Chapter 18
18
‘Think of a talent,’ Kate spoke as she passed Lynn by the filing cabinet and hurried over to her desk.
‘What?’ Lynn queried.
‘Shh, come here,’ Kate beckoned as she turned on her computer and started to go through her in tray.
‘What’s all the whispering for?’ Lynn asked in a whisper.
‘I don’t want Lady Dragon to hear. I’ve got a client in ten minutes and I should be reviewing the file but this is important. I need a talent by the end of today. Something I can learn, something I can perform on stage at this Knowing Me Knowing You thing,’ Kate continued, opening a file and sitting down.
‘Like fire eating? Or sword swallowing? Now that would be really cool,’ Lynn remarked with a grin.
‘I was hoping for something that wouldn’t kill me and something I can learn quickly,’ Kate replied.
‘Ooh, I know just the thing. Burlesque!’ Lynn exclaimed excitedly.
‘What?’
‘Burlesque, you must have heard of it.’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘Well basically, you dress up in a raunchy yet tasteful costume, like a corset and gloves and those dresses with the ruffles at the back and it’s kind of a striptease but in good taste,’ Lynn attempted to explain.
‘A striptease in good taste. Is that possible?’ Kate asked.
‘Yes, it’s more about suggestion rather than anything sleazy. My friend Melanie does it. I can ask her for a costume. Yes, that’s definitely what you should do. It would be great. We’re coming, by the way – to the show – me and Darren,’ Lynn added.
‘Oh you don’t have to do that.’
‘I can’t wait; we haven’t had a proper night out in ages. Right, well I’ll phone Melanie about the costume and you can look up burlesque on the internet. Google Dita Von Teese or Christina Aguilera; she’s got some film coming out.’
‘You’re talking in riddles,’ Kate exclaimed as Lynn disappeared towards the door.
‘Mr Watkins will be here in seconds,’ Lynn called.
‘Kate, do you have a moment?’
Kate hadn’t noticed Miranda arrive at her shoulder. She looked sombre faced and was in the little black suit she usually reserved for funerals and meeting the bereaved for the initial meeting. If she was wearing it for any other reason, it usually meant bad news.
‘Well, Mr Watkins is due in any minute and—’ Kate started.
‘I hear Colin has suggested you take the legal practice course to gain your solicitor’s qualification,’ Miranda continued.
‘Yes,’ Kate answered with a swallow.
‘And how do you feel about that?’
‘Well, I haven’t really had a chance to think about it.’
‘No, I suppose not, what with a child and everything to worry about. It’s a big decision and an enormous responsibility taking on more studying, isn’t it? ’
‘Yes, it is,’ Kate responded.
She knew exactly what Miranda’s game was. She had to be really floundering to launch a one-on-one attack.
‘Reading through all those text books until the small hours, burning the midnight oil, no time for anything else,’ Miranda continued.
She sounded so desperate.
‘As I said, I haven’t had time to think about it yet.’
It might be fun to keep her hanging, not give any clue as to her feelings about the offer one way or the other. Seeing as she’d been trying to discredit her in the office and to her clients, the cow deserved to sweat.
‘No, of course. Well, I wasn’t trying to put you off. I just thought you should know that it isn’t all pass an exam and get a fancy title; there’s a lot of hard work that has to go into it,’ Miranda responded quickly, flicking her mane of hair back.
‘I realise that,’ Kate spoke, staring at her hairline and squinting her eyes to try and study it more closely.
‘Perfect, good. Well, don’t keep Mr Watkins waiting,’ Miranda spoke, preparing to depart back to her office.
‘I won’t. And thanks Miranda for your advice; it’s really appreciated. I hope you’re coming to Knowing Me Knowing You . I know Joel was looking forward to seeing you again,’ Kate spoke with a ‘life is wonderful, I’m getting on without him’ smile.
‘Of course I’ll be there. In fact, Andrew Kent is taking me,’ Miranda said a smug smile spreading over her perfectly made-up face.
‘Perfect,’ Kate replied, clutching the Watkins file to her chest.
Miranda tossed her blonde hair high over her shoulder and teetered back to her room, closing the door behind her.
