32. Cassidy
CASSIDY
T he day after lunch with the girls, I pulled up to Harle’s cabin, the engine idling as I gripped the steering wheel tight, my knuckles turning white. I didn’t move to get out right away. I wasn’t sure I could. The ache in my chest was heavy, a kind of sadness that felt impossible to shake off. Today had been hard. Much harder than I’d expected. And as I sat there, staring at the cabin, I wondered if Harle would notice. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to or not.
It was kinda weird how this anniversary had crept up on me. Too distracted, I guess. Or I’d naively thought I was through the worst of it.I straightened and turned off the engine. My movements were stiff as I slowly opened the car door, stepping out into the fading evening light.
I walked up to the house, my feet dragging slightly. Fuck, I was a mess.
Pushing open the door, I saw Harle in the kitchen, his back to me as he stirred something on the stove.
Buddy let out a low, welcoming bark, letting Harle know I was there.He turned, giving me one of those warm, easy smiles that made my heart skip. “Hey there. Dinner’s not far off. You want to get comfortable?”
I nodded and headed straight to the bedroom.
The sight of the black nightgown he’d laid out on the bed pulled at something deep inside me and I had to blink back tears.
Imagine if I was a different person. If I was a person who’d never met Brian. Married Brian. Been torn to pieces by Brian. I could have enjoyed all of this so much more without all the fucking angst.
I swallowed hard, feeling my eyes sting as I changed out of my work clothes and into the nightgown. It was longer than the others, hitting mid thigh, but it was pretty sheer, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. In other circumstances, I would have smiled, picturing him picking this out for me. But not tonight.I took a moment, drawing in a shaky breath before heading back out to the kitchen. Harle was still focused on whatever he was cooking. I wasn’t really sure what to do with myself.
“Do you need any help with that?”
“No, all good. Just get yourself a drink and take a seat. It’ll be about fifteen minutes.”
“Okay.”
I grabbed a soda from the fridge and made my way to the dining room table, sinking into one of the chairs. Buddy followed, his heavy body leaning against my leg as I absentmindedly patted his head. His presence was comforting, but it didn’t do much to lift the heaviness I felt. I flicked a glance at Harle, only to find his eyes on me. Fuck.
“You okay, darlin’?”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him again, couldn’t risk it.“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Hmm.” His tone was gentle but unconvinced. “I don’t think that’s true.”
I shrugged, still not looking at him. “Just a shitty anniversary that snuck up on me. No big deal.”
“Yeah? I’ve got one of those coming up. They suck.”
“They do.”
The kitchen fell quiet except for the soft bubbling of whatever was on the stove. Harle’s movements were deliberate as he chopped vegetables, the steady rhythm of the knife against the cutting board almost hypnotic. After a while, he set down his knife.
“Actually, I could do with a hand over here, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, sure.”
I got up, patting Buddy one last time before crossing over to the kitchen. Harle handed me a wooden spoon and gestured to the pot on the stove. “Just keep stirring this, nice and slow. I need to finish up these vegetables.”
I took the spoon, the steam rising from the pot carrying the scent of some sort of tomato-based sauce, maybe with a bit of spice. I glanced at him, my eyebrows lifting. “You sure you’re not just giving me busy work?”
He shot me a knowing smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Maybe. But I figured it might help.”
I huffed a soft laugh, shaking my head as I stirred the sauce. He wasn’t wrong, I guess. It was kind of nice, having something to do with my hands. Something simple, something that required just enough focus to push out the heavier thoughts.
“Alright, that’s good.” He leaned against the counter, his hands in his pockets. “You can put the lid back on now.”
I did as he asked, placing the lid carefully on the pot and turning back to him, biting my lip, unsure what to do next. Stay here? Go back to the table? Run away? I folded my arms across my middle protectively.
Feeling his gaze on me, I risked another glance. Oh god, the understanding in his eyes nearly undid me. He reached out, running his knuckles gently down my cheek. “I know you’re not much of a hugger, but I’ve got a question for you?”
