Mr. Edwards (Mr. #2)

13. Carlee

Chapter 13

Carlee

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” I say, scowling. It’s taken Grayson over a month to get me here, but after his nonstop pestering, I finally relented.

“Relax, sunshine. My family are going to love you.”

I gasp. “Your family? You said I was meeting your mom, not the entire family?”

We’re still sitting in his car, parked outside a house that I presume is his mother’s. It’s certainly not as grand as the one Grayson lives in, but it’s still like a palace compared to the shitty trailer where I grew up. He’d be horrified if he ever met Roxy and saw where I came from.

“I’m not sure if my sister, Kaitlin, is home, but my Granny Edwards is visiting.”

“Your grandma? Jesus, Grayson. I’ve changed my mind; you need to take me home.”

He chuckles but makes no move to honor my request. Instead, he opens his door and exits the vehicle. Ugh!

I watch on in horror as he walks around the front of his car. He opens my door and extends his hand to me. “Come on, beautiful.”

I fold my arms across my chest like a child. “Nope! ”

He shakes his head. “I’ll carry you inside if need be, and how’s that going to look?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me.”

My eyes narrow and I growl at him. “They’re going to take one look at me, Grayson, and freak the hell out, I’m not exactly grandma meeting material.”

She’s going to be horrified by my tattoos. Most old people are, immediately getting all judgey. Having ink doesn’t make me a bad person, in my eyes it’s art and more pleasing to the eye than the ugly scars that lay underneath.

He laughs at this, and my annoyance grows. “Trust me when I say my granny is not your typical sweet little old lady. Shit, she’s probably hipper than both of us combined.”

He extends his hand again and this time I take it, sighing as he helps me from the car.

Without releasing me, he guides me along the path toward the front porch. My stomach is in knots, I don’t think I can do this. I’m not normally a nervous person; I’m just not wired that way. My life has been filled with uncertainties. I probably wouldn’t have survived any of it if I’d given into the panic. Right now though, my anxiety is through the roof. This feels like a make-or-break moment for us, and my confidence is at rock bottom.

“Why does your mother want to meet me so bad? It’s not like I’m your first ever girlfriend.” I glance at Grayson and find him beaming. “What?”

“I just love hearing you say you’re my girlfriend.” His grip on my hand tightens. “I mean, I knew you were, but the validation is nice.”

I roll my eyes, but he’s got me. I can’t exactly argue his point. “How many girls have you brought home before? ”

“None.”

“None?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I’ve never had a girlfriend I liked enough to bring here.”

“Are you serious?”

“One hundred percent.”

His answer floors me. “Wow. You must’ve had some pretty sucky relationships if I’m the best you’ve had.”

He scowls at me. “Don’t put yourself down like that, Carlee. I don’t like it.”

“I’m just stating a fact.”

Pausing, he drops my hand and slides his arm around my waist, tugging me closer. “You’re wrong. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Any man would be lucky to have someone like you as their girl. Can’t you see how special you are? Because I certainly can.”

He’s the only one who’s ever made me feel like I’m special. “I guess nobody else can see me the way you do.”

He leans in, placing a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. “Sunshine, you’re all I see.”

We climb the front steps and the door opens before we even reach it. My breath hitches, and my stomach rolls. None of the previous guys I’ve dated ever introduced me to their families. Granted, I usually broke things off before things got serious, but still...

A beautiful woman stands at the threshold, wearing a smile that looks a lot like her son’s. “Mom,” Grayson says as she steps forward and wraps him in her arms. When she releases him, her eyes zero in on me and I just stand there in stunned silence.

“You must be, Carlee?” She engulfs me in a tight hug before I even get a chance to reply. My arms remain limp by my sides. She draws back taking me in before skimming her hand affectionately down the side of my face. “Look how beautiful you are.”

“Told you,” Grayson says, grinning.

“You have no idea how happy I am to finally meet you.”

The sincerity behind her words brings a lump to my throat. She’s the polar opposite of Roxy, and that thought makes my heart pang. I would’ve killed for a mother like Grayson’s when I was a little girl.

“Likewise, Mrs. Edwards.”

