Chapter Sixteen
“So many people have booked tickets,” Lydia exclaimed when she walked into the shop.
I smiled at her enthusiasm, wishing I shared it. There were only a few days left until the opening night, and although it should’ve been the highlight of the year, I was dreading it. Using the night to lure Brandon to his comeuppance had been my decision and now I was starting to regret it.When Moth had kindly delivered my car back the day before, he’d insisted we come up with a proper plan.
“I'm scared,” I admitted, picking up a full coffee cup and taking it to the lady who sat by the fake volcano.
Lydia waved a hand in dismissal when I came back to the counter. “It'll be fabulous. With Liona in charge of our social media, we've gone viral. It'll be extremely busy.”
“That's what I worry about,” I muttered.
Pausing her cleaning, Lydia stared at me. “Look, girl, you've got everything prepared. We've got a band, some hot guy models and free books. What more do you need?”
Shaking off my nervousness for her sake, I held up the piece of paper that had been sitting on the sales counter. “I also have my licence, which means we can offer dark themed cocktails. Luckily, the barman I've hired is experienced and loves dark romance himself.”
“Gracie is going to be so jealous when I tell her what an amazing night it was.” Lydia came over and put an arm around my shoulders. “And I'm dying to try a cock…tail.”
She laughed and I had to giggle with her. We'd been sharing lewd jokes for days now, when people were out of earshot. I couldn't help but be drawn in by the excitement of the upcoming evening. If I could just get Brandon out of my life for good, I could start to enjoy this place again. His threats had become increasingly difficult to deal with, and since Moth had burst onto the scene, everything was a mess.
“Gracie has so many years of reading ahead of her,” I said, glancing up when the doorbell rang, “and… shit.”
Lydia followed my gaze, looking back to me when the woman who had entered approached us.
“Ceecee. What are you doing here?” My heartbeat pounded in my chest as my old friend came near.
Lydia stepped behind the food counter and busied herself, starting a coffee before going off to clear a table near the front of the shop.
“You shouldn't be here,” I hissed at Ceecee when we were alone. “It's too risky.”
Looking around, Ceecee grinned. “You always said you'd own a bookshop one day. It's amazing.”
I took her arm and pulled her behind the counter. “Why are you here? Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” She took hold of my arms and squeezed. “It's more than okay. I'm pregnant and engaged.”
A smile came unbidden and I resisted the urge to hug her. We were still awkward after all this time, but I was genuinely happy for her.
“You didn't come here just to tell me that, did you?” I looked towards the door. “It wasn't worth the risk. You could've just emailed.”
Ceecee licked her lips and dropped her gaze. “How’s it going? I hate knowing that Moth might hurt you at any point.”
My snort was loud, echoing around us. Ceecee backed up in surprise, her eyes widening. “What is it?”
“Let's just say, Moth and I have a complicated relationship.” I wrapped my arms around myself, stifling the shudder that threatened.
I couldn't let her know that I'd been sleeping with the enemy. However, a part of me wanted to believe that we were no longer enemies. If I kept lying to Moth about what really happened that day, would he find out somehow? And if he did, would he ever forgive me? Probably not.
“Is he still threatening you?” she asked, frowning at me.
“No!” I insisted. “He's helping me with an ex problem actually. He‘s promised that once it's done, we'll go our separate ways, and I'm no longer in danger from him.”
Ceecee’s shoulders relaxed and she sighed. “Thank goodness. I think it's time that we tell him the whole truth. I can't have my guilt hanging over me with my new husband and child.”
My muscles turned to stone, heavy against the wooden floor beneath me. If Ceecee wanted to confess everything, Moth might hold my lies against me. I had told him that it wasn't quite what it seemed, but I didn't want him to make an enemy of Ceecee or report her…. or us… to the police.
“I'm not sure how safe that would be,” I said quietly. “It might open the whole thing up again.”
I reached for her, holding the sleeve of her denim jacket. She stared at the floor, so intent that I didn't notice the tears in her eyes until she looked up again.
