Chapter 7
Conner
There’s a marching band in my skull and they play terribly. Everything hurts and my eyes are crusty. Pretty sure a cat shit in my mouth too. Sitting up takes tremendous effort, and as the blurriness clears, I realize I’m in Dean’s living room.
How. The fuck. Did I get here?
My socks hang half off my feet and my blanket’s all twisted. Nothing feels real.
“Good morning, Sunshine.” Grace leans over the back of the sofa, catching me by surprise, and hands me a cup of black coffee.
One sip has me cringing. “Damn, woman, what did you do to this?”
“Hair of the Dog. Heard you had a delightful night with whisky. Figured a little more this morning would ease you out of your hangover.” She sits down next to me and sips her mug. “It’s Johnnie Walker Blue Label. So good.”
I take another sip and cringe. “I actually hate whisky.”
“Hated it so hard you had half a bottle last night?”
I sink back on the couch and grumble. “Who snitched?”
“The whole town is probably talking about it by now.”
Shit. “What did I do?”
Dean strolls into the room with his own steaming mug. “Besides beat the shit out of Austin?” He sits next to me. “Just puked on Bennet.”
“Sweet jeebus.” It takes forever for my surviving two brain cells to hold hands and help me remember anything last night beyond shooting pool and ordering…
“Doubles,” I groan. “I ordered doubles, didn’t I.”
“Back-to-back, man.” Dean leans back and sighs. “Been a while since you got that bad.”
I don’t need the reminder. It was five years ago.
My mom got some contract with a food service company in another state, and I helped them pack.
Happily. That’s when my dad told me I was a waste of space.
Said I was never going to amount to shit because I’m a lazy fuck who can’t do anything but play in dirt.
Never mind that he’d been unemployed since I was five and I had to work a full-time job while going to high school just to keep our electric running and food in the fridge.
I haven’t seen or heard from them since. Thank God.
But becoming that unhinged last night is unwarranted. No matter how bad I feel about my life falling apart, drinking would only make it worse, and I knew that.
I self-sabotaged. Again.
“Shit,” I whisper, scrubbing my face. “I’m so sorry.”
“We’re not the ones you should apologize to,” Dean says. “But I think you better bring Austin flowers, a cake, some baseball game tickets, and a puppy to make up for your actions.”
Inexplicable rage suddenly consumes me, and all my regrets burn away.
“I’m not apologizing to that motherfucker.
He cheated on Taylor.” The events at the bar make a foggy replay in my head.
Me swinging my fists, furniture scraping across the floor, people yelling.
Austin kissing some woman with red hair. “He got what he deserved.”
Dean tilts his head and glowers at me. “Austin and Taylor broke up two days ago.”
“What are you talking about? No, they didn’t.”
“Yes, they did.”
“No. I was at her house two nights ago. I spent the night. She didn’t mention anything about a breakup.”
Dean just stares at me. He stares and stares and stares until I finally look away first.
Why didn’t she tell me they broke up? She always tells me everything.
“Are you happy?” I’d asked her.
“Yes,” she’d said.
And she looked it.
She was happy. Broken up and happy.
“Why didn’t she tell me?” It would have saved a lot of trouble, and my knuckles wouldn’t be so cut up and swollen today. My pride also wouldn’t be this busted.
Dean shrugs. “Maybe she was waiting to say something.”
“Or she didn’t think it was worth mentioning,” Grace suggests. “I mean, out of sight, out of mind. Once a woman is done, she’s done.”
Taylor’s definitely that kind of woman.
“I’m going to jail for this.” I take another sip of my coffee and start laughing, which hurts my busted lip, which makes me wince and laugh harder. “Oh my god, I’m going to jail for assault and battery and it’s all for nothing.”
I’ve lost my damn mind.
Grace and Dean look at each other and then Grace says, “Maybe not. Taylor went to talk with him last night.”