“Please call me Janelle, Mrs. Edwards makes me feel so old.”

“Watch your mouth,” a female voice says from behind us.

“Granny,” I hear Grayson say, and when I look over his mother’s shoulder, he’s wrapping his arms around the short, older lady standing in the doorway, lifting her off her feet. It’s such a sweet thing to witness; I love this side of him.

“Ah fuck-a-duck, Grayson,” his grandma screeches, slapping his arm. I inhale a sharp breath. Did she just say fuck? “Put me down you big baboon, you’re going to break my hip and I have a hot date tomorrow night.”

Grayson throws back his head and barks out a laugh. He plants a big kiss on her weathered face before slowly lowering her to her feet. When he steps back, my eyes take her in. I must’ve misheard her; she doesn’t look like someone who’d cuss. She’s wearing rollers in her short silver hair for Christ’s sake.

She barely comes up to his chest, and her head is tilted back as she smiles up at him with so much love in her eyes, it brings a lump to my throat. It’s a look I’m not familiar with, but one I envy nevertheless. This man may be worth millions, but he’s rich in love, and for me, that’s far more valuable.

Janelle lets me go, shaking her head at her mother-in-law, but she’s smiling as she does. “I thought you were going to change your shirt, Mom?”

She shrugs her frail body, feigning ignorance. “What you see is what you get, I’m not going to put on the airs and graces for anyone.” She side-eyes me briefly as she speaks. “Grayson’s new girl needs to realize that me and my grandson are a package deal. If she wants to be with him, she’ll need to accept me too.” There’s a hint of animosity in her voice.

Does she view me as a threat?

My gaze moves away from her face and down her body. My eyes widen to saucers when I read the large, white, bold print on the front of her dark grey T-shirt… ‘I tried to stop swearing, but I cunt.’

I blink a couple of times in case my eyes are playing tricks on me. Cheese on a cracker, this sweet-looking old lady has the C word, as Emma calls it, on her top.

Grayson said she was hip, but I wasn’t expecting this. I was thinking more along the lines of someone laid-back and open-minded for her generation, but instead, she’s like Woodstock on crack.

“She’s going to love you, Granny, and you her. This one’s different,” he says.

Different how?

He draws me closer, tucking me under his arm. All the while his grandma sizes me up. A smile tugs at her lips when her eyes skim over my arms. I see no judgment there. I’ve had enough of it over the years to recognize it when I do.

“Nice ink.” She lifts the hem of her shirt and pulls down the side of her yoga pants, showing me the large red rose she has tattooed on her hip. “I got this in my twenties, hurt like a bitch, but I have no regrets. It’s kind of pruney looking these days, but the men at bingo still go crazy over it.”

This time I laugh. Grayson was right, I love her already.

“Come inside,” Janelle says, rubbing her hand down my arm. “We’ve made lunch.”

We enter the house and I’m still tucked into Grayson’s side. Leaning down, he plants a kiss on the top of my hair. “Are you okay?”

I glance up at him with a smile and end up gulping in a woosh of air when I see the expression on his face. He’s staring at me, and if I’m not mistaken, he’s giving me the same look his grandma just gave him.

My step falters, and his arm slides from my shoulder to my waist, keeping me upright. “I tripped over my own feet,” I say, laughing, trying to mask my embarrassment.

“Nah,” he whispers, leaning down closer to my ear. “I think you’re just falling for me.”

“You’re delusional,” I snap back, instantly on the defensive. And it’s not because I don’t believe him, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what’s happening.

Panic wells up inside me; I’ve never let any of my previous relationships go this far. I feel like I’ve come to a crossroads, and I’m veering toward the road less traveled, and that thought scares the bejesus out of me.

“Lie to yourself all you want, but I see the truth.”

“You see what you want to see, nothing more,” I whisper angrily.

He chuckles like a smug motherfucker, because he knows I’m full of shit.

Janelle leads us toward the dining room off the kitchen at the back of the house. Her home is impeccably clean and stylish, yet still has a homely feel to it. Worlds away from where I came from. There are family pictures framed throughout that I’d love to get a closer look at, but I don’t want to appear nosey or rude.

