11. Four months later
Chapter Eleven
FOUR MONTHS LATER
River
How can I miss him so completely and we’d only just begun to know each other intimately? I returned home half expecting he’d reach out at some point. In my fantasies, he’d show up and tell me how empty his life has been without me, but that hasn’t happened. Worse, I haven’t gotten a phone call, text, or email. My outlook changes from day to day. Some days, I’m okay with it. Others, I’m livid. On rare occasions, I see it as a one-night stand. Yet I still want more.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, hot and bothered from a dream I’ve had about him, while others I’m upset because he told me all the things I feared to hear from him. Today is one of the bad days. I stayed in bed until one and dared to venture out of my childhood room to make toast.
“So, if I had some brie, roasted pears, and ummmm…chutney, what wine would I drink with that?”
My dad is trying to keep me on my toes with wine questions. I’ve picked up a few jobs as a bartender, but nothing like the one I had for Theodore. The environment and pay were much higher scale.
“Why would you have chutney with the things you just listed?”
He shrugs and throws me one of his megawatt smiles. “People are weird. Your mom ate all kinds of weird combos when pregnant,” he supplies like that helps.
“Then the wine selection shouldn’t matter.”
“Except that pregnant women can have one glass a day, right?”
“No clue?”
“Aren’t you supposed to know.” He puts down his crossword puzzle to give me a proper side eye.
Sighing, I walk over to his recliner and climb in his lap like I’m five years old again. He releases a boisterous laugh and huffs and puffs like I’m much too heavy to be held by him.
“My legs! My legs! Help me, Moria!”
My mom comes into the room and laughs at the sight in front of her.
“What’s going on here?”
“Dad is giving me a hard time so I sat on him.”
She giggles and swats my shoulder. “Use your powers for good, River.”
I join them laughing and kiss my dad’s forehead before I move to the couch and lie down like my world is ending.
“Just call him or take a trip to see him, honey.” I look at my mom, wishing it was my sister who gave who advice so I could throw a pillow at her. “Don’t look at me like that. I can still spank you. There is nothing like closure, you can’t hide from him forever.”
Of course I can’t tell my parents that I’m sad over a married man. “I might go back for a bit. I miss my job. The money was so much better.”
“And so was your drink knowledge,” my dad points out while he goes back to his puzzle. I think he needs a pillow as well.
“Maybe,” I mumble so they’ll drop it. As I scroll through social media on my phone, the toast is forgotten. I still follow Helena because I want to be nosy and in the business. I’ve seen him at some of her events since I left, and it does look like they stayed together. I can’t tell if he’s happy because the few pictures he’s in, I can’t really see his eyes. He still has a poker face, but I’ve learned a few things since spending time with him.
I stare at him in the tuxedo. He looks so good it hurts. The caption of the next post catches my eye. Helena is dressed up and holding Theodore’s hand as he’s walking away. She smiles at the camera, and the caption reads: We’re excited to interview surrogates.
I sit up so fast, I choke on air, scaring the hell out of my parents.
“Sorry.” Cough. Cough. “Spit went the wrong way,” I croak to keep them from being alarmed.
“Surrogates” means that they’re trying again, but Helena cannot have babies for one reason or another. Despite the radio silence, I can’t help but feel bad for Theodore. A kid is all he wants from her. Standing, I make a snap decision, and this time I hope it doesn’t end in doom.
“I’m going to pack. You’re right. I should face my problems head on. I’m done hiding.”
My parents clap at my little speech, but do not move to help me get ready. I check my airline app and find a redeye nonstop ticket for cheap. I can’t believe I’m going back into the belly of the beast, but I need answers, and I just might have explanations of my own to hand out.
I strip for my shower and stare at myself in the mirror as I put my hair in a messy bun. I look tired. I’ll need to apply some concealer once I leave, but everything else is all good. As I look myself in the eyes, I give a pep talk necessary for me to get on the plane and follow through with my plan.
“You must do this, River. It’s only right.”
Turning to the side, I stare at my naked abdomen and run my hand over the soft swell. I know it’s in there, but I can’t feel it move yet. That’s the part I’m waiting for, although I adore the times I get to hear the heartbeat. The issue is, pregnancy is expensive, and even if we didn’t part well, Theodore needs to know that he’s closer to his dream than he thinks.
Helena is what gives me pause, but I’m willing to turn the baby over to Theodore if that means it’ll have a good life. I’m just not sure if it’s possible with a mother like Helena.
The city looks the same, but the scents are more enhanced due to my now sensitive nose. My rideshare is taking me to a hotel near Theodore’s bar so I zone out and call the number I’ve stared at what feels like a thousand times.
“Simon and Jones Law Firm, how may I direct your call?”
“Hi, I need to speak to the lawyer handling the surrogate search for the Kellys?”
“Hold while I send you to Melody Sanchez.” The hold music makes me nervous, but my pressure spikes once she answers.
“Sanchez, how may I help you?”
“Hi, I know the Kellys are looking for surrogates who are also willing to use their own eggs, but can you check to see if they’d consider adopting a baby. It’s due in five months.”
