Chapter Seventeen
“A re you ready to go?” Connor knew they’d better leave soon, or they wouldn’t leave at all. And then he realized there was a man sitting on Sierra’s couch, frowning at them.
“Sorry. I didn’t know you had company.” He had a bad feeling that he knew who it was before Sierra spoke.
“He’s not company. He just showed up on my doorstep. Connor, meet my ex-husband, Phil. Phil, this is Connor.”
He and the man exchanged nods but neither offered a hand. He’d been right. Her ex-husband, here in Marietta.
After glaring at her ex, Sierra said, “Phil was just leaving.”
“I can take a hint,” Phil said, getting up.
“Could have fooled me,” Sierra muttered.
“I’ll be around for a while.”
“Why?” she asked. “And how long is a while?”
He didn’t answer the question. Only said, “I hope we can get together again. I’ll call you.”
“Don’t bother.” She followed him to the door.
“Oh, it’s no trouble.” With a nod for Connor, he left.
Sierra shut the door with a bang.
“So that’s your ex.” A dumb thing to say but he said it anyway.
“That’s him.” She stared at the door.
“Why is he here?”
She raised her chin and met his gaze. “I’m not sure. He and the homewrecker broke up. He said she was a mistake, and that he made a mistake when he divorced me. I think he might want me back. Otherwise I can’t imagine why he’d show up here.”
“Well, shit.” His worst nightmare. Especially since she’d told him when they met that she was still in love with the guy. But that was months ago. She couldn’t still be in love with him. Could she?
Oh, hell, yes she could. She hadn’t acted as if she was but maybe she’d just been pissed. Not to mention, she might not love her ex but she hadn’t said she loved Connor either.
“Come on, we can talk about it at dinner.”
His laugh held no humor. “I don’t think so. This isn’t a discussion to have in a public place.”
“Fine, then we won’t talk about it. We’ll be late if we don’t leave now.”
“I don’t care.” They had reservations at Rocco’s Italian restaurant, which he’d been looking forward to. But he had too many questions. Questions like, ‘Are you going to see him again?’ And ‘Were you happy to see him?’ Yet she’d sounded firm when she sent him away. “We can table this for now, but we still need to talk about it.”
Sierra studied him for a long moment. Then she walked to him, put her arms around his neck, and kissed the hell out of him. “I’d rather go to dinner than talk about my very-much-ex husband.”
He started to ask her if she still loved the guy, but he knew she’d deny it. Even if she did. Maybe especially if she did. Instead he said, “Let’s go.” And told himself there was no reason to worry about Sierra and her ex. But of course, he did.
Dinner was not a success. They didn’t discuss the elephant in the room, but it was there, sitting its big fat ass between them and laughing said ass off at him. The admittedly romantic atmosphere of Rocco’s was lost on them.
Sierra ordered the chicken Parmesan and he ordered his favorite. Lasagna. Rocco’s special salad, sautéed vegetables and delicious crusty Italian bread completed the meal.
He knew he should trust Sierra. He did trust her not to screw him over. But he wasn’t sure she’d totally come to terms with her feelings for her ex. Wasn’t at all sure that she even knew what she felt about Phil. As for Connor, she didn’t love him, or at least, wasn’t sure enough to tell him if she did.
“You’re still stewing about Phil, aren’t you?”
He looked up from the food he normally enjoyed but tonight tasted like ashes. “Yes.” He saw no reason to deny the obvious.
“There’s no need to. I’m not going back to him if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Do you still love him?” Yeah, he’d asked her, even though he knew he might regret it.
“He broke my heart.”
“That wasn’t what I asked.”
“No, I don’t love him. Not after what he did.”
“Does he know that?”
“We hardly talked before you got there. He obviously knows I’m with you. After that kiss he could hardly help knowing it.”
That wasn’t exactly the answer he wanted but it was apparently all he was going to get.
*
The next morning Connor was off. He hadn’t managed to put Sierra’s damn ex-husband out of his mind so he sat on his couch drinking a beer, hoping that would help. So far it hadn’t. Unfortunately, he had plenty of time to stew about it since he wasn’t working that day. Sierra was filling in for another flight nurse so she was out of touch.
She had said she didn’t want her ex-husband back, but Connor still wasn’t sure of that. The worst of it was, Connor couldn’t forget what Sierra had told him the first time he met her. That she still cared about her ex and might even take him back. And if Phil wanted Sierra back, Connor couldn’t blame him. He couldn’t believe the fool had left her in the first place. Yeah, he’d screwed up by having an affair and divorcing Sierra, but women had forgiven men for a lot worse. And she had definitely loved the man.
Of course, that was before he and Sierra had gotten involved. Well, he was involved, but he wasn’t sure about Sierra. Damn it, he’d fallen crazy in love with her and while he knew she liked him, knew she cared about him, he still had no idea if she loved him. Someone pounded on his door. He ignored it just like he’d ignored the calls that had been blowing up his phone. He didn’t want to talk to anyone but Sierra, and she was working. Besides, he wasn’t at all sure he wanted to talk to her.
“Damn it, Connor, I know you’re in there. Let me in!” Logan yelled through the door.
Crap, he’d forgotten about Logan. Marietta had recently gotten a racquetball court and Logan had been hot to try it out, so Connor had agreed to play with him since they were both off today. “Go away,” he yelled.
“No. Answer the door. You were supposed to meet me half an hour ago to play racquetball.”
Connor sighed and got up, knowing Logan wouldn’t leave until he got a response. Cracking open the door, he repeated, “Go away.”
Naturally, Logan ignored him, pushing open the door and coming inside. “What is going on?” He glanced at the beer in Connor’s hand. “Beer? At eleven o’clock in the morning when you’re supposed to be playing racquetball?”