Grayson and I take a seat at the table while his mother and grandma disappear into the kitchen to plate up the food they’ve cooked.

“You’re allowed to like me, you know?” Grayson states, gripping my knee under the table. I keep my eyes trained forward as I brush his hand away. He laughs at this, scooting closer, and throwing his arm around the back of my chair. “Stop fighting it,” he says, leaning in to place a kiss on my cheek. “Just let it happen and before you know it, it’ll come as easy as breathing.”

That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. What happens when I let my defenses down, allowing him to see just how fucked-up I am on the inside? He’ll leave me for sure. I can’t process any of this right now, I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I don’t want that to happen in front of his family, or him for that matter.

The women bring out dish after dish of scrumptious-looking food, lining it all up in the center of the table. It’s a feast fit for a king, and my stomach grumbles with anticipation. Do they eat like this all the time? It reminds me of how those perfect families on television dine. I didn’t realize people did this kind of thing in real life.

“Let me help?” I ask, going to stand.

“Nonsense.” His mother places her hand on my shoulder to stop me. “Sit, sweetie, you’re our guest.” I nod, taking my seat again. I was hoping for a distraction. “Don’t forget to take your washing before you go, honey,” she says, moving her attention to Grayson.

She points across the living room to where a neat pile of folded clothes sits in a basket. There’s a stack of perfectly ironed shirts, jeans, and long pants on hangers hooked over the door handle above it.

“Thanks, Mom.”

I wait until she turns and leaves the room before I speak. “You still make your mother do your washing and ironing? Remind me how old you are again?”

“She wants to do it,” he answers defensively. “My housekeeper is more than willing to do my laundry, but my mom insists.”

“You have a housekeeper?”

“I’m a busy man, Carlee. My company doesn’t run itself. I don’t have time to look after that monstrosity on my own.”

“Oh, so now you’re admitting your house is too big?”

He shrugs. “Only because I live there alone, once you move in it won’t feel that way.”

Glancing at me, he winks and I gasp. This whole thing is moving way too fast, and it’s making my head spin. “I’m not moving in with you, Grayson.”

Picking up one of the bowls in front of him, he starts dishing food onto his plate like he doesn’t have a care in the world. “All in good time, sunshine. All in good time.”

Gah.

After lunch was finished, we moved to the main room, where we stayed for the next few hours. I find out that Grayson’s sister is away at college, she’s eight years younger than him. A few questions throughout the afternoon are leveled in my direction, but thankfully nothing I can’t answer without incriminating myself, my past, or my parents.

Janelle touches briefly on her husband, Robert’s, passing, tearing up when she talks about him, and so does Granny. Grayson just bows his head. I reach for him when he does that, folding my hand around his. I’ve enjoyed my time here; it’s been nothing like I imagined. His family’s nice, and despite my earlier reservations, they seem to be very accepting of me.

When it’s time to leave, they walk us out to the car, helping carry out Grayson’s clean laundry. I still can’t believe a grown man lets his mom wash his clothes, but seeing how motherly she is toward him, I don’t doubt that she enjoys doing it.

Janelle hugs me. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“Thanks for having me today, and for lunch it was amazing.” They even gave us some leftovers to take home.

I wind down my window once we’re seated in the car, and his grandma sticks her head in. “Oh, Gray, I almost forgot, do you have any condoms on you?” I bite back my smile when Grayson groans. She extends her hand through the window toward him, wiggling her fingers like she’s waiting. “Dan from Bingo is taking me out tomorrow night. Rumor has it he’s been shagging that skank Delores from down the street. He never brings protection with him, so God only knows what kind of diseases that dirty ho has passed onto him. I warned him no glove no love. He may get my juices flowing, but he’s a stubborn old bastard.”

I throw back my head and laugh when Grayson grimaces and scrubs his hands over his face. “Spare me the details, Granny,”

“I’m old, love, not dead. Help an old lady out.” Sighing, he reaches over and opens the glove compartment retrieving the box of condoms he stowed in there. As he goes to open the top flap, to take a couple out, she snatches the entire box out of his hand. “Love ya, kiddo,” she says, blowing him a kiss. Her gaze moves to me. “It was nice meeting you, Carlee. Look after my grandson, he’s a keeper… did I mention he’s my favorite? ”

Like a hundred times. But I can see the close bond they have.

