34. Lucy
thirty-four
Lucy
Nate has been acting weird. Ever since our kiss, and his impromptu run with Caleb, about a week ago, he’s seemed… distracted. At first, I thought he was overwhelmed by how powerful that kiss was. But maybe it wasn’t as world-rocking for him as it was for me.
That kiss changed everything. It gave me hope for a future full of love, not just the illusion of it.
It made me think that maybe marrying Nate was God’s way of answering my prayers for a family—that it might be God’s way of handing me exactly what I prayed for in a very unexpected package.
But… maybe for him it was just a kiss, and I jumped to a conclusion he never intended to reach. My stomach churns as I realize I let one kiss convince me that we wanted the same future.
A glass of water appears in my peripheral vision, and I blink away the stupor I fell into as my mind wandered. I take the glass from Skye and thank her. She nods and sinks gracefully into the armchair in her cottage living room. It was lucky that I caught her home alone this afternoon.
She frowns as her eyes scan my face like she’s conducting a symptom search. “Are you okay?”
I swallow a mouthful of water and set the glass on the end table beside my spot on the couch. Quinn stands in the middle of the floor, and I scoot to the edge of the couch, ready to catch her if she stumbles. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Her eyes narrow. “Your blood sugar is in range?”
I roll my eyes and unlock my phone, swinging it around so she can see the perfectly normal number on the screen.
She purses her lips and nods. “Good. So, what’s bothering you?”
I shake my head as Quinn jabbers, waving a toy in the air, then tossing it across the room. “Nothing.”
Quinn takes several confident steps across the floor before she drops onto her hands and knees, crawling the rest of the way to the toy.
Skylar raises a brow. “I don’t believe you.”
I sigh and sink back into the couch cushions. “I’m panicking a little.”
She frowns. “Why?”
“Nate is being weird.”
She rolls her eyes. “Nate’s a weird guy.”
I shoot her a glare, taking personal offense at the slight to my husband. “He is not.”
She smirks and sets her elbow on the arm of the chair, propping her chin on her fist. “What is he doing that’s weird?”
My gaze wanders to Quinn. Watching her feels safer than meeting Skye’s gaze as I discuss my concerns. “He seems distracted when we’re together. ‘Antsy’ might be a better word. Maybe a little cagey, too.”
She tilts her head. “I think I need some examples.”
I sigh and tug at the hem of my shorts nervously. “We’ll be in the middle of a conversation, and he’ll change the subject randomly. He’s spending more time on his phone. When I ask him what he’s doing, he says that he’s ‘checking on something.’”
She frowns. “When did this start?”
I clear my throat and run my hands down my legs. “After we kissed.”
Her eyes widen, and she leans forward. “You kissed? That’s a big deal. Right?”
I nod as Quinn hands me a toy. I roll it around in my hands as words spill out of me. “I thought it was. But now I’m starting to think it was a bigger deal for me than for him. I mean, I thought it was life-changing, but maybe he just thought it was nice. You know?”
Quinn takes the toy back and waddles across the room to find another place to put it.
Skye blinks owlishly. “Life-changing?”
I nod and drop my gaze to my hands as I pick at my nails. “Yeah. I thought it was the moment that this thing between us would finally shift from pretend to real. But what if he doesn’t see it that way? Maybe I read too much into it.”
Quinn reaches for the fireplace on the other side of the room, and I jump off the couch and redirect her. “Oh, no, sweet girl. Let’s not put the toy in there. That could hurt.”
Thankfully, it’s August, and everything in the fireplace is turned off. I sink onto the hearth to discourage Quinn from trying to reach inside the grate again.
Skylar frowns, unfazed by Quinn’s antics. “Did he enjoy the kiss?”
My cheeks feel hot as I nod. “Definitely. It was… perfect.”
Her eyes twinkle with mischief. “Has he kissed you since then?”
I tuck my hair behind my ear and nod. “Yes.”
She smirks. “Were those kisses life-changing, too?”
I roll my eyes and cross the room to sit on the couch again. “They were great, but it felt like he was holding himself back again, and I don’t know what to think about it.”
She frowns and tilts her head. “I think you’re thinking too much.”
I raise my brows. “Skylar Murphy, you are Willow Bend’s leading over-thinker. How can you sit there and tell me that I’m thinking too much?”
She smirks guiltily. “I’m only saying that maybe it’s not as complicated as you’re making it out to be. Maybe he needs some time to adjust to things shifting from pretend to real. Not everyone can jump into domestic mode at the drop of a hat like you can.”
