Chapter 10
Grace
I wasn’t kidding about wanting a flashback of what we did in the shower last night. And I’m pleased to report that when I roll over, the ache between my thighs is still there and I swear I’ve got phantom dick syndrome because my body feels Dean inside me.
Except he’s not here. The bed is empty beside me and there’s a note on the pillow.
Good morning, gorgeous .
That’s all it says. No mention of where he is, or when he’s coming back, or what I should do in the meantime.
And why should there be any instruction?
“Wow, Grace. He’s not your mother or keeper. He’s your…”
My what? I have no idea. I better figure it out though because we’re about to be roommates for an entire winter.
My brothers would have a fucking heart attack if they knew what I was doing up here. Staying in a cabin with a big lumberjack stranger, on a mountain, in the middle of bumfuck.
Sounds like heaven to me.
Not to mention said big, lumberjack has a dick that altered my brain chemistry last night. And rearranged my organs .
I love that for me.
But Mason and Jackson aren’t going to approve. They can’t seem to get it through their heads that I’m a grown woman and not a baby anymore. Mason dotes on me all the time. Jackson isn’t much better, but he bullies me more than spoils me. If they find out I’m up here, they’ll have a helicopter lift me out.
Which… isn’t a bad option if things go wrong with me and Dean and I need leave earlier than spring.
Huh. That’s a great plan, actually.
Fuck a lumberjack all winter and if it goes south… fly out and never return.
Easy peasy.
You know you don’t need an escape plan, Grace. Dean’s perfect.
“Yeah, I know,” I say to myself. “It’s good to be prepared though, right?”
Right.
Time to get to work. I didn’t post anything new last night, which means I’ve got to make up for it today. I usually schedule posts in advance, but I’ve been making them on the fly since I arrived. My drive and creativity are already petering out though. I’d much rather relax and enjoy myself for a few days before diving back into the next paid partnership I have scheduled.
When I log into the first app, I’m still in my dump account instead of my verified one. Hitting the find feature, I immediately click on MountainWood in the search history.
Wow, Grace, obsessed much?
My pussy pouts when there isn’t anything new from Dean .
Logging out of my dump account, I go into my main one and upload a new video I’d made yesterday. There’s over three hundred thousand notifications and my eyes cross while I sift through them.
I used to try to reply to as many as possible, but it got overwhelming quickly, so now I just pick about ten random ones to answer and have a link to my email for inquiries. It should have streamlined things for me, but many companies still use these other platforms to reach out first. It’s annoying to filter through my DMs all the time.
A new text suddenly pops up, derailing me.
Nicole : Hey girl. How are you?
Guilt gnaws at me because yesterday my bestie called while I was having lunch with Dean and Nick, and I pushed her to voicemail. She knows I haven’t been in a great headspace lately. We’ve both stepped back a little, only checking in when we think it’s necessary.
I love that about Nicole. She’s the perfect best friend. Not too clingy, not too distant. Respectful, fun, and has a heart of gold. She doesn’t get offended when I ghost her for weeks at a time, and I appreciate her patience with me.
Grace : Doing okay. You?
Nicole : Living the dream.
Yes, she is. Nicole’s with two men who dote on her every second of every day and I love that for all three of them.
Nicole : What are you up to?
Grace : Chilling in the mountains.
Nicole : Without me? The audacity.
Grace : Just needed space between me and the Finch life .
Nicole : You mean your horrid mother?
Grace : Yup.
Nicole : Bravo.
Of course she’d be supportive. My mother has put her through some awful shit too and very publicly blew Nicole’s life up once. It was a mess.
Grace : Thanks. Don’t tell anyone though, okay?
Nicole : My lips are sealed. Be careful and have fun.
Grace : Love you.
Nicole : Love you too.
Rolling out of bed, I stagger into the kitchen. Okay, wow, my legs are still wobbly from last night. I swear I’ve never been fucked so hard in my life. My pussy wants another round already.
The scent of freshly brewed coffee wafts up my nose and I find a full pot on the counter along with a mug that has a sticky note on it. Behind me, the fire is crackling with Oscar sleeping in front of it.
