Chapter 21
Knox
Ialmost kissed her. I wanted to kiss her. I think she wanted me to kiss her. But I’m trying to be patient—to let her decide what she’s ready for.
I couldn’t focus on the rest of the rodeo.
I need to know what she’s thinking. I’m slowly learning her tells but she’s still hard to read sometimes.
One minute it feels like she’s letting me in, but then two minutes later she’s back behind her walls.
I could see it in her eyes though, she knows there is more between us.
She just needs to be brave enough to give me a chance.
I’m supposed to leave tomorrow, and I need to know if she feels the same way.
We’re walking next to each other, heading back to our trucks, when she stops dead in her tracks. I turn to look at her and she’s gone white as a sheet. She looks like she’s seen a ghost.
“Well, would you look at that? The Diamond Hart crew,” a guy I don’t recognize says, walking up to our group. “I don’t see y’all around town very often.” He’s talking to everyone, but he’s only looking at Kacey.
She’s now looking down at the ground.
“Kacey, good to see you again,” he continues, and she doesn’t reply.
Carson steps between Kacey and whoever the hell is making her uncomfortable.
I sidestep to angle toward Carson. I can tell by everyone’s unfriendly welcome he isn’t someone they like.
“Get out of the fucking way, Garrett,” Carson snaps at him.
Yep, we definitely don’t like this guy.
He’s a couple inches taller than me with blonde hair and he’s wearing cuffed 13MWZs and a cowboy hat that looks like someone slammed it in a door. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess he’s a super puncher and a total douche.
“Aw, come on, Carson. We’re all friends, aren’t we? I just wanted to see how Kacey is,” Garrett replies.
Jessie grabs Kacey by the wrist and starts dragging her around the group of us toward the truck. Even she doesn’t pass him without getting a few words of her own in. “Have you ever thought of using glue instead of Chapstick? I know we’d all appreciate it.” She smiles sweetly as she passes him.
Have I ever questioned if I like her? Because I’m her biggest fan now.
Once Kacey and Jessie are out of earshot, Carson practically growls at Garrett.
“I thought I told you to never fucking talk to her again.” He takes a step in his direction and super douche at least has the brains to back up a step.
From the set of his shoulders and the way he’s balled his hands into fists, Carson looks like he’s about ready to throw a punch.
“Come on, Carson. It was two years ago, and I told you it was a misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding my ass.” Carson shoves him out of his way as he heads for the truck. Garrett doesn’t retaliate. Probably smart, considering Carson stands over six feet tall and is built like Henry Cavill. I wouldn’t mess with him either.
I jog to catch up with him. “Who the hell was that?”
“No one,” he bites out.
“It was clearly someone. Kacey’s ex?” I guess. He glances at me, then nods once.
“What’s the story there?”
He lets out a breath and sounds defeated when he replies. “It’s not my story to tell. And douche isn’t a strong enough word.”
We’re back at the truck waiting for Chet and Cody.
I can’t stop thinking about the look on Kacey’s face when she saw Garrett.
It was pure hurt and regret. I’ve never seen her look like that.
Looking down at the ground, arms crossed holding her middle, not speaking or standing up for herself.
That’s not the girl I’ve gotten to know over the last six weeks.
Sure, she might be quiet sometimes, but it’s not because she feels less than or hurt. She speaks when she has something to say, and she keeps her circle small. But the Kacey I know smiles, laughs at my dumb jokes and rolls her eyes at Carson. She’s alive.
That girl back there was a shell.
She’s sitting on the running board next to Jessie. I can tell Jessie is trying to distract her. She’s showing her some video on her phone.
Neither Carson nor I have spoken since we got back to the truck. I don’t know what to say. I want to ask her if she’s okay and what I can do to fix this. I hate seeing her like this.
Finally, I decide I’m done waiting. I walk over to her. “Come on,” I say, holding my hand out to her. “Let’s go, I’ll drive you home.”
She looks at me for the first time since we ran into Garrett. “You don’t have to do that, and I don’t want to leave Jessie and Carson alone. You know how they are—we’d have to hide a body later.” She only half-heartedly delivered that joke, and none of us are buying it.
“Don’t worry about us, there’s beer in the cooler. Who knows how long your dad and Chet will stand about gabbing? Go home, get some rest.” Jessie smiles at her, but it’s a sad smile.
Kacey looks over at Carson. He just nods once then looks back toward the arena like he’s keeping guard. He probably is.
“Okay.” She grabs my hand. “Let’s go.”
We’re a couple miles down the road and she’s looking out the passenger window. She hasn’t said a word since we left.
I want to reach across the truck and hold her hand. I’ve never been big on hand holding or other displays of affection, but apparently, I’m a completely different person around this girl.
When we reach the edge of town, I work up the nerve to ask, “Are you okay?” It sounds lame when I hear it out loud, but I don’t know what to do. I’m not good at things like this. Shockingly, Trey is actually the one who always has all the right words when people are upset.
She doesn’t reply for a long time, and I’m beginning to think she won’t when she says, “I’m guessing Carson told you who that was.”
“No, but I guessed.”
She sighs and turns from the window. “He’s my ex. We dated for two years and it ended badly.”
