Chapter 22
Chapter 22
Greer
I wasn’t lonely per se. I couldn’t be lonely when I was surrounded by so many people. My boss, my co-owners, and Raven’s new family had practically adopted me. I hadn’t expected that. But I was happy.
I loved my job. I loved coffee. I was addicted to coffee. But thankfully my job kept me surrounded by those beans, so it was perfect.
I had my best friend, who included me in everything even as she connected with her past and found her future. I wasn’t being left behind, and I was grateful. Because I was happy.
So I couldn’t be lonely.
Okay, maybe I was lonely in the sense that I couldn’t remember the last time I had sex, but that was beside the point. I had a vibrator. I had my hand. I knew how to get myself off better than anyone.
And all I could do was think about a certain face. No, that was a lie. There were two faces.
Two faces that haunted my wet dreams.
I knew there were poly relationships out there, in fact there were even a few in the Montgomerys. So I knew that they could be healthy, that they weren’t doomed to jealousy and pain.
But that wasn’t for me. It couldn’t be for me. I wasn’t that lucky.
I shook my head as I made another latte and worked on foam art, though I couldn’t help but look at the front door that they could walk through at any moment as they were wont to do.
No, they weren’t for me.
I sighed. “Not for me,” I mumbled.
“What is that?” Raven asked.
I shook my head. “Just mumbling to myself. I think I need more coffee.”
“I really don’t think you need more coffee,” Raven teased.
I rolled my eyes, but she might be right. I might have a little too much coffee in me. But it was fine. It was the only thing I had in my life that I could count on.
No, that was a complete lie. Because I had Raven. But she had her whole new life. Her new family. And I didn’t want to stand in the way. I was really good at standing in the way.
It was what I had been taught most of my life—that I was always in the way.
I looked up as they walked past. It was them. It was always them . I needed to stop. It wasn’t smart to think about them. It wasn’t smart to watch them.
And yet I couldn’t help it.
Only they weren’t for me. Hell, I didn’t even know if they were for each other.
Because when they looked at each other, I saw that intense heat, though I didn’t think they did. I saw the friendship that was always there. Or maybe I was just seeing things because I was attracted to both of them.
But Noah and Ford walked past our window and didn’t stop in. I held back my disappointment. I didn’t need to see them every day. I didn’t need to speak with them. I didn’t need to guess their orders.
I had a bit of a crush. That was it. I was tempted. But I wasn’t going to succumb. I couldn’t. Not when they had each other.
I was not going to have Noah or Ford. It would just be a mess. A complete mess. So I would be their friend.
That friend.
I made another cup of coffee, I smiled at Raven, and I ignored the tempting men on the other side of the building. The ones that haunted my dreams and made me want too much. I didn’t need them. No, I needed somebody else. So I would find a date, one that had nothing to do with the Montgomerys, or their best friends.