Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Emily stood in Annie’s kitchen. Annie had taken the boys to visit Sadie. She’d invited Emily to accompany her, but Emily had refused. She had thinking to do, and with everyone else out of the house, she had the perfect opportunity.
She needed a better plan than sitting around waiting.
If she contacted her family, they might forward her enough funds to return to Nebraska, but she hesitated to do so.
What if they had disowned her? The letter to Matron Hilda crackled in her pocket.
She hadn’t mailed it yet, though she couldn’t say why she was so reluctant to send it on its way.
Perhaps she’d learn things about herself she didn’t care to know.
She turned from the window and walked the length and breadth of the house, trying to decide what she would do.
Gram had told her several times she needed help with her sewing.
She said she might even consider retiring if someone would take over her clients.
Emily could start up a seamstress business.
The idea caught in her thoughts. Had she been a seamstress?
Had her business failed? Why else would she be working in the orphanage, apart from the fact she loved children?
She made another circuit of the house. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if she could stay in Bella Creek? She could rent the empty house from Grandfather Marshall and support herself with sewing and perhaps laundry.
The possibility made her insides tingle.
If she could support herself and a child, would she be allowed to keep Mikey?
A single woman might be allowed to adopt a child, but a fallen woman? Her excitement died as quickly as it flared.
Round and round went her feet. Round and round went her thoughts.
A loud noise shook the house. She rushed to a window. Thunder. Lightning. And then slashing rain closed the house in darkness.
Just like—
It all came rushing back.
A door somewhere opened. Jesse entered. She stared at him as if seeing him for the first time.
“Annie said I could find you here.”
She nodded. “I remember.” She swallowed hard. She had hoped for something other than what it was.
He must have read the distress in her face and understood that the way she drew her lips in indicated something unpleasant.
He crossed the room and stood very close.
“Whatever you remember, it doesn’t matter.
You can start over fresh here. I’m sorry for judging you.
I want you to stay and give me a chance to prove I care about you. ”
She held out a hand to keep him at a distance. He’d change his mind once he heard the truth. Jesse was a man who believed in black and white and no compromise.
He caught her hand. “Tell me everything.”
“My name is Emily Eileen Smith. I am twenty-two years old. I am from Lincoln, Nebraska. My parents still live there. I was a seamstress. When I was eighteen, I made a wedding dress for my best friend. I needed to hem the dress and decided to take it out to Sharon’s place for a final fitting.
“She wasn’t there when I arrived. She’d gone to visit a neighbor.
Only her brother Rolly was home. I never much cared for him.
He often drank too much and carried on. Sort of wild, I guess.
He said she’d be back any minute, so I decided to wait.
He went out to do whatever he was doing, and I made myself a cup of tea.
“It was late October, and the weather had been mild, but a storm came up as I drank my tea and read a book from their bookshelf.
I should have been more careful. Should have watched the sky.
Should have left as soon as I realized he was the only one home.
But it was too late. The snow came in so fast and so heavy I could never have made it to town. I was stranded there the night.
“Rolly came in and laughed. He said, ‘Just you and me now, Emily. What do you suggest we do?’
“I suggested he stay as far away from me as possible and spent the entire night sitting at the table with a poker at my side.
“Several times, he looked at me and gave a mocking laugh. Finally, he went to the front room and fell asleep in the easy chair.
“By morning, the storm had ended, the roads were passable, and I returned to town, praying that would be the end of it.” She had to take a breath to ease her lungs. They seemed to be made of wood. If only she had done things differently—but hindsight was of little value except to fuel regrets.
“I take it the story doesn’t end there.”
Jesse’s voice startled her, and she resumed her tale.
“I should have known Rolly wouldn’t let it go.
He soon let it be known that I had spent the night with neither Sharon nor their parents present.
I couldn’t deny it, as several people saw me return at first light and had jumped to their own conclusions.