“I’m your only grandson,” Grayson grumbles.

“You’re still my favorite, and you know it.”

“I’m very loveable,” he says with a shrug, making my eyes roll. It may be true, but modesty isn’t exactly his forte.

Our trip home is a quiet one; Grayson’s hand is wrapped in mine, and the other is on the steering wheel. It’s a comfortable silence, but my head is still spinning a hundred miles an hour. Today I got a glimpse of what it would be like to be part of a normal loving family, and it was glorious, but I’m too scared to hope this could be my life one day. I know he keeps mentioning our impending marriage, but it’s just in jest, right? He doesn’t really see that in our future?

“I told you my family would love you,” he says, pulling me back into the now. I can see the coastline off in the distance, so I know we’re almost home. I was dreading this day when I woke up this morning, but now I’ll be sad to see it come to an end.

“They’re nice, you’re lucky to have them.”

“I’m lucky to have you,” he says, bringing my hand up to his mouth, flipping it over, and placing a kiss on the center of my palm.

Looking over at him, I smile. “I’m lucky to have you too.” Because I am.

I get a pang in my heart when we turn into his street, and I spy my beast of a car, aptly named the Red Rocket, parked on the curb outside his house. It doesn’t belong in a neighborhood like this and stands out like dogs’ balls. But that car has been loyal and I love her for that. She may be old, but she’s been getting me around for years.

I drove to Grayson’s place earlier today, because it was out of his way, even though he did offer several times to pick me up. His mother’s house is in the opposite direction to mine, and Gardena is a half-hour drive from Hermosa. It made more sense for me to come to him.

He presses his remote to open the garage door, driving down the incline and inside. I reach for my bag and exit the car before he has a chance to open my door. When he gives me a look, I know that move pissed him off. I love his gentlemanly ways, but I’m quite capable of getting out on my own.

Moving around the front of the vehicle, he comes to my side, pulling me into his arms. “You know I like doing that for you.”

“Next time, I might let you,” I say, patting his chest. Extending his arm, he goes to press the fob on his keys to close the garage door. “Leave it. I can head out to the street from here.”

“What? You’re not going already, are you?”

“It’s getting late, and we’ve spent the whole day together. You’ve got work tomorrow, and I’ve got stuff to do.”

“What stuff?”

I shrug. “Just stuff.”

His eyes track my face. “Stay.”

“I can’t.”

“Pretty please with multiple orgasms on top.” He pouts his bottom lip, so I get on the tips of my toes and suck it into my mouth.

“The orgasms sound nice, but I really should be going.”

“Is this how it’s going to be all the time?” he asks, and I can hear the exasperation in his voice. “We’ve been together for a few months now… it’s time. ”

“I told you from the very beginning I don’t do sleepovers.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like people sleeping beside me.”

“So, what’s going to happen when we’re married?” His voice has now raised a few octaves. “Do we sleep in separate beds, or God forbid live in separate houses?”

This is bullshit.

“Look,” I say stepping around him. “I’m not going to stand here and argue about something that may never happen.”

He reaches out, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. “What are you trying to say? You don’t want to marry me now?”

“Can you hear yourself?” I swing around to face him. “We’ve known each other a few months, Grayson, it’s way too soon to be talking about marriage.”

I snatch my arm out of his grip and turn to walk away. I’m not fighting with him about some make-believe wedding. This is insane. When the garage door starts to come down, I clench my hands into fists. It’s going to be like that is it? I’ll beat his ass if I have to.

“Stop running away from me when things get too hard,” he shouts, snagging me around the waist. “I never pegged you for a coward.”

“That’s because you don’t even know me.”

“I know you better than you think. You’re a fighter… you’ve had to fight your entire goddamn life, and I’m so fucking sorry for that. But you’re not a victim of circumstances, you’re a fucking warrior, Carlee. Start acting like one.”

