103. Sterling
Chapter 103
Sterling
I pace the length of my kitchen for the fifth time, two mugs of coffee in hand.
Mine and hers.
I stop and stare down at the drinks.
What am I doing?
I don’t know how she takes her coffee.
And I can’t just randomly start bringing one of my six employees coffee in the morning. Not to mention this particular employee is the one who makes coffee for everyone every day.
Big Joe.
I almost smile thinking about the jealousy that stormed through me when I thought she was talking about a man.
It was obviously misplaced, but the jealousy was real.
The way I feel about her is real.
A growl builds in my chest.
This is my property. My business. My Courtney.
I should be able to do whatever I want.
Considering the two coffees, I decide I can be subtle.
Lifting the mug filled with my black coffee, I chug it down, the hot liquid scorching its way down my throat. Then I pull open the cupboard next to the sink, take down one of my insulated Black Mountain Lodge travel tumblers, and pour the lighter, sweeter brew inside.
With the lid secured, no one will be able to tell it’s not my usual drink.
Satisfied with my sneakiness, I stride out of my house, ready to see what my little worker is up to.
After getting sidetracked by fucking everyone, I finally spot Courtney walking between two of the cabins.
She’s weighted down with a huge pile of bedding, tilting to the side, and wearing a maroon winter hat pulled low on her head.
I stand still, watching her, lifting the cup of coffee to my mouth. Before I remember it’s her coffee and… I don’t have to watch from a distance anymore.
I can touch her now.
Grinning, I stride toward her.
Then I pick up my pace to a jog when she stumbles.
She’s at the steps of the next cabin when I reach her.
“Courtney,” I say quietly as I scoop the pile of sheets out of her grasp with one arm. “Make more trips.”
“Huh? Oh, sure.” She sounds confused.
I lower the bundle so I can see her pretty face. And I frown. “What’s wrong?”
“Hm?” Her brows lift. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
She’s not fine.
She’s pale.
And a sheen of sweat coats her cheeks, even though she’s wearing that hat like she’s freezing.
The temp has definitely dropped in the last twenty-four hours, but it’s not as bad as all that right now.
Courtney starts up the stairs to the next cabin before I can stop her.
And that’s when I see the flannel.
My ribs flex around my heart .
Below her sweater is my flannel.
She’s still wearing it.
She’s… disappearing into the cabin.
“Shit.”
I climb the steps in two strides and find her already pulling bedding off one of the mattresses.
I drop the bundle I took from her onto the ground. “Cookie, stop for a second.”
I hate that she thought I called her Cookie for bad reasons. Fucking despise it. But I’ve thought of her as my Cookie for too long already and can’t stop.
Plus, it usually gets a reaction. And I need her attention.
She sucks in a breath, like I startled her. As if she didn’t expect me to follow her in.
Moving to her side, I place a hand on Courtney’s shoulder and turn her to face me.
She wavers.
I set the coffee down on the top beam of the bunk, then grip her other shoulder.
“You’re not feeling well.” I make it a statement.
She tries to shrug, but it’s more of a tremble. “I’m fine.”
I shake my head. “You’re not fine. And I mean this in the nicest way…” I let go with one hand and tug the front edge of her hat up, giving me a better view of her bloodshot eyes. “You look like you feel terrible.”
She huffs, then covers her mouth with her hand as it turns into a cough.
My shoulders droop.
She looks miserable.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I murmur as I pull her hat up higher and place the back of my hand on her forehead.
“I’m fine.” Her voice sounds painful.
She feels warm, but I don’t know if it’s a fever or if it’s from her hat.
“You need to go back to bed,” I tell her.
Courtney shakes her head. “We have guests tomorrow.”
I drop my hand from her forehead and cup her cheek. “I’ll get the guys to help. We’ll take care of it.”
She shakes her head again. “I can do it.”
I match her movement. “No. You can’t. You’re sick.”
“But…” Her chest rises with deep breaths, like she’s exhausted from talking. “I…” Her eyes lower. “I can’t skip a day.”
“Skip a day?” I don’t understand.
I feel the movement in her cheek as she swallows. “I can’t afford to skip a day.”
My brows furrow.
I can’t afford to skip a day.
My brows furrow more.
Does she think…
“Courtney.” Her eyes stay lowered. “Courtney, eyes up here.”
I don’t want to talk about pay with her. I don’t want the stark reminder of our boss-employee situation. But I need her to understand how things work around here.
A long moment passes before she meets my gaze.
But when she does, I wish she hadn’t.
It’s my turn to swallow.
The fucking emotion in her eyes.
I swallow again.
It’s the look of someone who doesn’t want to do something but knows they have to.
The look of someone pushing through because they have no other choice.
It’s that look of fucking defeat that I’ve seen her try to hide before.
And it’s killing me.
“I’m not going to dock your pay for resting when you’re sick.” My voice is quieter than I meant it to be.
“I just… Maybe if I just take a nap. I’ll?—”
“No.” I can’t stand to hear her say anything else. “You will stay in bed. Take some cold medicine. Drink your water. And stay in bed until tomorrow. And if you’re still not feeling well, you’ll stay in bed tomorrow too. ”
She’s watching me like she’s trying to find the trick. “But the guests…”
“The guests will be fine,” I reassure her.
Her gaze drops to my chest. “And it won’t affect my pay?”
Courtney blackmailing me to keep this position.
Her double-checking that the Food Hall lunch was included.
Courtney crying after Fisher told her we get paid at the end of the month.
Her crinkled cash for the Costco meal she ate.
“It won’t affect your pay.” My words come out as a whisper. “I promise.”
“Okay.” Her voice is small. “And you’d do that for anyone?”
I nod.
I nod because my throat feels too tight.
Because I feel like a fucking asshole.
My girl, my employee, is standing here, working through illness, because she doesn’t want to lose a single day of pay.
And even as I’m telling her to rest, she’s asking me if I’d do this for everyone. Because she doesn’t want special treatment.
I just fucking can’t.
I slide my hand from her cheek to the back of her hat-covered head and pull her into my body.
Courtney tenses.
I hold her tighter.
Then I feel her back hitch through a breath before she wraps her arms around my middle.
Her body shakes again as she inhales.
“Fuck.” I hold her firmly against me with one hand and run the other up and down her spine.
We stand there, holding each other for several quiet moments as she slowly relaxes into me, her fingers loosening their grip on the back of my shirt.
“Courtney…” It feels awkward to say this, but I think she’s crying, and I can’t take her fucking crying. “If you need money…”
Courtney pulls back, already shaking her head. “Please don’t finish that sentence.” She wipes at her cheeks even as she forces herself to look up at me. “I’m fine. I mean, I feel crappy enough that it’s making me cry a little. But I’m fine. I just…” She brushes away another tear, like they’re no big deal. “I earn my way. I don’t want any favors.”
I nod my head once. Because I get it.
I don’t like it. But I get it.
“Is there anything else I can do? Anything you need?”
Courtney, of course, shakes her head. Asking for nothing.
“Alright.” I let my hands slip from her body. “Go to bed. I’ll finish up here.”
She glances around. “If you’re sure.”
I don’t miss the way she reaches out to touch the bed frame to steady herself.
“Want me to walk you back?”
“No.” She turns down my offer.
I want to argue.
Demand she let me carry her.
But I can’t do that with the rest of my employees milling around the property.
“Fine. But go right to bed.”
She makes a sound of agreement, and then I uneasily watch as she exits the cabin.
I’ll check on her soon.