My gaze shifts to Quinn as she systematically pulls everything out of the diaper bag, and my cheeks lift in a soft smile.
She’s not wrong. Adjusting from Quinn’s babysitter to her mother figure has been smooth and natural, like I was made for this.
But he might need time to shift from acting like he cares about me as more than a friend to feeling it for real. Maybe I am overthinking.
I hope I’m overthinking.
Skylar shrugs. “I’d give it a little longer, and if nothing changes, talk to him about it.”
I nod and slide onto the floor beside Quinn as I tuck the diapers and wipes back into the bag.
Wait and then talk.
I can do that.
Usually, quiet car rides with Nate don’t bother me.
But this one is setting me on edge. When he suggested that we drop Quinn off with his parents and go on a date, I was excited and relieved.
I thought it meant that things were finally settling, and he would go back to normal around me.
But he hasn’t spoken a word since we left his parents’ house, and he keeps gripping the steering wheel like he’s afraid to lose control of the vehicle on the wide, empty road in the warm evening sunlight.
I waited as Skylar advised. Now, it’s time to talk.
I draw a deep breath and turn to Nate, noting his tense posture and the way he has his lips rolled into his mouth. “Is everything okay?”
He glances at me with a frown. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
My eyes narrow. “You’ve been acting a little odd lately.”
He flips the blinker on and slows to make a turn, but I’m too focused on figuring this out to care where we’re going. “Odd how?”
“You seem distracted, or like you’re hiding something. It started after our kiss when we were scraping wallpaper.” I pause and gather my courage. “I thought that was a big moment for us. But maybe I read too much into it.”
I don’t even notice that my leg is bouncing until Nate sets his hand on my knee to still it.
His gaze meets mine briefly as he guides the car through a bend in the road. “Hold that thought for a minute.”
I frown as he flips the blinker on again and turns up the steep road that leads to the church building. “What are we doing here?”
Nate squeezes my knee in response.
When we get to the top of the hill, my eyes widen. The triangular arbor Nate built is standing on the edge of the bluff again, covered in flowers and flowing white fabric like at our wedding.
I turn to him with my brows raised as he parks the car. “What are you up to, Nathaniel?”
He smirks and opens his door. “Come and see, Lucinda.”
I slip out of the SUV and meet him on the other side.
He slides his hand into mine and smiles as he leads me toward our wedding arbor.
The soft scent of roses meets us as we stop in the place where we said our vows not so long ago.
The sun is sinking toward the horizon, casting a warm, pink glow over everything, just like that beautiful Friday night in June when I became Mrs. Walker.
I take a moment to soak it all in as my stomach churns with nerves. I thought everything changed when we kissed, but I think the real change is about to begin.
Nate turns to me and tucks my hair behind my ear, cupping my cheek with a soft smile. “That kiss was a big moment for me, too. So big that it scared me.”
I frown and set a hand on his arm, but he continues, “I realized this is bigger than friends helping each other out. Bigger than healthcare and childcare. Bigger even than us. We’ve created a beautiful family, Luce, and for me it means so much more than just playing house.”
My eyes itch with impending tears as he takes a step closer and sets his other hand on my side. I blink the moisture away, slide my hand up his arm, and settle into his touch.
He draws a steadying breath, and his eyes meet mine with the intensity from our wedding day and the fire from our first real kiss. “Which is why I’ve been more careful. This is too important—I can’t mess it up.”
I frown and set my hands on his chest, taking a step closer as he winds his arms around my back. “Mess what up?”
His eyes fall closed, and he sets his forehead on mine. “Us. I can’t lose you, Lucy.”
I bring my hand up to stroke his cheek and trail my fingers along his jaw. “You won’t lose me, Nate. I’m not going anywhere.”
His jaw clenches, and he exhales, then kisses my forehead and straightens up to meet my gaze. My hand falls back to his chest, where I can feel his heart thudding rapidly.
His eyes roam my face. “I’ve been so worried about this moment, making sure that I do it right, because you deserve for it to be perfect.”
His arms drop to his sides, and I feel a chill in the absence of his embrace as he takes a step back. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black box. My heart flutters in my chest as he opens the box, revealing a beautiful gold band with a round diamond at the center.
His deep voice is steady, and my eyes dart to his face. “The day you agreed to marry me, you told me that you didn’t want an engagement ring because they were for people who are in love.”