The lawyer sighs like I’m slow to understand the assignment. “Mr. Kelly is clear that he wants a surrogate.”
“I know, just hear me out. He knows me, so can you please just pass the message and ask?”
“Ma’am, if he knows you, why can’t you ask him yourself?”
“I’m trying to do it through the proper channels. I know this is a delicate process, and I don’t want to flood them with more information. Please. Just ask him if he’s willing to adopt, make sure to use my name, River Dupont’s child.”
I give her my phone number and hang up the phone. Dropping my head back, I take a deep breath to calm my emotions. That was harder than I thought. We stop in front of a hotel I’ve walked past several times. It’s hard to come back to a city where you once lived as a visitor. I want to walk to the penthouse or my old apartment, but both of those places are off limits. Instead, I check in, grab a sandwich from the onsite restaurant, and go to my room. All will be right after a shower and a nap. My little passenger makes me tired more often, but it’s all worth it. The love I feel for him or her outweighs the inconveniences.
My room is a typical hotel room, with carpet that doesn’t seem to match anything else, but it’s a nice size and clean. I drop my bag on the bed and dig out some clothes. I spend my entire shower fantasizing about the nap I'm going to take as soon as I finish. Dressing comfortably in a tank and yoga pants, I release a long yawn as I stretch across the bed.
A knock has me popping back up and cursing myself for not putting the ‘do not disturb’ sign on my door. I grab the sign and open the door.
“I don’t want-”
My words die on my lips when Theodore takes the tag from me and puts it on the door. Without a word, he stalks forward, causing me to walk backwards as his intense blue gaze remains locked on me. My hormone intensified body reacts to his nearness, preparing to do anything he wants. Andrea appears a few seconds later and closes the door, bumping into the bed. I sit while both men stare down at me.
“I’m going to ask you one time and one time only,” he begins. “Did you steal from me?” The question is the last thing I expect, and I must be giving him a weird look because he sighs. “Answer me, River.”
“No. Steal what?” I hope he can see that I’m beyond offended by the question because I am.
“How did you pay, Surly?”
I sigh hard now that we’re catching up. “I should have known…Helena practically threw it at me. She told me you two were stronger than ever and both of you felt I needed to pay Surly and go.”
Theodore closes his eyes and cracks his neck, something he does when he’s irritated, then focuses on me again.
“Stand,” he orders me with one word.
I do as he asks and his eyes roam over my body, softening when they land on my belly. I raise my shirt to give him a better view.
“Is it…”
“Capable of meeting the requirements of your surrogacy request? Yes. My egg and your sperm.”
“Hell yeah. I’m going to be an uncle,” Andrea boasts and pats Theodore on the back. “We did it, buddy. I told you River looked fertile.”
“What?” I snap my head in Andrea’s direction, but he just looks back at me unapologetically.
Theodore shakes his head, but his eyes have yet to leave my small bump. “Ignore him.”
“That’s my cue. Congratulations.”
Andrea is gone before Theodore’s hand grazes my belly. My eyes flutter because it feels too good being touched by him.
“I didn’t send you away. I’d never send anyone, especially not Helena, to say anything for me.” His eyes move up to meet mine. “I speak for myself. Understand?”
“It’s not my place to argue with your wife. I only believed her because I saw the regret on your face before she appeared.”
His hand is flat on my abdomen and the flex of his fingers feels almost possessive. Theodore looks up, his blue eyes are glossy with emotion, making him appear to be on the verge of tears.
“No. I didn’t like that I pulled you into the middle of my fucked-up marriage. I didn’t like that I’d placed myself in the position to cheat. You didn’t want to be a mistress, and I’m not the kind of man who wanted one. I should have realized she wasn’t going to give me children long before the night I touched you.” He shakes his head. “I’ve never regretted touching you, kissing you, making you come all night.” Dropping to his knees, he places his head on my abdomen as if he can hear the baby’s heartbeat. “And I have no fucking regrets about getting you pregnant.”
I feel the moisture on my belly before he looks up at him with tears streaming down his face.
“Oh, Theodore…”
He makes no moves to hide his emotions and that makes him sexier. “I’m going to be a dad.” Kissing my belly all over, his fingertips dig into my hips. “One night with you. One night. And over six fucking years…”
He’s not talking to me. The numbness of the shock has worn off and he’s now marveling in the knowledge that he has a baby of his own on the way. I run my fingers through his hair as he takes a moment with our child. I can’t resist touching him any longer. I never wanted to be in this position, but I can’t stop wanting him. Our thoughts must be in the same vein because he stops peppering my belly with kisses for the baby. The slower, lingering kisses that he is pressing on my side and stomach as he rolls down my pants to expose the skin of my lower abdomen are all for the mama.
“River…” He says my name with his voice thickened like that night four months ago. My already heated body feels capable of coming apart from the tone of his voice alone. When our eyes connect this time, his are full of the desire I’ve only seen once. “If you’re still uncomfortable with sleeping with a married man, run. This is the sexiest fucking thing I’ve seen, and if we go there this time, I’m not stopping.”