“What’s that?”
“Maybe you could consider being a huggee for a little while?”
I hesitated for a moment. There was a part of me that wanted to say no, to just brush it off and put distance between us. But instead, I nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
Slowly, he slid his hands under my elbows. Widening his stance, he pulled me forward until I was standing between his feet. Then he wrapped his arms around me, his warmth surrounding me like a shield. Even then, I couldn’t relax, standing there as stiff as a board with my face pressed against his chest. I had to fight the instinct to pull away. God, I was so fucked up.
But his hand rubbed soft circles on my back, and I felt myself relax, if only a little.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. His voice was a low rumble against my ear. “Just a few moments longer, I promise.”
That actually made me smile. As the seconds ticked by, I felt the tension in my shoulders start to ease. Harle’s steady heartbeat thrummed against my cheek, and his scent filled my head. Slowly, almost without realizing it, I uncrossed my arms. My hands found their way to his sides, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. I let out a shaky breath, the ache in my chest starting to ease. For the first time today, I felt like I could actually breathe properly.
Harle’s hand moved to the back of my head, cradling it gently. His other arm tightened around my waist, pulling me closer. I melted into him, allowing myself to be held, to be comforted.
I closed my eyes, letting the tension drain away, the weight of the day slowly starting to lift. I loved the sound of his heart beating, steady and strong, and I let myself lean into it, soaking in his warmth.
After what felt like an eternity, Harle leaned back and crooked his finger under my chin, lifting my face to his. He gave me an unnervingly searching gaze before pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
I laughed softly. “No, it was quite nice, actually.”
“Glad you think so.”
“It’s just…”
“More overthinking is what it is, but go ahead and tell me.”
“I don’t know, I’m just confused.”
“What about?”
“That you hug me to just hug me. I’m sort of expecting it to lead to sex and when it doesn’t, I don’t know what you’re doing. Like just now. And yesterday morning.”
“I’m just hugging you because you smell nice and you feel good. It’s not more complicated than that.”
“Oh. Right.”
“So, we’re good?”
“Yep.”
He smiled, brushing a thumb across my cheek before stepping back, giving me the space I suddenly needed. “Good. Now, how about we get this dinner finished up?”
After dinner, we cleaned up the kitchen. I rinsed the dishes, handing them to Harle to load into the dishwasher. Except for the fact that I was wearing a see-through nightgown, and I was here for one very specific purpose, we felt like a normal couple, just hanging out after work. That did weird things to my insides, so I pushed the idea away. More like shoved, you could say.
Once the dishes were done, Harle nodded toward the living room. “You wanna watch a movie?”
“Great idea.”
“What are you in the mood for?” He grabbed the remote control and turned the television on, navigating to the index of movies.
Flopping down on the couch, I grabbed a cushion and hugged it to my chest. “Nothing sappy. Or sad. And no romcoms, because they’re bleurgh.”
“They’re what?”
“Bleurgh.”
“I could watch you make that face a hundred times and still think it’s funny.”
I laughed. “Well, I’m not going to do it again, sorry to disappoint. I like action movies, if you must know.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Yeah. All the crashing and blowing shit up really does it for me.”
“Okay then, one action movie coming right up.”
Grabbing the throw rug from the armchair, he sat down next to me and propped his feet on the coffee table.
As the opening credits started to roll, he raised his arm, inviting me to scoot closer. I hesitated for a moment. Because you smell nice and you feel good. It’s not more complicated than that. I shifted over, snuggling in and resting my head on his shoulder. He arranged the rug over both of us, then dropped his arm over my shoulders and pressed a kiss into my hair.
“Comfortable?”
“Very.”
As the movie started, I let myself relax. For once, I didn’t overthink it. I just let myself be there, in the moment, with him.