My eyes fill with tears.
Okay, no. No, no, no. This is not a home. This is not a glimpse of a life I so desperately want for myself. And these tears? They’re just the aftershocks of having my world rocked last night. That’s all.
“Snap out of it, Grace.”
The note Dean’s left on my mug says, I’m in cabin 4 today.
I have no idea what to do with that. Am I supposed to go see him? I don’t want to be annoying. I also hate the fact that I really wanted to wake up in his arms this morning and didn’t. Ugh. What is wrong with me? I can’t be attached this quick. That’s not okay .
“You’re an idiot,” my mother’s voice jabs in my mind. “Did you think he’d drop everything to be with you, selfish girl? You’re not that special.”
Okay, whoa. I gotta stop letting her fill my head with meanness all the time. That’s one of the things I came up here to work on. “Okay, let’s take some deep breaths. Chill out. Start again.”
I’m going to caffeinate, get dressed, go on a walk, work on some content, and then maybe go see Dean.
Pouring a cup of ambition, I slip into my coat and boots to drink my coffee on the porch. Oscar hears the door open and quickly gets up to join me outside. Instead of sitting next to my rocking chair though, she leaps off the porch steps and runs to Dean’s truck, sniffing all around it before climbing up the steps and knocking on the door with her paw. I watch, waiting for him to let her in. When there’s no answer, I grow worried. Oscar paws the door again and I stand up slowly.
Is something wrong? Why isn’t Dean opening the door for her?
Oscar barks and gets on her hind legs, scratching at the door faster.
I’m spurred into action, leaving my coffee behind, and run to help.
“Dean?” I call out, shoving the door open.
Music blasts from the back and the fireplace kicks out substantial heat. “Dean?”
Oscar zooms past me on a mission.
“Hey girl,” Dean says, sounding surprised to see Oscar. “Oof! Wait. No, no, no! Damnit, Oscar!”
I reach the bathroom just in time to see she’s tackled Dean on the floor and is licking his face. Her tail slams against the glass shower door. Wham! Wham! Wham!
“Alright, alright. Back up.” He rolls away from her, and I giggle when she tries to nudge him back down. “Come on now. You’re fucking up my tile placement.”
“Here, girl.” I clap my hands and Oscar ignores me. “Oscar, come here.” She looks at me, her tail now smacking the cabinet, and then she trots over. “Good girl.”
Dean stands up. “God, she’s slobbery when she’s excited.”
He lifts his shirt up to wipe his face off with it, and I stare at his abs.
My pussy clenches.
“Good morning,” he says, stepping in to kiss my forehead. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes. Did you?”
“No. Your bed is too lumpy.”
A giggle bubbles out of me. “Complain to the owner. Maybe he’ll cut you a price break on your next rental.”
He flashes a big grin that makes me swoon a little. Not only does Dean have a phenomenal smile, but his mouth also does sinful things that I’m dying to experience again.
“What are you doing today?” he asks.
“You, hopefully.”
He cocks his brow. “Wow.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he shakes his head and drops his gaze as if I’ve just made him blush.
“I have some work to do,” I quickly say, changing tactics so I don’t come across as a complete sex fiend. “Thanks for the notes. That was sweet. ”
Dean shrugs. “I didn’t want to wake you, but also didn’t want you to think I ghosted.”
There’s a heaviness to those words. Hmm. Has he ghosted many women, or did they do it to him? I can’t imagine either.
Clearing my throat, I look around and change subjects again. “So, tile.”
Smooth, Grace. Real smooth .
“Just finishing the grout in here. I meant to yesterday, but that prick derailed things and…”
He spent the rest of the day and night with me instead of working. My stomach drops a little. I don’t want to be in the way.
I also don’t want to stay away.
“Do you need help?”
“No. This is dirty work. I don’t want you to get messy.”
“I don’t mind.” I step over the grout tray and grab the spreader thingy. Waggling my eyebrows at him, I drop my voice and say, “You ready to get dirty, baby?”
He looks down, shaking his head. “Fucking hell. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Why?”
