Chapter Five #2
My human body hit the ground, cracking my head on a tree root. “Ughh,” I groaned, feeling my wolf healing pop something back into place. “P-Paxton? What happened?”
“H-help! Ugh, fuck! Daze, help me!”
The real pain and urgency in his voice shot me up. I raced back to him, falling by his side.
Paxton was completely naked and on display in all his lithe, muscled glory—which gave me an unobstructed view of the metal teeth latched on his ankle.
“What the fuck,” he roared, face purpling. “A wolf trap? What the hell is a wolf trap doing in our woods!” He yanked and clawed at the thing, fueled by shock more than panic.
A wolf finding a wolf trap in their own home was like a mundane walking into their kitchen and finding a mountain bear rooting around in their fridge. It did not belong.
“Paxton, easy, let me help you—”
“Ow! Don’t pull there!”
“Move your hand!”
“You’re making it clamp tighter!”
“If you’d just stop—!”
The clamp sprung open, knocking both of us clear off our backsides.
We tumbled through the mud like an eight-legged insect, screeching and flailing and bumping body parts together in the most unsexy ways imaginable.
We crashed hard into the same fucking tree, lying and groaning there in a moss-covered heap.
I snorted.
“What is that?” Paxton’s head shot out of the tangle, gazing down at me. “What are you doing?”
I clamped my hands over my mouth, fighting to keep it in.
“Don’t you dare, Daze. Don’t you dare laugh at—!”
Bursting out, I howled—body convulsing and shaking him right off me. “Guess what, Wolf Trap Boy? You lose.”
“I didn’t lose!” Paxton sat up, his mangled leg already stitching itself back together.
I looked away before it ruined my mood. Werewolf or not, it would never not be creepy watching skin zip itself back together like a handbag.
“I was attacked. Sabotaged!”
“You fell to p-pieces,” I wheezed, clutching my sides. “I’m so glad you’re in touch with your healthy masculinity and feel safe to cry in front of me.”
“Hey! There were no tears! These cheeks are dry. See?” He grabbed my hand, pressing my palm to his cheeks. “Dry!”
I blinked, laughter fading as we found ourselves so close together—my giggles drowning under my other senses. Drowning in him.
Paxton filled my vision, blotting out the forest, the moon, the faint cries of ravens in the distance. This close, I noticed the flecks of blue in his unfathomable eyes, drawing me into the kaleidoscope of colors hiding in his orbs.
His fingers slid down the hands cupping his cheeks, popping goose bumps on my flesh and standing my hairs on end.
I didn’t stop him grasping my cheeks in turn. I didn’t stop him drawing me closer, his eyes fluttering shut as those cherry-kissed lips determined to ravish mine.
I didn’t stop him pressing his mouth to mine—slow and gentle at first, then firm and insistent.
Paxton cupped the back of my head, tipping me back and deepening the kiss without hesitation or permission.
His tongue tangled with mine, battling for my complete and total surrender, while his hands glided over my body—stroking my leg, caressing my back, leaving a shivering trail everywhere they went.
We were buck naked, but Paxton didn’t take advantage. His wandering hands only wandered to the safe bits of me, waiting for permission to travel to places more interesting. Even in the midst of getting the crap kissed out of me, I appreciated the respect for my body.
For years, my sexuality had been driven by my wolf. She made me want who she wanted, and she happily threw ourselves at whoever such a person was. It was nice to be in control of who I touched and who touched me. Everything about the kiss was nice—
—and still I didn’t feel a thing.
Paxton and I broke apart, blinking at each other. I couldn’t fathom what he was thinking, but I knew what I was. I knew what so many other fated mates had discovered over the centuries. Just because a floating moon goddess in the sky thought someone was perfect for you, didn’t mean reality agreed.
I didn’t love Paxton. Of course I didn’t. I didn’t know or trust him, so how could I love him? Feeling all-consuming lust for him wasn’t the same thing, and I didn’t feel that anymore either. I didn’t know what bonds were made of, but I sensed none of these truths were it.