The movie thundered on with its explosions and car chases, but honestly? I barely noticed. I was too caught up in how perfectly I fit against Harle’s side, his arm a warm weight around my shoulders. Who knew snuggling could be this nice? Thirty years old and I’d never really done this before. Pathetic? Maybe. But right now, wrapped in this cocoon of warmth, I couldn’t bring myself to care.
As the movie wore on, my eyelids grew heavier, the action scenes blurring together as I drifted in and out. The next thing I knew, the credits were rolling, and Harle was moving beside me. Before I could protest the loss of warmth, he slipped one arm under my knees and the other behind my back, lifting me like I weighed nothing.
My stomach did a little flip as he stood, but I couldn’t fight the smile spreading across my face. “What do you think you’re doing?” I murmured, not even trying to sound annoyed.
His blue eyes sparkled down at me. “Taking you to bed, darlin’.” Each step was gentle, purposeful, like he was carrying something precious.
Okay, this was amazing. I looped my arms around his neck and let my head fall to his shoulder as he carried me down the hall to his bedroom. Inside, he set me gently down on the bed. “There you go, darlin’.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it. But where do you think you’re going?” Before he could move away, I reached up and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him down to me. The moment our lips met, something shifted in the air between us. His hand came up to cup my face, thumb stroking my cheek while his other arm braced his weight.
I tugged at his shirt, wanting, needing, him closer. He took the hint, settling his weight over me without breaking the kiss. God, the solid warmth of him pressed against me sent electricity dancing across my skin. My hands roamed over his broad shoulders, down his back, feeling the play of muscles beneath my fingertips. When I slid my hands under his shirt, he got the message and pulled it off one-handed.
Then he was back, his weight pressing me into the mattress in the most delicious way. His fingers traced down my side, leaving trails of fire, even through the thin fabric of my nightgown. When his mouth left mine to press hot kisses along my jaw, down my neck, across my collarbone, I couldn’t help the soft sound that escaped me.
He captured my mouth again, deeper this time, more urgent. His hands found the straps of my nightgown, sliding them down my arms until the fabric pooled at my waist. Another tug and it was gone completely. The heat in his eyes as he looked at me made my breath catch.
“You are taking way too long to get undressed.”
His low chuckle sent shivers down my spine. He moved away just long enough to strip, then returned to kiss me senseless. Before I knew it, he rolled me over so I was straddling his waist, our mouths fused together. I guided his hands to my breasts, arching into his touch as his thumbs grazed my nipples.
A gasp tore from my throat at the sensation. Heat pooled low in my belly as I rocked against him, seeking more. His clever fingers kept working their magic until that spark of pleasure grew into an inferno. My head fell back as a moan escaped my lips.
I needed more. Needed him. My hands slid down his chest, over his tight stomach, following that trail of hair lower. His muscles jumped under my touch, a groan rumbling in his chest as I wrapped my hand around his thick, hard cock. I stroked him, learning what made his breath hitch, what made his hips buck.
When his control was about to snap, he gripped my wrist to still my movements. The tremor that ran through him made me feel powerful. Dangerous. Then suddenly I was on my back, his body covering mine, and I was the one trembling.
He lined himself up, pushing inside in one slow thrust that had me crying out. The stretch, the fullness, it was almost too much. Almost. But I didn’t want gentle. Not now.
“Harle, please,” I gasped, rocking my hips.
His eyes locked on mine as he started to move, the intensity of his gaze pinning me in place. Nothing existed outside this moment, this connection between us. When he finally kissed me again, it was wild and deep, matching the rhythm of our bodies.
The pleasure built higher and higher until I shattered, waves of ecstasy washing over me again and again. I clung to him as he followed, his breath hot against my neck as he shuddered through his release.
We lay tangled together, catching our breath, until Harle rolled to his side. Before I could even think about moving away, he pulled me close, tucking me against him. I slipped my arm around his waist and snuggled in completely, falling asleep in seconds.