Kate let out a sigh. The silly tart was obviously pissed off Colin had made the offer. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. It would mean a lot of study, attention away from Bethan, but it would also mean more money and more status within the firm. She would be on an equal footing with Miranda. And then, if she was offered partnership, she would be stepping over the Lady Dragon entirely. She didn’t know how that would work though, what with Miranda being the head of department, perhaps she would have to move departments. Did she want to do that? And it was more responsibility; there would be no margin for error, she would have to be on top of her game. Was that what she wanted? Sometimes, her head felt like it was going to explode when she was getting into the technicalities of inheritance tax. Did she really want that feeling every day?
Her phone rang and Ruby announced the arrival of Mr Watkins. From what Kate remembered from the last time she met him, he had a full-length beard and breath that smelt of pickled onions. If it was the same case today, he would have to be over and done within five chargeable units.
‘Do you know anything about burlesque?’ Kate asked Hermione as her friend put a cup of green tea down on the table in front of her.
‘Ooh la la! Burlesque! Why do you ask, sweetie?’
‘Oh I have to have a stupid talent to show off at the show and I had no idea what to do. I didn’t even know about it until Joel told me it was on the show information sheet, which I didn’t read properly. So then Lynn suggests burlesque and gets all excited and phones her mental friend Melanie who turns up with this, this and this and I haven’t a clue what to do with any of it,’ Kate explained, pulling a corset, a fan and a feather boa out of her bag.
‘Ooh I say! Va va voom!’ Hermione spoke excitedly .
‘Am I totally mad? What am I doing? It was bad enough standing on stage just answering questions; now I am going to have to prance around like some sort of nineteenth-century hooker,’ Kate exclaimed, drinking some tea.
‘What does Joel say?’
‘I can’t tell him; he would be so embarrassed, he would probably pull out of the show.’
‘What’s his talent? Apart from obviously being a perfect gentleman and the most gorgeous guy on the planet.’
‘Apparently, he plays the guitar. He’s probably had lessons from James Blunt. He’s going to be great and I’m going to be terrible.’
‘Well, my suggestion to you would be to think “role play”. When you dress up in costume, give yourself a whole new identity. I don’t know, make yourself Maria De Cruz, the Spanish countess, not Kate Baxter, the legal executive. You are mysterious, exciting, sultry and alluring, lose yourself in your music, be at one with the fan, use your props like they are part of you,’ Hermione spoke and she picked up the fan, flicked it out with force and hid her face so only her eyes were showing, attempting to bat her eyelashes seductively.
‘Have you heard yourself?’
‘You want to win the show, don’t you?’
‘Well yes, but I also don’t want to make an idiot of myself in front of the Lady Dragon and the partners of Randall’s.’
‘It will look worse if you don’t commit to the performance. Don’t you watch X Factor ? How many contestants get accused of lacking emotion and not committing? Simon Cowell practically says it every week.’
‘How many of them attempt burlesque?’ Kate queried .
‘That would be novel, wouldn’t it? But more Britain’s Got Talent I’d say.’
‘I’ve got to look on YouTube later, see exactly how much dancing and seductiveness is required. Are you still OK to have Bethan overnight that night?’
‘Of course, I’m looking forward to it. We’re going to go swimming and make apple tarts.’
‘Want to swap? You do the burlesque routine and I’ll bake and swim?’
‘You know I would in a flash but it isn’t my name on the entry form, more’s the pity. And besides that, I’m not sure I would let you use my oven unsupervised.’
‘Mummy, Mummy!’ Bethan called as she toddled into the kitchen and held her arms out to Kate.
‘Hello darling! Come and give Mummy a cuddle,’ Kate spoke, scooping Bethan up in her arms and savouring the feeling of the daughter.
‘She’s looking more like you every day. And when I say something she doesn’t like the sound of, like “come and have your face wiped” she wrinkles her nose up just like you do,’ Hermione said.
‘You’ve never offered to wipe my face and I don’t wrinkle my nose,’ Kate answered, immediately wrinkling her nose.
‘Oh Bethan, Mummy is funny, isn’t she?’ Hermione said with a laugh.
When Kate got home, there was a pile of post waiting on the doormat. There was a new menu from a Chinese takeaway with an offer on sweet and sour chicken and prawn crackers, another leaflet about losing half your body weight at Joel’s gym and the rest were bills. She picked them up and deposited them on the table. She couldn’t face looking at them just yet.
