CHAPTER FIFTEEN #2
“And even though Declan and Willa fight whenever they’re within twenty feet of each other, I sometimes wonder about their relationship.”
Edward raised his eyebrows. “Isn’t he a little old for her?”
“Not anymore,” I said. “Willa’s twenty-two now, and Declan’s twenty-five.” I looked at him. “But who knows? I’m probably wrong and they really do hate each other’s guts. Plus, I haven’t exactly been home often enough to see what things are like between them now.”
Edward grinned. “Declan doesn’t strike me as the boyfriend type. At least, he didn’t use to. He was interested in lots of women. I’d have a hard time believing he would settle down with just one.”
I actually had plenty of insight into Declan’s love life—probably more than I wanted—and I knew he was more than capable of settling down with the right woman.
But it would feel like sharing secrets if I went into too much detail with Edward.
“He might surprise you,” is all I would say on the matter.
Edward held out his hand for mine. “Let’s go to dinner. You can tell me more about everyone then. I’d love to get caught up.”
We walked down the stairs together, waving once again to Mrs. Rivera, and got back in his car.
I loved how old-fashioned he was, holding doors for me, putting his hand on my back, basically making me feel important, and cared for, and beautiful.
For a minute, I wondered if he’d be like that in bed, too.
Reserved, gentlemanly. It was hard to judge from our one night together, considering we had both been virgins.
It had been amazing, though. Much better than any sexual experience I’d had since.
And he hadn’t been reserved or gentlemanly then.
Just thinking about it made me hot all over, and I pushed those thoughts away. Who knew if Edward and I would ever get back to a place where I’d know more about how good he was in bed?
This was about friendship. Just about friendship, I kept reminding myself.
I relaxed on the way to the hotel. Edward told me about his mom. She’d continued to lean on him for a while after his father’s death, but she’d come out of her shell over the past couple of years.
“She’s even dating a bit now. Which is fucking weird, if I’m being honest.”
“I bet.” I couldn’t imagine either of my parents with anyone else. “Do you think she’ll get remarried?”
He shook his head. “Nah. Mom and Dad’s marriage was… bad. I don’t think she’ll ever sign up for that again.”
“Sorry,” I winced. “That must have been difficult to grow up watching.”
“It was. But it was just as hard being an only child in a lot of ways. I think if I’d had siblings, then I could’ve had a more normal childhood.
I’m so glad I had Lufton. And then your family and the Whittakers, too.
I think I’d have grown up to be a much different person if it weren’t for all the time I spent with y’all. ”
“I can’t imagine how different your childhood was from mine. You must’ve been so happy whenever Lufton stayed with you.”
“Yes. It got so lonely.” He glanced at me. “Those summers when Lufton and I hung out with y’all and the Whittakers were the best of my life.”
“They meant a lot to me, too.”
He parked, we walked into the restaurant, and we were seated almost immediately. It seemed like a lot of the dinner crowd had cleared out because of the late hour. Plenty of people still packed the bar area, though, so I was sure they’d still be open for a good while.
I smiled and looked out the window at the dark night outside. People were still walking by on the sidewalks, holding hands under the streetlights.
Dinner at the hotel was delicious, and I realized that I enjoyed being around Edward just as much as I ever had.
Maybe even more. He and I talked and laughed through appetizers, entrees, and desserts.
He ordered plenty of wine, and we were both relaxed, even though an undercurrent of tension was obviously running between us.
It felt like equal parts attraction and the unsaid words between us.
Things suddenly fell quiet, and I knew, as if someone had flipped a switch, that it was time for us to talk about things. Edward cleared his throat while I took a sip of wine.
“That last summer was… awful,” he said, his clear blue eyes landing on me and filled with regret. “When we were nineteen?”
I laughed ruefully. “I knew which summer you meant.”
He looked sheepish. “Yeah. Of course you did. Sorry.” He took a sip of wine. “As I told you, I broke up with Sara the first chance I got,” he admitted.
I frowned. “You know, I always thought you brought her over to the farm all summer. At least that’s what I pictured.”
He looked completely taken aback. “What? Why would you think that?”
