16. Carlee
Chapter 16
Carlee
I turn into one of the parking spaces out the front of the swanky office building. ‘Black and Edwards Developments’ is scrawled across the facade in large silver letters. I took a chance coming here unannounced, but my need to see Grayson was too great. I’ve been on edge all morning, pinging off the walls, and unable to calm down the crippling anxiety raging inside me.
When he left to go to work earlier, things seemed okay between us. Well, apart from the fact he was sporting two black eyes. It fills me with dread every time I think about what I did to him last night. He’s been so attentive and caring, but he’s a good guy, that’s what he does. I’m worried that my confession is going to change our relationship.
Are things going to be weird between us now that the truth is out?
Will he start distancing himself from me?
Is he still able to look me in the eye without feeling sick to the stomach?
Is our sex life ruined?
All these things and more run through my mind on repeat.
My stomach churns at the thought. I’ve worked myself into a tizzy, to the point where I feel like I may hurl.
I never wanted this secret to come out. That’s why I’ve fought so hard to conceal it for so long.
I reach for the brown paper bag sitting on the passenger seat and exit the car. I wanted to do something nice for Grayson, so I made him lunch. It’s only a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a store-bought cookie because honestly, that’s about my limit, but I hope he appreciates the sentiment behind it if nothing else.
Pushing through the large glass doors, my eyes scan the lush, expansive foyer. This place reeks of money, just like everything else he owns. The pretty brunette sitting behind the front desk looks up at me and smiles. I freeze; I probably shouldn’t have come here.
“Can I help you?” she asks.
“Umm… I’m wondering if Grayson is free?” Her eyes move down the length of my body, taking me in, but not in a bitchy way. I see curiosity more than judgment. “I bought him some lunch.” I hold up the bag in my hand.
Her smile widens as she stands. “You must be Carlee.”
“You know who I am?”
“Grayson never shuts up about you,” she says, rounding the desk and extending her hand to me. “I’m Amber, his assistant.”
“Grayson talks about me… to you?” That thought makes me feel uneasy. What kind of things does he tell her?
“Relax,” she states, noticing my discomfit. “He only says good things. ”
“Ah, okay.”
“Come,” she says. “I’ll take you to him.”
I hope he’s okay with me being here.
The knots in my stomach intensify as Amber leads me toward his office. Her high heels click against the polished marble floor. She’s dressed to the nines, looking very put together in her power suit. It’s a far cry from the casual attire I wear to work. It’s just another reminder of how I don’t fit into Grayson’s world.
We walk down a long corridor, passing door after door and what I presume is a conference room. It sits behind large glass, floor-to-ceiling windows, there’s a long wooden table inside, with a plentitude of chairs sitting around it.
Amber stops when we reach the end of the corridor, and I look up to see ‘CEO Grayson Edwards’ in bold black letters written on the gold plaque in the center of the door. My anxiety ramps up a notch.
She knocks twice before opening. “You’ve got a visitor,” she says. I’m standing behind her, but off to the side, so I have a clear view of him from here. He glances up at her and my tummy flips. He looks so hot sitting behind his desk in his sexy suit being all businesslike. I want to gobble him up. “I know you said you didn’t want to be disturbed, but I thought you’d want to see this one.”
Shit, I should’ve called first.
When Amber nudges her head in my direction, his eyes dart to me. I hold my breath, anticipating his reaction, but the moment our eyes lock, his face lights up and relief floods through me.
“Carlee!”
“Hey.”
“Come in,” he says, sitting back in his chair and motioning me forward.
I step into the room. “It was nice to meet you, Carlee,” Amber says as she reaches for the door handle to close it behind her.
“Likewise,” I reply, giving her a brief smile over my shoulder.
Turning my attention back to Grayson, I find him still grinning. “This is a nice surprise.”
I observe the mountain of paperwork around him. “I’m sorry to disturb you, I can see you’re busy.”
“Come here,” he says, crooking his finger at me. His eyes track my movements as I cross the room, stopping when I reach his side of the desk. Scooting his chair back, he pulls me down onto his lap. “I may be busy, but I’ll always make time for you, sunshine. You’re my girl… my number one priority.”