I sighed. “Paxton—”
“You didn’t feel anything, did you?”
“No, I’m sorry, but— Wait, did you?”
Paxton rocked back on his ass, sighing as deep as me. “Yeah, I felt like I was kissing a smoking hot woman who I wanted to carry behind that tree and ravish like a caveman.”
How am I still blushing!
“But there has to be more than that if we’re going to get the bond back,” he finished. “Don’t you think?”
“I do think,” I cried, rising up on my knees. “I mean, it was a very good kiss, and I’d have to be blind, dumb, and dead to not find you smokingly hot too, but...” I shook my head. “Luame forms bonds based on lust, I don’t. I don’t feel anything more than attraction to you, Paxton.” He winced at my bluntness, but I had to say it. He deserved the truth. “I’m sorry, but that’s not enough to bring the bond back. Not to me.”
He was quiet for a long time. “We’re going to die.”
It wasn’t a question. I wished it was, so I could do something other than well up with tears, and nod.
“How much time do you think we have?” he rasped, gazing off in the distance.
“I know how much time I need.” My three-month rapidly ticking down timeline constricted my chest, stealing all the air from the world. “But I don’t know if I’ll have it.”
Paxton nodded, his arms draped over his knees. His relaxed pose was at odds with the grave expression weighing heavy on his handsome face. “I guess this means you don’t want to do this anymore. Go on dates. Spend the evening with me.”
I swallowed hard. “That’s... exactly what it means,” I croaked, feeling the band squeeze tighter. “I’m sorry, Paxton, but if my time is running out, I don’t have a second of it to waste. I know what love is and what it’s supposed to feel like, and this just isn’t it. It’s better we don’t drag it out and accept reality now.”
“I understand.”
I hung on for him to say more, but nothing came. The silence stretched past comfortable.
“If you want to go,” I blurted, “spend however much time is left with your moms, I’d understand.”
“Nah.” Paxton got to his feet, dusting himself off. “I’m going to stick around here, if that’s cool. My moms were really proud of me for being the first omega to join the alpha track. I want to do the placement exams and get in on my own this time—proving I also belonged there.
“I want to die knowing I made them proud,” he whispered, staring up at the moon. “Much better than watching their failure of an only son die writhing and vomiting his way to death.”
“Paxton...”
Dropping his head, he smiled at me. “There’s no hard feelings, Daze. Honestly. You deserve better, and if I’d been better, we wouldn’t be here right now. I’m only sorry I’m taking you with me.”
Paxton turned to leave. A million pleas for him to stay, talk, forgive me sprung to my lips, but none of them came out.
I sat there long after he was gone—crying.
“Wow. That was brutal.”
I shot up, whipping around. I inhaled deep, scenting mud, blood, and forest creatures in the air. “Who is that? Who’s there?”
“Ouch, Volana. How can you not know who I am? You’re going to hurt my feelings.”
Every muscle in my body bound and tied in knots. That voice... I know that voice.
A dark, mud-covered figure broke through the trees. Mud, leaves, and twigs made for a terrible ensemble, but amazing camouflage.
Badr stepped through the shadows—his wide, chilling smirk flashing his beaming white teeth like the sun rising over a swamp.
What are you doing here? How did you get here? How long have you been listening to us? What do you want? All those questions and more rushed to my tongue and crowded to get out, but I asked none of them.
“Oh, Badr, is that you? I thought for a second it was a walking, talking piece of shit... and I was right.”
He chuckled. “I see you crawled out of your hole. Just like your best leech friend. You just don’t die.”
I breathed hard, straining to keep my calm. I felt exposed and vulnerable, and not just because I was standing there stark naked. The last time Badr and I were in these woods, I spilled my deepest secrets and heartache out to him, and he buried me alive.
I moved as Badr moved, keeping him in my sights at all times. He found my caution amusing if his widening smirk was anything to go by.
“What’s a wolf trap doing out here?”
I frowned, thrown by the off-topic question. Surely he wanted to shout, bitch, and moan about me ending his brother’s life, so he could justify giving me a slow, suffocating, agonizing death. “What?”