His words only add fuel to the fire that’s burning within. My stance widens and one hand wraps around his wrist, the other moves to his bicep, and before I realize what’s happening, I’ve cocked my hip in his direction and he’s flipping over my shoulder and crashing down onto the concrete by my feet.

“For fuck’s sake,” he says infuriated.

I need to stop manhandling him like this.

When I attempt to step over him, he clutches my ankle. I try to shake him off but his grip is unrelenting. “I’m not letting you go until we’ve sorted this shit out.” I open and close my fists a few times, trying to rein in my anger. He doesn’t know when to quit. “I just want to wake up with you here, is that too much to ask?”

He keeps his fingers wrapped around my lower leg as he sits up, tethering me to him. I don’t know why he bothers because the fucker has locked me in his garage, so it’s not like I can go anywhere.

“Don’t do this,” I say.

“Do what?”

“Try to make me feel bad, do you think I like being this way?” I twist my body in his direction and point to my chest as tears burn the back of my eyes. “This… the way I am, it wasn’t a choice you know?”

He pushes himself to his feet, sliding his arms around my waist.

His chest rises and falls as his sad eyes scan over my face. “I just want you here, so if it means you have to stay in one of the spare rooms then so be it. I’ll settle for just having you under the same roof.” I inhale a sharp breath because the hurt I hear in his words slays me. “Please stay, sunshine,” he pleads. “ Please. ”

How can I argue with that?

We come to a stop when we reach the threshold of the spare bedroom. One of Grayson’s T-shirts is tucked under my arm. Since I didn’t have any other clothes with me, he offered to lend me something to sleep in; he also let me choose which room I wanted. The master bedroom takes up the entire top floor, so it didn’t matter which one I took because we’re not even on the same level.

It’s just after midnight, and since he has work tomorrow, he suggested we head to bed. We started to watch a movie earlier, but we were only five minutes in before Grayson had me pinned to the couch with his hands down my pants. By the time the credits rolled, we were still going at it.

“Are you sure you want to stay down here all by yourself?”

I’m not certain about any of this.

Internally, I’m freaking the fuck out about spending the night here, but I plaster a smile on my face to try and mask it.

I’ve slept in a total of three beds in my lifetime. The trailer, the room I had above the gym, and the apartment I’m living in now. I’ve never stayed at motels, or anywhere other than my residence. Not even Emma’s. I prefer my own surroundings. Familiarity gives me comfort.

My eyes quickly flicker down to Grayson’s chin when I see the hopeful expression in his eyes. I’m not falling for his emotional blackmail again. His puppy dog eyes and sweet words are what got me into this mess in the first place. It’s a shitty move on his part, but I don’t want to fight about it anymore.

“I’m positive,” I answer.

Grayson tries hard to hide his disappointment, but I see straight through it. I hate that this is hurting him. I wish I could tell him the reasons why we can’t sleep in the same room, but that’s never going to happen.

“One day I’m going to get you in my bed, Miss Just-Carlee… and what a sweet day that will be.”

“I believe you’ve already had me in there numerous times,” I say teasingly, trying to lighten the mood.

“I mean for something other than fucking.”

“You could feed me breakfast in bed tomorrow morning,” I offer, twisting the hem of his T-shirt around my fingers. “I’d gladly come up to your room then.”

“It’s not exactly what I had in mind.”

This is turning out to be harder than I anticipated. My fingertips move up to ghost his jaw. “I’m sorry, okay. This isn’t easy for me either.”

He nods like he understands, but I know he doesn’t. It’s only a matter of time before Grayson gets tired of my baggage, and that makes the uneasy feeling in my stomach intensify. It’s the reason Roxy could never hold down a man. Men will only put up with a woman’s drama for so long before they label them hard work.

He wraps me in his arms, pulling my face into his chest. I release a contented sigh when he places a kiss on my hair. “I can’t begin to understand what’s going on in your head, but just having you here is a step in the right direction. I can’t ask for more than that.”

Drawing back, I gaze up at him through my lashes. There’s a kaleidoscope of emotions mirrored back at me. It makes a warmth spread throughout my body. It’s a look that says so much. The intensity has me eventually diverting my eyes because it unnerves me.