“I can't live like this anymore,” she whispered, “especially knowing that you're currently taking the brunt of our mistake. I'm going to be a mother and I need my child to be safe. If Moth was to ever come for me, when the baby’s here, I'd hate myself. I have to protect him from something I did fifteen years ago.”
“Him?” I whispered, looking down when Ceecee pulled her coat tight against her baby bump.
Fucking hell. Seeing the evidence of new life within my friend made it real. She was right. For too long, we'd lived with the burden hanging over our heads. The cops had ruled Jack Baker's death as misadventure. They'd blamed the boys for the fire, thinking that they'd been trying to warm themselves. Not once had they considered another explanation.
“So, you want me to tell Moth the truth?” I frowned, “But he believes that I started the fire. You're not even a suspect on their radar. I don't want to put you and your baby in danger when it's not needed.”
“My mental health won't let me be a good mother if I'm not absolved of this.” Ceecee wrung her hands in front of her. “I don't want to be reported to the police, but I need those guys to know what really happened that day. The whole truth of it. And I need their forgiveness.”
How could I refuse such a sincere request? I'd lived protecting her for so long, I didn't know how it would feel to finally tell the whole truth. If any of the guys wanted justice, they could report us both to the cops and an inquest could be opened.
“What if they go to the police?” I hissed, checking that no one was paying us any attention.
Lydia was talking to the customer about ACOTAR, animatedly expressing her views on the book. I'd forgotten what it was like to read the book for the first time. Oh, if only I could go back to that time, when I got lost in the series. In any series, really. It had been too long since I'd felt safe enough to escape in my books.
“We didn't trap Wasp on purpose or even set the house alight.” She took my hands in hers. “I doubt very much the justice system would be interested in re-opening a case that was concluded fifteen years ago. Come, let's go somewhere and talk… properly. I miss you and need you in my life now that I'm going to be a mother.”
A warmth flooded through me as she looked into my eyes, sincerity shining straight at me. She wanted to know me again, to release the burden we'd both been clinging to for so long.
“Okay,” I said, glancing towards the door when the bell rang.
My blood ran cold as Moth strode in, his helmet on, his leathers creaking and shining from the glare of the sun that flooded through the windows. If Ceecee hadn’t have been there, I would've probably swooned a little.
“There he is,” I muttered, glancing at Ceecee, whose eyes widened.
“Fuck,” she exclaimed. “I wasn't ready to do it now.”
“Do you want to leave out the back?” I pointed to the back door as Lydia greeted Moth, distracting him. “If so, go now.”
She stared at the mysterious figure, who slowly pulled his helmet off. The slight flop of his hair and the sharp cut of his square jaw took my breath away. Being beside my friend, who had known him back when we were young, helped me to see him for who he was… not the complicated man who was slowly messing me up from the inside.
“No,” she muttered, “I feel like I need to get it off my chest now. He won't kill me, will he?”
Her doe eyes looked at me, wide and scared. I shook my head vehemently and released her hands as Moth said goodbye to Lydia and approached the counter, looking between the pair of us.
“Alia,” he muttered a greeting in his gruff tone.
Avoiding his gaze, I nodded in his direction. “Moth. Do you remember Ceecee?”
His forehead creased as he studied her face, a lightbulb clearly going off when his eyebrows lifted. “Yes, I do.”
“Could you join us upstairs?” I asked him, clearing my throat when it closed on my words.
Ha, my dirty mind had gone straight to where I didn't need it to go. Upstairs was not a metaphor for fuck me. Even if my brain twisted it.
Moth didn't even flinch, just nodded an agreement and turned to the stairs. I took Ceecee’s hand and squeezed, releasing her as I followed my frenemy, hoping that she'd come too, which she did.
Moth tried to open the club door at the top of the stairs. I paused, glancing into the contemp romance room to see if it was free. No, there were a couple of women reading, their heads so buried, they didn't even notice me.
Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the club door and let them in. There was something vulnerable about showing my old friend my new obsession… not just Moth, but the dark romance too. Would she see me in a different light and not want me near her baby? As much as I'd hope we wouldn't judge one another, I knew that a lot of people didn't understand this side of most women.
“Wow,” Ceecee exclaimed as we came into the club.
