17. Carlee
Chapter 17
Carlee
I wake to the sound of crashing waves in the distance, wrapped up tight and safe in Grayson’s arms, and surprisingly I feel a kind of peace like I’ve never known. There’s no panic raging inside me, no hairs standing on end. This beautiful man beside me has given me something that I’ll forever be grateful for. A feeling of normalcy … something I didn’t think I’d ever get back.
For the first time in forever, there was no bedtime ritual, I even slept naked, which is something I never thought I’d do. Grayson’s front is pressed to my back, skin on skin, and our legs are a tangled mess. His morning wood is nestled snuggly between my ass cheeks, and the arm that’s underneath me, resting in the crook of my neck is bent, cupping one of my boobs, the other is anchored around my waist, holding me close.
I lie perfectly still because I want to stay cocooned up in the deliciousness that’s him, just like this, for the rest of my life.
I feel cherished.
I feel loved.
I feel whole .
Minutes, possibly longer, pass before he finally stirs. His lips press against my shoulder as his hand snakes a path down over my stomach, halting when he reaches the junction of my thighs. I bite back a moan as his skillful fingers tease my clit. Last night we went at it until we both passed out from exhaustion, but I’m ready for more. I can’t seem to get enough of this man.
It’s not even the act of sex, it’s one hundred percent him. The way he stares deep into my eyes while moving inside me, or how he worships every inch of my body… and me. Nobody has ever come close to making me feel the way he does. I didn’t think it was possible to be so in sync with another human being, but when we are together, like that, it feels like we are one.
He raises his head from the pillow, looking down at me with an endearing smile on his face. “Morning, sunshine.”
“Morning,” I reply, turning my head and brushing my lips with his.
He removes his hand from between my thighs, using it to lift my leg, anchoring it over his hip. My gaze is glued to him, watching the way his eyelids flutter closed, and how his lips slightly part as he slides inside me. The pure ecstasy I see on his face warms me from the inside out.
“Sweet baby Jesus,” he groans as he withdraws to the tip before slowly inching back in. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of your pussy.”
I struggle to comprehend how little old me can bring a man like Grayson Edwards to his knees.
He’s not wearing a condom, but we’ve previously discussed this in-depth. I’ve had a contraceptive implant in my arm for years. Reece suggested I start birth control when I got my first boyfriend, making it perfectly clear that he was in no way permitting me to have sex, but he thought it best to be safe than sorry. He was looking out for my welfare like always.
The first time Grayson and I were skin-to-skin, it was like we were taking our relationship to another level. There was something about having no barriers between us—it was more intimate. Special even. It’s just another small part of me that I’ve solely given to him.
He’s moving at a leisurely pace, with long, languid thrusts, not like the usual frenzy that accompanies our sexy times. It’s nice . His hand moves back between my legs, circling my clit and I rest my head on his shoulder, moaning as his lips trail along my jawline and down my neck. I could get used to waking up like this.
“I need your lips, actually I need to see your beautiful face while I fuck you,” Grayson says, withdrawing and maneuvering me onto my back before climbing on top. “That’s better.” He grins down at me as he reaches for my hands, lifting them above my head and lacing our fingers together. “I’m looking forward to waking up just like this for the rest of my life.”
I return his smile but don’t reply to his words. I want that too, so much, but I don’t want to jinx us.
He wastes no time sliding back in, and I wrap my legs around his waist, using the heels of my feet to draw him closer. There’s something about the heavy weight of his body pinning me down that I love.
Resuming his leisurely pace, he brings his mouth down to mesh with mine. The kiss is sweet and scorching in equal measure.
He’s so skilled at his craft, it doesn’t take long for him to bring me my first orgasm of the day, and I already know there’s going to be many more to follow. He’s an unselfish lover, going out of his way to make sure I’m satisfied multiple times. Always giving so much more than he takes in return.
He draws back, looking down at me as his pace picks up a notch. He’s on a mission now, aiming for number two. He won’t even consider finding his release until he achieves his goal.
My eyes don’t leave his, and no words are needed from either of us. Our bodies express it all. But it’s time for me to put my big girl panties on and tell him how I feel. He deserves to know. I intake a sharp breath as I formulate the words in my head.
Untangling one of my hands from his, I gently cup his jaw. “I love you, Gray.” His face lights up as he starts to pound into me with a vengeance.
“I know, sunshine,” he groans, throwing back his head as the pleasure takes over. “ I know. ”
We’re still in bed, neither of us wanting to get up. I’m snuggled into his side, wrapped in his warmth. My head is resting on his chest as I listen to the steady rhythm of his heart.
“I want to talk about the car you bought me,” I say, breaking the silence.
