Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
JUDE
“Well, that went well,” Charlotte notes as we close the door behind Lucy and Cal. They spent two hours with us before leaving so we could put Ava down for bed for the evening.
I lean against the wall next to the front door and let out a relieved sigh. “Yeah, that went great. Better than I could’ve expected, honestly.”
Charlotte smiles. “And what were you expecting?”
“For Cal to grill me with questions or for him to be pissed that I waited as long as I did to tell him.”
“Did you guys have a good talk?”
For the better part of an hour, Lucy and Char sat on the couch catching up and playing with Ava while Cal and I stood in the kitchen.
I hadn’t realized that much time had passed until Lucy finally came into the kitchen, saying she was hungry and that we should eat the food she brought.
It felt normal to have them here, even now with Ava in the picture.
Lucy and Cal were both great with Ava. I honestly couldn’t have asked for it to go any better, which is a huge relief.
“Our talk went really well. I’m excited they’ll be here all summer.”
Charlotte adjusts the position in which she holds Ava before walking to the kitchen. “I am too. It’ll be a fun summer with everyone. You’ll get to meet lots of new people, won’t you, Ava girl?” She leans in and playfully kisses Ava on the cheek.
“Now that Cal and Lucy have met her, I think I’m more comfortable with taking her to Pembroke and letting everyone else meet her as well.”
Charlotte pauses, grabbing a bottle from the drying rack. “Yeah?”
I nod. “Now that my parents and two of my closest friends know about her, I don’t feel as nervous about letting everyone else know too.”
I’m not sure what exactly I was expecting from Cal and Lucy, but the way they just accepted the news without asking many questions wasn’t it.
I don’t know if I’m just naturally more curious than anyone else, or if they could just tell I wasn’t ready to divulge more, but I know if the roles were reversed and Cal suddenly had a baby, I’d have a million questions.
There was something about watching Lucy, Cal, and Charlotte play with Ava that made me feel like everything was going to be okay and that I might actually be able to handle all of this.
Today was only the first day that Lucy and Cal met my daughter, but there was something about the effortless way we all interacted that proved that maybe I’m the one overthinking this, and I need to just live my life.
“That’s good,” Char responds. She keeps her voice gentle as she begins to make a bottle one-handed.
I already offered to take Ava from her or make the bottle myself, but she refused it.
She said Cal and Lucy stole all the time with Ava while they were here, and she wanted to get her “Ava fix” before her bedtime.
“You shouldn’t be locked away at home all summer because you have a baby.
You don’t deserve that, and neither does she.
No one is entitled to information you don’t want to give them.
If they ask you personal questions, politely tell them to fuck off. ”
I laugh as I grab the edge of the kitchen island and lean forward. “Did you just cuss around my daughter?”
Char’s eyes go wide. She gives me an apologetic smile as she sets the bottle in the bottle warmer. “Maybe. Luckily, she isn’t old enough to repeat anything yet. I promise I will not be dropping the f-bomb around her at that point.”
There’s a tightening in my chest at the mention of her still being in our lives years from now.
It’s not that I expected Charlotte not to be around by then—she’s been so deeply ingrained in my life over the past year that I really can’t imagine life without her—but she’s also never really talked about her long-term plans.
I know she wants to open a photography business here, but I don’t know how serious she is about it.
With how close she is with her family, I can’t help but wonder if the appeal of the Hamptons will wear off for her and she’ll want to return to Arizona.
I hate the thought of her moving so far away, and I can’t pretend it isn’t scary to think about the possibility of her not always being a part of our lives.
“Maybe we’ll start a swear jar when she gets older. She’d make a fortune off the two of us.”
Char throws her head back and laughs. “Yes, she will.”
I smile as my body relaxes slightly at her agreeing with me.
If she thinks Ava will make a fortune off both of us, then maybe it means she doesn’t have any intentions of leaving us.
I hope that’s true. Even when I think about the future and what things will look like for my daughter and me years from now, I can’t help but picture Charlotte still in our lives too.
Ava wriggles in Charlotte’s arms as she lets out a small whine. I tilt my head toward my daughter. “Want me to take her?”
Charlotte shakes her head. “No, I’ve got her. I might go sit on the couch and get her comfy if you want to bring the bottle over once it’s warm.”
“Of course.”
Charlotte lifts Ava up and brings her closer to her face. “Your bottle’s almost done, I promise.” In an attempt to keep her from fussing, she leans in and blows a raspberry against Ava’s neck. Instead of crying, Ava lets out an excited squeal.