She looked around, searching the room until she'd taken it all in. It was dark with the UV lights on. One masked man was painted on the bookshelf where it was closed, the other was open, revealing dark spines and the white titles that reflected in the light.
“What is this place?” Ceecee went to the nearest shelf and bent forward to read some of the titles of the books.
The corner of Moth's lip quirked into his cheek. “Surely you know about Alia's kinky side? You've been friends for years.”
Ceecee stood up straight and turned towards us abruptly. I shuffled on my feet and tucked my hair behind my ear, drawing Moth's attention.
“That's why I asked you up here,” I started, “we have a confession to make and you might not like it.”
His forehead, which was already creased broodily, furrowed even further. “What is it?” he asked cautiously.
I swallowed and licked my lips, looking to Ceecee for some backup. I wasn't sure how to tell him that I'd lied about that fateful day. She came to stand next to me, her hand resting on the bump of her stomach.
“Well,” I started when she stayed silent, “I didn't tell you the whole truth about the day that…” I couldn't bring myself to say it. “…The fire. I… well, it-”
“It was me,” Ceecee blurted, tears brimming in her eyes. “I was the one who started the fire. I was so petrified of being sent to prison, Alia took the blame for me…”
Blinking slowly, I sucked back the tears that tried to push their way out. “She was just being my friend,” I explained when Moth glared. “She'd sat with me while I cried all afternoon on photo day. We hatched our plan to follow you home and scare you. We never imagined you'd live alone, without parents. You know this, I have told you. The only thing I left out was that Ceecee was there with me and she was the one who decided to actually light the fire.”
“Alia had nothing to do with the fire,” Ceecee said, “that was all me. I just didn't think and I certainly had no idea it could spread to the house.”
Moth's hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his jaw tighter than a stretched elastic band. He'd either lose it and give in to his need to exact revenge or keep to his word. He’d promised me that he would absolve me of my stupidity. I just hoped that he would do as he'd said.
“We decided to stop being friends,” I said, glancing at the girl who I'd shared crushes, heartaches and puberty with. “And haven't really spoken until recently, when you came back into my life. I had to warn her and now…”
I pointed at her stomach, where she still cradled the growing child inside of her.
“I'm pregnant,” she announced, “and I need you to forgive me so that I can be the best parent to my child. I… we…” She stepped closer to me and took my hand. “…never meant to hurt any of you that day. We just wanted to play a prank and get you told off by your parents. It was never anything more than that.”
His thick chest rose and fell as he turned away from us and paced to the UV image of the masked man. He stood in front of it, staring off as if he were no longer in the room with us.
“Please,” I said quietly, “say something.”
“I'm sorry,” Ceecee added. “I had a major crush on Wasp, surely you remember that? It broke me, knowing that I’d caused his death.”
Moth went completely still, only turning stiffly a few moments after her statement. “Your revenge plot went a little too far.”
“Exactly.” I nodded. “No one was meant to get hurt and that's what we need you to understand. Sometimes, people do shit to others deliberately, and yes, that's when revenge is best served fucking cold…”
My shudder caught his attention. He knew in that moment who I was talking about.
“But, other times, we do stupid things because we don't think or because someone else has a hold over us.” I licked my lips. “And those people feel enough guilt to last them a lifetime. Their justice is served in a different way.”
Moth frowned and looked at the floor, the intensity of his broodiness permeating the whole room. Ceecee and I glanced at one another, waiting patiently for his verdict. That's what it fucking felt like, a courtroom with the muscular handsome man, who could exact revenge in one punch of his fist. No wonder the pair of us shook in our boots.
“It's good that you've come clean,” Moth told Ceecee, “I'll let the others know, so the truth is finally out. You need to go and be a good mother to your child. Wasp would want you to be happy.”
Tears slipped from her eyes, tracking down her cheeks. I blinked my own away, pleased that she had the absolution that she needed in order to move on with her life. I was envious of the way she held her unborn baby, despite the grief that flowed from her.
“Thank you,” she whispered, going over to Moth and leaning up to place a kiss on his cheek.