He shrugged. “I felt like having a beer. Sue me. Leave me alone.”
“What’s wrong, Connor?”
He sat on the couch. “Help yourself to a beer. And bring me another one while you’re at it.”
Logan sat beside him. “I don’t need a beer and neither do you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I need several beers.” Not that he really expected drinking to help.
“Why? You never do shit like this.”
He drained his beer, crumpled the can, and tossed it in the general direction of his kitchen. “I can’t believe this is happening again. I knew better but I did it anyway.”
“What’s happening again?”
“Me being the rebound. Or maybe substitute’s a better word for it.”
“Substitute for what?”
“The guy she’s still in love with.”
“Are you talking about Sierra?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
“Remember I told you about Casey? The woman I was involved with in Afghanistan?”
“Yeah. You said she died.”
“She did.”
“Okay, that’s bad. But what does it have to do with you and Sierra?”
“Sierra’s divorced. That’s one reason she moved here. She wanted to get away from her ex and his new woman. The night we met she told me she still loved him and would probably have taken him back even though he’d cheated on her.”
“That was months ago, though.”
“Yeah. I thought she was over him. I thought—Never mind.” How stupid could he be? He’d thought—no hoped—that she might be falling for him. Apparently not.
“How do you know she isn’t over him?”
“Guess who’s in town and wants her back?”
“Oh, shit.”
“And then some.”
*
“The strangest thing happened today,” Sam told Sierra when she ran into her at the hospital. “You’ll never guess who I ran into.”
“Yes, I will. He’s already been to see me.”
“Phil already came to see you? Did you know he was coming here?”
“No. But I doubt he’ll be here long. He’s bound to need to go back to Dallas soon.” Please, God, let him go away.
Sam had a funny look on her face.
“What?”
“He told me he’s thinking about moving here so he’s checking out the hospitals in the area.”
“What?” she nearly shrieked. “You’re kidding.”
“Obviously he didn’t tell you. He’s taken a couple of weeks off to see if he likes Montana enough to move here. But that’s not the only reason he’s here.” She raised her eyebrows. “Is it?”
Damn it. What other reason would he have to be checking out area hospitals if he wasn’t interested in getting back together with her? As far as she knew, he was firmly ensconced in Dallas. “Give me a break. He didn’t—”
Sam nodded. “He did. He let it be known that he wants you back. I’d be surprised if it’s not all over the hospital by afternoon.”
“This is ridiculous. He and Tamera broke up so now he thinks all he has to do is wave and I’ll come trotting back.”
“I’m not sure that’s what he thinks. After all, he’s talking about moving to you.” She was quiet a moment, then added, “Does Connor know he’s in town?”
She snorted. “Oh yes. They met when Phil dropped by my apartment day before yesterday. Connor wasn’t too pleased.”
“I don’t imagine he would be. Does Connor know you still have feelings for Phil?”
“I don’t still have feelings for him. We’re divorced. He left me for another woman. I’m over him.” And if a part of her wasn’t completely sure about that she still wouldn’t take him back. No, at first she’d believed she’d go back to him if he wanted but that was before she’d been living in Montana for months. And before Connor.
But Connor said he loved you. And you can’t make up your mind about falling in love again.
“Rumor has it that Connor has finally taken the fall. You’re the only woman he’s ever been known to date for more than a few times.”
Sam was her best friend. Maybe she should talk to her about Connor and her dilemma. “Let’s go get a cup of coffee.”
“Can we go to the coffee shop across the street? Do you have time?”
“Yes, that sounds good.” Hospital coffee was, well, hospital coffee.
“So,” Sam said once they were seated with their coffee. “Do tell.”
Sierra blurted it out. “Connor told me he loved me.”
“Whoa. Do you love him?”
“I don’t know.” She rubbed a hand over her forehead. “I care about him but I’m not sure I want to fall in love again. That’s not what either of us wanted when we got together. At least, I thought we were on the same page. Fun but nothing serious.”
“And now he’s ready for more and you’re not.”
She nodded. “And now Phil’s in town and, according to you, he wants me back.”
“He might not have said it straight out but that was the general impression he gave me. And anyone else who talked to him. Do you want him back?”
“No. At first I would have taken him back but now…no. He cheated on me and then dumped me for a younger model. Now that she doesn’t want him, he thinks I’ll fall into his arms. Like I’m the consolation prize.” She shook her head. “Not happening.” Not to mention, there was Connor to think about. Connor, who thought he loved her. But did he really?
Sam rubbed her hands together. “Should be interesting. Not only does your ex want you back but Connor McFarland, in love and wanting to settle down.”
“He didn’t say he wanted to settle down.”
“Not yet. But I’m betting he will.”
And if he did, what was she going to do? What would Connor do once he heard what Phil had admitted? She didn’t love Phil anymore. But she wasn’t sure Connor would believe that. Especially since she hadn’t told him she loved him and wasn’t sure she even wanted to fall in love again.
What in the world was going on with Connor, though? He’d told her he loved her once, then never mentioned it again. Was that because he wasn’t sure or because she hadn’t said she loved him?
Phil wanted her back. According to Sam, he’d told others. Add in the fact that he was considering moving to Marietta and it spoke volumes. If she didn’t mean to take him back then she should tell him he was wasting his time. But she wasn’t quite ready to do that. They’d been married for nearly ten years and most of them had been happy. It wasn’t until the last couple of years that things had deteriorated. Or gone to hell would be a better description.
Then there was Connor. She might not be ready to commit to him more than she already had but she didn’t want to lose him. He already suspected that she still had feelings for Phil. But they weren’t exactly good feelings. When he cheated on her he’d not only broken her heart, he’d also broken her trust.