“I left explicit instructions for Livy to tell you that it was fine to bring her over. I knew you’d already lost so much, and I didn’t want to take away your fun…”
“No.” He cut me off, shaking his head. “My God. I can’t believe you thought that all these years. Why didn’t Olivia tell you what happened that next day after you left? Or Declan?”
I thought back to that time. “I… I swore them to secrecy. I told them they should still be friends with you, but that I didn’t want to hear anything about it. About you.”
Edward looked hurt. “And you never asked about me again?”
I shook my head. “It hurt too much.” I took another sip of wine to hide the emotion in my voice.
“They tried to talk to me about you a few times, tried to tell me things. But I got mad at them and refused to listen.” I shrugged.
“It wasn’t the most mature way to handle it.
I wish I’d done it differently, but I just couldn’t handle it at the time.
It seemed like whenever someone would mention you or talk about you, it would spin me back into this funk that took a while to get out of. ”
He winced. “I hate that I hurt you. I hate it so much.” He looked out the window for a moment before turning back to me. He seemed nervous and pulled at the collar of his shirt as if it was too tight. “I wish… I wish I’d had the chance to say this to you back then. Will you listen now?”
I nodded.
He leaned back in his chair, his eyes distant, as if he was back in that time. “Well, I woke up the next morning full of hope…” he began.
***
Edward, nineteen
Last night had been horrible in a lot of ways. Seeing Cara brought everything rushing back to me. God, she was so fucking beautiful. And sweet. She would have been well within her rights to yell at me or cuss me out. Sara definitely would have if their places were reversed.
Instead, Cara had listened and even sympathized with me.
I couldn’t wait to see her today. Olivia had invited Lufton and me over again for swimming and another cook out. I loved summers with the Hargraves and Whittakers. Every day felt like a celebration.
Lufton was staying with me for the summer again.
He’d even offered to help out at work, but I didn’t take him up on it.
There was plenty for him to do, but I knew my friend would be overloaded with work as soon as he graduated from Vandy.
He’d be moving right into an executive position with Lufton Resorts.
I wanted him to have what I didn’t get—a few more years of freedom.
“Still into Livy, huh?” It mystified me that my friend, the one-time player of all players, had never moved on from his childhood crush. Even though I hadn’t either.
“More than ever,” he said seriously. “She’s it for me, man. I swear.”
“And you’ve kept your dick to yourself all year at Vandy?”
He laughed a little ruefully. “What would you say if I had?”
My eyes widened. “I would say I never thought I’d live to see the day…”
“Oh, come on. I’m not that bad. Besides, Livy’s who I want.
Not anybody else.” He gave me a quick grin.
“Plus, I’ve made several trips home. And she’s come to see me up at Vandy.
I tried to get her to apply there, but she had her heart set on the University of Virginia.
” He shrugged. “I’ll go see her there next year. ”
“So, are y’all exclusive?”
He shook his head and looked out the window.
“I made it clear I wanted us to be before I left for Vandy. But she wasn’t ready for all of that yet.
Damn near broke my heart,” he admitted gruffly.
“She doesn’t know that I’m only with her.
I mean, I’ve gone on some dates, but I’m not fucking anyone.
It would just feel… wrong. If she would let what we have turn into something serious?
I’d happily never touch or look at another woman again. She knows that, too.”
“What if she’s never ready for that?” I asked gently.
He fixed me with a stare. His unusual blue-green eyes always seemed to see right through me. “You’re kidding, right? I’m in love with her. She’s going to fall in love with me someday. I know it. We’re fated to be together.”
“You sound like Shakespeare, man.”
He shrugged. “Mr. Campione at school wasn’t wrong. I do have the soul of a poet. But I’d much rather be Darcy and Elizabeth than Romeo and Juliet. I’d prefer to live at the end of my epic love story.”
I didn’t even try to pretend like I hadn’t read Pride and Prejudice, too. “I can understand that,” I said. We pulled into the circular driveway between the Hargrave and Whittaker farmhouses.
“What about Cara? Did you confess your undying love to her?”
I winced. “Not exactly. I came clean about Sara. But I felt like I needed to end things with her first, before I tell Cara I never stopped loving her.”
Lufton flopped his head back onto the seat rest dramatically. “What the hell, man? You should’ve just told her last night. Why would you waste any time? There’s no way Cara will stay single long. You know that, right?”