He went completely rigid and just about hid a scowl. I'd seen it so often, I could detect it lingering there. The man didn't do affection, much less from someone he wasn't fucking.
Turning back to me, Ceecee gave me a hug and pulled back. “I need you to be in my life now. Auntie Alia has a nice ring to it.”
“Don't!” I smacked her arm playfully. “I was just about keeping it together.”
The tears filled my eyes and I swiped at them, trying to erase their evidence. I didn't want Moth to see me weak. He prided himself on being strong, stoic and totally disconnected. I didn't want to be him, but I did need his respect if we were going to get through the next part of our plan.
“Let's meet up really soon.” I guided Ceecee towards the door, hugging her when we reached it again. “I just need to speak to Moth about something. Text me on my real number later.”
She beamed, her smile splitting her face as she left us. Shit, how had she got her forgiveness so easily? Moth hadn't exactly given me an easy ride.
“So,” I muttered, turning towards him, “did I just need to be pregnant for you to treat me better when we met on the bridge?”
“Shut up,” he snapped, coming closer. “You weren't pregnant. You didn't even have a man, you were floating adrift.”
“Poetic.” My murmured response drew a growl from him.
“Why do you have to be so infuriating?” He stepped near me, staring down into my eyes.
“Me? You're the one that drives me mad. Why couldn't you afford me the generosity you just gave Ceecee?”
His teeth bared. “After years of hating you, and then you rescuing me, I had to take my frustration out on someone.”
“Do you still hate me?”
The energy that flew between us would've lit up the room if it was visible. I had to keep my hands at my sides to resist the urge to grab him, punch him, kiss him and fuck him. The bastard drew me to him like a fucking Moth to a flame. Ugh.
“I told you that I didn't.” He stood extremely still, right in front of me, as if he were also trying to keep control. “Why are you asking again?”
“Apparently, we can't be grown up enough to accept that we're in a fuck/hate relationship.”
The corner of his lips lifted in a smirk. “And if you weren't so emotional about it, we could keep it that way.”
Throwing my clenched fist, I punched him right in the gut. Except, it was rock solid and the impact hurt my knuckles. I recoiled, holding my hand and frowning up at him. How dare he hurt me when I was trying to evaporate his dickheadedness?
“We need to just get past this Friday, fuck Brandon-”
“What?” he barked, gripping my wrist and lifting my arm. “Fuck Brandon?”
“Not literally!” I tried to wrench my arm away, but he held too tight. “Are you…? Are you jealous?”
His nostrils flared and he walked me backwards until I was against the wall. Oh shit, here we went again.
“Not this time!” I shoved him hard, using all my strength.
He actually retreated, his eyes narrowing on me. “I am jealous,” he hissed. “As a kid, I was obsessed with you. I had just worked up the courage to ask you out when Wasp tripped and ruined everything. That obsession never went away, even if it turned into a fucked up mixture of hate and desire.”
“What?” I breathed, releasing my held breath.
My heartbeat pounded fast in my ears and I stepped towards him. He put a hand up to repel me, clearly keeping me away now that he was opening up about how he'd felt all that time ago.
“When you told me about Brandon stalking you,” he said, “on the bridge that day, I felt a rage that burned fucking deep. I didn't understand why.”
“Did you know who I was right away?”
Nodding, he bit his bottom lip hard. “Yeah. If any other woman would've approached me that night, I probably would've gone over the railings before she'd reached me, but you… your voice… I'd dreamed about it for fifteen years.”
My hands shook as I reached for him. He swatted me away and took another step back.
“I'm telling you this so you know that I didn't just forgive Ceecee to be a cunt to you.” He looked at the floor. “I did it because I don't give a shit about her. You, though, I seethed on your betrayal for years and it's still bubbling underneath the surface. No matter how much I try, I can't release the hate… or obsession.”
I stood completely still, finally understanding his confusing behaviour. He still hated me, even though he'd made out that he'd let it all go. I couldn't quite understand, not without knowing where he was and what he’d been doing when he went missing for five years, but it was clear that we would never work.
“I don't know what to say,” I eventually muttered. “At least I know the obsession isn't just one sided.”