“What. Is. A. Wolf. Trap. Doing. Out. Here?” he repeated, saying it slow like he was speaking to a moron. “No wolf would ever put something like that out here. Which means we have an enemy.”
“I’ll look into it.”
“And if it was a wolf, there has to be a reason they’d make our own woods unsafe for the rest of us,” he continued. “Almost like they’re booby-trapping this area so that they can hide something.”
“I said I’d look into it.” My face gave no reaction. Booby-trapping the area to hide something was exactly why I had my metal wolf friend create a dozen of the vile things. I couldn’t have anyone stumbling over the alpha voice killer. It was my biggest advantage in the coming war, and if I couldn’t watch it all day, then I needed an alarm system to the tune of loud, ear-piercing screams.
If only I’d realized Paxton was getting so close.
“Are you sure?” Badr cocked his mud-covered head. “You’ve probably got too much on your plate, Headmistress. Let me just run and get Vice Headmistress Ash—”
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” I burst out. “You didn’t cover yourself in manure and perfectly time your entrance so that you can blather on to me about wolf traps! What are you doing here, Badr? Why the fuck did you come back?”
“Ah, good question.” He rocked back on his heels, dropping his shoulder against a tree trunk. “The truth is I wasn’t going to come back. After avenging my brother and getting rid of you for good, I went at the gate—ready to rip it apart with my fangs if that’s what it took to get out of here, but then”—he clicked his tongue—“it just swung open.”
I slowly inched back, wishing I could just run. It wasn’t a full moon night, so Badr couldn’t lay a finger on me, but it’s not like a sun wolf needed to. All he had to do was blind me, and I’d be back in the grave.
It was awful. Looking right at him would be the end of me, but looking away and letting him get the jump on me would achieve the same end. The only thing to do was run, but my sprint through the woods tired my wolf out, and she was already not at her best.
I need to think of a way out of this one. Think, Daze. Think!
“—when I heard that you didn’t die. ” A vicious, dangerous edge bled into his voice. “You were still alive and plotting your insane take-over-the-world garbage. I knew I had to stop you again but I didn’t know how until Orion called.”
“What?” I halted my slow retreat. “Orion?”
“That’s right.” Badr was beaming like a kid at Christmas. “He’s still a little PO’d about you framing him for murder and landing him in prison. Anyway, he called me up and told me there’s a new vice in the school, and she—only she—is in charge of your fates.”
Oh no...
“You can’t punish us. You can’t scold us.” Every word and every step brought him closer. “You can’t expel us. You can’t stop us,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s over, Volana. Give up now because burning up projection equipment was only the beginning.”
“Wait, you did that!”
“Of course not.” He shrugged, moving away and allowing me to breathe. “I’m no fire wolf. Orion blew it up.”
My jaw dropped, even though, honestly, that was the most obvious explanation. “How could he do that? How can you look so fucking smug about it! Do you have any idea how big a deal that was for the omegas? No, not just them—for everyone! Only clan leaders can propose the laws for the council to vote on. This was going to be a huge step forward in equal—”
“Who are you putting on this show for!” Badr roared, eyes bugging.
I jerked, stomach shooting up in my throat.
“It’s me you’re talking to! There’s no one else around. There’s no one else who cares! Quit with the bullshit, Volana! You care about equality like a terrorist cares about world peace!” The dried mud around his mouth cracked with the force of his bellows. “Tonight was just another round in your long fucking con game!”
“That’s not true!” Suddenly, I was screaming just as loud. “For fuck’s sake, Badr! Everything I told you that night was the truth. We want the same things! Vengeance for Castor and a safe world for Hope!”
He snorted so hard, he blew mud off his upper lip. “Oh, please. Enough with the fake-baby bullshit. That kid doesn’t even exist.”
“I can literally get my phone and show you pictures of her right now, jackass!”
Badr scoffed again. “You’ll show me pictures of a baby. That doesn’t mean she’s yours, and it damn sure doesn’t mean she’s Castor’s.”
