104. Courtney
Chapter 104
Courtney
Embarrassment and unwellness swirl inside me as I shuffle down the path.
I can’t believe I cried in front of Sterling.
Again.
I reach up with the cuff of my sweater and wipe away another traitorous tear.
It’s just because I don’t feel good.
I glance down at the damp fabric and wince.
Sterling’s flannel is peeking out beneath my sweater. Everywhere.
He must think…
I brush at my other cheek.
I have no idea what he must think of me.
The negative part of me wants to focus on the bad.
Like the fact that he, my boss, has seen me cry more than once.
Or the fact that he knows I’m broke.
I start to choke on a laugh and press my palm to my throat.
I thought I’d been mortified before, but him offering me money. That was a new low.
He meant well.
Said it because he wanted to help.
But I’m not a charity case.
Pretty fucking close , my inner self points out, but I ignore her.
So yeah, Sterling probably thinks I’m a helpless girl on the edge of despair.
Not exactly wrong.
But he also looks at me like he wants me.
And that might hold more weight than the rest of it.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
I stumble up my steps and into my cabin.
The temperature inside is basically the same as outside, but maybe it’s not so bad.
As I shuffle to my bed, I pull all the curtains open.
At this point, the sunlight isn’t going to be enough to keep me awake, and maybe it will heat the place by a few degrees.
Leaning against the bunk, I paw at my laces until I can kick my boots off.
I put my hand on the step stool to climb into bed but pause long enough to strip off my work pants and replace them with my sweats.
Leaving the rest of the layers on, I finally flop onto my mattress.
It’s firmer than I remember, but it’s not enough to keep me awake.
Eyes closing, my last thought is of Sterling.
And the way he hugged me.