He said we hadn’t slept, but his tone conveyed that we’d done other things. ”
She shuddered. “I hoped people would believe the best about me, but they were all too ready to believe the worst. Oh, not everyone. Sharon understood. But my business fell away until I had no orders. Someone draped red ribbons across my door to inform others of their opinion of me. I appealed to my parents. They arranged for me to go to Aunt Martha. Because no one in Alliance knew me, I was able to find work at the orphanage. I loved it. I loved the children.”
She faced him squarely, boldly. “Mikey isn’t my child, but he arrived shortly after I did, and I found solace in taking care of him.
It about broke my heart when Matron Hilda said he was being adopted.
” She drew in air that did nothing to ease the emptiness sucking at her lungs. That was it. Her whole sordid story.
“What about Mr. Ellesworth?”
“Oh, yes, him. He asked me several times to marry him, and I refused. I didn’t care for him. I don’t know how many times he introduced me as his fiancée. But I denied it just as many times.”
“He won’t be bothering you anymore. Turns out he is a land speculator. He’s already riding away from town.”
It was good to know, but it only reinforced her view of Jesse.
He would never accept anyone who had been compromised.
She was spent. All she wanted to do was cry, but she would not allow herself to do so.
She would face her future with strength and, Lord willing, a little boy she hoped to adopt. One more thing had to be made clear.
“So you see, the story he related is true. I am a ruined woman. Not fit for decent company. Annie has been kind enough to allow me to stay here, but I can’t continue to take advantage of her kindness.
Once people hear about me, there will be judgment.
Now, I don’t want to make the same mistake twice by being alone with a man, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave. ”
“Emily—”
“Please.”
He didn’t move, but she refused to look at him. It would hurt too much to see disgust on his face. She had done nothing wrong. Yes, she’d been foolish, but she hadn’t done anything wrong—yet she wore the same label his mother had worn. He would never see her in any other way.
Finally, without a word, he left the house, and she collapsed. But she would not cry. She lifted her head. She would not let her past mistakes control her life forever. She patted the letter in her pocket. No need to mail it now.
Annie and the boys clattered into the house, and Emily pushed aside her concerns.
“I see Jesse is back.” Annie hung her bonnet on a peg as she talked. “He barely acknowledged me. I wonder what made him so angry.”
“I might be responsible.”
Annie turned to consider her. “Why would you say that?”
“My memory has returned.”
“Wonderful.” Annie crossed the floor and hugged Emily.
Emily did not return the embrace. “I wish I could think it was.”
Annie stepped back. “Tell me all about it.”
“Mr. Ellesworth’s story was mostly correct.” She quickly related the details of her past. “Jesse cannot associate with someone like me.”
Annie squinted at her. “Did he say that?”
Emily shrugged. “He didn’t need to. He’s a man who makes no compromises.”
“There is no need for him to do so. You were in an unfortunate situation, but you did nothing wrong.”
Emily’s tension eased at Annie’s kind words. “Not everyone will agree with you.”
“I don’t care if they don’t.”
Emily chuckled, but her amusement ended abruptly. “I can’t stay here any longer.”
“But where will you go?”
“I don’t know.” She went to the window.
“Do you want to go home?”
The question made her realize what she wanted. “I’d like to return to Alliance and seek permission to adopt Mikey.” But how did she do it without any funds?
“Go see Grandfather. He’ll gladly help you.”
She faced Annie. “I couldn’t do that.” To reveal her disgrace to yet another person was more than she could contemplate.
“You don’t have to tell him the details if you don’t want to. I promise your story will never be repeated by my lips. But even if you did tell him, he would not judge you. And he’d love to help you adopt Mikey. It’s just the sort of thing he enjoys doing. He’s a matchmaker, you know.”
Emily had heard many stories about his matchmaking.
“Helping a child and a woman who loves him become a family would be a joy for him. You’d actually be doing him a favor.”
Emily began to nod. Grandfather Marshall might be the one person who could help her. “You’re right. Thank you for suggesting it.” The short-lived storm had passed over, and the sun shone. “I’ll go out there this afternoon and speak to him. Can I leave Mikey here?”
“By all means. I will pray things work out for you. I hope you consider staying in the community. I’ve grown quite fond of you.” She hugged Emily again, and this time, Emily hugged her back.