Chapter 20 Emily
EMILY
I’d just finished stirring the dinner in the slow cooker when an engine purred in the driveway.
Natascha.
I set the spoon down and headed for the front door, a little faster than necessary. I was beyond curious to meet Cam’s ex-wife.
The white Range Rover gleamed in the late afternoon sun, so pristine it looked like it had just rolled off a showroom floor. Natascha was already out of the driver’s seat, her phone pressed to her ear as she opened the back door with one hand.
Okay, yeah, she was just as gorgeous as I’d expected. Very polished. Very well put together.
“No, I totally get that, but the engagement rates are what really matter,” she was saying, her voice carrying across the yard. “Views are great, but if they’re not converting to follows or clicks, then what’s the point?”
I stopped at the edge of the porch as she helped Audrey out of the car, then Alice.
Woah, that was a lot of makeup for two little girls. And those dresses were ridiculous.
From the expressions on their faces, Audrey and Alice agreed with me. Two little matching thunderclouds who were far from happy.
They looked like tiny beauty pageant contestants, and the sight of it made something ugly twist inside me.
“I know, right?” Natascha was still on her phone, adjusting Alice’s dress with one hand. “Anyway, babe, I have to run. Dropping the girls off. Love you, mean it.”
She ended the call and glanced up, her eyes landing on me for the first time.
Her whole face transformed.
“Oh my GOD.” She walked towards me, her heels clicking against the concrete. “Hi! You must be the babysitter!”
“Emily,” I managed, trying to smile. “Nice to meet you.”
“Natascha.” She was close now, too close, her eyes scanning my face with an intensity that made my skin crawl. “Wow. WOW. Your bone structure is insane. Like, you could literally be a model. Have you ever thought about it?”
“Oh, um, well, I—”
“No, seriously, you’re stunning.” She was circling me now, actually circling me like I was a project she was assessing. “Very natural, very clean girl aesthetic. That’s so in right now. The no makeup look? You’re literally living it.”
I looked past her at the girls. Alice was tugging at her collar, while Audrey had her arms crossed, her jaw set in that stubborn way that meant she was not happy.
“What’s your Instagram?” Natascha pulled out her phone, already swiping. “I need to follow you. Oh! We could do a collab! My followers would die over you. I could totally help you build your platform.”
“I don’t really... I’m not on Instagram much.”
Her head snapped up, eyes wide with genuine shock.
“What? But with your looks, that’s like.
.. such a waste!” She was typing now, rapid fire.
“Here, let me give you my handle. I have three hundred and forty thousand followers. I do lifestyle content, mommy influencing, beauty, fashion.” She looked up, her smile bright and plastic.
“I could introduce you to my photographer, my injector. Not that you need it, but preventative Botox is key, trust me.”
“That’s really kind of you, but—”
“Just one quick pic for the gram!” She was already moving beside me, holding up her phone at that practiced selfie angle. “My followers need to see this face!”
“I should really get the girls inside.” I stepped back, putting distance between us and her camera before she could take the picture. “They probably want to get changed and have dinner.”
“Oh. Right.” She lowered her phone, slightly deflated. Then she turned toward the girls, her smile snapping back into place. “Okay, babies! Come give Mommy kisses!”
She crouched down, her arms open, and both girls trudged over. The goodbye kisses were careful, precise. Air kisses that didn’t actually make contact, probably to avoid smudging Natascha’s lipstick.
She smoothed down Alice’s dress. “You both look so beautiful today.”
“Bye, Mommy,” they chorused, their voices flat.
“Love you, love you!” She blew them more kisses as she moved toward her car, already pulling out her phone again. “Emily, so nice to meet you! Let me know if you change your mind about that collab!”
Then she was in her car, talking on her phone before she’d even started the engine. She backed out of the driveway, her attention already somewhere else entirely.
The three of us stood there in the sudden silence.
“Well,” I said finally. “That was—”
“Can we take this off now?” Audrey’s voice was small, her fingers pulling at the ribbon in her hair. “It’s itchy.”
“I hate this makeup,” Alice announced. “It tastes yuck.”
“Let’s get you guys inside and cleaned up. Sound good?”
They both nodded, relief washing over their faces.
I ushered them into the house, closing the door firmly behind us. They were both quiet as I led them upstairs.
My chest was tight. Too tight. The feeling was familiar, almost overwhelming. I felt it in my bones. The pressure to be pretty on command. The way it made you feel like a doll instead of a person.
In the bathroom, I grabbed a fresh washcloth from the cabinet and ran it under warm water. Alice climbed up on the step stool. I turned her to face me, dabbing carefully at her cheek.
The makeup was water based. Thank fuck.
Doing my best to keep my voice normal, I said, “So after dinner, what do you think about watching a movie?”
“Yes, please!” Alice went to jump, nearly toppling off the stool.
That made me laugh softly. “Keep still, or you’ll fall off.” Two more wipes with the cloth and she was done. “Alright, Audrey. You’re up.”
Once Audrey was done, we headed to their bedroom to get changed into their pajamas. “You know what I think?”
“What?” They both looked up at me, faces makeup free and hopeful.
“I think we should have a cozy night. Like, the coziest.” I pulled out my phone. “Give me one second.”
I fired off a text to Maya:
SOS. Need you to bring my bunny onesie. The soft one. ASAP.
Her response came back almost immediately:
On it. Come to the gate in one minute.
“What are you doing?” Audrey asked, curiosity replacing the lingering unhappiness in her expression.
“Making tonight more fun.” I grinned at them. “How would you guys feel about having dinner in your onesies? Like, the full cozy experience?”
“Really?” Alice’s eyes went wide.
“Why not? It’s just us. We can be as comfy as we want.”
“YES!” They both scrambled for their drawers, pulling out their favorite suits. Audrey had a purple unicorn one, Alice a pink dinosaur.
While they were getting changed, I slipped out the back door and crossed to the fence. Maya was already there.
“You’re a lifesaver,” I said, taking my onesie from her.
“You owe me an explanation later.” She was grinning. “But whatever you’re doing over there, have fun.”
“Will do. Thanks, Maya.”
I returned to find both girls almost shaking with anticipation.
I changed in the bathroom, the soft fabric immediately making me feel better. When I emerged, both girls gasped.
“A bunny rabbit!” Audrey exclaimed, clearly impressed.
“You look so cute!” Alice ran over, rubbing her hand on my arm.
“Thank you! Okay, dinner time. Everyone to the table.”
Back downstairs, I served up the pot roast Cam had left, and we all settled around the kitchen table in our ridiculous getups. The girls were giggling now, completely transformed from the unhappy little things who’d arrived half an hour ago.
“This is the best dinner ever,” Audrey declared through a mouthful of potato.
“Even better than pancakes?” I teased.
She considered this seriously. “Maybe tied with pancakes.”
After dinner, we piled onto the couch with blankets and pillows. I pulled up a movie on the TV and the girls snuggled in on either side of me, warm and content.
In no time at all, Alice’s head grew heavy on my shoulder. Audrey had her feet tucked under her, completely relaxed.
This. This was what they needed. Not photo shoots and makeup and performing for cameras. Just this. Comfort and safety and being allowed to be kids.
I sat there in my bunny onesie with a little girl on each side. Something shifted inside me. Something I was in no way ready to name, so instead, I snuggled further under the blanket.
The movie played on, soft voices and gentle music filling the quiet living room. My own eyes were getting heavy now, the warmth and comfort of the moment pulling me under.
Just for a minute, I told myself. I’d just rest my eyes for a minute.