12. Grayson
Chapter 12
Grayson
I look down at my watch as my forehead rests against the steering wheel of my car. It’s just after two, Carlee should be out any minute. Well, I hope so. I drove away from here hours ago, only to circle straight back. I overreacted tonight, but the thought of anyone touching her makes me borderline insane. I’m not usually so domineering, but the moment he placed his fingers on her hair I was on my feet and dragging him away.
I need to make this right. I’m just hoping I haven’t fucked us up before we’ve even begun. I’ve always been the easygoing and fun-loving guy, never the jealous asshole I was earlier. This woman has flipped my life upside down and I’m powerless to stop it.
My head rises when I hear voices approaching. It’s Carlee and the other girl that was working with her tonight. I reach for the door handle and exit the vehicle. I’m in my silver Range Rover, and she hasn’t seen this car before, so she wouldn’t realize it’s me.
Her head’s down as she fishes in her bag for what I presume are her car keys. Her friend nudges her with her elbow, and when Carlee looks up, she points in my direction.
Carlee stops walking the moment she notices me standing there. Her face is void of any emotion, so I’m not sure if she’s happy to see me. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I remain motionless as I wait.
Please let me be able to fix this.
“You want me to hang around?” her friend asks.
When Carlee shakes her head, they say their goodbyes and she starts walking toward her car. I wait until she’s driven away before I approach.
“Can we talk?”
Carlee’s gaze moves down to her shoes, and everything in me wants to reach out to her, but I don’t. I promised her the other day I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her again, yet tonight that’s exactly what I did.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” I run my fingers through my hair, I’m not sure what I can say to make this okay. “I had no right to do what I did.”
She blows out a puff of air as she lifts her face to meet mine. “You’re right you didn’t.”
Reaching for her small hand, I wrap my fingers around it. “I don’t know what came over me tonight, I don’t usually act that way, but when he touched you, something inside me snapped. My body went into autopilot and I was dragging him away before my mind even registered what I was doing.”
“You can’t come into my workplace and cause trouble, Grayson. I need this job, and I rely on the tips it brings in.”
“I know, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“It better not. Guys flirt with me all the time, but it’s harmless, it never goes any further than that. They tip well, and it’s the only reason I allow it. ”
That irrational caveman side of me is already fighting his way back to the surface. It makes me crazy to think other guys are hitting on her, but thankfully I manage not to voice my concerns out loud. This woman is turning me inside out and I don’t know how the fuck to deal with it.
“I guess I blew that for you tonight then?”
“You owe me two hundred dollars, he’s a good tipper.” When I see her repressing a smile, I know she’s severely overinflated the amount.
Nevertheless, I pull out my wallet. It’s a small price to pay for her forgiveness. Hell, I’ll give her my bank account number if need be.
Carlee raises her hand. “I was joking.” I pull out a stash of cash anyway, holding it out to her, but she slaps my hand away. “I told you I don’t want your money, Grayson.”
“What about me? Do you still want me?”
I tug on her hand, pulling her closer so I can wrap her in my arms. She buries her face in my chest and sighs. That’s not a good sign.
“I’m just saving us both from the inevitable,” she says.
“What does that even mean?”
She doesn’t pull out of my embrace, but her arms remain limp at her sides. It makes my stomach churn. Is she breaking up with me?
Tilting her head back, she finally makes eye contact. “Look at you, you’re rich, successful, and drop-dead gorgeous. You could have any girl you want.” She lets out another sigh before continuing. “I’m a nobody. You could do so much better than me.”
When she turns her face away, I gently cup her cheek, bringing her gaze back to mine. “Stop. Don’t put yourself down like that. You’re far from a nobody. I don’t like hearing you talk about yourself in that way. You’re beautiful, kind and so fucking strong. You may not realize this, but your strength inspires me. You’ve been through a lot in your life, but you don’t let any of that hold you back. If anyone is out of their league here it’s me, but I’m a selfish prick, so I’m going to keep you anyway. You can’t give me back I won’t let you.”
My thumb sweeps across her cheek in soft, gentle waves.
“Do I even get a say in this?”
I want to say no, but again I refrain. I’m already treading on a thin line as it is. “You’d do that?”
“Do what?”
