June
After leaving the hospital, we had finally put Peace to bed.
Although I was content with today, my house still felt empty because Savior was still in the hospital.
If it were up to me, I would never leave until it was time for him to come home, but the reality was that Zaria and I still had other kids who couldn’t be neglected in the process.
As Z and I left Peace and Savior’s room, we both stopped at Samara’s door and stared at each other. I thought Z would be able to pull off her therapy shit and get her to talk, but she wouldn’t say anything to her, and I wasn’t sure what to say to make any of what happened better.
“Me?” I paused. “What am I supposed to say?” I tried whispering.
“I think there is a lot you can say to her. When you’re done, I’ll be in the room,” she finished, kissed me, and walked off.
My head slowly turned to look at her, then back at Samara’s door. “Shit,” I muttered.
I gave the door a light tap, waiting for her to say something. It took a minute, then I heard her say, “Come in.”
When I entered the room, she was curled up in her bed. I wasn’t sure why Z thought I would be able to work magic, but I knew this was only preparation for when the boys got older and they too would go through something. I cleared my throat as I walked around and sat on her bed.
“You need anything?” I asked.
“No.”
“Samara, look at me when I’m talking to you.”
She turned her head so only her eyes were visible. “I’m not good at this shit, but I’m trying. Let’s talk.”
“There is nothing to talk about, Chevy. I messed up, and it cost me.”
I knew Z should have done this shit. She was the one who had been kidnapped before. I ran my hand over my face as I tried thinking of the right words to say.
“We all make decisions we think are right and later find out that they are far from the decision we should have made. It doesn’t mean you deserved anything that happened.”
She slowly started to sit up. “You’re not mad at me for not moving smarter?”
“Fuck no. You were doing something you felt would give you the answers you’ve been looking for. That I do understand because I did the very same thing.”
Samara’s face held confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, the reason we’re all here is because I made a decision.
You know some of my story, but not the full story, so let me tell you.
Samara, I was dying—not just mentally, but with cancer.
Growing up not knowing where you come from, who your family is, and why they chose to abandon you leaves you with so many questions, and I needed answers.
When I found out my mother lived here, it was my dying declaration to meet her.
I needed to know I was loved. I needed that sense of comfort that comes with knowing I wasn’t forgotten about.
I craved that shit so much I took a trip across the country to get it.
Only to find out that I would never get what I was seeking.
Instead, I was hit with two sisters and grandparents who couldn’t care less if I lived or died. ”
She slowly peeled the covers back off her head. “Clark? So, he hates you because you came here?”
I shrugged. “Honestly, I think he hates me because I’m not some weak-ass nigga he can take advantage of.
I’m probably like my mother or like someone he never liked.
Either way, Clark is irrelevant. He will get handled.
What I’m saying is you sought out something in your mother that, no matter what Z and I would have said, you needed to see for yourself.
The one thing I learned throughout my entire journey thus far is that found family is just as loving and caring as blood.
We love you, Samara. Never forget that, even if you choose to start your true journey without us.
I love you, and that will never change. You are and will always be a Calloway.
I’m sorry that shit happened to you, I am, and if I could change it for you, I would.
Talk it out. Find ways to overcome it. Don’t let it hurt you to the point where you shut out those who love you.
I did the same shit, and had I not, none of this—” I pointed around, “—would even exist.”
She nodded before a tear rolled down her face. I reached out and wiped it. “Got a nigga in here on some old man shit. You’re strong, but we’re stronger together.” I winked.
She lunged forward and hugged me. “I love you, Daddy. Happy Father’s Day,” she cried.
I held Samara tightly because her saying those words made my day go from good to great.
When she let me go, she wiped her tears. “Are you going to kill Clark?” she asked.
I scoffed. “I will always tell you a joke but never tell you a lie. I’m going to skin his ass to the bone, but you let me worry about that. You worry about getting yourself back on track,” I finished as I stood to leave the room.
Then she said something that made my hair stand up. “I killed Keith!”
I turned to look at her. Samara had come into our unknown world green, and somehow, she was no longer that. I knew with everything that went on, her demons were eating her alive because mine were doing the same.
“I guess we’re more alike than I thought. You are going to a therapist.”
No one was there to help me through my time, but I could be here to help her through hers.
This was going to be a new chapter for Samara, and I feared it didn’t include Dio.
It was all a part of the learning experience.
If I had to guess, Samara and Dio wouldn’t be together, but they’d still be the best of friends.
Everyone was stepping into the next phase of their lives, while my phase was coming to an end, and for the first time in my fucking life, I was okay with it all.