Chapter 37 Jude
THIRTY-SEVEN
JUDE
Ava’s been asleep for over two hours, which has me hopeful that tonight might not have to be a night we go for a drive to keep her that way.
I’m so excited about the fact that Ava’s actually sleeping in her crib without needing to be driven around that I feel like I should tell Charlotte the sleep training might be working.
I make my way to her room, trying not to read into why she hasn’t left her room since we spoke in my office.
She said good night to Ava, but I figured that after she spoke with her family and changed from work, she’d come back out.
She never did, not even to eat. I know because I sat in the kitchen waiting for her.
The more time that passed by, the more I worried that maybe she was avoiding me.
Maybe calling it a date was too much.
I couldn’t help it. The words slipped out, and even after I said them, I didn’t regret it. But even so, the fact that she hasn’t come out tonight after I held her hand in the office and called our plans a date has me worried.
I quietly walk to her room. Maybe she fell asleep early. Or maybe she’s avoiding me. Either way, I’m using the guise of telling her about Ava’s great job sleeping as an excuse to check in on her.
Before I get to her door, I double-check that Ava is still down before sliding the monitor back into my pocket and lifting my hand to knock. My knuckles are about to hit the wooden door when a noise makes me pause.
My entire body freezes.
Was that a moan?
My heart rate accelerates at the idea, and I think I must have imagined it when I hear another one, this one louder and longer.
Blood immediately goes to my cock. Hearing her moan like that has my entire body heated.
Is she touching herself? Fuck, I’d give anything to see that.
I stifle a groan at the mental picture. I couldn’t pinpoint what the soft humming noise was, but now, paired with her moans, I guarantee that’s the sound of a vibrator.
I’ve never been so turned on in my life. I run my palm over my cock to get some sort of relief as I imagine what she must look like on the other side of the door.
I want to go in there. I need to, and I know I have no right feeling that way.
I’m crossing so many fucking lines just by standing here and eavesdropping on what is clearly a moment she’s taking for herself, but I can’t move.
It’s like she’s a magnet, and instead of pulling away like I should, I’m being drawn to her.
I’m sure she’d be furious to find me standing here, but even knowing that, I can’t move.
I flex my jaw, the movement so intense that I can hear my teeth grinding. It’s taking every ounce of my restraint to not push the door open.
I need to go.
I need to back away and go back to my side of the house and stay there.
If I open the door, there’s no going back.
I won’t be able to stop myself from going after what I want—her.
I won’t be able to tell myself that it’s better if we never cross the line.
I still have no idea what she wants or how she feels about me, and the best choice for everyone would be for me to leave.
I’ll leave.
I’m about to back away and leave her alone, because I’m trying really hard not to break the rules we put in place, and I’m clearly not thinking straight…when I hear another moan.
“Jude.” My name comes out like a damn plea. And every bit of self-control I had is gone. She said my fucking name while touching herself, and the knowledge has my entire body ablaze.
I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I grab the handle of her door and push it open slowly, making sure I stay quiet while doing so.
The scene in front of me makes me lightheaded.
Charlotte is lying on her bed, her head resting against the pillow as the comforter moves up and down where she plays with her pussy.
She’s never looked as beautiful as she does right now.
Wet hair sticks to her face, making me wonder if maybe she was in the shower before deciding to get herself off.
Even in the darkness of the room, I can tell that her cheeks are flushed.
“Oh my God,” she mutters, and it’s so fucking sexy that I can’t help but run my hand over my length again.
I wish I knew what she was picturing right now.
Is she thinking about me fingering her? Fucking her?
Worshipping her pussy with my tongue the way I’ve dreamed of doing too many times to count?
Whatever it is, I know I could make it better than whatever she’s imagining.
If she just gave me the chance, I know I could give her one orgasm after the next—each one better than the last.
I watch her closely, committing to memory every single thing she does so I know how to do it better. Now that I’ve seen her like this—heard my name fall from her lips—there’s no going back. I don’t care that I told her we’d just be friends. I don’t care about how complicated things will be.
All I care about is her letting me give her the real thing and making her feel good.
Nothing else matters.
Her movements under the comforter pick up. She gets faster, and I’d give anything to rip the comforter away so I could see the way she fucks herself with the toy.
She lets out small moans and whimpers that have my cock aching for some sort of relief. I feel dizzy from being so turned on. My head spins because I’m so desperate for her.