“Break my heart.”
She rolls her eyes. “I seriously doubt your heart would be broken after only two nights together.”
“I beg to differ; well-endowed men have fragile hearts.”
“Did you just make that up?”
I chuckle. “No, it’s a scientific fact. You know the saying big dick, big heart? Well, I’m proof it’s true.”
She shakes her head and laughs. “You’re a dick.”
“But a big one though, right?”
“The jury’s still out on that one.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Do I have to bend you over the hood of my car and remind you just how big it is, Carlee?” She gives me a toothy grin, so I draw her in closer. “You’d like that wouldn’t you, minx?”
She lifts one shoulder. “Maybe.”
“Do you forgive me?”
“I guess.”
“Geez, don’t sound so convincing.” I lift her hand to my face, placing a soft kiss on her palm, followed by one on the side of her neck, just below her ear. They’re fast becoming my favorite spots .
“Schmoozing me will get you nowhere, I’m still upset with you, mister.”
“I can live with that, as long as you’re still mine.”
She rests her cheek against my chest, so I place my chin on her hair as my hands run up and down along her spine. I don’t want to push her, but I’m not what you’d call a patient man when it comes to getting something I want. I will be for someone like Carlee though. She may not fully realize my intentions, but I have zero plans of letting her go.
“I know it’s late but do you want to go grab a bite to eat?” I need her to know that this thing between us is more than just sex. I don’t care what we do, or where we go, as long as we’re together.
She shrugs one shoulder. “I guess I could eat.”
Her response makes me chuckle. Of course, she can.
“When is your next day off?” I ask, drawing Carlee nearer. We’re in her bed, and she’s yet to kick me out, but I know it’s coming. I hated fighting with her tonight, but we just had the best makeup sex ever, so it had its upside. You’ve got to take the positives where you can.
“Why?”
“I want to spend the day with you. We can hang out at my place; I can teach you how to cook something other than SpaghettiOs.”
“Hey, don’t knock my SpaghettiOs,” she says, playfully slapping my chest. “They’re the bomb.”
“I also want to take you to meet my mom. ”
“What?” She raises her head from my chest and stares at me in horror.
“I told her I had a girlfriend, and she wants to meet you.”
“I’m not your girlfriend, Grayson,” she says, using my chest to push herself up.
“Hey.” I tighten my arms around her waist, pulling her back down. “If you want to discuss this we will, as long as you agree we’re in a relationship by the end of it, I’m good.”
“I told you I don’t do relationships.”
“I know, but that was before me. Things are different now.”
“Really? How so?”
“Simple, because those other douches weren’t me.”
“You’re so full of yourself.”
I flip her over onto her back, settling myself between her legs. “You’re going to be full of me in a second,” I state, rubbing the tip of my cock through her slick heat.
She opens her mouth to protest, but before she can get a word out, I drive myself inside her. “Grays—” she doesn’t get a chance to finish saying my name because I withdraw and then slam back in. I’ll keep fucking her like this until she relents.
“Admit you’re my girlfriend, Carlee.”
“No.”
I slide my hand behind her knee, lifting her leg and draping it over my hip. She moans into my ear when I change my position and delve deeper.
“You’re my girlfriend,” I growl as I pick up the pace, hammering into her at lightning speed. Fuck, I need to slow down. I’m ready to blow. “Say it.”
“I can’t.” I feel her inner walls tightening around my cock, so I know she’s teetering on the edge as well. It forces me to do the only thing I can, I pull out. “What are you doing?” she screeches.
“I’m getting dressed and going home. I’m going to deny you until you concede.”
I use my hands to push myself up, moving to the side of the bed. “Are you fucking serious?”
“Like a heart attack,” I say, reaching for my pants.
“That’s not fair, I was almost there.”
I slide my legs into my jeans and stand. “No, what’s not fair is you refusing to be my girl.”
Carlee drapes her arm across her chest and sits up. “It’s not that simple for me.”
I leave my button and zipper undone as I take a seat on the side of the bed. I get it, she’s had a shitty life, and she’s scared because trust doesn’t come easy for her, but I’m not them; I’d never treat her the way others have in the past.
I reach for her hand. “Sometimes people build walls to keep others out. Sometimes they do it to protect what’s left inside.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing?”
