Chapter 43
Kacey
I’m so fucking annoyed.
The airline delayed our flight again. The first time it got delayed, we thought we’d still be able to watch the bull riding, we’d just miss most of the rodeo. Now there is no way we’ll get there in time for the bull riding. We won’t land until thirty minutes after it’s over.
I’m so bummed. This is his last rodeo of the season and it’s a prestigious rodeo that is very hard to qualify for.
Knox was so excited when he found out he and Trey both qualified.
There is a lot of money to win, and he said they treat the contestants great.
I just wanted to be there to cheer him on at his last rodeo of the season.
“It’s okay. He rides again tomorrow, and you can still surprise him. Text Trey and do it at a bar or something,” Jessie tries to console me.
“I know. I’ll text him now—he needs a heads up. I have a feeling he’ll have a hell of a time getting Knox to a bar.”
We finally boarded our flight and almost two hours later, landed in Sioux Falls. Just to make a bad day worse, the Wi-Fi on the plane was broken, so we couldn’t watch the rodeo.
Trey and I planned to meet at a bar near the arena as soon as Jessie and I could get there. We practically sprint out of the terminal. When I turn airplane mode off, my phone vibrates several times. I check it in case it’s Trey with a change of plans.
Dad
I’m sorry, bug. Let me know how he is when you can.
Carson
Let me know what the doctors say.
Lainey
I’m so sorry, Kacey. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
Chet
I hope he’s okay. Everyone in the bunkhouse is praying for him.
One missed call from Trey.
Trey
Call me when you land.
What is happening? My heart rate picks up, feeling like it’s about to burst out of my chest. I vaguely hear Jessie over the blood roaring in my ears.
“I’m booking an Uber now.”
I don’t respond to any of them. I can’t breathe. Something happened to Knox.
I open the phone app and tap his name.
It rings.
And rings.
And rings.
Please, pick up. Please. Please, I silently beg him.
“Kacey.”
I suck in a breath, but it’s Trey’s voice, answering Knox’s phone.
My heart plummets.
“Kacey?” he says again when I don’t respond.
“Trey?” I exhale, feeling tears well.
This isn’t happening. Maybe it’s some kind of sick joke.
Jessie turns to look at me. When she sees the tears in my eyes, she knows something is wrong.
“Yeah, I have Knox’s phone. We’re at the hospital. He got in a wreck.” His voice is hoarse; it sounds like he’s in shock. I hear him suck in a breath before he continues. “It was bad.”
Jessie leads me to a bench before I collapse onto the curb.
“Where?” I rasp.
“Sioux Falls Hospital and Medical Center. I’ll text you the address.”
“Is he . . . he’ll be okay, right?” My voice doesn’t sound like my own.
“I don’t know. The trauma team is trying to stabilize him. Jessie is with you, right?”
“Yeah.” I look over at her. She’s watching me, eyes wide.
“Can you pass the phone to her?”
I hand her the phone, and she looks down at the caller ID.
“It’s Trey, Knox is hurt,” I choke out as she holds the phone up to her ear.
“What happened?” she asks in a far calmer tone than I could right now. The nurse side of Jessie kicking in.
Trey says something and she nods. She taps away on her phone, changing the address for the Uber.
I stare blankly at the sidewalk, hearing Trey’s words over and over, “The trauma team is trying to stabilize him.”
“We’ll be there in ten minutes.” Jessie hangs up and grabs my hand.
“Jessie, what if— What if he . . . ” I can’t finish my sentence. I don’t even want to think the thought, it makes my chest tight, and I can’t breathe. I feel the panic setting in and start panting shallow breaths.
“Hey. Hey, don’t think that.” She squeezes my hand. “Breathe, Kacey.”
I suck in a deeper breath, holding it for three seconds as she keeps talking.
“He’s going to be okay. It’s Knox. I’m pretty sure he eats nails for breakfast before going to the gym for five hours.”
All I can do is nod my head and take another breath so I don’t pass out.