“I’m sorry. He seemed like a real douche,” I say with more bite than intended.
She huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, you could say that.”
I take my eye off the road to glance at her. “I know you have Jessie and Carson, but if you ever want to talk about it, I’m a great listener.”
She’s looking down, picking at her nails. I barely hear her quiet response. “Thanks.”
I pull up to her house and put the truck in park.
When I look over, she has her hand on the handle but isn’t opening the door.
I’ve learned over the past few weeks while working with her and Buck that she likes to process thoughts internally.
Once she has it figured out, she’ll share it with me or act on it, but she’ll sit and think something through first. I admire her for it.
Most people act on impulse or rash snap judgements, but not Kacey. She thinks things through.
When she lets go of the handle, and looks down at her hands in her lap, her voice sounds numb.
“He was Mr. Perfect for the longest time. He’d write cute notes, buy me gifts, and work around the ranch.
He always knew exactly what to say at the right moment.
I thought we’d get married, have kids and build a life together. ”
I turn in my seat to face her. “What happened?”
She looks out the windshield at the old pine tree, swaying in the wind next to her house, and clears her throat.
“He didn’t know I was there, the day I overheard him on the phone and found out it was all a lie.
” Her eyes dart back and forth, like she’s reliving it all over again in her head.
“I’m still not sure who he was talking to.
I walked in to hear him telling someone how I’m nice enough and a good lay, that he can put up with me if it means he gets the ranch someday. ”
I ball my hands into fists; I can feel my anger at this piece of shit rising.
She sucks in a breath before continuing.
“He told them he was going to try and get me pregnant. He went as far to say how he had a plan for getting me off birth control so he could try knocking me up. Then he had the audacity to laugh about it to whoever it was he was talking to.”
Now I have to reach out and grip the steering wheel to try and stay calm. Carson was right. Douche isn’t a strong enough word.
What kind of person does that to someone? Now I wish Carson would’ve hit him. Hell, I’ll hit him, given the opportunity.
“I’d always been pretty good at telling who was interested in me solely because I’m Cody Hart’s only child.
There aren’t many ranches like this—it’s extremely financially successful, and someday, it will all be mine—but Garrett was the one I didn’t see past. I fell so hard for him.
If he would’ve proposed, I know I would’ve said yes. I should’ve known better.”
I take a deep breath, letting my anger simmer. “Kacey, look at me, please.”
She swallows before slowly turning to face me, finally looking up to meet my eyes.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that. You are more than this ranch, you understand that, right?”
“Yes. I do now,” she whispers. “He didn’t care about me at all.
He never did. After I overheard him, we had a huge argument.
He tried to gaslight me and turn it all around on me, but I knew then all he cared about was trying to be next in line to the ranch.
” Her voice changes altogether when she says, “It taught me a valuable lesson though.” I can tell she’s not angry or even sad, she’s resigned.
It all makes sense now. This is why she won’t let me in, she doesn’t trust anyone. And I can’t say that I blame her.
“I’m guessing that lesson has something to do with the reason you’ve kept me at arm’s length.” I have to say it. I’ve seen the way she looks at me, she feels it, too. She just won’t let herself take the chance.
Her eyes snap to mine before she quickly looks away. “Yes. I haven’t dated since. I can’t bring myself to trust anyone’s intentions.” She pauses and looks back to me. “But if I could, I’d want it to be you.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her about Megan.
About how I don’t date either, how her betrayal changed me—broke something inside of me.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever want to share my life with another woman again, but I realize now I want that with Kacey.
I’m not sure when it happened but I do. But now isn’t the time to dump all my baggage on her, so I push the thoughts out of my mind.
“You told me once I’m the most patient man you’ve ever known. I’m patient enough to wait until I’ve earned your trust, Kace. Thank you for telling me.” I open my truck door. “Come on, I’ll walk you up.” I climb out of the truck and go around to open her door.
She turns to face me when we reach her doorstep. I hold both her hands in mine and look into her eyes. “If you ever need anything, anyone, or even just a chauffeur who will walk you to your door—” This earns me a small smile. “—you can always count on me. I care about you, Kacey.”
“Thanks, that means a lot. You’re leaving soon, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I have rodeos I’ve entered, and Trey has been waiting for me.” I rub the back of her hand with my thumb, dreading telling her goodbye.
She looks down at our hands. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
I was planning to leave tomorrow. It would give me an extra day at home before I leave for the summer. But if she wants to hang out, I can leave the next day. “Not much. I don’t have any clients scheduled. I just need to pack and load the truck.”
“Would you want to go for a ride? If you have time.”
I can see her cheeks turning red and I smile before answering, “Yeah, sweetheart, I’ve got time.” I let go of her hand to cup the back of her head. Pulling her in, I give her a kiss on the forehead. Unlike before, she feels relaxed and comfortable in my arms. Holding her feels right.
“Night, Kace.”
“Night, Knox.”
I head down the steps and get halfway to my truck before I turn around. “Plus, I have to come back—I have three questions I’m dying to ask you.” I give her a wink and hear her grumble something under her breath that sounded a lot like “left late” before turning to head inside.