“I don’t know, are you?”
“You can’t answer a question with a question.”
“Do you know why I call you sunshine?”
She narrows her eyes. “So, you’re going with another question then?”
Reaching out, I cup her face, skimming my thumb over her plump lips. “Because when I see you, you light me up inside. Your smile, it’s radiant, but sometimes the biggest smiles, the ones that shine the brightest, are just a front to hide the pain that’s raging on the inside. Am I right?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what? ”
“Psychoanalyze me.”
“I’m not psychoanalyzing you, sweetheart, I’m just calling it how I see it.”
“And how do you see it?” She’s getting annoyed, but we need to get past this so we can move forward. She’s pushing me away because she’s been constantly let down by the people who should’ve cared the most. I can’t begin to imagine the horrors she’s endured throughout her life. I’m sure I’d go crazy if I let my mind wander there for too long.
This is self-preservation, I understand that, but I need her to know I’d never treat her that way. I want to be someone she can always count on.
Standing, I remove my jeans, sheath my cock with a rubber, and climb back onto the bed. I need to be close to her when I say this.
She cautiously lies back down as I hover over her, maneuvering my body back between her thighs. “I’m not them,” I say, hoping she understands where I’m coming from.
I know her mother fucked her over, and I doubt she was the only one. That breaks my damn heart. Her vulnerability speaks to me, and in time I hope to bring down all her walls. She may not realize it yet, but she can count on me. I’m here for the long haul.
Carlee closes her eyes and lets out a breathy sigh when I slowly enter her again. “Look at me, baby.” As soon as she opens her pretty eyes, I see the tears that are pooling in them. Seeing her like this hurts. I gently brush the hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Let me take care of you, sunshine. Let me fix what the others broke.”
It’s the weekend, and Carlee has the day off, so we’re going to spend it together. I feel like we’ve made real progress over the past few weeks. We’ve spent every chance we could together. Carlee is yet to admit she’s my girlfriend, but she’s still here and that’s enough for now.
She still kicks me out when it’s time for her to go to sleep, but that’s another wall I intend to knock down in time. I want to spend our nights together, and for her pretty face to be the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning. It’s hard with me working days and her nights. Our time together is limited, and I don’t want to waste a second of it.
I’m sitting on my front step waiting for her to arrive. A nervous energy runs through me. It’ll be her first time here, and I plan on making the most of it. If I’m lucky I may even convince her to stay over tonight.
When her little red shit-box pulls up, I leap to my feet and walk down to meet her at the curb. I’ve decided I’m going to get her a new car because I hate that she’s driving around late at night in that thing. I need her to be safe.
Most evenings, I’ve been waiting in the parking lot for her when her shift ends, so I can follow her home. There will be times when I’m out of town with work though, so I’ll be unable to do that then.
She exits the vehicle before I reach her, opening the back door to collect her bag. I told her to pack her bikini. Since my home is situated on the shores of Hermosa Beach, I’m going to give her a surfing lesson. I usually try to take my board out before I head to work each morning. I love being on the water, it’s a great way to start the day.
My favorite color is the ocean, and you can’t beat the thrill that comes with chasing the next wave. It’s freeing . The rest of the world disappears when I’m out there. For me, life’s a lot like surfing, to keep your balance you must keep moving. I only hope Carlee gets as much out of it as I do.
Sliding my arm around her waist, I pull her back to my front, burying my nose in her hair. I inhale deeply, her scent calms me.
“Hey, sunshine.”
“Hey, you.” She turns in my arms, getting up on the tip of her toes to plant a kiss on my lips.
“Did you find the place alright?”
“Uh-huh.” Her eyes dart toward my home. “I can’t believe you live here all by yourself… it’s big .”
“What did you expect? Big cock, big house, you know the saying.”
She shakes her head and laughs. I love that sound coming from her. “I’m pretty sure you made that one up too, but I’m starting to see a pattern here. Are you sure you’re not overcompensating for something, Mr. Edwards?”
“My dick’s huge, Carlee, you and I both know that’s a fact. I don’t need to compensate for shit. As for the size of my house, I was just thinking ahead. You and our future babies are going to live here with me one day, so you better start getting used to it.”