He always knows the perfect thing to say. Nobody has ever made me feel like I’m their number one. I may have fought us in the beginning, but not anymore, I love being his.
“I won’t stay long, I just wanted to bring you some lunch.” I hold up his sandwich, and he takes it from me, placing it on his desk.
“I’d rather have you for lunch.”
“That sounds… nice.”
He grasps my chin, bringing my face closer to his. “I may not have been expecting you, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make the most of your visit. You’ve been on my mind all morning.”
I cringe a little on the inside. I hope his thoughts weren’t about last night. I don’t want him thinking about what happened to me, I just want to put it behind us.
I swallow thickly. “What do you have in mind?”
“Wicked dirty things of course.” He closes the small distance between our faces, nipping at my bottom lip .
I shouldn’t have expected anything less from this man. He’s an animal. “What kind of dirty things?”
“First, I’m going to bury my face in your pussy and make you come with my tongue, and then I’m going to lay you out on my desk and fuck you into next week. How does that sound?”
I feel my cheeks pinken as moisture floods my panties. “It sounds like a really good plan.”
“See this blush,” he says, running the tip of his finger from my neck down to my cleavage, “it almost brings me to my knees.”
He lifts me off his lap, placing my ass on the edge of his desk, and maneuvering his chair closer until he’s nestled between my parted legs.
My fingers glide through his thick hair. “What did Ashton say when he saw your black eyes?”
He winces. That douche better not have made fun of him or I’ll gladly give him a matching set.
“I lied to him,” he confesses.
“Lied how?”
“I told him I tripped and faceplanted the ground. Naturally, he was concerned, but still smiled like a motherfucker.” He shakes his head. “If I told him my girlfriend whipped my ass, I’d never live it down.”
My fingertips ghost down the side of his beautiful face. “I’m so sorry.” I hate that I hurt him.
“Stop apologizing.”
“I feel awful.”
“Sunshine,” he says, tipping my chin. “If I had respected your wishes in the first place, none of this would’ve happened.”
“I still feel like a boyfriend basher.”
“At least I know if someone ever jumps us, I’ve got you to protect me. ”
I slap his chest. “You’re supposed to protect me , asshole.”
“Always,” he says chuckling as he leans forward and places his lips against mine. “Never doubt that for a second, babe.”
When I arrive at Grayson’s house, I find him standing outside waiting for me. A few weeks have passed since I told him about what happened when I was thirteen. And he’s still here. Things between us have been amazing, but those old insecurities I have about not being worthy are still at the forefront of my mind. Although there are no signs that the end is near, I can’t help feeling like we’re living on borrowed time.
Grayson opens my door before I get the chance to. “Hey,” he says with a smile, leaning an arm on the roof of my car and reaching for my hand with the other. “I’ve been standing out here forever, what took you so long?”
“Traffic.”
He helps me from the vehicle before rocking back on his feet… he seems on edge. I’m staying over tonight… in his bedroom… beside him; he may be nervous about that. I would be if I were him, especially after I physically assaulted him last time. This is our second attempt. I chickened out on our first. I was worried I was going to unknowingly injure him again.
He’s perceptive though, noticing straight away that something was off. I was scared to speak up, but he stepped in and took the decision out of my hands. Cupping my face, he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “ You’re not ready ,” he whispered against my skin. When he turned and left my apartment, I felt like a coward, but in my heart, I knew he was right.
“Well, you’re here now, that’s all that matters.” Tugging me forward, he plants his lips on mine. “I’ve missed my sunshine.” It’s been two very long days since I last saw him, but who’s counting?
I draw back, taking in his handsome face. The bruising under his eyes is long gone, but I still beat myself up about what I did to him that night. My fingertips graze down the side of his face. “I’ve missed you too, Gray.”
His eyes enlarge, and his smile grows. “You called me Gray.”
“So.”
“You’ve never called me that before.”
“And your point?”
“It means we’re close.”
“We bump uglies every time we’re alone in a room together, so I’m pretty sure that’s a given.”
My vulgarity makes him chuckle. “There’s nothing ugly about your pussy, babe.”
“I’m pretty fond of your cock too, just sayin’.”
“I’m happy to hear that, but what I’m trying to say is that you like me, Carlee.”
“I think you know I like you.”
