Chapter 21
CAM
Idragged myself up the porch steps, each one a reminder that I’d been on my feet for hours. My shoulders ached from hauling furniture up three flights of stairs in a building with a broken elevator. My back was screaming. All I wanted was a beer and my bed.
The knowledge that Emily was inside made my pulse kick up despite the exhaustion.
Pathetic. I was absolutely pathetic.
I pushed open the door as quietly as I could, not wanting to wake the girls if they were already down. The living room was dimly lit, just the glow from the TV casting shadows across the walls.
My breath caught in my throat.
Emily and my girls, sprawled across the sofa, sound asleep. Alice was curled up on Emily’s left, Audrey on her right, her head pillowed on Emily’s shoulder. Her purple unicorn onesie was twisted around her legs like she’d been fighting with it in her sleep.
Emily’s arms had fallen naturally around both of them, holding them close even in sleep.
It was the bunny onesie that hit me hardest. A bunny onesie. Complete with floppy ears attached to the hood.
My heart lurched. This was... I didn’t know what the fuck this was.
I shook my head slightly, forcing my body into motion. I moved closer, my footsteps careful and quiet on the hardwood. Crouched down beside the couch so I was at their level.
“Emily,” I said, pitching my voice low.
Nothing. None of them stirred.
“Emily,” I tried again, a little louder.
Her nose scrunched up and she made a small sound, something between a sigh and a grumble. Then her eyes fluttered open, unfocused and confused.
“Cam?” Her voice was thick with sleep, rough in a way that skittered across my skin, making my blood warm.
“Yeah. Sorry to wake you.” I kept my voice low, not wanting to disturb the girls. “I just got home.”
She blinked a few times before registering where she was. What she was wearing. Who was sleeping on her. Her cheeks flushed pink. Christ, she was gorgeous.
“Oh god,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. We were watching a movie and they were so tired and I thought I’d just rest my eyes for a minute.”
“It’s fine.” I couldn’t stop staring at her. “How long have you guys been out?”
“I don’t know. What time is it?”
“Almost ten.”
“Wow.” She glanced down at the girls, her expression softening. “They went down around eight. I must have crashed right after.”
Alice shifted again, snuggling closer to Emily. The movement seemed to wake Audrey, whose eyes cracked open.
“Daddy?” Her voice was muzzy with sleep.
“Hey, monster. Time for bed.”
“M’tired.”
“I know. Come on.”
I scooped her up easily, her head dropping to my shoulder. She was already drifting back off before I’d straightened up.
Emily carefully extracted herself from under Alice, who barely stirred. “I’ll get her.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
She lifted Alice easily and pushed to her feet, rubbing Alice’s back when her arms went around her neck automatically, her face pressed into Emily’s shoulder.
We made our way upstairs and down the hall to the girl’s room in silence. I laid Audrey in her bed, tucking the covers around her. Across the room, Emily was doing the same with Alice, her movements gentle and sure.
The only light came from the nightlight plugged in near the door, casting everything in muted shadows.
Emily wearing the bunny onesie was really something. The ears hung limply to one side and her hair was mussed from sleep. She looked absolutely ridiculous.
And absolutely perfect.
It made me want to…
Don’t do that.
Dragging in a breath, I gestured to the door, doing my absolute best not to check out Emily’s ass as I followed her downstairs.
In the kitchen, Emily moved to the stove where the crock pot sat. “Take a seat. I’ll grab you some dinner.”
“You don’t need to serve me.”
“Don’t argue with me.”
Her bossy tone made my lips twitch as I pulled out a chair and dropped into it, my muscles immediately grateful for the reprieve.
She ladled the pot roast into the bowl, the steam rising up. The smell hit me and my stomach growled.
“When did you last eat?” She set the bowl in front of me, along with a fork.
“Breakfast burrito in the truck on the way to the job.”
She shook her head, settling into the chair across from me and gestured to the bowl. “Eat.”
I did as I was told, taking a bite. “Mmm, thanks. This is great.”
She smiled. “Thank yourself. You made it.”
“Fuck, I did too.”
“I guess you’re really tired.”
“Yeah.” I ate another forkful, then, “How did it go today?”
“It was good. We had fun.”
I caught the edge in her voice. “But?”