She bathed Bethan, put her to bed and spent the next hour looking at burlesque dancers on the internet. It made her shudder. The women all looked so confident in themselves and their bodies. They looked submissive, yet powerful, prim, yet flirtatious, playful, yet controlled. She had no idea where to begin. In the end, watching the dancers being everything she wasn’t was getting her down so she turned the computer off and set her Fisherman’s pie to cook. She had a litre of German Hock to wash it down with and she had started that already.
There was a council tax bill, a credit card statement and a car insurance renewal. When she opened the fourth envelope, her heart almost stopped. It was from the Child Support Agency. She read the words, trying to take them in, but as she read, a chill crept over her. Matthew was questioning Bethan’s paternity; he wanted a DNA test.
Kate’s heart began to pound as she re-read the letter, trying to take it all in. Why would he do this? How could he do this? She wanted to cry but the tears wouldn’t come; a ball of emotion was lodged in her chest, unmoving.
She picked up the phone and dialled in Hermione’s number. It rang and rang and no one picked it up. The microwave beeped and Kate’s breathing quickened as she ended the call and dialled a different number. Her mind was working overtime. How dare he? How did they take DNA tests these days? Was it a blood test or a mouth swab? She should ask Lynn; she was up to speed with detective shows.
‘Hello.’
‘Oh, er hello Joel, it’s Kate. I, erm, I’m sorry to call, Hermione isn’t in and I just need…’ Kate began, trying hard to swallow the tears that were beginning to leak out.
Why had she phoned him?
‘Is everything OK?’ Joel asked.
‘No, I… I’m sorry, I’ll call someone else. I shouldn’t have called you. I’ll try Lynn,’ Kate spoke as sh e began to cry out loud, the thought of subjecting Bethan to any procedure making her feel sick.
‘Don’t do that. I’m coming over; I’ll be there as soon as I can,’ Joel replied and he ended the call.
Kate slumped down onto the sofa, the letter in her hand, the words swimming in front of her eyes. He was getting back at her; he was using his own daughter to get back at her for involving the CSA, for making him pay what he should towards her care. She was only two; she was just a little girl.
When she opened the door to Joel, her face was awash with tears and her eyes were red and sore.
‘Sorry I called you, I’m fine now. I just couldn’t get hold of Hermione and—’ Kate began, feeling embarrassed.
‘It’s OK, are you all right? What happened?’
‘Matthew’s told the CSA there’s doubt over Bethan’s paternity. He wants a DNA test,’ Kate blurted out and then burst into tears all over again.
Just saying the words brought the raw emotion back. It didn’t seem real or fair; it was like someone was punishing her. Just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse, Matthew trumped his last action all over again.
Joel put his arms around her and drew her towards him, holding her tightly. Kate began to cry loudly and Joel hugged her to him consolingly. She felt so hurt and betrayed by the man she had loved and she couldn’t believe he was willing to put a little girl through an unnecessary ordeal because he didn’t want to acknowledge her or pay to support her.
‘She’s just a little girl; she’s his daughter,’ Kate spoke.
‘I know,’ Joel replied.
‘Why would he do this? It’s so horrible. He’s so cold. ’
‘He’s doing it because he doesn’t want to pay; it’s as simple as that. It’s a delaying tactic, that’s all, and that’s how you should look at it,’ Joel answered.
‘Do I have to do it? I don’t want her to have a blood test or whatever for no reason.’
‘I think it’s a mouth swab now.’
‘Do you watch Waking the Dead ?’ Kate queried.
‘No. Why?’
‘It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, I don’t want to do it. I shouldn’t have to – it’s wrong.’
‘I know,’ Joel agreed.
‘Sorry, I shouldn’t be burdening you with this, it just got to me and I didn’t know who to call.’
‘It’s OK.’
‘I don’t know, the minute I think I’m on top of things and I’m doing OK, something else happens. Would you like a drink? Sorry, I should have offered – come through. There’s wine – oh, well there was,’ Kate spoke, picking up the large bottle of wine and finding it was empty.
‘I’ll just have a coffee or something; I’ve got the car. What can I smell?’ Joel suddenly asked.
‘Probably Fisherman’s pie.’
‘It smells disgusting. Were you going to eat it?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Did you know that they make those meals out of the crappiest off-cuts they can find?’