I more than like him.
I can’t even put my feelings into words because they’re so foreign to me. All I know is that somewhere along the way he went from a good time to my entire world.
“You don’t just like me, Carlee, you like me , like me.”
“Okay,” I say, filling my lungs with air. Where is he going with this ?
“Admit it, I want to hear the words, pretty girl.”
I casually lift one shoulder. “I might be falling for you, so what.”
His fingers twirl around the ends of my hair, but his face gives nothing away. “Might be?” I don’t miss the twinkle in his eyes, he’s enjoying watching me squirm.
It’s hard for me to put myself out there like this. I’m so used to the rejection. “Don’t go getting too cocky, mister, I said I’m falling… that means I haven’t landed yet.”
His lips tilt up at the corners as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “Well, you’re lucky I have these exceptionally big guns,” he says, flexing one of his impressive biceps. He’s such a suavey bastard. “It means I’ll have no trouble catching you when you finally do fall.”
Reaching up, I squeeze his hard muscle, just because I love touching him. I don’t add any commentary because the last thing his ego needs is inflating.
“That’s very chivalrous of you, Mr. Edwards.”
He shrugs. “What can I say, I’m a great guy like that.”
I laugh at this because modesty has never been his strong suit. “Of course, you are.”
“On a serious note, I get you’re still working on it. With some people, it doesn’t always happen easily.” Lifting his hand, his finger gently skates over my lips. “I can wait, just don’t make me wait too long.”
“You’ve lost me. Are we still talking about the same thing?”
He blows out an exasperated breath. “We’re talking about your heart, sunshine. You know this thing in here.” His finger moves from my face to my chest, where he lightly taps the tip against my breastbone. “One day that little switch in here will flick on, and when it does, there will be no turning back.”
“Huh? ”
“Sweet baby Jesus, woman.” He tilts his head back in frustration, staring up at the sky. When his gaze finally comes back to mine, his features have turned serious. “Let me make this a bit simpler. I love you, Carlee Just-Carlee, and I’m looking forward to the day when you love me back.”
I gulp in some air. “You love me?”
“You happened in a heartbeat for me. The moment I first saw you, I knew I didn’t stand a chance.”
His words almost knock me on my ass. He loves me.
“I—”
“Shh,” he says, placing his finger over my mouth. “I know this may seem too soon for you, but I can’t help how I feel.” When tears burn the back of my eyes, I instinctively raise my hands to cover my face. “Hey.” Grayson gently peels them away, and his brows draw in when he sees my tears. “Christ, Carlee.” He pulls my face into his chest when a small sob escapes. I have no control over my reaction; I’m feeling so overwhelmed. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry, I’ll take it back if you want me to.”
“Don’t you dare take it back,” I reply through a hiccup. How have I lived my entire life without feeling anything close to this?
“Sweetheart,” he says, tightening his embrace and resting his chin on the top of my head.
“I’m sorry for being a crybaby.”
“Don’t be. I’m not going to lie… it wasn’t the reaction I expected.”
“It’s not what you think; I’m just a little stunned. You’re the second person to ever say those words to me,” I mumble into his chest. “Emma was the first.”
He cups my face, tilting it back to his. “Are you serious?” I nod as my eyes well up again. “I find that hard to believe, you’re such an easy person to love, Carlee.”
Emma has said the same thing, but it makes me wonder why my parents were never able to see what they do.
The pads of his thumbs gently brush over my cheeks, wiping away my tears, and I sniffle. “Thank you for saying that.”
“It’s the truth. The best decision I ever made was meeting up with Ashton at the club that night. If I hadn’t, I may never have met you, and that, my love , would’ve been a travesty. You’re everything I never knew I wanted… a gift I’ll treasure forever.”
My love. He’s so goddamn swoony.
“Thank you for wanting me.”
“For wanting you?” He clenches his eyes closed for a brief moment, inhaling a large breath. “That statement alone breaks my damn heart. How could anyone not want you?”
That’s a question I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to answer.
He brushes his lips over mine once more before reaching for my hand. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, come, I have a surprise for you.”
“You do?”
“Uh-huh.” He reaches into his pocket pulling out the control for his garage door as we walk hand in hand down his drive. The first thing I see when it opens is a shiny red car. It must be new.