Charlotte’s eyes immediately find mine. “Was that a laugh?”
I can’t help but smile at her excitement. Charlotte said that Ava is now around the age where babies can start laughing, so the two of us have been trying hard to be the first person to get her to do it. “It was close,” I respond.
Charlotte leans in and blows another raspberry against Ava’s neck. Ava’s tiny body scrunches together as she lets out another squeal.
“Ugh, so close,” Char mutters as she pulls away from Ava’s neck with a smile. “I’m going to get the first laugh out of you, Ava girl.”
I shake my head and close the distance so I’m standing right next to them. I lean in and place a kiss against my daughter’s cheek. “I don’t think so. You’ve got to laugh for me first, baby girl.” I repeat the same thing Charlotte just did and blow a raspberry against Ava’s neck.
She lets out the same excited noise, but I don’t stop. I blow another one against the ticklish spot between her neck and shoulder in hopes of finally getting a real laugh out of her.
Ava reacts the same way she has been, holding out on giving us a laugh despite my best attempts.
“You’re cheating,” Charlotte mutters. She turns slightly, pulling Ava away from me in an attempt to prevent me from being able to try to make Ava laugh.
My eyes go wide as I shake my head. “Oh, no you don’t.”
“I’m going to get you,” Charlotte says in a baby voice before leaning in and blowing another raspberry against Ava’s neck. She glances at me while she does it, clearly amused with herself.
I grab Charlotte by the hips so she can’t move as I lean in and press my mouth against Ava’s neck. We’re both blowing raspberries against her skin. She lets out one excited squeal after another before letting out the most adorable little laugh.
Both Charlotte and I continue to blow the raspberries against her skin until she lets out another laugh, this time an intense belly laugh that is the cutest sound in the world.
I freeze.
Charlotte freezes.
Our eyes connect as both of our faces break out into deep smiles.
“She did it!” Charlotte gets out, her words coming out rushed from her excitement. The joy is all over her face, and it makes my body heat and my chest feel tight again.
“That was a laugh, right?” I ask. My heart completely soars because I swear I just heard my daughter laugh for the first time.
Charlotte nods, and I can’t help but think how absolutely beautiful she is in this moment. Her eyes are bright and crinkle at the sides, thanks to her wide smile, and I’m so happy that I get to share this special moment with her. There’s nobody else I’d rather share it with.
“Yes. That was definitely a laugh.” Charlotte huffs out a quiet laugh herself, her gaze focused on me.
I don’t know how long we stand there and stare at one another. We both wear the biggest smiles, and my hands are still on the small of her waist. Our shoulders rise and fall in quick succession, her inhales happening at the same time as my exhales.
Time seems to stand still, and not for the first time, all I can think about is kissing Charlotte. I don’t know if I’m relieved that Ava is between us or not. If she weren’t in the middle, I don’t know if I’d be able to resist leaning in and pressing my lips to Charlotte’s.
It’s harder and harder to fight my attraction to her, especially after a moment like this. A moment where I’m so grateful to be going through this season of life with her. My feelings for her grow deeper by the day, and it’s getting harder to not want more.
I don’t want to ruin the friendship Charlotte and I share.
It’s important to me. One of the most important relationships I’ve ever had.
But I also can’t imagine just being her friend for the rest of my life.
Not when the smile she gives me lights up my entire world.
Not when it seems like all I can think about these days is her.
“It was me who made her laugh,” Charlotte points out, tearing me from my thoughts. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as she looks up at me through her eyelashes. If only she knew what she was doing by looking at me like that. How could I not develop feelings for her?
I shake my head. “Not a chance. She wasn’t laughing until I joined in. It was all me.”
“Sure it was.”
I lift a brow at her sassy tone. “Sure it was?” My grip on her waist gets tighter as I mock the way she talks to me. I squeeze her sides, my heart soaring at the loud laugh she lets out.
“Jude! I’m holding your daughter. Don’t tickle me.”
I lean in, causing my nose to brush against Charlotte’s cheek as I continue to squeeze her sides. “Hold on tight, Char.”
Charlotte’s laughter is so loud that I can’t help but laugh along with her. She squirms to avoid me, but it’s no use. She can’t get away from me.
I don’t know if it’s my laugh or Charlotte’s laugh, or maybe it’s a combination of the two, but Ava lets out another deep belly laugh.
The three of us fall into a fit of laughter in the middle of my kitchen, and it’s one of those moments I never want to forget.
Me.
Ava.
Charlotte.
Just the three of us.
The perfect moment with my perfect girls.