Chapter 22
Kacey
I choose coffee.
After I make my way to the kitchen and grab a cup along with some fruit, I settle on the couch with my favorite blanket.
I’ve gone over and over my conversation with Knox last night.
I can’t believe I told him about Garrett.
I’ve only ever told Jessie and Carson, no one else.
That alone shows how much of my trust he’s already earned in just a few short weeks.
Riding home from the rodeo with him, after spending the day having fun, laughing with him and seeing a glimpse of how things could be if we were together, I felt like he needed to know. It isn’t him that’s stopping me from giving him a chance, it’s me.
Over the last few weeks, he has shown me time and time again that he wants to get to know the real me. Not rancher Kacey, or roper Kacey—just me, Kacey. No matter how many times I tried to create distance, he just showed up again the next day, being the same sweet, kind, and patient man.
I’m still scared to let him in, but I can’t completely keep him out any longer, either. I know he’s leaving, and I have the world’s worst timing, but maybe my dad is right. He could always come back.
Half an hour later I can’t sit and think about this anymore. I need to get up and do something productive. I start cleaning my house and doing some meal prep for the next few days before heading to the barn around 7 o’clock for chores. My phone vibrates while I’m prepping grain buckets.
Knox
What time should I come over? I should be done packing by 11. I can grab lunch in town for us if you want.
Kacey
Whenever you’re done works. Lunch would be great, thanks.
Knox
Sushi or burgers?
Kacey
Sushi!
Knox
That was a test. You failed
Knox
But I’ll get you raw fish so you can risk food poisoning if that’s what you want
Knox pulls in shortly before noon and parks in what’s become his spot outside the barn.
Sitting on the tailgate of his truck eating, I ask, “How do you not like sushi? It’s so good.”
I have sushi and he ordered beef pad thai.
He raises an eyebrow at me. “I prefer to eat cooked meat, preferably beef. Not to mention Trey got food poisoning from sushi once. It was gas station sushi though, so that was on him. I had to get him barf bags for the truck; it was gross.”
I laugh. “Oh yeah, never trust gas station sushi. Everyone knows that.”
“If you knew Trey, you would know there isn’t much that scares him. It’s either because of a lack of brain power or he’s extremely brave. I haven’t decided which.” Knox smiles as he pops the last piece of his beef in his mouth.
We finish eating and grab the horses I had saddled before he got here. We start riding out through the pasture to one of my favorite mountain trails, and it’s a beautiful day for a ride. The sun shines over the crest of the mountains as the spring breeze blows past us.
It doesn’t get any better than this.
The leather of my saddle creaks as I turn to look at him. “Alright, I know you’re dying to ask, so let’s have it. What are your questions?”
“Right, I won. I beat you. So, I get three questions. Because I won,” he says with the biggest grin on his face.
I roll my eyes. So humble, this one. “Yeah, yeah, live it up, bull rider. It won’t happen again.”
He thinks about his first question, but it doesn’t take him long. “What is your most treasured memory?”
I pause. That wasn’t what I was expecting him to ask. Most guys would’ve asked some dumb, inappropriate question. Leave it to Knox to ask something deeper. I don’t need to think about my answer, it’s a memory I treasure, and replay in my mind every summer.
“I was six, and Mom and Dad took me to the fair. Back then, we didn’t get off the ranch much.
Dad was still working long days to keep the ranch afloat, so it was a big deal.
I remember sitting in the back seat of the truck and I was so excited.
I’d never been to the fair, but Mom told me all about it.
She said I could get cotton candy, see all the animals, and ride the rides.
We spent all day there; they walked every barn with me, got me cotton candy, and bought me ride tickets.
Dad won me a stuffed animal from one of those rigged carney games and he was my hero for the rest of the day.
” I look forward, turning Hooch toward the trail, but I can feel Knox watching me. Listening to every word.
“We ended the day by going on the Ferris wheel and I can still remember the way my parents looked at each other and held hands. I didn’t know it then, but looking back, they were so in love. I think that’s why I love that memory so much.”
I often wondered if I’d ever find a love like that, but after Garrett, I gave up on that dream, and some days I wish I hadn’t.
There is a soft smile on Knox’s face when he replies. “That sounds like the perfect day. You miss your mom a lot, don’t you?”
