Chapter 26 Ace
Ace
“I just have one question,” she says coolly. “Did you tamper with my birth control pills?”
I yank at the restraints, but to no avail. Two pairs of fuzzy handcuffs we bought for fun on our honeymoon. This crazy ass woman really bound me up. I’m so fucking throwed right now.
"Did you drug me?"
She stares blankly.
“Untie me.”
She doesn’t even react to that. “Did you tamper with my pills?”
“No. Now untie me.”
She sighs through her nose like I’m her kid who brought home a bad grade. “Ace. I don’t wanna hurt you. But I will. You know I will. Now tell me what I wanna know and I’ll let you go.”
“How bout you untie me and we can talk things out like adults.”
She shakes her head. “It’s too late for that.”
“What does that mean?”
“I gave you plenty of chances to talk to me, and you chose otherwise. So here we are.”
“Here we are? Are you fucking kidding me? You say that like this is the normal progression. You know this shit is crazy, right?”
“What I know is that you aren’t going anywhere until I get the truth.”
How the fuck did she figure it out? Or did Tori tell her?
“What would make you think I did something to your shit?”
Her face falls, loosening into an expression of pure hatred. It’s worse than when she first met my parents. It’s even worse than when I broke up with her. This shit here is scary as fuck.
“Talk to me, Ray Ray.”
But there’s no smile this time. “Fuck you,” is what she says in lieu of smiling. “I’m pregnant, you piece of shit. That’s what makes me think you did something.”
It takes everything in me not to smile. And yell. I’d pump my fists if my hands weren’t tied. This is exactly what I wanted. This was my fucking dream.
Yeah, but I can’t react to that, because she’s staring me dead in my eye, just waiting for a sign that I’m guilty so she can…I don’t even know what she’s gonna do, but that knife is still nice and snug between her fingers.
Funny thing is, she looks adorable right now. She's wearing one of my hoodies and a pair of sweatpants. A casual look I usually love on her. But it's scary to me now, because she's dressed for getting her hands dirty.
“Baby. Listen to me. However this happened, it’s a blessing. Right? Babies are a blessing.”
“Not this one.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because if you did this to me, it’s basically rape.”
“What? Fuck outta here with that, Raya.”
“Getting me pregnant against my will? Forcing my body to do something it doesn’t wanna do? That’s rape. And I would know. I’m the expert on it, right?”
Fuck. I can’t argue with that, and even if I could, I wouldn’t.
I honestly don’t know how that never occurred to me. She’s been through so much, probably more than I even know about. This has to feel pretty fucking bad for her in light of her past. Damn. I missed that completely.
But what’s done is done.
“Raya. Baby, I love you. And we wanted this eventually, right? So it happened a little sooner. We’ll just make the best of it.”
Something about that sets her off. She stands abruptly and walks over to me, standing directly over my body with the knife pointed down at my chest.
“It didn’t just happen, Ace. And you know that. So what you’re gonna do is tell me the truth, and then I’ll let you go.”
I stare at the blade, then up at her face. “You wouldn’t hurt me.”
Her eyebrows lift. “I wouldn’t?”
“Baby. Stop playing and untie me. We both know you won’t hurt me.”
The words are barely out of my mouth before she brings the knife down and slashes it across my bare stomach. It happens fast as hell, stunning me to complete silence.
I stare down at the cut, at the blood seeping out of it. It’s not deep, but it hurts, and now the mental safety net I thought I had is gone. Apparently, she will hurt me.
“I think you think I’m playing,” she grits. “I’m not fucking playing with you, Ace. Tell me what the fuck you did, or the next one will be on your wrist.”
“Raya—“
“I’ll tell people you killed yourself. I might even get away with it.” She points the knife at my neck this time. “Tell me. Now.”
“Fine. Yeah. I fucked with your pills.”
I’m so busy staring at her face, I miss the fact that she switched the knife from her right hand to her left. She hauls off and slaps the everloving shit out of me. She hits me so hard, my head snaps to the left. The whole side of my face throbs, and all I can do is lay here and take it.
I’m bracing myself for another hit when she walks to the end of the bed and sits, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
“Why would you do this to me?” she says, but it doesn’t feel like she’s talking to me anymore.
“What kind of man would do this to his wife?”
“Raya—“
“Ace, you know I’m gonna kill it, right? Do you realize that?”
The thought of that makes my stomach twist, but I say nothing.
“I don’t know how far along I am, but I think Georgia goes up to six weeks. If I’m past that, I’ll go to another state if I have to. Or I could just kill myself.”
“Come on, Raya.”
“Fuck you. Fuck you and your fucking baby.” She sets the knife on the bed next to her and turns to face me. “Do you not understand how bad this is? You betrayed me. You basically raped me. This is…this is really the worst thing you could ever do to me. And you say you love me?”
“Hold up. Honestly, right now, I don’t feel that much sympathy for you.”
Her eyes go wide. “Excuse me?”
“It lowkey feels like you’re gaslighting me. Because for you to be some innocent victim, we’d have to pretend like you didn’t fucking stalk me for two years, blow up my sister’s car, send my father a sex tape, and shoot my goddamn coworker.”
She frowns at that. “Sex tape? What sex tape?”
“Don’t play.”
“No, seriously. What are you talking about?”
“The sex tape my father showed me when he came up to my job right before Christmas? You had my dick in your mouth. Does that ring a fucking bell?”
“Oh my God!” Her hand flies to her mouth. “I swear on my life, I did not mean to send that!”
“I don’t believe shit you say.”
“If you don’t believe anything else, believe that. Ace, I’m telling you. That was an accident.”