I threw up my hands. “What the hell do you want? A video of me expelling her from my fucking womb?!”
“Huh— Actually, yes,” he replied, his volume turning down. “I do want to see that. Alright, Volana, a video of you having a baby, and I’ll believe that you, in fact, had a baby.”
“Well— I—” Frustration choked me. “I don’t have a video of the birth!”
His smug grin made me want to kill him.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snapped. “I had zero desire to replay, or show everyone, my vagina ripping apart as I pushed a bloody, screaming watermelon out of it. Not every woman does, and that’s not weird!” I tossed my head. “What the fuck are we even talking about? This has nothing to do with anything!
“Badr, I’ve told you what’s at stake. You have to believe me. You have to help me!” I couldn’t believe I was reduced to reasoning with him. Pleading with him. But what choice did I have? I was dying from the broken bond. I didn’t have three months to defeat the alpha council. Going by how quickly my wolf was deteriorating, I’d be lucky if I had a month. “Everything I’m doing is for the good of our world. If Luame could speak to you, she’d tell you the same fucking thing!”
His expression refused to soften. “Luame’s not here, Volana. It’s just you and me, but how about this?” Badr clapped. “I make you a one-time-only offer. Proof,” he growled. “Give me one shred of proof for any of the things you told me that night. I’ll even wait right here and let you go get it if you need to.
“Proof of just one of your claims,” Badr said, holding up a finger. “Proof that my brother was poisoned, proof that Dagem arranged his murder, proof that half the fucking staff was involved, proof that Rici was murdered too, proof the alpha council somehow figured out the future before you—the child of the moon goddess—did, and that they have been plotting and planning to turn all of Wolf Nation into a nightmarish hellscape of rape and genocide.”
My mind spun. “I— Uh— Nia,” I blurted. “She was there the night Rici was murdered. She’ll tell you everything.”
Badr was shaking his head before I finished. “She’s an omega. She’ll say what she’s told.”
“But not by me! I’m not an alpha. I can’t command her to lie.”
“But all the alphas she witnessed murder Rici would.” Bright, burning eyes saw straight through me. “Seriously, Volana, that was the most ridiculous part of your story. I’m supposed to believe an omega saw Dagem and Sunella murder the most powerful werewolf in Europe, and instead of killing her or commanding her to keep silent, they just let her skip out of the room to tell you all about it?” Badr barked a laugh. “You must really think we’re all empty-headed pussy hounds like the boy toys you’ve got dangling from your fingertips.”
“No, that’s not it.” Anger made my claws sprout. “They didn’t kill her because they were still using her and her power, and they didn’t have to command her because slaughtering her brothers is a pretty effective threat!”
More headshaking. “Give it up, Volana, I’m not buying it. What else you got?”
I let out a scream, wishing I could wrap my clawed hands around his neck and squeeze, but even then, my wolf wanted to rub my naked body all over his muck-covered form. How could I want and hate someone so much and so equally? “Okay, fine. I can show you the web of payments from Sunella to Dagem, and then Dagem to her co-conspirators.”
He waved that away. “That wouldn’t prove anything. You can prove they were paid, you can’t prove what they were paid for.”
“What the hell are you? A lawyer!”
“I would’ve been if a certain psychopath hadn’t murdered my brother.” He smiled mirthlessly at me. “Without the heir, Papa Cygnus turned on the spare to carry on his legacy, and that included protecting Wolf Nation from people like you.”
I balled my fists, ignoring the vicious pain of my own claws piercing my palms. “All right. Fine. I didn’t want to do this but...” I blew out a rough breath. “Hope.”
“I already told you, pictures of some kid aren’t—”
“I’ll show you her powers,” I sliced in, cutting him off. “She really is a prodigy. She’s already started displaying them.” My eyes latched on to his. “And that will convince you, won’t it? A werewolf baby brimming with more than one impossible power, when having more than one was itself believed to be impossible. That will prove that everything I said was true, yes?”
Badr studied me for a long, silent spell. Tipping up his chin, he said, “Yes. That will prove it.”
“Follow me.”