“What do you think?” he asks as we step closer.
“Very nice, but seriously, did you need another car?”
“It’s not mine, it’s yours.”
My eyes widen. “You bought me a car? ”
“A Mustang GT convertible to be precise. Red, just like that sexy fuckable mouth of yours.” I stand there blinking up at him in stunned silence. “The day I saw her, I got an instant boner imagining you sitting behind the wheel.”
“It’s… it’s beautiful, but I can’t accept it.”
“It’s a gift, Carlee.”
“You don’t need to buy me extravagant things, Grayson. That’s not why I’m with you. I’m not used to this kind of thing.”
“Well, get used to it. One day this is all going to be yours too.” He gestures his hand around our surroundings as he speaks. I know he’s referring to us being married. As strong as we are, I still struggle to believe that this will one day be my reality.
“Money isn’t important to me.”
“And that’s just one of the many things I love about you.” My throat clogs up when he mentions the L word again. “I want to give you the world… please let me .”
“You really are the sweetest,” I say, fisting my hands in the front of his shirt. “But, none of that matters to me. Not your bank account, or your ridiculously big house. Just you . I just want you.”
“I just want you too, babe. All the other fluff is just an added bonus, the perks of having too much money. Let me look after you, Carlee. I worry about you driving around late at night in that… thing .”
I gasp. “Thing?” I step back, letting my arms fall by my side. “There’s nothing wrong with the car I have.”
He scrubs his hand over his face in frustration. “I didn’t mean to insult you.”
“Well, you did. Is that what this is all about, you’re embarrassed by your neighbors seeing my car parked outside your place?”
“What? Christ no. That didn’t even cross my mind. I’m not a pretentious snob, Carlee. Like I said, I just thought you’d be safer driving around in a new car. It comes with roadside assistance, and remember the other night when you said you almost froze your ass off when you left work? Well, that’s no longer a problem because your new ride has heated seats.”
Heated seats? I didn’t even realize that was a thing, but I push that thought from my mind. “I’m not accepting the car, Grayson.”
He raises an eyebrow, challenging me. “Yes, you are. It’s rude to give back a gift.” Placing the key fob he’s holding into my hand, he curls my fingers around it, like it’s a done deal. “Let’s take her for a spin.”
Grr. He’s such a caveman sometimes.
Reluctantly I walk around the driver’s side. “Just because I’m letting you force me into taking it for a drive, doesn’t mean I’m keeping it.”
“Fight it all you want, but I have every confidence you’ll change your mind once you get behind the wheel.”
“You’re delusional if you think that.”
He comes up behind me, sliding his arm around my waist and pulling my back into his front. He swoops my hair to the side and places a kiss in his second favorite spot, just under my ear. “Nah, I’m just a man in love with his girl,” he whispers against my skin, making me swoon.
Grayson opens the driver’s side door, gesturing for me to get in. The first thing I’m hit with is the smell of new leather. Once I’m seated inside, my eyes are everywhere. The interior is a stylish combination of red and black, perfectly matching the outside. She is lovely, it’s a shame I can’t keep her.
Once Grayson is seated beside me, he starts going over the features of the car. Most of it goes straight over my head, but I’m still engrossed in his enthusiasm. He knows what he’s talking about; it’s so dang hot I have to fan myself as I listen to him.
“I’m nervous,” I say, once the engine purrs to life. Did I mention it’s a push start… no key?
“Don’t be. Just enjoy the ride.”
Fancy-smancy.
“The only rides I enjoy are the ones I take on you.”
He reaches over to squeeze my thigh. “You can take me for a test drive when we get back.”
“Oh, I plan to. You’re so getting laid.”
He chuckles as I tentatively put the car into drive and start moving at a snail’s pace. “Babe, I’ve seen you drive; I know you can go faster than this.”
“I’m scared. What if I ding it or something?”
“It’s just a car, Carlee, don’t worry about it.”
“Just a car? To you maybe. I’m not used to fancy things.”
I turn onto Beach Drive, still going well below the speed limit. The car behind us honks his horn, making me jump.
“You’re going to have to go a little faster,” Grayson says, suppressing a grin.