I almost drop my mug. “She already knows about this?” Shame heats my entire body, and I break out in a cold sweat.
She’s going to be furious with me for acting like a barbarian.
“I gotta call her.” I stand up and change my mind. “No, I gotta go talk to her in person. And get my ass to Austin’s and beg him to not press charges. I’m too pretty for prison.”
But the truth is, I’d do it all again if I had to. No one cheats on the greatest woman alive and gets away with it. Not as long as I draw breath.
But… he didn’t cheat on her if…
“They broke up. For real. You know that for sure?”
Grace and Dean both nod their heads.
I head for the door and don’t bother putting on my boots. I just grab them from the floor and yank the front door wide open. Shit. “I don’t have my truck.”
“Take mine,” Dean says. “No. Wait. I need it for later.” He rests his coffee mug on the table, then kisses Grace’s head and whispers something to her that makes her smile. “I’ll drive you back to your house so you can use your own vehicle for all this goddamn groveling you’re about to do.”
Taylor
I didn’t get a hold of Austin last night.
It made me worry that he was either at the hospital getting his bones reset or already putting handcuffs on Conner.
I ended up coming home and was too mad to sleep so I rage-cleaned my house.
Now I’m emotionally and mentally exhausted, sipping tea, and counting inventory in my shop.
Five orchids.
Six snake plants.
Three Venus Fly Traps.
Okay, let me check my crystal coverage. Hmmm…
Two blue agates. Yikes, I’ve got to order more of those.
Five rose quartz. Maybe I’ll get a few more of those too.
I’ve been putting together mystery boxes and wellness boxes for my shop and online. They always seem to sell in waves. Oh, that reminds me, I’m all out of fluorite and moonstones.
Did you know amethyst is like the best for stress relief? Lepidolite is great too. Maybe I should shove a few down Conner’s throat or up his ass to fix his current state. Couldn’t hurt, right?
“Tay?”
I look up from my laptop, startled to see Austin at my door.
When I rush over to give him a hug, he stops me from getting closer by holding out a plastic container between us. “Here.”
I stare at the dandelions inside. “What’s this for?”
“Conner made a good point last night and I just… I….” He sighs and I stare at his busted lip, cheek, and swollen left eye.
“Come on.” I take the container and his hand and pull him out of my shop and into the house where I get a steak out of the fridge and slap it on his eye. “Want coffee?”
“Yeah. That would be great.”
I make him a strong cup in silence and want to scream. I can’t believe Conner did this to Austin.
“So...” I sit across from him and slide his mug over. “Want to tell me your side of things?”
The container of dandelions sits between us on the table and a ladybug crawls along the rim.
Birds are chipping outside. There’s a lovely breeze coming from my open windows.
The atmosphere is so peaceful even though I’m vibrating with tension and staring at my ex-boyfriend who looks ashamed, annoyed and completely beaten down.
I’m going to kill Conner for this.
“It was a misunderstanding,” Austin says.
“Who swung first?”
He scoffs at me. “Who do you think?”
I sip my coffee and try to come up with something to say. Apologizing on Conner’s behalf is not something I’ll ever do. He’s a grown man making grown man mistakes. He’s not my responsibility. But…
“He thought you cheated on me,” I end up saying.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
Austin won’t look me in the eyes as his cheeks turn red and I watch that color spread down his neck. “I was kissing someone else.”
I’m surprised at how calm I am about it. Actually, no I’m not. It’s not a problem that Austin moved on so fast. It’s a problem that I let our relationship go on for as long as it did. I’ve never been in love with him.
“Did you ever love me, Austin?”
Birds chirp and trill outside my kitchen window. The scent of his coffee burns my nose.
“No.” He winces at his confession. “I wanted to so badly because you’re great and all, but… no.”
Peace washes over me.
“Did you ever love me?” he asks.
“No. Not the way I thought I should.”
He nods like that makes sense. “We really dragged this out and wasted time, didn’t we?”