“I thought we already went over this.”
I lift my head so I can see his face. “Hear me out.”
He exhales a long, drawn-out breath. “You’re keeping it, Carlee.”
“Okay, but I have some conditions.”
“And they are? ”
“You let me give you whatever money I get from the sale of my old car.”
“I’m—”
“I’m not finished,” I say, cutting him off. “And we formulate a payment plan for the balance. I’ll probably only be able to afford fifty dollars a week, but if I pick up some extra shifts, I may be able to give you more.”
“I’m not taking your money, Carlee.”
“Well, I’m not taking the car. It’s that simple.” I roll onto my back in frustration, staring up at the ceiling.
“Jesus Christ, woman,” he says, growling as his hand scrubs over his face.
“You either agree to my terms or the deal’s off.”
“ Shit. ” He sighs in defeat because he knows I won’t back down on this. It’s the only way I’ll accept his gift. “Fine. But I’m going to put whatever money you give me away for any future expenses you may have, like registration and insurance.”
I open my mouth to protest when his phone pings. “Saved by the bell,” I hear him mumble.
He holds up his finger to halt me from speaking as he reaches over to retrieve his phone from the bedside table. I poke him in the side.
His brow furrows as he rolls onto his back and reads the message on the screen. “It’s from Ashton,” he says as his thumbs start to type a response.
“Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. He asked if I could go and get Emma from the hospital.”
“The hospital?” I screech, sitting up and snatching his cell from his hand so I can read the messages for myself.
Ashton: Can you do me a favor? Can you come to Ami South Bay Hospital and pick up Emma?
Grayson: Is everything okay?
Ashton: I have to leave, but she’s going to need a ride home.
Grayson: What the fuck man!
Ashton: I’ll explain later. Can you come and get her or not?
Grayson: On my way.
“If he’s hurt her, he’s a dead man,” I say, handing Grayson his phone, and rising from the bed.
“He wouldn’t hurt her, Carlee… well not physically anyway.”
Those words do nothing to calm me. Things may be going well for Ashton and Emma at the moment, but the jury is still out on my true feelings for him. Grayson may wear rose-colored glasses when it comes to his best friend, but I see a whole different side to him. He’s a swine and has made my friend cry too many times for my liking.
I throw on yesterday’s clothes and head to the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth. I need a shower, but it’ll have to wait. Emma needs us, and she’s my priority right now.
We take my new car because it’s the one closest to the exit, but I let him drive. My head’s not in a good place, I’m too worried about Em.
My nerves are shot by the time we arrive at the hospital. I’ve worked myself into a state, imagining every scenario possible. None of them good. I’ve tried to call Emma countless times on the drive here, but it kept going to voicemail. I have no idea what’s going on, but I won’t be able to relax until I know she’s okay.
I’m out of the car and striding across the parking lot before Grayson’s even turned off the engine.
“Carlee, wait up,” he calls out, jogging to catch me.
I burst through the glass doors like a woman on a mission. I have no idea where she is, but I’ll find her, even if I have to scale every damn inch of this place.
I make my way toward the desk that sits along the back wall, but before I reach it, I hear her.
“Carlee,” she says.
Pausing, my eyes scan the rows of seats that line the waiting room. The moment I see her, my heart drops. She looks so sad, so frightened. Her fingers are knitted together, resting in her lap, and her eyes are red and puffy.
“Em.”
I close the distance between us in a few strides. My arms are open, ready, and waiting for her. The moment she stands, I engulf her and she breaks down, sobbing. I don’t let go until she’s let it all out.
“I’ve got you,” I whisper, rubbing my hand up and down her spine.
Only when she draws back and wipes her eyes, do I ask the million-dollar question. “What’s going on?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?”
“I’m having a baby, Car. Ashton’s baby.”
“Is that why he left you here?”
“I don’t know.” She sniffles, swiping the back of her hand under her nose. “I think so. The doctor gave us the news and he just got up and walked out. I thought he needed a moment… that he’d come back, but he never did. ”
Ashton Black is a fucking dead man.
“I’m gonna kill you,” I scream the moment I open Emma’s door and see Ashton standing there. He’s got a nerve showing his face around here after what he just did. “I’m going to tear you apart, limb by limb.”
Grayson appears behind me in an instant, wrapping his arms around my waist just as I lunge for his friend.
“Let me go.” My arms and legs flail around in the air like a woman possessed.
“Settle down, Rambo,” Grayson says, chuckling.
“Your ass is mine, Black. Do you hear me?”
“Not on my watch,” Grayson replies.
Is he kidding me? Maybe he needs his ass whipped too.
“You’ve got some nerve showing your face around here,” I scoff, trying to wiggle myself out of Grayson’s hold.
