Chapter 28 - Gage
Luna’s cuddled up against me with her legs stretched out and resting on Reid’s lap as we watch tonight’s episode of Yellowstone. She barks a laugh at something Beth says and jokes, “It’s like watching Kara if she wore denim and cowboy boots.”
I shift my head down an inch toward her head and catch a whiff of the intoxicating smell of her shampoo, lilacs and lavender. It’s a real struggle to keep my arm on the back of the couch and not drop it down to wrap her up and pull her onto my lap.
Every day it gets harder to not tell her, show her, how I feel about her.
I know she’s not ready for that yet. The one-year anniversary was a couple of months ago and it set her back a bit.
I can still hear her cries at night and those dark shadows still paint her eyes on more days than not.
She needs more time, but it’s so fucking hard to wait.
A text comes in on my phone and when I thumb it open, I suck in a breath of surprise, causing Luna to turn her head and look at it.
Her hand flashes out and tilts the screen so she can see it better and then she snags the TV remote and pauses the show.
I swallow the knot in my throat at the look in her eyes as she stares at me.
I’m about to tell her it’s nothing, that I’m not interested, when a smile cracks across her stunned expression.
“That’s amazing, Gage! Congratulations.”
Now everyone is looking at me so I have to explain. “They offered me a job and I said no. This is just another offer to sweeten the deal, but I’m not going to accept.”
Julian narrows his eyes at me. “What deal and how sweet is it?”
I shift uncomfortably before telling them about it. “It’s remote work at a mine up north. They need heavy equipment mechanics pretty badly, so the pay is more than double what I make right now.” I glance at Luna, who still has that strained smile on her face.
“You’d have to move up north? Like move, move?” Reid asks with a hint of panic in his voice.
“No, it’s on a rotation, fly in-fly out. Seven days on, seven days off.”
“You need to say yes.”
My eyes dart to Luna at hearing that from her. That smile is gone and now she’s completely serious. I shake my head but she just nods.
“Yes, you do. This is an amazing opportunity, Gage. You can’t let it pass you by, not just the money but the experience.
” Her throat bobs. She’s smiling again but this time it’s real and soft as she takes my hand.
“It’s time. We all have to start living our lives.
Besides, seven on, seven off means we still will have you half the time.
That’s not so bad.” She turns to the others.
“Right, guys? He should take it, right?”
They all nod in agreement but the air is thick with all the words we aren’t saying.
Torrin’s gone for part of the year for baseball, and if I take this job, I’ll be gone for half the year too.
Is she ready for that? Am I ready for that?
My eyes drop to her lips as she swipes on some cherry Chapstick.
It’s a nervous tell of hers. I want to kiss that cherry right off her lips and tell her that I’m not going anywhere and that right there is the reason I’ll take the job.
A little bit of space between us will help me keep my distance until she is ready.
What she says next has me shocked and then glad.
“I won’t be here all the time either.” Her eyes flash around to all of us before landing back on mine.
“I’m… I got a job, too. It’s nothing big, just waitressing.
It’s time for me to start doing more, living more.
My therapist signed off on it.” Her eyes well up but she sniffs those tears back.
“Take the job, Gage. This is a good step on our journey, for both of us.”
I reach out and pull her down so she’s cuddled back up next to me and take the remote to start the show again. It will be good for us and it will help her be one step closer for what comes next… us.