Char’s hand dances along her skin until she pinches her nipple between two fingers.
I imagine taking that nipple into my mouth. I want to bite and suck and bite and suck some more until she’s begging me for more. How much could I turn her on just by playing with her nipples?
I’m hard as a fucking rock imagining it.
The comforter slips down her body, and now I have a view of her perfect, round tits. She continues to play with her nipple as her hand underneath the comforter moves faster and faster.
I’m stuck in a trance.
Watching her like this is both the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen and the most tortured I’ve ever felt. I want to watch her come undone, but at the same time, I want to be the one to make her fall over the edge.
“Jude.” This time, my name is said so loudly that I can’t not react. She’s fucking herself with a vibrator, thinking of me, and that seems permission enough to let my presence be known.
I push the door open, and for a few seconds, the only thing I can hear is the sound of my own beating pulse.
I grip the doorframe so tightly that my nails might bite into the wood.
I couldn’t care less. All I can do is stare at her, anxious to find out what happens next.
Letting her know I’m here instead of backing away and pretending this never happened is something we can’t come back from.
This isn’t us just kissing briefly or stolen touches—this is full-blown lust and pure, hot need that will be hard to move on from.
Charlotte’s eyes pop open, and her entire body stills as her eyes meet mine.
I fight the urge to tell her she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. My every thought seems to be consumed by her, and I’ve never wanted something more than I want her.
Her only movement is the quick rise and fall of her chest as she stares at me.
She blinks, as if she’s trying to figure out if she’s imagining me or not.
I run my hand up and down my length through the fabric of my pants, needing some sort of relief from how much she’s turned me on without even realizing it.
I swallow, knowing my next words could change everything between us.
I don’t care if things change. I want them to.
I can’t go on wanting her like this and pretending I don’t.
I need her more than I’ve ever needed anything in my life, and I’m over pretending otherwise.
Something’s snapped inside me, and all I can do is hope that with my next words, she doesn’t push me away.
“If you’re going to come thinking of me, the least you could do is let me be the one to do it.” My words come out thick and raspy. I let the weight of them linger between us, my gaze focused on her as I wait for her response.
I continue to brush up and down my cock. Everything hurts from how turned on I am. Even stroking myself through the fabric of my pants isn’t enough to dull the ache.
“Jude,” she whispers, blinking again as if she’s still trying to figure out if I’m here or not. She’s completely still as she stares back at me in shock. “What are you doing here?”
My hand drops from the doorframe as I take a step inside her room. I pull the door closed behind me as I pay close attention to her reaction. If it feels like she wants me to leave, I’ll go, but I hope that isn’t the case.
I hope she lets me finish her off. I know by the pants and moans she was letting out that she was close to coming. I only hope that she doesn’t stop whatever’s happening between us, and she’ll let me finish the job for her.
I take another step toward her. “Were you touching yourself while thinking of me?”
Her eyes go wide. “Jude.” My name comes out like a pant. It’s so sexy that my cock jerks just at the sound of my name coming from her mouth.
“I’m right here, sweetheart,” I respond, continuing to close the distance between us until I’m standing at the foot of her bed. “Now, tell me if you were thinking about me.”
I don’t know how long it stays silent between us. The only sound is the buzzing of her vibrator that I can’t see. There’s still a bulge in the comforter from where she holds her hand, and it’s still right above her pussy, meaning she hasn’t moved the vibrator from where she was fucking herself.
The realization sends a shiver down my spine. Everything about this moment is so fucking hot that I can barely take it. I might combust at any minute.
Charlotte closes her eyes for a minute. I use it as an opportunity to trail my gaze along the bare skin not hidden by the comforter.
Up close, I find that her nipples are hard and pink, the peaks begging for my touch—or maybe even my mouth. Even her chest has a perfect pink flush to it, the color something I can only see because of the light that filters out from the bathroom.
I trace over her ribs and her stomach, wishing that the comforter weren’t resting right underneath her belly button so I could see even more of her. I take my time letting my eyes return to her face. When our gazes finally meet, I find her staring back at me expectantly.
“Tell me to leave,” I rasp. It takes every fiber in my being to get the words out. I don’t want to leave. I want to stay right here and finish what she started, but I know I’ve walked in on her, and I need to give her the chance to stop this if she doesn’t want anything to happen.
“Why?”
“Because if you don’t tell me to leave, then I’m going to crawl into this bed with you and show you how much better I am at making you come.”