened, desperate and more than a little broken, I reach down into the darkness where his legs meet.
My fingers touch something hard and bulbous.
I vaguely associate it with what I once stroked my tongue along, with the punishing organ that nearly split me in the park.
My hand can’t even close all the way around it.
A growl emanates through my tongue and teeth, pushing the vibrations into my chest.
I’m playing with fire, but this is how I want to go. Burned to death by my Shadow.
"Evie." My name rolls out on a tortured moan.
"I want you inside me. I want to make you mine. I want you to think of no one else but me," I demand.
I don’t remember lying down, but I feel my back hit a surface.
My stomach drops the wrong way, and my hair falls forward.
When I open my eyes, I find myself looking down on my bed.
Shadow has me pinned against the ceiling.
My bed is below us, and my room somehow looks smaller from up here.
I suddenly feel detached from my life, as if it’s a movie I watch from up here.
It’s a drama, a tragedy, meant to make the viewers feel something worse than their own shitty life. So when they go back to their day to day, they feel a sense of buoyancy after spending a little while in mine.
Maybe my existence isn’t so pointless.
The maudlin, muddled thoughts in my head disappear when Shadow’s tongue laves its way up my throat, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
And I forget myself all together when his hardness bucks up between my thighs.
I gasp and claw at his shoulders. He bucks up again and the friction of his hardness where I need it most is mind melting.
"I want you. I need you," I whisper, before I lower my head and sink my teeth into the skin of his corded neck.
Something vibrates in his chest, and it resonates through my breasts where we’re pressed against each other.
"I want to stop," he mutters, even as his shadowy tendrils tighten around me. In moments, he strips me of my clothes. I watch them drop down onto the bed.
I crane my neck forward as Shadow crouches between my legs, massive clawed hands wrapped around my thighs. The vantage point is so strange from where I’m pinned to the ceiling.
His gaze never veers from mine, as his forked purple tongue slithers out of his mouth until it runs along my sensitive, already wet slit. I gasp, tingles of ecstasy rushing through my blood, even as every part of me demands more.
Shadow's blood-red eyes bore into mine, a swirl of desire and warning. His tongue continues its tantalizing dance, exploring every inch of my slick folds with calculated precision. I arch my back, pushing, begging for more, begging for him to fill me completely.
The sound of my desperate moans fills the room as he finally thrusts his tongue deep into me. My vision blurs as my breath is cut off by the sensation of being filled.
"This is my little cunt," he hisses into me.
"Yes," I say, practically out of my mind as his forked tongue continues to delve deeper, massaging every sensitive spot within me. I can feel the intensity building, the waves of pleasure thrashing in my body like a tidal wave.
"I gave you a chance. I was going to let you go, let you leave me for that human. You’re mine now, Evie," he claims.
"I’m yours," I echo.
"And I’ll do with you whatever I fucking want," he snarls.
Oh God, yes.