“I wouldn’t call it a waste, but yeah, we dragged this out for way too long. Sorry.”
“Me too.” He taps his thumb on the handle of his mug and stares at the dandelions. “You gonna tell him?”
“About our breakup?”
“That you love him.”
The ladybug flies off the rim of the container and lands in Austin’s hair.
“No,” I say, disappointing myself. “There’s no point. We’re just friends and that’s all we’ll ever be.”
Conner made that painfully clear the day he pushed me away when I kissed him and I promised myself to never be that vulnerable with my heart or put our friendship on the line ever again. Risking it once scarred me for life.
“He wants to be more than friends, Tay.”
I roll my eyes. “Just stop.” This is the one thing we fought most about, and I can’t believe it’s happening even after we break up. “We’re just friends. That’s all we’ve ever been.”
The ladybug flies off Austin’s head and lands on the table. It’s like she’s got nowhere to go and keeps trying to be everywhere at the same time. I cup her into my palm and set her free outside then sit across from my ex again.
“Listen to me.” Austin leans back and crosses his arms. “No man would do this to another guy if it wasn’t out of pure love or pure stupidity. And as much as I wish he was… Conner’s not stupid.”
“Agree to disagree,” I say, hoping the joke will make him laugh. It doesn’t. “He’s just over-protective of me. It’s always been that way. He thought you were cheating on me, Austin.”
He nods at the dandelions. “You know what he said to me last night between punches?”
I can only imagine.
“He said I’m pigheaded and selfish because I can’t give you the simplest gift of acceptance.”
Tears spring to my eyes. My throat closes up. “That’s not true. You always…”
“It is true, Taylor. Dandelions and moon pickles.” He stares at the container and his voice quivers.
“I couldn’t just let you be yourself and love you as you are.
It drives me nuts that I don’t understand you on the same level Conner does.
The way all your friends do. I came to this town as a complete outsider, and I’ll always be that way.
I’m not made to fit in your world… or your heart.
” Austin blows out a long sigh and rubs the back of his neck.
“Conner doesn’t ask what you need dandelions for.
He just knows you want them, so he gets them for you.
I didn’t do that.” He shakes his head. “I told you no.”
“It’s understandable. I mean, how would you explain it to the other guys at the station that you’re getting your girlfriend weeds for tea.”
He chuckles quietly. “I could have said just that. Or told them to mind their business.” He shakes his head and stares at the container again. “I saw him last week picking these things with a headlamp on his hat before sunrise over at Honey Pete’s farm when I was heading to work.”
My heart bursts. “You did?”
“Mm hmm. No man who thinks of you as just a friend would go out of his way like that.”
“He’s just being proactive. He’s used to my weirdness and knows I’m probably going to ask for his help anyways. It’s not that deep.”
“Open your big, beautiful eyes, Taylor. You might think you and him are just friends, but he wants more.” Austin rubs his jaw and winces. “I think he needs more, or he’ll end up tearing the town apart in a fit of rage because someone didn’t do right by you the same way he can.”
“I don’t think…”
“Give him a chance. I know you love him too.”
“I…”
“Don’t lie to law enforcement. It’ll get you in big trouble.”
A giggle bubbles out of me. Austin is a nice guy. I hope he finds his person one day soon.
“So anyway…” He drains the last of his coffee and stands up to put the mug in my sink. “Those dandelions are my go get the love you deserve and happy break up to us present.”
“Does this mean…” I stand up and lean against my counter. “You’re not mad enough to press charges on him then?”
Austin regards me with this soft-eyed look that always makes me feel peaceful and safe. “Not this time.”
“There won’t be a next time. I’ll make sure of it.”
He scoffs like I just said something pointless. “I should give him a fine though. He called me a twatbag.”
I clutch my chest and gasp. “Very offensive.”
“Truly.”
We both laugh and a weight lifts off my chest.
Austin cups my cheek and grins. “Go get him, Taylor.”