“But nothing. The girls were great.”
“Emily.”
She hesitated for a moment, considering her words.
“Whatever you’re thinking, you can tell me.”
“Okay, here goes. I met Natascha today.”
Tension oozed into my system. “Right.”
“She is… quite something.”
“She is.”
There was a long moment of silence while Emily looked down at her hands, picking at her nail.
“Did something happen that I should know about?”
Her eyes flicked to mine, then away. “No, not specifically.”
“Not specifically. How about unspecifically? You’re stressing me out a bit, Em. Please just be straight with me.”
Her shoulders rose and fell as she dragged in air. “I don’t want to overstep, so please stop me if I’m out of line.”
She was being so careful, so cautious, that I relaxed a little. “Go ahead.”
She pulled in another breath, seemingly bracing herself. “So, um, I got the vibe that you’re not a huge fan of the girls wearing make-up.”
“That’s right.”
“Well, um, I guess Natascha is, uh, really pro make up for the girls.”
“She is.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I fucking hate it.”
“I see. I got the sense today that the girls really didn’t like it either. They seemed pretty upset when she dropped them off.” Something flared in her eyes, too quick for me to catch.
The penny dropped. “That’s the reason for the onesie party.”
“Yes.”
I blew out a breath, more grateful than she would ever know. “Thank you.”
“No problem, it was fun.”
“It worries me.” Fuck, I did not expect to say that.
“What does?”
Well, I was in now, may as well go all the way. “The make-up, the dresses, the social media. I don’t think it’s good for the girls, but…”
Emily’s expression was calm, open. “But?”
I rubbed my eyes, exhaustion pulling at me.
“I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being too rigid about it. Or if I’m projecting my issues with Natascha onto normal stuff. Maybe a little makeup doesn’t matter.”
“Is that what you really think?”
“I think...” I stopped, trying to find the words.
“I think they’re seven and five. I think they should be allowed to just be kids without worrying about angles and lighting and whether their smile looks genuine enough for social media and that they shouldn’t have to perform for an audience they don’t even understand.
” My fingers curled on the table. “But then I wonder if I’m being too controlling. Fuck, it makes me crazy.”
Emily was quiet for a moment, studying me. Then she leaned forward, her voice low but certain. “You’re not crazy. And you’re not being controlling. You’re being a good dad.”
Before I could think of a reply, my phone buzzed in my pocket, loud and insistent in the quiet kitchen.
We both jumped.
I pulled it out. Natascha. Of course. My jaw tightened.
I answered, my eyes still on Emily. “Yeah?”
“Cam, hi!” Her voice was bright, cheerful. “I’m so sorry to bother you this late, but I just realized I forgot to send you the girls’ schedule for next week. I have that brand trip to Miami and—”
This was one conversation I did not have the fucking energy for. “Can this wait until morning?”
“Oh.” A pause. “I mean, I guess? I just wanted to make sure you had it in case you needed to arrange coverage.”
“I’ll handle it. Goodnight, Natascha.”
I hung up before she could respond, tossing my phone onto the table with more force than necessary. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. I should go so you can get some rest.”
“Okay.”
I followed her to the front door, wishing the night didn’t have to end.
She pulled the door open, then turned back to me. I opened my mouth to say something, though I had no idea what. My brain had turned to mush somewhere between the sight of her in that ridiculous bunny onesie and now.
“Thank you,” I managed. “For today. For all of it.”
“You’re welcome.”
The words were simple, but the way she looked at me when she said them wasn’t. Her brown eyes held mine, warm and soft in the dim light from the porch. I couldn’t look away. Didn’t want to look away.
The air between us thickened. My skin prickled. Her lips parted slightly, like she might say something else. My gaze dropped to her mouth before I could stop myself.
She blinked first, breaking whatever spell had wrapped around us. A small smile curved her lips, genuine and a little shy.
“Goodnight, Cam.”
The way she said my name, all breathy and quiet, did things to me that had no business happening on my front porch at ten thirty at night.
“Goodnight, Emily.”
God, I wanted, so much, to ask her to stay. Instead, my gaze followed her down the steps, those ridiculous bunny ears bouncing with each movement.
I waited until she disappeared across her yard, then closed the door carefully.