Chapter 27 - Reid
I lie in bed staring up at the ceiling, listening to Julian’s breathing from across the room.
It’s been a hard few days in this house with the anniversary of the accident passing.
I let my mind drift over everything that’s happened over the last year.
Those horrible first few months, especially when we almost lost Luna too, are hard to think back on.
It still makes my pulse race and sweat break out on my forehead when I consider how close we came to the unthinkable.
I roll over and bury my face in the pillow and breathe deeply.
It still smells like Luna from when I brought it outside for her to use on the deck earlier tonight.
She was so lost in her sadness that it was breaking my heart.
I couldn’t find the right words to console her, so I fell back on what helps me.
I grabbed the pillow and a blanket and pulled her out onto the back deck with me.
I settled down behind her in one of the loungers and pulled her tight against my chest so her back rested against me, and then handed her my earbuds.
“Look at the stars, Hobby, and let the music soothe your soul.”
She put the earbuds in and settled back while I played song after song for her.
We didn’t talk; we just held hands and listened to sad music until she was ready to go back inside to sleep.
It was amazing. Guilt floods me at the thought.
Instead of focusing on how awful it is that my friend and his parents died, all I could think about was her warm hand in mine and how much I love being close to her.
I miss Atlas and her parents every day and would give anything to have them back, but living here with her and the guys has been such a gift for me.
I never want it to change. We’re a family and that’s something I never really had.
Kara, Julian, and I carved out our own small family from an early age, created out of need to protect each other from the families we were born into, and even that couldn’t save me from all the abuse my mother sent my way.
It’s somewhat easier to look back on those years now that I feel safe.
Luna’s therapist ended up being mine too, after I saw how much it helped her.
She guided me to work through all the thoughts of shame and misery I lived with after what my mother and her friend did to me.
I was only thirteen when my mother’s friend set her eyes on me.
Mother thought it would be a favor to me to have such an experienced woman introduce me to sex, or maybe it just entertained her to whore me out.
My begging for that woman not to touch me went unheard, and my young teen body betrayed me so she could have her way with me.
Our therapist helped me come to terms with it not being my fault, that I was a victim.
She helped me deal with everything that came after I tried to take my life as well.
I have better coping methods now when my anxiety surges, and I’m seeing sex differently than I did before.
I breathe in the smell of lilacs and pull the pillow tighter to my chest. Sex is something I think I want, sex with Luna.
I want everything with her, but I want that too.
She’s so fucking beautiful and sweet, I love her.
I love everything about her and want to be as close to her as I can get.
The idea of touching her, kissing her - makes my dick ache with need.
It also makes me feel so fucking guilty.
I make a small groan and roll over, opening my eyes.
The headlights from a passing car briefly brighten the room and let me see Jules looking right back at me from his bed.
He rolls off the bed and comes over to mine to settle beside me while leaning against the headboard.
He pulls the pillow from my grip and brings it to his face, breathing deep and then drops it.
His voice is low and quiet in the dark. “She’s not ready yet but one day she will be.”
I reach down and adjust my hard dick to a more comfortable place. “I…I won’t know what to do. You know I’ve never…except…” Guilt and shame flare up.
“We’ll be together just like we always are.
We’ll give her everything she needs when the time’s right.
” He studies my face and sighs. “You don’t need to feel guilty, Reid.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting her that way.
” He takes my hand and moves it down between my legs.
“Take your dick out and stroke it while I tell you exactly how, together, we’ll make her scream in pleasure if she lets us one day. ”
A dark thrill courses through me as I move higher on the bed so we are shoulder to shoulder.
He curls toward me so his mouth is right next to my ear.
His voice is gritty and deep as he tells me in detail what we’ll do to Luna’s soft, sweet body with our hands, mouths, cocks, and how she’ll beg us for more.
I pull my boxers down and grip my hard cock and begin to stroke, imagining everything in the picture he’s painting.
It’s hot and dirty, and everything I didn’t know I needed to hear.
I’m right on the edge of blowing when I grab his hand so that his fingers cover mine and squeeze my cock.
That’s all it takes for me to cum all over my stomach, not just the thought of being with her that way, but being with her with him.
His hand stays over mine as I ride out the orgasm and then he pulls away and tosses me a box of tissues before going back to his own bed.
What Jules and I have isn’t sexual between us; it’s something much deeper than that.
I’m his and he is mine. Adding Luna to that equation, when she’s ready, will only make it better.