35. Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Two
Lila
I once thought I would adjust to the lights and cameras, but I never did. And sometimes, after a long day of work, they just became too much.
I knew when I saw the crowd outside of Malia’s office that it was going to be a lot. I felt raw, both from her figuring out my secret and the way we had to go through every connection someone could find. Talking about my double identity so openly wasn’t something I was used to. By the time I was done, I hoped the crowd had diminished to the point that I could dart to the car and get out of there.
No luck.
My usual armored car was waiting for me, and everyone knew exactly what that car meant. Juno was inside, anticipating a speedy getaway.
Another one of my security guards, hired by Malia, flanked me as I was led to the car.
It was a frenzy of lights and sounds. People called my name, they said Blaze’s name, and they even called me a whore to my face to get a reaction. LA paparazzi were of another breed, and it felt like they were sapping away all of my energy today.
At first, it was chaos that I could manage. But then as I neared the car, they upped the intensity.
One got too close, shoving my security guard so they could get a picture of my face showing any emotion. I jerked away, but my obvious fearful expression egged them on because now they had a photo they could sell.
My guard shouted, which meant nothing good for me, and I nearly fell against the car as I tried to escape. The guard pushed, and then someone yelled at him for stepping in. A new kind of chaos erupted behind me.
But then the door to the car opened and a hand—a lifeline—pulled me to safety. I looked up. Barry had gotten halfway out of the car and pulled me to him. He was in sunglasses and a hat, thankfully disguised, and I collapsed into his steady, warm weight.
He slammed the door behind me and everything was muffled by the car.
“Juno, can we get some privacy?” he asked.
I’d had a privacy glass installed long ago, back when I thought I might change in cars.
“Of course. I swear, if I didn’t have to be the dang getaway driver . . .?” She trailed off as she rolled up the window.
I let out a breath of relief as the car moved.
Barry’s arm tightened around my waist and I realized I was sprawled into his lap.
“Thank you,” I said. “We may have to pay for that later when we explain it to Malia, but thank you.”
“They’re fucking vultures. I shouldn’t have ever left you by yourself.”
The realization that he’d saved me from them did unfair things to my body. Barry had no problem being in all of this with me. He was interwoven in everything now, and I couldn’t bear to even dream of life without him in it. I usually loved touring, but the idea of him returning to Nashville made me want to follow him and set up camp there.
“I’m fine now,” I said, leaning into him. “All because of you.”
My hand rested on his neck and it hit me how intimate this position was. “Do you want me to move?”
His hands tightened on my hips. “Absolutely not.”
My heart rate slowed as I listened to his heartbeat. Was this what love was? Feeling so calm and protected that I could be myself anywhere?
I shifted slightly, pulling myself closer to him. It was then I felt his hardness beneath me.
“Sorry,” he said. “I know you’re stressed, so don’t worry about—?”
I kissed him. My stress was gone, taken away by his embrace, and now that it was just the two of us, I wanted him, just like I always did.
He pulled away, hand on my cheek. “Are you okay?”
“I am. I think I just needed you.”
“I’m always happy to be of service to you, sunshine.”
“You’re just saying that because you know people are going to call you my bodyguard again.”
He cracked a smile. “And it’s funny even now.”
“You know,” I said absentmindedly, “no one can hear anything back here. Or see anything. It’s a thirty-minute drive back to my place.”
“And what do you propose we do?” His voice was low now and his breath ghosted over my ear.
“Anything you want,” I said, rolling my hips back into him.
“It’s a good thing you wore this dress. Pink is a stunning color on you.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but his hand had found easy access to my inner thighs. All I could muster was a gasp as his finger brushed my underwear.
He could have asked to fuck me right then and there and I would have said yes, but he took his time, touching the areas so close to where I wanted him while his lips kissed my neck. “You’re so fucking beautiful in dresses.”
Maybe I should go through my closet and get rid of all of my T-shirts and pants. That sounded like a great idea.
But then, all thoughts flew out the window when his fingers slid under my underwear.
“B-Barry,” I moaned.
“What?”
“I need you to touch me now .”