“I’m here to see Emma,” Ashton says, shoving his hands into his pockets. I, however, want to shove my fist into his face. His gaze moves to the floor. “I need to talk to her.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you abandoned her at the damn hospital.”
“I know… I just needed some time to digest?—”
“Ashton,” Emma says, appearing in the doorway.
“Let’s go, Carlee,” Grayson says.
He must be smoking crack if he thinks I’m leaving Emma here with that twat. “I’m not leaving her alone with him.”
“Have it your way.” Before I even realize what’s happening, I’m scooped up and thrown over Grayson’s shoulder.
“Put me down.”
His hand comes down to swat my ass hard. “Not a chance in hell.”
In turn, I rain my own blows on his perfectly round, firm backside. Not hard enough to hurt him, but enough to get the message across.
Only once we’re back in my apartment, and he’s locked the door, does he gently place me back on my feet.
As I adjust my clothes, he retreats a few steps.
Smart man .
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“It was for your own good,” he says, holding his hands up in front of him. “Let the two of them work it out. It has nothing to do with us.”
Ugh.
I stamp my foot like a child. I’m so pissed right now… correction, I’m nuclear . I’m going to junk punch Ashton, so hard, he’s going to choke on his tiny man balls.
“For my own good? Are you kidding me? You heard what she said, he abandoned her at the hospital the moment the doctor told her she was carrying his child. Who does that? We were the ones that had to go and get her. I was the one who had to hold her while she sobbed in my arms.” I feel tears rise to my eyes. He’s a low-down dirty cunt for doing that to her. The lowest of low. I grind my clenched fist into my palm as I continue. “If that doesn’t deserve a beatdown, I don’t know what does.”
“A beatdown?” he says, chuckling.
I swat his chest. “This isn’t funny. ”
His hands rise a little higher; I’m not sure if it’s to pacify me or to shield himself. “Let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. He’s an asshole.”
“I know why he did it.”
“There’s nothing you can say that will make this okay, Grayson.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Can you hear yourself?” I yell. “I’m sick of you defending that douche.”
Stepping around him, I march toward the front door, ready to return to Emma’s to wreak havoc on Ashton’s sorry ass, but Grayson snags me around the waist again. On instinct I widen my stance, wrap my fingers tightly around his arm, twist my body, and jut out my hip, flipping him over my shoulder. He lands on the ground with a thud.
“For fuck’s sake, Carlee, will you stop doing that?”
I take another step forward. I need to stop using my ninja skills on him, but in all honesty, he really did deserve that one.
His hand comes out, snagging my ankle. “Sunshine,” he pleads.
“Don’t you dare sunshine me.”
“Babe, calm down. Let me explain. At least hear me out and if you’re still not convinced, I’ll walk you back over there myself.” I narrow my eyes because I don’t believe him for a second.
Grayson springs to his feet and reaches for my hand, but I slap it away.
“I cannot talk about this when the devil himself is raging inside of me.” He cracks a smile and I clench my fists. He’s walking a very fine line right now.
Sensing danger, he retreats another step. “Ashton didn’t leave because of the pregnancy, and it had nothing to do with Emma. He loves her. It was about him…” He runs his hands through his hair as he speaks. “ Fuck .”
“Spit it out, Grayson.”
“Ashton’s ex, Anastasia, was four months pregnant with their child when she killed herself.”
“What?”
“For the past six years, he’s struggled to deal with what happened. Well, to be honest, he’s never really dealt with any of it. I think today he reacted purely on instinct. He just needed a moment to process it all. He’s here now, and he’ll do right by her, that’s all that matters.”
“Until the next time he gets spooked.”
“There won’t be a next time. This is what’s been standing in his way all along. Deep down he’s a good guy, Carlee, and I know for a fact he’ll look after this baby, and Emma. And if by chance I’m wrong, which I know I’m not, I’ll personally kick his ass myself.”
I blow out a puff of air. “Promise.”
“Cross my heart,” he says, stepping forward and pulling me into his arms. Lifting my hand toward his face, he places a soft kiss on my palm. He knows this gesture is my kryptonite. It instantly makes my anger fade. “Let them sort it out.”
I sigh, absorbing his words. I knew the majority of Ashton’s assholeyness stemmed from his ex, but I had no idea she was pregnant with his child when she offed herself. I’m still angry at him, but I can’t help but feel for him too. It’s such a tragic turn of events.
I reciprocate Grayson’s hug. “Okay. I’m sorry for losing my shit. I’m just protective of the people I care about.”
He places a kiss on the top of my head. “I admire your loyalty, babe. Don’t ever apologize for being the person you are.”