Chapter 22 #2
After the fire is started, we both settle on the couch as we sip on our coffees. I grab my blanket and cover up while saying, “You have one more. What’s your third question?”
He yanks the blanket mostly off my lap to cover up with it.
I gasp.
Who does this guy think he is? This is my favorite blanket.
With a huff, I yank it back, then he laughs as he yanks it back to his side. This is a war he won’t win. I pull it back and try to tuck it under my feet. He scootches down the couch so he’s right next to me before pulling it out from under my feet and covering us both with it.
“What question have you always wanted to ask me?” he asks, like the great blanket battle didn’t just happen.
“Ooo, it’s like a reverse in UNO,” I say, making him chuckle. The question I have is one I’ve wondered for a while now. “I guess I’m curious what you want your future to look like.”
He grabs my feet and pulls them across his lap before answering, “I want to win a gold buckle. Being a world champion has always been my career goal. Outside of that, I don’t want anything fancy.
I’d like to find some property to build a home on, find the right woman, and settle down, maybe have a couple of kids.
And never trim another broodmare again.” He winks at me.
I roll my eyes. “Oh please, they aren’t that bad.”
He gives me a look that tells me he thinks otherwise.
“As for your other plans,” I continue, “you say it like it’s not a big deal, but I think it sounds pretty great. How long do you want to ride bulls for?”
“People ask me that all the time and the truth is, I don’t know.
I’m thirty now, so I’m getting older for a bull rider, but I still feel like I’m at the top of my game.
I figure my body will tell me or I’ll wake up one morning and just not want to do it anymore.
All the traveling and time on the road gets old.
It’s hard to maintain relationships and do other things in your life when you’re gone so much. ”
“Is that why you don’t date?” I might have done some internet stalking and noticed he hasn’t had a girlfriend in years. I watch him closely to see if I’ve gone too far with my questioning, but he doesn’t seem bothered. He’s looking straight ahead, watching the flames flick in the fire.
“I used to date, but after my last girlfriend, Megan, and I broke up, I made a rule for myself: No dating until I retire from riding bulls.”
“What did she do to make you come up with such a rule?”
“It’s complicated. When I was home, we had so much fun, but when I was on the road, she would get upset that I wasn’t there for her.
It was like she expected me to be in two places at once.
She wanted to be with a rodeo cowboy but got upset when I wasn’t home.
We worked through it, and I was riding so well I went into the finals as number one in the standings. ” He runs a hand through his damp hair.
“So why did you break up?”
“She came with me to Vegas for the finals and turned into a nightmare. She wasn’t even the same person.
She insisted on going to every red-carpet event or PR party, even when I was tired and just wanted to go back to the room and rest. She took any chance to be in the limelight, loving the fact that she was with the number one bull rider.
But by the end of the finals, I wasn’t number one, I was fourth.
I only rode two bulls, but I should’ve easily ridden six.
I choked. And she left me—publicly—for another cowboy who rode better than I did. ”
“I’m so sorry, Knox. That’s terrible. You didn’t deserve that.”
“I know that now, but it took me a while to get my head back on straight. Thankfully, Trey gave me the kick in the ass I needed, but I haven’t dated since.
I’m not saying I haven’t had a few flings, I’m no monk, but I figured I would find someone after I retired from riding bulls.
This lifestyle is hard on relationships and it’s such a short career.
So, I made the no girlfriend rule and decided to keep my sole focus on riding bulls.
I’ve stuck to that rule for years. Until I met you, and now I'm about one kiss away from scrapping it all together.”
“But why me? I don’t date; I told you that.”
He tucks one leg up onto the couch under mine so he can turn and face me.
“I know. I heard you, but that hasn’t stopped me from thinking about you all hours of the day, from rushing to the ranch to see you and spend time with you.
I understand your hesitation—hell, I have my own reservations.
You know that now, but I can’t stop myself when it comes to you. ”
His blue eyes are sincere, and I want nothing more than to crawl into his arms and admit I feel the same. I can’t stop thinking about him, and I count the hours in the day until I see his truck pull in.
He brings one hand up to cup my face. “I know what I say next is going to scare you because it scares the shit out of me, but I have to say it. I know I’m leaving, but Kace . . . I’ve never felt so drawn to someone and you might not feel the same way but—”
“I feel it,” I blurt out, interrupting him. “But what does it mean for us? You said it, you’re leaving, and you don’t even live here. Your home is in Oklahoma.”
He runs his hand through his hair again, I’ve learned he does that when he’s nervous or frustrated. “I know . . . I don’t know what it means. All I know is I want you. Whatever little bit of time we get. And I know that’s not fair, but it’s all I have to offer.”
When our eyes meet, I can see it. The burning desire, the need to touch me and show me how much he wants me.
I hope he can see it reflected back in my eyes.
I decide at this moment that I don’t care how much time we have.
We have this moment, and I can live with that.
I don’t care if he can’t commit to a relationship.
Hell, I’m terrified of a relationship, anyway.
I climb into his lap and straddle him, putting both my hands on his shoulders.
I feel him tense beneath me for half a second, then his mouth collides with mine.
It’s not a sweet kiss, nor gentle. It’s something that has been building since the day we met, and I don’t think either of us could stop it if we wanted to. It’s all-consuming.
He grips the back of my head with one hand while the other explores every curve. He gets to my hips, and I rock into him, moaning his name.
“Knox.”
He breaks the kiss and starts trailing light kisses down my neck. “Say it again.”
I know what he wants, and I gladly give it to him when he kisses the spot right above my collarbone. “Knox,” I moan and circle my hips, grinding into him again.
His lips meet mine again, and I can feel him through the sweatpants, hard and aching for me.
I run my hands up his chest and fist one hand into his hair. “I need more,” I say between kisses.
He grabs the bottom of my sweatshirt and pulls it over my head. I’m not wearing a bra—it didn’t seem necessary; the sweatshirt is oversized. I hear him suck in a breath before he flips me onto my back so quickly I don’t see it coming.
He looks me in the eyes as he says, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Kacey Hart.” He runs both of his thumbs lightly along the underside of my breasts.
The fire inside of me—the one I’ve been trying to keep at bay since the first day I saw him—is stoking to life. And I’m ready to let it burn.
I grab him and pull him in for a searing kiss.
This man kisses with his whole body. I’ve never felt more exposed and cherished at the same time.
His tongue runs along mine while one of his hands finds the waistband of my sweatpants.
“If you want me to stop, tell me. This only goes as far as you want it to.”
“Don’t stop,” is all I say before I kiss him harder.
He slides his hand into my sweatpants and runs a single finger down my center.
My hips jerk, and he breaks our kiss. His head falls to my shoulder as he groans.
“Sweetheart, you’re soaked.” He circles my clit with his finger, being careful not to apply pressure where he knows I’m dying to have it.
“Did you get wet for me in the barn that day, too?”
“Yes,” I pant. “Knox, please.” I beg, digging my nails into his back and shifting my hips, looking for the pressure I so desperately need.
“Mm-hmm, I love it when you say please.” He finally glides two fingers right where I need them, then moves down, circling one of my nipples with his tongue. “Do you want me to make you come, sweetheart?” he asks, his voice a deep rasp.
“Y-y-yes.”
His mouth moves to my other nipple, and I can already tell, this man is going to ruin me for any other.