With a chuckle, he moved my underwear aside and his fingers finally did what I wanted them to. I was more than ready for his touch. Barry grazed up and down and I rested my head on his shoulder. Heat pulsed from my core, making me ride his hand even as the car moved.
But I knew this wasn’t going to be enough. My thighs clenched around nothing and I was desperate to be filled.
“I want you to fuck me.”
“Not until you come first.”
“I won’t until you’re inside of me. Please, Barry?”
“You’re impatient today.”
“If we’re going to do this in a limo, then I want to fuck.”
“Whatever you want. Lift your hips, sunshine.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. The second I moved, he unzipped his pants. I held my underwear aside so I could feel his cock press in at my entrance.
“Don’t take it slow,” I said. “I want it all.”
And he didn’t. He pushed into me with one ruthless thrust. My body burned in pleasure as I made room for his cock.
“All of these people want a look at you,” he said, pushing impossibly deeper inside of me. “But I have you like this.”
Oh, fuck. How did I form words? I’d forgotten.
“Touch yourself, sunshine,” he said. “Come on my cock.”
His hips rocked up, sending him even deeper inside of me, and I found my clit, letting his movements move me into my hand.
This was the most pleasurable form of torture. My body was wound up, desperate for release, and his cock was hitting the most sensitive parts as he ground upward.
“I won’t last long,” I said, my voice desperate.
“Neither will I.” His strain finally hit his voice. The car was moving, going up a bumpy road that disguised his thrusts. He moved harder and I gasped as I tumbled over the edge of a cliff.
My body exploded, tiny fireworks shooting out from my clit, through my core, up my spine. My vision whited out and my orgasm continued for as long as he was moving.
“Fuck,” he said, and with one last thrust, he came too.
Barry and I only had seconds to catch our breaths before we pulled into the driveway. We rushed to get all of our clothes back into their proper places before anyone caught onto what we’d just done.
That was staying our little secret.
Barry
Pulling Lila into the car had been a split-second decision, just like having sex with her right then and there had been too. While I knew no one—not even Juno—could see us, the other things I’d done were far more obvious.
The photos from outside Malia’s office were everywhere instantly and I foolishly thought my disguise would work. It mostly did.
I was known as a mystery man, exactly as planned.
But I forgot about my family who wouldn’t be fooled by a hat and sunglasses.
Ruth called three hours after the photos had dropped.
“Hey,” I said as I picked up the phone. Lila was in another room, working on a virtual meeting about her costumes for the concert. “If this is about family dinner, I can’t come this week.”
“I figured because I’m pretty sure you’re in LA right now.”
I froze for a second. “And why would you say that?”
“Because you’re pictured pulling Lila Wilde into a car, with the caption, ‘Her new savior,’ which is really fucking sexist, by the way.”
“Who the fuck printed that?”
“Did you forget the part where you deny it’s you?”
“Would you believe me if I did?”
“Absolutely not. Your disguise isn’t going to work on me or Tom.”
I let out a long sigh. “First of all, no one was supposed to see me.”
“That’s how it always starts,” she said. “But that’s not the biggest problem here. What does Rose think about all of this, Barry?”
“Rose?” I asked. “Why would she care?”
“Because you said you’re with her,” Ruth snapped. “You’re my brother and I’d like not to have to kill you for cheating.”
I’d completely forgotten I had said that, but then again, I never thought I would be in LA helping Lila practice for her tour.
“She knows, Ruth. Of course she knows. She’s fine with it.”
“And does she know about your past with Lila?”
“Yes.”
“Really? I don’t get how she wouldn’t be worried about this.”
“You can even call her up and ask her when she’s free. I’m an open book.”
“Maybe I will. Give me her number.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear to send a message. “Sent it to you through text.”
“Thanks. I’ll follow up with her soon. Why are you in LA anyway? I thought you were done with Lila.”
“She . . . she needed help on something with her tour, and considering I know most of her songs, I was a good stand-in while they look for someone else.”
A gross feeling settled in my stomach. I hated not telling the whole truth to Ruth. She didn’t deserve to not know the whole story, but this also wasn’t my secret to keep or not keep.
“Interesting. Where’s Rose?”
“Here too. We’ve figured it all out. Everything’s fine.”