He came forward, his step calculated, but not forceful. I resigned myself to whatever was about to happen. How could we confess something like that with no follow up?
“I know I said it in the woods,” he said, “but I can't give you what you want. However, I've been fantasising about being on my knees with your knee hooked over my shoulder.”
My pussy flooded and I sucked in a breath. “And…?”
“And,” he went on, stepping closer. “You’re holding onto the table behind you, gripping it tight as my tongue fucks your sweet pussy.”
A pathetic squeak of desire whistled from my throat and my knees knocked together, weak from his words.
“One of your hands reaches for my hair, gripping it and trapping my mouth against your wet cunt, almost stifling the air from my nose.”
I went limp as his arm came around my waist and hoisted me, moving me so that I stood in front of a table. Placing me back on the floor, he unzipped my jeans and tugged them down my legs, lifting each foot so he could peel them off.
“You buck against me, riding my face,” he went on, his voice so gruff, he had to clear his throat, “Until you cum, squirting all over my face.”
My pussy pulsed and my whole body was on fire. Fuck, if his words turned me on this much, he'd have me howling within seconds.
Taking my hands, he pushed them backwards, curling my fingers around the table top before dropping to his knees. His grunt drew my attention and I looked down, biting my lip when he pressed his face into my crotch, sniffing my scent through my thong.
“We're crazy,” I muttered, staring into his eyes when he looked up at me.
His nostrils flared as he inhaled through his nose, his eyes darkening as he pushed my legs apart. “You drive me fucking crazy. Your pussy is addictive and my tongue needs to make you squirm.”
My mouth fell open as he flicked his tongue out, running the length of my slit over the material covering me. The heat of his breath blasted me and my head fell back.
“Good girl,” he muttered, pulling away and tugging my thong halfway down my hips.
Coming back again, he slipped his tongue into the top of my exposed crease, his tongue hitting my clit and swirling. I held onto the table as the tingles started and my legs shook. He held my butt cheek tight, digging his fingers in roughly and holding me to him.
My breath grew faster as he flicked his tongue up and down until he moved away and pulled my thong down my legs, quickly discarding it.
“Someone could come in,” I said, holding his chin so he paused.
He smirked. “Let them. They’ll see how beautiful you look screaming my name.”
My resolve evaporated as he leaned forward, lifted my leg and placed my knee over his shoulder. He held my hip tight, helping me to keep my balance, and pressed his mouth to my pussy, licking and flicking me before plunging his tongue in as far as he could.
I gasped, my head falling back again as he fucked me with his tongue. He used his free hand to press between us and flick my clit, around and around until the tingles started. He ate me… really ate me… and my hips grinded on his face, seeking the pleasure that only he could give.
“That’s it,” he muttered against me, “be a good girl and fuck my face.”
A shudder rocked me and I barely held on as he swirled his tongue around my entrance and slid his thumb over my clit, up and down, so fast, my head spun. The tingles rose in power and I breathed heavily, holding onto his hair and forcing him to suck me.
Something touched my pussy, pressing inside and stretching me wide. My muscles went weak and I stiffened as my orgasm peeked and the sweet vibrations spread throughout my body. Whatever was inside me kept moving in and out, only adding to the intensity.
“That’s it,” Moth said, his voice thick, “cum all over my hand.”
His thumb was still working my clit and the second orgasm rose within me, bursting so harshly, I almost fell over. He held me steady as I bit my lip hard, stifling a scream that tried to escape. Taking his hand out of me, he clamped his mouth over my pussy, his tongue still.
I heaved in a breath as the pleasure died down and my whole body went weak.
“Shit.” I panted, holding his head as he pulled away and looked up at me.
My mouth dropped open when he winked at me, his wet face catching the light from the UV. Oh fuck, he had made me squirt all over his face, just like he promised.
“That was delicious,” he murmured, his voice deep as he stood and wiped his face with his sleeve. “Now we better go and talk to the guys about your plan.”
As he waited for me to compose myself, I smiled despite the shit show. There was something about Moth that I’d just learned… he was great at cunnilingus, and if I died in the next few days, I would die happy.