36. Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lila
R ose’s phone rang right after my meeting ended. It was a number I didn’t recognize. I bit my lip, no clue who it could be—but it was a Nashville area code.
“Rose!” Ruth’s voice said the second I pressed accept. The name sounded wrong when I still had the wig on my head. “Hi, sorry to bother you like this, but I have something to bring up with you in the interest of the girl code.”
“The girl code?” I asked. I checked my watch and saw I only had ten minutes until my next meeting, but this was Ruth. I’d make do.
“Yes. Listen, I may love my brother, but I will ruin his life if he’s a cheater. You know what I mean?”
I blinked, confused. “Um, that’s really nice?”
“Did you know he’s in contact with Lila Wilde?”
My eyes widened. “How did you know?”
“I can recognize my brother even if he’s disguised. And if we’re being honest, the disguise is so fucking suspicious. Why would he need to hide?”
“Probably all the cameras?” I offered. “And it’s okay. I know.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, of course. Barry and I are fine.”
“Are you sure ? I know how to kick his ass, you know.”
“It’s fine. I trust him. He doesn’t feel that way about her.”
“But they had a thing not too long ago.”
I winced. On the one hand, it was sweet that she cared so much, but on the other, I wished she didn’t notice everything . “Yeah, I knew about that too. Things are different now.”
“How so?”
“Um.” I struggled to come up with an answer. The only thing that made sense was one reason that was very untrue. “We talked about it, and he said she was . . . too much.”
This was a terrible excuse. Worst one I could have thought of.
“Really? He seemed so ready . . . Never mind. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about his ex.”
“No, it’s okay. I know how he felt. We’re all good.”
Ruth hummed. “Okay, then. If you’re cool with it, then I have nothing to worry about.”
“It’s really sweet that you called,” I said. “Most people would have just kept it to themselves.”
“I’m definitely not that kind of person. Not when someone could get hurt, that is. And besides, I like you. I think you’re good for him.”
“Thanks,” I said. I rechecked my watch; I was running out of time. “Can I maybe call you later? I have a work thing to do.”
“Oh, shoot. I do too. I was too busy making sure my brother wasn’t an asshole that I forgot about my next ass to kick. I’ll keep your number if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, of course. We’ll talk soon.”
I hung up after saying goodbye, nervous about how close Ruth was to both sides of me and how much Barry had been seen with Lila.
This was getting messy again and I had no idea how to begin cleaning it up without telling everyone who I was.
Thankfully, I was distracted by Lila’s phone ringing this time.
“Hey,” I said to Malia, trying to put on a happy smile, pushing away my thoughts. “Nice to talk to you for the second time today. How did talent scouting go?”
“For once, very good. Are you free to meet me right now? I know this was supposed to be a phone meeting, but I think Justice found the perfect guitarist.”
I peered into the living room where Barry was lounging, practicing chords as if they were second nature. I waved to get his attention and pointed to the door. He nodded and grabbed his hat.
“Yeah, Barry and I will be there as soon as we can.”
Mickey Richardson had dazzled everyone else around me. He was a man with greasy black hair pushed back, reminding me of an unwashed Blaze. His face made me wonder what he was truly thinking about.
With the way his eyebrows kept wiggling at me, I wondered if the thoughts were appropriate.
But he knew how to play all of Lila’s songs.
“I think he’s the one,” Justice said, leaning over to me.
Something in my chest turned. I wasn’t so sure, but after working with almost a hundred people throughout my career, I knew we had to choose someone, and fast.
And I knew I was being influenced by how his wiry frame and flirty expression reminded me of my ex.
“Yeah, I think he could work.” The lie felt wrong on my tongue, but when Justice turned to ask about his availability, I gave him a smile.
Mickey’s eyes were on me and they felt hungry in the grossest way. I looked away, unable to keep eye contact.
It’s just his looks. Everyone else likes him.
Mickey wound up having the perfect availability and could start immediately. I hid my disappointment.
“Welcome to the band,” I said. “We’re lucky to have you.”
“No, we’re lucky to have you . I can’t wait to get started.”
I looked back down, ignoring my instinctual reply to his words, and instead, turned to Barry. He was in the very back of the auditorium. His lips were pursed and I wondered what he thought of this new man.
Maybe Barry was happy to leave. I knew he was itching to get back to his bar and his work, and I didn’t blame him for that. I only hoped he was going to miss me as much as I was going to miss him.
Mickey left shortly after, promising to see us all again, and I beelined for Barry.
“What did you think?”
“He knows the stuff.”
“Do you get a weird vibe from him?” I asked lowly.
“Yes, and as much as I’d love to tell you not to hire him based on that, I might just be jealous that someone else is going on tour with you.”
“You know he’s not going to replace you, right? We’ll talk every night.”
“I know, which is why I’m reining it in. I have the bar and you have this. We have to be separated sometimes.”
“It sucks, though.” I smiled at him, but we could both tell I was forcing it. “When do you need to go back?”
“I have no idea. Audrey and Liam haven’t had any issues. Every update they give me is good. But I do know they’re the kind of people who would take on way too much to give me a break.”