“Our Uber is almost here, let’s go.” She grabs both our bags and leads me down to the Uber pickup.
We walk into the hospital and head straight for the front desk, but Jessie stops me. “They won’t tell you anything. You aren’t immediate family. Let’s find Trey.”
Trey jumps to his feet when he sees us enter the waiting room.
He’s pale and has clearly been running his hand through his now-messy hair.
His cowboy hat sits on a chair, his long-sleeve shirt covered in sponsor patches is untucked and wrinkly.
And he’s still wearing his dirty jeans from riding.
You would never guess him to be a pretty boy looking at him right now.
He rushes to me and pulls me into a hug. I’ve been trying to hold it together, but feeling the fear radiating off him pushes me over the edge. I can’t hold it back any longer. Tears start rolling down my face as I sob into his chest.
“Have you heard any news?” Jessie asks what I can’t.
“They won’t give me any details, but I’m going to call his mom when the doctor comes out,” he answers, still holding me upright.
Jessie has us both sit, and I’m able to calm down before we hear, “Ward family?”
A doctor in a white coat is looking around the waiting room. We jump up and Trey dials Knox’s mom, Jen.
“Are you immediate family?” he asks.
“No, we’re his friends—he doesn’t have any family here. We have his mom on the phone,” Trey tells him, and Jen acknowledges the doctor over the phone, asking for an update.
“He’s stable now, we had to put him in an induced coma because of the cerebral edema—swelling on the brain—caused by the concussion.
He also has a lacerated liver, cracked sternum, and we need to do surgery to remove his spleen.
Because of the induced coma and the amount of swelling on his brain, we will admit him into the ICU and monitor him closely after surgery. ”
“Can I see him?” I ask the doctor.
“Not yet. He’s being taken into surgery now. Once he’s out and settled in the ICU, one of you can go back and sit with him.”
“Is there any brain damage?” Jen asks.
“We don’t know yet. The next twenty-four hours will tell us more. Hopefully, the swelling goes down, we can wean him off the medications, and he wakes up.”
The doctor leaves and Jen hangs up to call Knox’s sister.
We sit in the waiting room for what feels like an eternity. Jessie and Trey never leave me alone. Both try to get me to eat or drink something. Jessie texted everyone back on my phone with an update.
All I can do is sit here and replay all the moments he’d smile at me while training Buck.
Or how he kissed me and called me sweetheart.
I can feel the brush of his hands on my arms as he told me, Sweetheart, you deserve to be walked to your door.
You deserve to be told how breathtaking you are.
I can hear him whisper, I promise your heart will always be safe with me.
It’s an honor to be the man who cares for you the way you’ve always deserved.
Then it hits me—I may never be able to hear his voice again. I might not get the chance to tell him I love him.
He can’t die. He can’t.
I need to see his blue eyes when the sunlight hits them. Feel his arms around me as we talk about our dreams for the future. And we will have a future.
I look up at Trey, who is stacking our empty coffee cups on the table next to his chair.
“What happened?”
He gets a faraway look in his eyes, a little bit of fear flashing behind them.
It’s clearly a wreck he doesn’t want to relive again.
“It happened fast. I had just ridden, but I got to his chute just in time to watch him nod. He had a younger bull that was pretty wild; he blew up one big one before turning back. When he came back around, he blew up into the air with a really nasty belly roll that threw off his balance. There wasn’t anything Knox could do.
“The bull flipped sideways, landing right on top of him. Crushing Knox with his entire body weight, plus the force of the fall. It knocked him out on impact, and his hand was still tied to him, but the fall also stunned the bull, so the bullfighters got his hand out quickly before the bull tried to get up. There was no good way to get the bull off of him. Once the bull got up, it stepped all over him. I stayed with him until the ambulance left, then packed our gear and came straight here.”
Trey runs a hand through his hair and down his face like he’s trying to wipe the memory away. “This sport is dangerous, we all know these things can happen, but we always pray they don’t.” Trey looks down at his coffee. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, Kacey.”