“Every day. I wish she could see the ranch now. She’d be so proud of my dad.” Talking about her hurts, but it’s good. I wish dad and I talked about her more. I was so little when she died, now I feel like I couldn’t really know or remember all of her since I was just a child.
“I bet she’d be proud of you, too.” He reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze. “You’re an amazing woman, Kacey Hart.”
I have to swallow the lump in my throat. Having Knox truly listen and say those words means more to me than he knows. I can tell he’s trying to get to know me on a deeper level. I don’t think I’ve ever had a man care enough to even ask about my mom.
“I can’t relate with the pleasant Ferris wheel memory, I must admit. My sister and I got stuck on one when we were little. She cried, which made me laugh, but my dad whooped my butt when we got down for laughing at her instead of comforting her.”
I try to smother my laugh but fail miserably. “Your poor sister. She’s probably scarred for life.”
“Oh, for sure. She hasn’t been on a Ferris wheel since,” he confirms as he shifts in his saddle and looks up at the sky. “It’s clouding over fast, and the wind feels like it’s picking up, too. Think we should turn back?”
I glance up and sure enough, it’s going to rain. Our perfect spring day is gone in minutes—typical mountain weather. “Yeah, we better. You never know how bad it will rain up here.”
As we turn our horses around to head back to the barn, I ask, “Alright, so what’s question number two?”
His eyes study me for a heartbeat, like he’s second-guessing the question on the tip of his tongue. “What’s your biggest fear?”
Damn, he isn’t holding back on these questions.
“Losing someone else I love. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. We never know how much time we get with someone. I think everyone has a little bit of that fear in them.”
“I’ve never lost someone in the same sense you have, but I agree.
Before my dad left, we used to be close.
He taught me to shoe horses and even built my first practice barrel.
I was seventeen when he left—or maybe ‘disappeared’ is a better word—and it left a hole for a long time.
Our relationship has never been the same. ”
“I’m sorry. No parent should disappear on their child. No matter how old they are.”
It’s lightly raining on us now, and we pick up our pace. We kick the horses into a trot, and the closer we get, the harder it starts to rain. Half a mile from the barn, Knox looks over at me, grinning before kicking his horse into a dead run.
Always up for a race, Hooch follows his lead. I ride up next to him and he’s laughing as he drops his reins to hold his arms out, looking up into the rain. I can’t help but laugh at him.
What does he think this is? The Titanic?
We slow as we approach the barn, ride inside, and untack the horses. It’s not cold, but when you’re soaked to the bone, it gets a little chilly. I throw my saddle on the rack.
“Come on, let’s put the horses away and go to my house to dry off. I’m freezing.”
As soon as the horses are put away, Knox grabs my hand, and we sprint through the pouring rain to my house. I realize as I open the door that he’s never been inside my house. I’m immediately glad I cleaned this morning.
The old ranch house has a surprisingly open floor plan.
When you walk in the front door, you’re just to the left of the living room and you can see the kitchen behind it.
There is a stone fireplace my great grandpa built by hand with stones off the ranch, and my couch sits in front of it.
I rarely use the upstairs loft, and my bedroom is down the hall.
“Come on in, I’ll grab some towels.” I toe off my boots and head for the bathroom, leaving a trail of water the whole way.
When I get back to the living room, he’s right where I left him on the entryway tile. I hand Knox a towel and he starts to dry his hair. His jeans are soaked and water drips from the hem of his t-shirt that clings to his chest, showing every cut of muscle underneath.
“I’m going to go change really quick. Do you want to dry your clothes? I think I have some sweats that will fit you while they dry.” I don’t think I have a shirt that will fit, but that’s okay. I have no issues with him going shirtless for the afternoon.
“Yeah, that would be great.” He strips off his shirt.
Yep, I have no issues with this at all.
I head into my bedroom and throw on some joggers and a sweatshirt. After digging around for a minute, I find the sweatpants I think will fit him. They’re old gray joggers from my trips to Estes with Jessie, oversized on me, but they should fit him.
I head out to the living room and give him the sweats. “The bathroom is down the hall on the right. I’m going to make some coffee to warm up. Do you want any?”
“Sure, that sounds good. Do you want me to start a fire after I get changed?”
I glance over at the fireplace to make sure I have dry wood inside. “That would be great.”