“Do you think they’d be okay with you staying one more night?” I wouldn’t have been angry if he told me no, but I was desperate for just a little longer with him. “You could head out first thing in the morning.”
He thought about it for a moment. “I think I can do that. I couldn’t get back in time to help them with tonight’s rush anyway.”
I nodded, grateful for every extra second he would give me.
As we drove home, my mind was bustling with all the things I wanted to do with him, whether it be sex, cuddles, watching a movie, or simply writing a song together.
Once I had the last idea, however, it wouldn’t leave.
“I know this is our last night,” I asked as we pulled into the garage, “but I have this song idea . . . about saying goodbye. Would you kill me if I said I wanted to write it with you?”
“Absolutely not. Where’s your notebook?”
I dreaded every second of the drive to the airport. Somehow, I managed to keep my cool even as we pulled up.
Lyrics we’d just written last night played in my head, things like I don’t want you to go and come back forever .
“Well, I guess this is it for a while.” My voice cracked. “At least for you staying with me. I have a week-long break two months into the tour. I’ll come see you then.”
“Of course. I’ll be waiting.”
My lip wobbled, and as much as I didn’t want to cry, I could feel the tears forming.
“Come on,” he said, his hand trailing my face. “Don’t cry, sunshine. I won’t be able to leave if you do.”
“I just . . . like having you around. I hate separating.”
“It’s just for a few months. We can call each other.”
“It’s not the same,” I protested. His lips pressed together and I could see him take a second look in the direction of the security line.
But as much as I wanted him to stay, I knew he couldn’t.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know it’ll be okay. I’ll just miss you, and I’m not used to that.”
“I’ll miss you too,” he replied. “Every day.”
My eyes watered again, but I nodded, pulling him into a tight hug. I took in everything I could, his scent, the feel of his shoulder pressing into my cheek, in some hope that I would remember this forever.
I love you.
The words sprung forth in my mind and I immediately knew how true they were. They settled into me, a realization that I had been barreling toward since the second I met him.
I could have said so, but something else told me he wouldn’t board his plane if those words left my lips.
And I refused to be the reason he walked away from something he’d spent years building.
“Have a good flight,” I said instead.
“I will. I’ll call you when I land.”
But I wished he had said I love you.
“One more thing,” I said, clearing out the emotion from my throat. “I have something for you.”
“What is it?”
“Tickets to you know who’s first show here in LA.”
“What are these for?”
“You worked hard on this album and on this tour. If you can swing it, I’d love for you to see it. I’ve included enough for you to invite friends if you want to.”
He slowly took the envelope. “So, I’ll be seeing you again sooner.”
“If you come,” I said. “I’d love to see your reaction to all of it.”
“I’ll be there, I promise.”
And that sounded as close to an I love you as I would get.
It was almost enough.
Barry
I usually found my home charming and comforting. I liked seeing the tourists in cowboy hats or the neon signs of Broadway.
But I quickly realized I didn’t want to be here.
I gripped my phone like a lifeline, letting Rose know I was back safe and sound. I had a mountain of work to do to get reacclimated to the bar. My first stop should have been checking in with my employees to be sure everything was okay. I probably should’ve reached out to Ruth and Tom to make sure everything was fine with them too.
Instead, I went straight to my apartment.
Lying on my bed, I thought back to the last few weeks in LA, about how much I loved to play with Lila’s band, and how much I enjoyed spending every second with Rose that I could. It had been heaven, like living in a dream I didn’t even know I had.
I was reaching for my guitar before I could stop myself.
The routine for Lila’s tour was second nature. I went through the opening chords, feeling it all flow out of me as if I were really there.
I didn’t hear the knock at the door or the turn of the key. I only noticed anyone was in my apartment when I heard clapping.
I jumped, my focus broken.
Liam and Audrey were in the living room. “What the—how did you two get in?”
“The key under the doormat. It works for both the back door and your apartment.” Audrey shrugged as if she hadn’t broken in.
“We saw your car,” Liam explained. “You’re back now?”
“Yep. My work is done.”
They shared a look. “Is it? You were still practicing.”
“Yeah,” I replied. “I was just doing it out of habit.”
“It sounded great,” Liam said.
“Thanks. I’m certainly better than I was.”
“Gonna use it onstage?”
The idea of stepping on a stage, even the one I’d made at Movers and Shakers, sent a wave of nausea through me.
I couldn’t deny the fact that I knew exactly what stage I wanted to be on.
“No, I’ll probably take a break.”
“Are you okay?” Liam asked. “You seem . . . down.”
“I’m good,” I replied. “Ready to get back to work.”
They exchanged another look, but I stood and put my guitar down. “Okay,” Audrey said. “Let’s go downstairs. I don’t have much to catch you up on, but I’m sure you’re eager to know how everything went.”
“I am. Let’s go.”
I followed them down to the first floor. She went over the new schedules she made and how we’d done financially. I could see for myself how well the higher guest list count was working.
But I wasn’t all there. I’d left a part of me in LA with the woman of my dreams.
And my soul was longing to be put back together.