‘No. Perhaps I suspected, but I never dwelt on it.’
‘Do you want me to make you something?’ Joel offered.
‘No! I’m fine, honestly.’
‘Do you have eggs?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Cheese?’
‘Possibly.’
‘Onion?’
‘It’s probably past its best. ’
‘Introduce me to your frying pan,’ Joel instructed.
‘You don’t have to cook for me; I’m really not the helpless damsel in distress. I just had a weak moment, that’s all. Everyone has weak moments; even you must have weak moments,’ Kate insisted, feeling foolish.
‘I’m not cooking for you; I’m cooking for me. I stayed late at work and haven’t eaten yet. And as for weak moments, yes, a car backfiring usually does it for me. Frying pan?’
Joel made omelettes with the contents of Kate’s fridge plus some tinned mushrooms and new potatoes he found at the back of the cupboard.
‘They taste better with fresher ingredients,’ he admitted as they ate.
‘It’s nice,’ Kate replied, eating hungrily.
‘And you saw how easy it was.’
‘Yes, yes, I’m a lazy working mother, whose idea of cooking is ripping the lid off a Pot Noodle, I know, I know.’
‘So, have you found a talent yet?’
‘Yes, I have,’ Kate answered with a smile.
‘Really? I’m impressed; that’s quick work. So what is it?’
‘I’m not telling you.’
‘Oh come on, I told you mine.’
‘No, my lips are sealed. Besides, if I say the words out loud, I will probably realise how crazy the idea is and change my mind about the whole thing.’
‘Am I allowed to guess?’
‘Absolutely not.’
‘Contortion?’
‘Joel!’
‘Escapology?’
‘No.’
‘Plate spinning? ’
‘I’m not saying.’
Joel laughed and finished his omelette.
‘I can’t wait to hear you play the guitar. What style do you play in? Are you more Jimi Hendrix or The Gipsy Kings?’
‘Somewhere in between, I hope.’
‘The Lady Dragon doesn’t think I have what it takes to be a solicitor. She cornered me today, tried to put the thumbscrews on. Told me how much hard work it would be and how I couldn’t possibly cope, especially as I have a child,’ Kate spoke suddenly, changing the conversation.
‘You mean she’s frightened you might have just what it takes,’ Joel replied.
‘Maybe.’
‘Do you want to be a solicitor?’
‘I don’t know what I want to be.’
‘What did you want to be before Matthew left?’
‘Just a wife and a mother with a decent job that paid reasonably well – that’s what I was, that was all I wanted to be. I didn’t need to think any more about it.’
‘Then apart from the marital status, nothing’s changed. You’re a mother with a decent job; you don’t need to be a wife to feel complete. Haven’t we had this conversation once before?’
‘I don’t need a man to make me feel complete but I miss the feeling of security. I wasn’t on my own, I had someone to share the responsibilities with, share the decision making with. It’s very lonely at 3a.m. when you’re tired and your daughter’s vomited every half an hour for the whole night and you’re the only person she can rely on.’
‘There are plenty of single mothers out there doing a fantastic job and you have Hermione.’
‘I don’t want to be a single mother. In fact, that was the last thing I ever wanted to be. I wanted to be married before I had children, I wanted to do things right, the old-fashioned way. I thought I was doing things right and now what I have isn’t what I wanted.’
‘Plans go awry; some things are just out of your control.’
‘You think I’m stupid,’ Kate said with a sigh.
‘No, of course I don’t. I just think you put too much pressure on yourself. From what I can see, apart from not looking after yourself very well, you do a terrific job looking after Bethan and working and trying to do everything you can to keep things on an even keel,’ Joel told her.
‘Like entering a relationship contest in a bid to win some money off my mortgage?’
‘That is dedication of the highest order,’ Joel agreed with a smile.
‘You think I should get the DNA test done.’
‘I think you should get it done and not give Matthew any reason to hold back paying for his daughter.’
‘You’re right, he’s done this because he knows it will upset me and I shouldn’t still let him do that.’
‘That’s the spirit. Now, tell me about this talent.’
‘No, but I will give you a clue. It involves a lot of ruffles and some feathers.’
‘You’re going to do an impersonation of the Love Dove?’ Joel guessed.
‘No!’ Kate answered with a laugh.