Chapter 23
Noah
I slowly licked my way up his back, biting down on the strong cord of muscle where his neck and his shoulder met, my hands digging into his hips.
“More,” he whispered.
I groaned, biting harder, before I licked the hurt, just a little mark that would remind him I had been there. I kissed down his shoulders, down his back, before squeezing his ass, and pressing myself against him.
“If you don’t fuck me soon, I’m going to turn you over and take my turn.”
I grinned, my head a little dizzy, the drinks having been a little too strong.
But it was the only way I could get this brave, then I’d be able to blame it on the alcohol later.
I turned to the man in my arms, crushing my mouth to his. He tasted of booze and mint and promise.
Of broken promises, of mistakes.
He reached between us, gripping my dick, and I groaned, pumping into his fist.
“Fine, I’ll just take matters into my own hands.”
He went to his knees, and before I could do anything, he had his mouth around my dick, and I was thrusting into him.
I gripped his hair, forcing my cock into his mouth, down his throat. He gagged, but kept going. He squeezed my hips, then my ass, spreading me as he continued to bob his head, taking me hard, not backing down.
I pulled away as my balls drew tight, because I didn’t want to come right now.
No, I wanted to be inside him.
I pulled him to his feet, pressing our dicks together. When he gripped us both, the friction nearly sending me over the edge, I shuddered.
I pushed him down on the bed and grabbed the lube.
“Fine,” I growled.
I was going to remember this, and that meant I wasn’t drunk enough.
He seemed to understand what I was thinking, and a wave of hurt crashed over his face before he pushed it away and spread himself for me. I readied him, then myself, then I faced him, before I slowly slid balls deep inside him. He was tight, damn tight, but it didn’t matter, I just needed him, needed to fuck him. Needed to forget.
He pushed back on me, legs around my waist as we moved, fucking each other with abandon, as if nothing mattered, as if everything mattered.
I pulled out and he went to all fours. I slammed back in, riding him into oblivion. I slid my hand around, gripping his cock. I pumped him as I fucked him from behind. He groaned my name, and then he was warm over my hand as he came, and I filled him, both of us shaking.
This wasn’t our first time, but it had to be our last.
It always had to be our last.
“Well. That happened,” Ford whispered, as I slowly pulled out of him, reaching for the towel to clean us up.
I didn’t look at him, I couldn’t. All I could do was hang my head in shame and hate myself once again.
Because I was using him. We used each other.
And I hated myself.
“Shit,” Ford whispered, as he sat next to me, hands on his knees.
“Shit.”
“So, I guess we’re just going to continue to fuck each other and not talk about it?” my best friend asked.
“It can’t happen again.” I had said those words before, but this time I meant them. Even through the booze haze, it couldn’t happen again.
“We live together. We work together. And you’re my best friend, Noah. Why can’t it happen again?”
“We can’t do this. If we do? We break everything you just said.”
“I know,” Ford said. And that was the problem, he did. He knew we couldn’t, just like I did. And yet here we were, fucking each other because I was so damn weak.
“We can’t let it happen again.”
Ford didn’t say anything for so long, I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. And that was the problem, I usually knew what Ford was thinking. Finally, he stood up, naked and gorgeous. Long lines of muscles, tattoos, a few scars. He had been through hell before, had come out stronger for it.
And I had always wanted him. And maybe that was our problem.
“You’re directing your anger over what happened on me. I get it. You hate that you missed it. Only you didn’t. We didn’t. You don’t get to fuck me because you’re angry. Fuck me because you want to.”
At that, Ford Cage, my best friend, the lover that I knew I could never have, left, and I hung my head down, shame crawling over me.
I hated myself.
But it was the one thing I seemed to be good at these days.