I cautiously take a right onto 10 th Street and then a left onto Hermosa Avenue. There’s no set route planned; I’ll just drive around until I’ve had enough, or until Grayson tells me to stop… or I crash. Shit. I hope I don’t crash.
“Open her up,” Grayson encourages as we get a break in the traffic.
I do as he instructs, putting my foot down a little harder, and the nerves are soon replaced by a thrill. It drives like a dream. The top’s down, the wind is in my hair, and there’s a huge smile on my face. This car puts my little Red Rocket to shame, but I’m still not keeping her. I can’t. One day I’ll save enough money to get myself a decent ride, but that day isn’t today.
Grayson knew exactly what he was doing when he encouraged me to take it for a spin. He’s cunning like that. I’ve never driven anything like this before, and I’m pretty sure that was his motive.
“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, she is,” I admit, sighing.
“You’re going to keep her right?”
My eyes leave the road to glance in his direction. I shake my head and he unleashes his infamous puppy dog eyes. I’m a sucker for those big mint chocolate orbs at the best of times. He doesn’t play fair.
“Grayson.”
“Carlee.” He reaches across the center console, placing his hand on my leg. When his fingers inch their way under my skirt, I squirm in my seat. “Do you know how fucking hot you look driving this?” He uses his other hand to adjust the bulge in his pants. “I’m so hard right now. I have a good mind to make you pull over so I can have my way with you right here on the side of the road.”
“Anyone would look good in this ride.”
“Not as good as you, sunshine.”
“I’m not saying this car isn’t amazing, because it is. And I appreciate the sentiment behind you buying it, but I can’t accept it.”
“You can and you will.”
“Stop being a brute.”
“I will as soon as you stop being a brat.”
“You’re pissing me off.”
“Ditto. Just suck it up and accept the damn car. You know you want to.”
He’s right, I do, but it doesn’t sit right with me. Roxy mooched off her men her entire life, it’s how she got by, but I swore to myself a long time ago I’d never be anything like her.
“You’re infuriating.”
“And you’re a feisty little spitfire, who’s now the proud owner of a brand-new Mustang. Let me do this for you, it’ll give me peace of mind to know you’re safe when I’m not around to escort you home from work.”
“You don’t play fair.”
The cocky fucker that he is, looks over at me and winks. “I never claimed I did.”
An hour passes, maybe longer, before we finally pull up outside his house again. I’m sure my hair is a windblown mess, but I don’t care. Once I got used to driving the Mustang, there was no stopping me. I tried to make the most of my time in the car because tomorrow Grayson’s going to have to take her back.
“That was… fun.”
“I knew you’d love it. It’s a done deal, you’re keeping it.”
“No. I meant what I said, Grayson.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Give me one good reason why?”
That’s an easy one. “I’m not my mother.”
I go to exit the vehicle, but Grayson intercepts me by grabbing hold of my wrist. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I blow out a puff of air. “Roxy used her men for whatever she could get.” I turn my face to look at him. He needs to understand this. “I’m not her.”
“Carlee,” he says, somehow managing to lift me over the center console and onto his lap. “Is that what this is about?” I dip my head, lifting one shoulder. “Hey, look at me.” He places his finger under my chin and tilts my face toward his. “I know you’re nothing like her. ”
“Still, I don’t feel right taking it.”
“Our situation is nothing like hers. You’re going to be my wife.”
“So, you keep saying.”
Grayson’s eyebrows pinch together into a frown. “You’re going to be my wife, Carlee!”
“Do I get a say in any of this?”
“When I ask you, and believe me that day will come, as long as you say yes then of course you do.”
“And if I say no?”
“Then we’re going to have a problem.”
I narrow my eyes, even though my heart is thumping against my rib cage. He speaks about our future with such certainty, that I’m starting to believe there’s a chance we may have one. Will I be Mrs. Grayson Edwards one day? I’m scared to hope.
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Carlee. I don’t think you understand just how much you mean to me, and one day I know you’re going to love me back just as hard.”
I’m pretty sure I already do, but I can’t seem to find the courage to voice it out loud.
Leaning forward, he places his lips on mine. “Now, turn around and hike up that sexy skirt.” He swats my ass as he says it. “It’s time for you to take a ride on my cock.”