Her face drops, and although I meant what I said, I realize it’s probably too soon to be talking that far into our future. Here I am planning the rest of our lives together, and she’s constantly looking for reasons to run. She’s still warming to the idea of our relationship, so maybe I should’ve waited before throwing the whole marriage and family thing into the mix.
I take her bag from her hand, slinging my arm around her shoulder, and guiding her toward the house. Let’s hope she can forget what I said. She just got here and I don’t want to fight with her.
“Grayson,” she says, halting her steps.
“Yeah?”
“I need to tell you something… I don’t want kids. Like ever.”
“You don’t?” She turns to face me, and I do the same. I can tell by the look on her face that she’s serious about this. I’ve never not seen kids in my future, so her statement should send up a huge red flag for me, but somehow it doesn’t.
“You know my childhood was less than stellar, and from what little I know about my extended family, my mom’s mother wasn’t much better than she was. Both my parents are fuckups, and neither of them should have ever procreated. I have a chance to stop that cycle, so kids have never been on my radar.”
Her answer is an honest one, and part of me gets where she’s coming from, but she’s so strong, caring, and loyal to the people she cares about. I’m confident she’d never follow in their footsteps.
“You’re nothing like them you know? I happen to think you’d be an amazing mother.”
“I don’t even know what a good mother looks like.”
“Well, you haven’t met mine yet, but you will soon.”
Her eyes widen. “She’s not coming here today, is she?”
No,” I say, chuckling. “It’s just you and me, pretty girl. If I told my mom you were coming over, chances are she would’ve sprung a surprise visit on us. But I’m not ready to share you just yet, I want to keep you all to myself for a little longer.”
Her expression looks grim. “I’m serious about the children thing, Grayson.”
I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I know you are, but what I love about this whole situation is you’re not fighting the fact that you’re going to be my wife one day. That in itself is a huge win for me.”
She thumps me in the chest when I bite back a smile. “I never agreed to that either.”
“I beg to differ.”
“You’re infuriating.”
“Now that’s not a nice way to talk to your future husband, Miss Just-Carlee.”
“Ugh.”
Reaching up, I bop her cute little freckly nose and laugh when her frown deepens. “Come on, let’s get you inside. I have big plans for us today.”
“Are you ready?” I ask when I look over my shoulder and see the next wave coming. Carlee’s lying toward the front of the board, and I’m behind her. My torso is resting between her spread legs, my chest leaning against her luscious ass. Her knuckles have turned white from the death grip on either side of the board, and it has me grinning.
I’m using my dad’s old board today; he’s the one who taught me how to surf. I rarely bring this one out, but it’s a lot longer than the modern-day surfboards, so it’s perfect for the two of us.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she answers as I start paddling to gain some momentum as the wave encroaches.
I place a chaste kiss against the middle of her spine as I use my flattened palms to push myself into a standing position. Carlee drags herself up onto her knees as I taught her, and I crouch down and slide my hand around her waist, helping her to her feet. We only remain standing for a few seconds at best, but it’s the closest we’ve gotten so far.
We both tumble into the whitewash and the smile that’s plastered on her face when she breaks the surface of the water steals all the air from my lungs. It’s a look that has more power over me than anything, or anyone, should.
“I fucking did it,” she screams, punching the air. “Did you see that, Grayson, I can surf.”
I reach for her as she throws her arms around my neck, planting an overenthusiastic kiss on my lips. I love seeing her happy and carefree like this, so I don’t have the heart to tell her that our attempt barely qualified.
“You were awesome, sunshine.”
When I first informed Carlee I was going to give her surf lessons today, I kind of expected her to freak out. You know the old… “I’m not getting my hair wet,” or “I don’t want to mess up my makeup,” bullshit, or my personal favorite, “Gasp. You want me to get in the ocean with all those slimy creatures? Nah-ah.” And yes, I’ve heard them all before.
But this is Carlee we’re talking about. She whipped off her sundress, revealing her sexy-as-fuck, high-wasted, white bikini that was underneath, and said, “Let’s do it. I’m going to suck, and I can’t really swim that well, but I’ll give anything a go once.” It had me beaming .