“Hey,” he says, grasping my chin and bringing my gaze back to him. “Are you okay?”

“Uh-huh… it’s just the way you look at me sometimes,” I admit.

My eyes drop down to his neck, and I see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard. “How do I look at you?”

Like I’m the center of your universe.

My gaze flickers back to him, and his expression hasn’t changed. “Just like that,” I answer pointing to his face as my teeth run nervously over my bottom lip.

His smile grows, making his dimple pop. He reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Can you be a little more specific, sunshine?” I shake my head, making him chuckle. “It’s a good look though, right?”

“Definitely good. It gives me the warm fuzzies.”

“The warm fuzzies? Wow, that’s some look.” His hand moves down to cup me between the legs. “Here?”

I slap it away. “You have a one-track mind.”

“I’m just trying to understand what that look does to you.”

“In here,” I say, grabbing his wrist and laying his palm over my chest. I’m never this vulnerable with people, I have an intense fear of rejection, so putting myself out there isn’t easy for me.

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.”

He squeezes my boob, and I roll my eyes. He’s such a horndog. “You should keep me then because no one else can look at you the way I do.”

“Is that so?” I say, grinning.

“You heard what my granny said, I’m a keeper. ”

“Hmm, I think your granny is a tad biased.”

“No way, she was just stating the obvious.”

“Right,” I say, biting back a smile; he’s so full of himself. “I’ll give it some serious thought then,” I tease, leaning in to nip at his bottom lip.

His hand comes down, swatting my ass. “You better keep me, wench.”

There’s a renewed sparkle in Grayson’s eyes as he cups my face, brushing his lips with mine… once, twice, three times.

“Good night,” I whisper against his mouth. If I don’t put an end to our hallway rendezvous, we’ll be fucking again in no time, and neither of us will get any sleep.

He sighs, getting the hint. “Okay, good night.” He places another soft kiss on my lips before releasing me, and taking a step back. “You know where to find me if you get scared of the monsters under your bed.”

He chuckles to himself as he turns to walk away, and I’m glad his back is to me. If it wasn’t, I’m sure he’d be able to see the terror his statement just inflicted.

I hear his footsteps pad down the hallway as I close the bedroom door, leaning my back against it. My heart is thumping against my rib cage as my eyes dart around the unfamiliar room. I can already feel a panic attack clawing its way to the surface. It happened the first few nights I stayed at Reece’s and again when I moved to Gardena, so I don’t doubt another one is in store for me tonight.

Briskly taking air into my lungs, I step away from the door, turning to click the lock. My heart drops when I notice there isn’t one there. Shit. I scan the furniture in the room, looking for something I can move in front of the door… a barricade.

The small matching tables on each side of the bed won’t do and the dresser is too big and bulky, I’ll never be able to move it.

My mind tells me I’m safe, but it does nothing to drown out the terror bubbling up inside me. Crossing the room, I open the door that leads to the closet, flip on the light, and find it completely void. I move to the en suite bathroom next, stepping inside. I stop in front of the large mirror that spans the length of the wall above the double-sink vanity.

My shaky fingers glide over the white marble countertop. This bathroom is smaller than the one in Grayson’s bedroom, but no less beautiful. Oh, how the other half live.

Leaning in toward the mirror, I take in my pasty, clammy skin. “You’ve got this,” I tell myself, sucking in another gulp of air. “You’re safe, he can’t get you here.”

Turning on the faucet, I splash cold water on my face. My body quivers as a chill runs down my spine. My fingers and toes tingle as the palpitations in my chest intensify. I grip the edge of the countertop as the dizziness takes over. My throat clogs up and my nostrils flair as I struggle to get air into my lungs.

Dropping to my knees, I crawl toward the corner, curling myself into a ball. I feel like I’m dying, but I’ve had these enough to know that I’m not. I just need to ride it out and hope that I emerge on the other side in one piece.

There comes a point in your life where you just have to accept your fate; you’ll never be able to move forward if you don’t.

If Grayson saw me now, he’d probably bundle me into my car and send me on my way, grateful he dodged the bullet… namely me.