He tosses his hands up. “Because I make thirst traps online and now you’ve seen them.”
“Watched them all and supported each one, wholeheartedly.”
He buries his head in his hands, muffling his laugh. “You used a dump account to follow me, didn’t you?”
“Guilty.”
“The Red Sox avatar threw me off, but…”
Yesterday I told him I loved that team .
“Wow… so you’re a stalker ,” he says flirtatiously as he gets closer.
“I’m a supporter.”
“You liked every single one of my videos.”
“See? Supporter.”
“Stalker.”
“Tomato, tomahto.” I smile proudly.
“Does it bother you?”
That makes me pause. “Why would it?”
“A lot of women follow me on that app. I get a lot of attention.”
I’m not a jealous person. “I’d be a hypocrite to be mad at them for doing the same thing I am.”
He cocks his brow. “And what is it you’ve done, Grace?”
There isn’t a snowball’s chance in Hell I’m going to tell him that I’ve masturbated to his videos.
“Oh, must be juicy since you’re turning red.” He wraps his arms around my waist. “What did you do?”
“Nothing.” Bristling in his arms, I splay my hands on his chest. He’s rock solid.
“Nothing, huh?” Dean leans down and nips my neck, spreading heat through my body. “Doesn’t look like it’s nothing.”
“I’m not telling you.”
“Brat.” He nips my skin again, making my knees wobble. Heat floods my pussy. “If you won’t tell me. Show me.”
My heart hammers in my chest as excitement zips through my system.
Backing away, I unzip my coat and tug my leggings down. Then I hop up on the vanity and lean back against the mirror. We stare at each other for a long pause before I dig my phone out of my pocket and open the app. I pull up my favorite video of his and watch it, squirming with need almost immediately.
Dean stands in front of me, his arms braced on either side of my hips, caging me in. Swallowing my nerves, I slip my middle finger in my pussy. His cheeks turn crimson, and eyes darken as he zeros in on my cunt. That fuckable mouth of his slightly parts and his breaths quicken as he watches me finger myself. His video repeats over and over and over while I play with myself. His grip on the vanity tightens when we both hear the wet noises coming from between my thighs. I’ve never preformed like this in front of someone else before.
It’s very freeing.
“That’s it, sugar. Keep going,” Dean says in a deep tone. “Fuck yourself for me.”
He sounds like he’s ready to snap.
My toes curl when I play with my clit. Under his hungry gaze, I pleasure myself to the breaking point. My orgasm rips out of me, fast and furious. I ride it out and sigh as the last pulse of my release fades.
Dean gently grabs the hand between my thighs and brings it to his lips, sucking my digits clean. Then he closes his eyes and groans. “Fuck, woman.” He drops to his knees and hooks my legs around his head. “You’re making me insatiable.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Dean feasts on my pussy, delving two fingers inside me while he flicks my clit with his tongue. I’m already too sensitive, so my next orgasm comes quickly.
“Don’t stop.” I grip the top of his head and grind myself against his mouth. He rips another orgasm out of me that leaves me breathless. I think I’m going to pass out.
He kisses my cunt and inner thighs before rising up to take my mouth. Before Dean, I’d never kissed someone with my juices on their tongue before. It’s strange and exciting. His beard scrapes my skin, and I feel wetness there too. I’ve made a mess all over his face.
When he pulls back, his smile is huge. “I’ll be making a lot more videos.”
The groan I give him is shameful.
I love that he’s so proud of himself for turning me on this much.
“About that…” I push him back playfully, hop down, and fix my clothing. “I have some ideas.”
“Oh yeah?” He wraps me in a warm hug. “What kinds of ideas?”
“About how to make you more money.”
He freezes against me. Then he backs away. “I’m fine with money, Grace.”
“Bullshit.”
The warmth we made vanishes in the bathroom. I almost feel bad about it, but business and pleasure can’t be mixed. We’ve had our pleasure. Time for business. “Hear me out.”
Dean steps away to pick up the grout pan and shovel. I’ve clearly hit a sore subject, but if he’d just listen to my ideas, he’d be better off.