If anyone is allowed a woe-is-me attitude, it’s her, but that’s not who she is. Carlee grabs life by the goddamn balls. I seriously love that about her. It takes tremendous courage and strength to grow up and become the person you were meant to be all along. She’s like a lioness… brave and graceful, with a fierce and mighty roar.
“Mmm,” she moans and those sexy little noises travel straight to my dick. “So good. If I didn’t watch you cook it with my own eyes, I’d never have believed you made this.”
“Glad you like it.”
We’ve had the best day; I don’t want her to leave.
I want to keep her here forever .
We’re both freshly showered after spending the rest of the afternoon in bed. Despite fucking her six ways to Sunday, I felt compelled to bend her over the bench seat in the shower stall again before we came down to eat, thrusting into her like a desperate man who’d been starved of pussy his entire life.
I didn’t stop until those sexy whimpers she makes became cries of pure unadulterated pleasure; she was enjoying the ferocity of our fuck-fest as much as I was. The violent roar that tore from my body when I came was so intense it startled us both. She’s like the worst type of craving, the more I have, the more I seem to need.
“Where did you learn to cook like this?” she asks, scooping the last of her dinner into her mouth.
“Mostly, my grandmother.”
“Did you spend a lot of time with her growing up? ”
“She lived with us for a spell after my father died. My mom was working two jobs at the time and my sister was just a baby, so she moved in to help out.”
She reaches over and places her hand on top of mine. “I’m sorry about your dad.”
“It was a long time ago,” I say, shrugging. “I still miss him though.”
“I’m sure.” Carlee’s gaze drops to her lap… she suddenly looks sad. Is she thinking about her own father? Is he in her life?
“What about your dad?”
She turns her face away, but I don’t miss the grimace as she does. It in no way answers my question, but that look alone tells me he’s also hurt her somehow. There’s so much more I want to ask: I want to know everything there is when it comes to her, but she clams up when I ask questions that make her feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to taint her time here.
“Have you had enough?” I ask, standing and reaching for her plate. “There’s more if you want seconds.”
I only made a simple spaghetti dish, but she scarfed into it like it was Michelin star worthy. Considering she’s used to eating her pasta out of a can though, I shouldn’t be surprised.
“I could go another bowl,” she answers, picking up a piece of garlic bread and bringing it to her mouth.
I bite back my smile. Her healthy appetite is just one of the many things I adore about this woman. She’s like a breath of fresh air. She’s nothing like the other girls I’ve dated. Just put a carb in their vicinity and they’re liable to flee the room screaming.
I place another full bowl down in front of her, and she wastes no time tucking in. “Seriously, this is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. ”
I cock an eyebrow. “Not the best thing, Carlee.” I’m still standing, so I reach for the waistband of my sweats, hooking my thumb in the elastic. “Do I need to remind you?”
“Keep it in your pants, lover boy, come back and see me when I’m done here.” She gestures to her plate making me laugh.
This woman.
I take a seat beside her. “I make a mean breakfast too.” I’m hinting at her staying over, but I don’t want to push too hard. If I do, it’ll likely scare her off.
“Nice,” she says with a nod. “This whole marriage thingy is looking better by the minute.”
She wiggles her eyebrows and I chuckle.
Resting my elbows on the table, I lean in her direction. “You’re going to love having me as a husband.”
“Oh really, why’s that?”
“I’m going to be so good to you, sunshine,” I say, reaching for her free hand and bringing it toward my mouth. Turning it over, I gently place my lips against her palm, lingering there. Her fork is suspended in midair as she watches my every move. “I’m going to make you a coffee first thing every morning, well after I’ve fucked you senseless of course. Then while you’re getting ready for the day, I’ll whip you up some breakfast. We can eat out there.” I point toward the deck through the floor-to-ceiling windows that span the entire back of the house. It’s my favorite place to sit and stare out at the ocean. It grounds me. “And that’s all before 9:00 am, we still have the rest of the day and night to get through. You’re going to have to pinch yourself every day… that’s how great our life is going to be.”
“Sounds nice,” she replies, opening her mouth and shoveling in some more pasta. I watch the fork slide between her luscious lips, and again I want to trade places. This woman can give me a boner without even trying. I probably should stop watching her so intently, but damn she’s exquisite.