I stare at her through narrowed eyes and a lens of suspicion. “What about Veronica?”
“Yes, absolutely," she says immediately. "I still had your gun, so I just swung past there after lunch and shot at her. But I swear to God, I did not send that tape.”
We sit in silence for a minute. I don’t know about her and what she’s thinking, but I’m processing the fact that I was wrong about the tape but right about the attempted murder.
I can’t decide which one is worse, or why I’m relieved right now, because no matter which way you slice it, my wife is fucking crazy.
“Okay. I apologize,” I finally say.
“For?”
“For messing with your pills.”
“And you did that because you thought I sent a sex tape to your dad?”
“And you shot at my coworker because…why, exactly?”
She shrugs. “I was mad. Either you were fucking her, or you were hiding her from me because you don’t trust me. Both are equally hurtful.”
I blow out a breath, shaking my head as the realization sets in. “Why the fuck are we like this?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about how fucked up we are as a couple. And as individuals.”
She stares into space for a while before her gaze moves back to my face.
“In one of my classes, we talked about the concept of social constructs. Do you know what that is?”
“I’m an engineer. I took math and science.”
“Well, basically, everything is made up.”
“Okay. Where are you going with this?”
She sighs. “You asked why we’re both fucked up. What I’m saying is that maybe ‘fucked up’ is relative. You know what I mean?”
I shake my head.
“Who’s to say what normal even is? It’s like, okay, basically, at some point, we all collectively decided that ‘normal’ in a relationship is XYZ. So then when two people get together and do JQ7, suddenly it’s fucked up and it’s a problem. But what if JQ7 is healthier than XYZ?”
“What class was this?”
“Do you get what I’m saying? Like, maybe we’re not fucked up. Maybe this is just who we are.”
“You just told me I raped you and then stabbed me in the stomach.”
“You’re being dramatic," she says with an eyeroll. "It’s basically a papercut.”
“Look, we can talk some more about philosophy—“
“Sociology.”
“Whatever. We can talk about whatever you want after you untie me. I admitted what I did. You said you’d let me go after that.”
“Did you forget that I’m a liar?”
My eyes stay fixed on her as she paces back and forth in front of me. She’s thinking of her next move.
I need to think about mine.
“How long are you gonna keep me like this?”
She hums I don’t know without missing a step.
“Is this about your mother?”
That stops her in her tracks.
“Because if you think you’ll be a bad mother because she was, I disagree. I’ve seen you care about people, Raya. You can love a child.”
“First of all, bitch, my mother wasn’t a bad mother. She was selfish. And guess what? So the fuck am I.”
“A lot of people are selfish before they have kids.”
She glares at me. “I know you’re happy about this. I can see it in your eyes, you little bitch.”
“Ease up on the name calling. I haven’t disrespected you.”
“Forcing me to get pregnant isn’t disrespect?”
“Okay, but—“
“I’d rather you call me a bitch than what you did." She smiles. "In fact, go ahead. I want you to say it. I’m a bitch, right? I’m bout to kill your baby, so I’m a cunt, too, right?”
“You’re trying to bait me.”
She smiles. “Ace Jr. We could have named him after you.”
I shake my head.
“Elijah and Ace Jr.”
My fists clench. Now my blood is boiling.
“That’s two dead babies for you.”
“Shut the fuck up, bitch.” I look at her and see straight up ugliness. "You really are a fucking cunt."
“There it is!” she says, giggling like a fucking maniac. “If I untied you right now, would you hit me?”
“After what you said, I just might.”
She laughs again. “Well, you can’t. All you can do is sit there and picture Ace Jr floating up to heaven to meet his big brother. Or down to hell. I don’t know what kind of person Elijah was.”
My arms strain against the restraints, making me even madder and more frustrated. “I see why your mother left you behind. I would have done the same thing.”
“Whoopty do.”
“You really ain’t shit. You’re evil, Raya. Rotten inside. Everybody in your life leaves you because you’re a terrible fucking person. And now, I’m the only one you got. Even your aunt knows you’re crazy.”
Her eyes narrow.
“Who do you think gave me the fucking placebos?”
That wipes all traces of amusement off her face.
“Yeah. Before the wedding, we met up. She told me all about how fucked up you are in the head and how you lash out like a wild animal even at the people who love you the most. She fuckin’ warned me about yo’ ass, Raya.”
She shakes her head slowly.
“It's true. The one person who loves you as much as me thinks you can’t be saved. How that feel?”
Her eyes dart over to the knife, and my adrenaline rushes again. I know I said too much, but she pushed me to it. On purpose.
“We’re not talking about her,” she finally says, her voice shaky. “We’re talking about you.”
“What about me?”
“I could kill you. Right now. I really could.”
“I know.”
“But…” she trails off, her face going soft. “I’m not. Not today. Maybe not ever, I don’t know. I hate you right now, but I love you.”
I blow out a sigh, my body deflating in defeat. “Yeah. I know the feeling.”
“What do you expect me to do? Am I just supposed to have your baby like nothing’s wrong? How did you expect me to react?”
“I mean…part of me thought you’d be happy once you were actually pregnant. Since it’s us. Since you say you love me so much. Since you said you’d want a kid one day. Which I know now is a fuckin’ lie.”
“I won’t be a good mother, Ace. It’s not something you can force.”
“Well, fuck. I don’t know. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
She drops onto the edge of the bed, her head hanging between her shoulders. “Don’t say anything, I guess.”
I stare at her. She stares at me.
It's a Mexican standoff. No matter what happens now, we're both fucked.