“I can set you up with a few endorsements,” I say, already feeling like an asshole for ruining our good morning. “And when you’re ready, when this property is ready, I’ll blast it on my social media.”
He huffs like that’s not going to make a damn bit of difference. “Sugar, your followers aren’t—”
Before he can finish that sentence, I open my biggest account and shove the screen in his face. “I make bank doing this, Dean. I know what I’m talking about. And my followers have money. Say the word, and I’ll post and tag videos and pictures of Bear Creek Cabins all over the place and they’ll flock here in droves. Because yes, I have that kind of pull as an influencer. What I touch turns to fucking gold.”
He's so still, I’m not sure he’s even breathing.
Dean stares at my phone screen, and something tells me he’s seen all this before. He must have looked me up already. “None of this is news to you, is it?”
Annoyance flares in my cheeks because now I feel like a bragger.
“I’m not going to use you like that, Grace.”
“It’s not using if I’m offering.”
He shakes his head and starts grouting. “I can’t owe you.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Insulted, I stuff my phone back in my pocket and close my coat. When he doesn’t answer me, I storm away, but he catches my arm before I’m out the front door.
“It means I can’t stop thinking about you.” His expression turns painful. “It means when you leave, it’s gonna hurt like hell. And if I go down the road of owing you… I’ll never stop. I’ll take whatever you give me, just to keep you tied to me somehow, and that’s unfair to you.”
That’s… romantically creepy.
“Ever since you pulled up to my property, I can’t get you out of my head, Grace.”
In an effort to not let his confession mean so much, I play it off. “Don’t worry. It’s just a phase. You’ll get sick of me, eventually.”
“No.” His tone grows even more serious. “I don’t think I will. And that fucking terrifies me.” The rawness in his gaze has my heart holding its breath. I have no idea what to say to that. Suddenly, Dean’s eyes grow cold. “You should go.”
“What? No.” I can’t let him push me away. Not when I’m starting to feel good, for once.
“Grace,” he whispers, and I can’t tell if it’s a prayer or a curse.
So I say the first thing that comes to my mind. “No one’s ever looked at me like you do.”
He freezes. “How do I look at you?”
“Like…” I reach out and run my fingers through his dark hair. “This.”
I can’t explain it. I can’t understand this connection we’re growing. I don’t want to overthink it either. It’ll make me run and I have nowhere else to go. Nowhere else I’d rather be.
It’s just a tryst , I remind myself. This is only a fun affair. Nothing more will come of it. He’s right, when I leave in the spring, I’ll have to go back to Manhattan and leave him here on this mountain.
The reality that I’ll leave him at all makes my stomach clench.
You’re a mess, Grace. Stop acting like you’re in love. You don’t know him. He’s just a good lay .
I’m not in love with this man. But I could easily get there.
The way he looks at me. The safety I feel when I’m with him. The happiness I got just reading a dumb sticky note. The way he ran to my rescue yesterday with Bryson, and the night before that with the raccoon.
Even the barbeque sauce .
A future with this man plays out in my mind... Waking up to spectacular mountain views. Mowing the grass and taking Oscar for walks by the stream. Remodeling these cabins into dream getaway rentals. Making dinner together. Shooting pool at the bar on the weekends with friends. Getting snowed in and fucking in front of the fire. Curling up in his arms during thunderstorms. Talking him into getting baby chicks in the spring. Having bonfires. Eating breakfast in bed. Stacking wood while he chops it. Showering a hard day’s work off our bodies together. Swimming in the creek.
Every day with this man would be the hardest work, and easiest life imaginable. Simple, sweet, and separate from the awful universe I live in now.
The way he looks at me doesn’t just say he wants to fuck me.
It says he wants to take care of me.
There’s a loneliness in him that I recognize all too well. Tears prick my eyes when I beg, “Let me take care of you, too.”
I can’t read his mind. There’s no way to tell what he feels. Dean’s got a mask in place, and I’m worried I’ve fucked things up already.
“Let me help you,” I practically beg.
“On one condition,” he says in a low, soft, gruff voice.
“Anything.”
“When it’s over and you leave… don’t ever come back.”