“Nice doesn’t even begin to describe the life we’re going to have together. I’m going to make it my daily mission to woo the pants off you, Miss Just-Carlee, so much so you’re going to fall hopelessly in love with me and never want to leave.”
Her fork drops to the table and she swallows thickly before dipping her face and resting her chin on her chest. Did I say something to upset her?
“Hey.” I reach for her hand, giving it a light squeeze. “Don’t you like the sound of that?”
She still doesn’t make eye contact with me, so I place my knuckle under her chin, turning her gaze in my direction. When I see the tears pooling in her eyes, I don’t hesitate to pull her onto my lap, wrapping her tightly in my arms.
“It all sounds wonderful,” Carlee whispers into the crook of my neck. I want to give her the life she’s never had, the one she deserves.
I hold her for the longest time, stroking her hair. When she eventually moves back to her seat, I make a conscious decision to keep the conversation light. There’s no doubt in my mind we just shared a powerful moment; I just hope she knows I meant every word. I can’t even explain what this thing is between us, it’s just there.
Carlee pushes her food around the plate, her appetite now lost. “Let me clear the table and we can watch a movie or something.”
“Let me help you.”
Bending, I place a kiss on the top of her head. “You’re my guest, pour yourself another glass of wine and relax. ”
“That’s not how it works I’m afraid,” she says, rising and taking her plate out of my hand. “You cooked; I clean. That’s how Emma and I work.”
“Emma lets you heat up SpaghettiOs for her?” Her eyes narrow as she glances at me over her shoulder, making me chuckle. Carlee’s cooking prowess may be limited, but in her defense, she did make me a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich the other day.
“No, she cooks for me and I clean up, smarty-pants. I always pull my weight.”
I follow her over to the sink, wishing she’d let me take care of her. I want to argue the point, but I also know I’m going to get a whole lot of sass in return if I do.
She turns on the water, unhooks the coiled tap from its holder, and starts rinsing the dirty plates. There’s something truly sexy about seeing this woman doing dishes in my kitchen.
I lean against the counter beside her, folding my arms across my chest. I use the time to take her all in. Absorbing the visual until it’s seared into my brain. Imagining our future once I finally make her my wife.
“So, since I’m going to be the cook in our marriage, does this mean I’ll never have to wash a dirty dish again?”
She turns the tap my way, spraying me in the face. “Don’t get cute with me, Mr. Edwards.”
I just stand there for a moment in shock. The droplets of water drip down my chin and onto my T-shirt. I can’t believe she just did that to me.
Swinging around and placing my front against her back, I cage her against the countertop as I reach for the hose in her hand, trying to turn it around toward her. She puts up a good fight, but she’s not as strong as me.
“Grayson,” she squeals when the water hits her chest at close range. It soaks through her shirt instantly .
We’re both laughing as we continue the tug-of-war over the hose. When I finally manage to redirect it toward her face, she screams and releases her grip, ducking under my arm.
She spins on her feet and tries to run when I turn and direct the water at her retreating back, and my heart stops in my chest when she slips in the puddle on the floor, landing on her ass with a thud.
“Shit,” I say, dropping the hose back into the sink and reaching out to help her back to her feet. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She slaps my hand away, and when I notice the pretty blush forming on her cheeks and spreading down her neck, I bring my hand to my face and bite my knuckle to hide my amusement.
“You think this is funny?” she grumbles, but before I get a chance to answer she swipes out her leg, kicking my feet out from under me, sending me ass-over-head onto the kitchen floor.
All the air expels from my lungs as I lay there in a daze, blinking up at the ceiling, trying to wrap my head around what just happened.
Damn her and those fucking ninja skills.
“Grayson,” she says in a panic, moving to my side and hovering over me. “I’m so sorry, I acted on instinct. Shit, I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“I’m pretty sure my ego just took a battering.”
“Naww. Poor baby,” she coos.
My hands grasp her waist, maneuvering her so she’s straddling my hips. I’m still lying in a puddle of water, but I don’t care.
One hand fists her hair, bringing her mouth down to mine, while the other stays on her hip, holding her in place. She may have just winded the fuck out of me and bruised my pride, but that little tactic she just pulled was so damn hot I’m taking her right here on the kitchen floor.