“It better be,” she warned. “And besides, I have more questions for you. Mom called.”
“God, what could she want?”
“She wanted to know if you and Wilfred had met. Obviously, he isn’t talking to her, and I didn’t say anything either. But I want to know more at least. So, how did it go?”
“I already told you it went fine.”
“Come on, other than threatening to kill you if you cheat on your girlfriend, I haven’t done anything to warrant you going back into your shell. Can’t you talk to me? You’ve been so tight-lipped about Wilfred to me and Tom. Even at the party.”
“There isn’t much to say.” Another lie. Wilfred might have been the coolest person I’d met in a long time, and despite how busy I’d been, I’d wondered what he would think of all of this. Would he be proud? Or would he be like the man who I thought was my father?
I shook the thought out of my head the moment I had it. Wilfred was not like Todd Murray in any way. It was almost unfair to him even to think that.
Ruth sighed. “Fine. Then, is there anything we can catch up on? I’ve mostly been talking to Tom, and he’s only been talking about kids and marriage, which is fun for a while, but I need him to propose already so I can start planning with Selena.”
“You’re going to plan it?”
“I’m going to help, at least. Selena is a kind and sensitive soul. I’m worried she’ll get eaten alive by the wedding industry and I want to be the kind sister-in-law on her shoulder telling them all to fuck off.”
“Uh huh, and what about your wedding? When is Knox going to ask?”
“Probably soon, considering we’ve been talking about kids.”
“What?”
“Didn’t I tell you?”
“You absolutely did not.”
“This is what you get for going to help your super famous friend. You get left out!”
“When did this get decided?”
“Like a few weeks ago, I think. But it’s not something we’re going to actively try for or anything. If it happens, it happens.”
“That’s a very relaxed way of going about it for the woman who once tracked how many times I came out of my room.”
“I can be relaxed. Mostly. I only had a few freak-outs about it, and then I was fine.”
“That sounds more like the Ruth I know,” I said, chuckling.
“Now, what the hell is going on in your life? I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever and seeing you in the news really didn’t make any sense.”
“Nothing much, other than helping Lila and checking in on the bar. It feels weird to be away from it. I can’t wait to get back.”
“Enjoy your LA time. I bet the people you work with have it covered. You only ever say good things about them.”
“They’re great, but it’s my bar. I can’t just up and leave.”
“So responsible,” she said. “Who even are you anyway?”
I rolled my eyes. “Very funny.”
“Glad to hear from you, Barry. Seriously. And if you break Rose’s or Lila’s hearts, I will end you.”
“And I would let you,” I replied, knowing it was the truth.
Once I got off the phone, I went to mine and Wilfred’s texts.
Barry: Hey. Hope you’re okay.
It took him a few minutes to respond.
Wilfred: I’m goob.
Wilfred: These buttons on this danm keyboard are too small
And then he called.
“I can’t text, kid,” he said, sighing. “I can’t do it for the life of me.”
I laughed. “It’s fine. I was just checking in.”
“Things are good here. I’ve got the plants planted. Been spending time outdoors, which is always good for the soul.”
“I haven’t been spending any time outside, but I’ve also been doing something good for the soul. I didn’t realize how much I liked playing music until now.”
“Really? You’re playing more?”
“All the time. I could really do this kind of thing forever.”
“Sounds like it’s a dream come true then. I don’t know if you want my advice—?”
“I do,” I cut in, surprising even myself with the sincerity of it. “I do want your advice.”
“When you find something that you love as much as breathing, do whatever you can to follow it. You’ve only got one life, kid. And if you do it right, you’ll only ever need the one.”
“Even if it’s not what other people do?”
“ Especially if it’s not what other people do. Be different. It’s what makes us all interesting.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I needed to hear that. But I have ties in Nashville. I don’t think any of this is simple.”
“It’s often not. But life has a funny way of working out sometimes. Maybe things will end up exactly as they should. Give it time and give it your all. You don’t know if you don’t try.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” I couldn’t see myself leaving the bar, but I couldn’t see myself walking away from this forever, either. My life felt split in two, an echo of what Rose had to go through every single day.
And I would have to figure out how to do it without creating a secret identity.