Chapter 25
25
‘Oh my God!’ Kate exclaimed out loud at her desk the following morning.
For the first time in a long time, she had caught the postman before she left for Hermione’s. She had taken the letters to work and as Miranda was out of the office for the morning, she took the chance to open them before she looked at her files. A large, brown envelope had a familiar look to it and she ripped that open first.
‘What’s the matter?’ Lynn asked, hurrying over to Kate’s desk, as she recognised the panic in her voice.
‘The Knowing Me Knowing You contest just got even more bizarre. You won’t believe what they want us to do now,’ Kate remarked, holding the letter out to Lynn.
Lynn took the letter and began to read it. Her eyes started to bulge after reading a few sentences.
‘I told you it was bizarre,’ Kate said, letting Lynn continue reading.
‘Create a wedding dress to wear for a wedding fashion catwalk, decorating a wedding cake in two minutes and writing your own personal vows to act out in the final “Showdown of Sincerity”. Oh my good God,’ Lynn commented.
‘How can I do any of that? It also says the men have to create an outfit for themselves as well. What does “ create” mean? Could that involve buying?’ Kate wanted to know.
‘I think they want you to make it.’
‘I know that but I could say I used to be a seamstress or something and just get a not too elaborate little number from BHS.’
‘Think they might notice.’
‘Great, so now I have to turn into a Blue Peter presenter and whip up a wedding frock and a morning suit in less than two weeks.’
‘Don’t you have your old dress you could alter and spruce up?’ Lynn suggested.
‘Oh, I couldn’t wear that,’ Kate said immediately.
‘Might save a bit of time.’
‘No,’ Kate said firmly.
‘Well, if I was you, I wouldn’t have Joel in a morning suit, I would have him in swimming trunks – very short swimming trunks. In fact, why not forget about clothes altogether,’ Lynn told her.
‘Lynn!’
‘Sorry but duh! Covering it up is a complete waste.’
‘Sorry to interrupt, ladies but Kate, could I have a word?’
Neither of them had noticed Colin Sykes entering the room.
‘Yes, of course,’ Kate agreed.
‘I’ll go and get started on that dictation,’ Lynn replied, backing away from the desk and putting the Knowing Me Knowing You letter down.
‘Thanks, Lynn.’
Colin waited until Lynn had disappeared before speaking.
‘I just wanted to see if you had made any decision about the Legal Practice Course,’ he began.
‘Well, no, not yet. I haven’t had a chance to really think about it properly – I mean, it sounds like it would be a good opportunity but I need to make sure it’s the right thing for me,’ Kate answered hurriedly, feeling uncomfortable.
‘Of course and I expect this competition has somewhat taken over your life, hasn’t it? It’s a bit of a roller coaster of an experience, isn’t it? Very enjoyable, though – I’m looking forward to the final,’ Colin remarked with a smile.
‘Well, I think the final is really going to be something special,’ Kate said.
‘I like your chap, Joel; he seems to have a good head on his shoulders,’ Colin said.
‘Yes, he does,’ Kate agreed.
‘And how are things with Miranda? I had thought that perhaps my offer to you might have ruffled a few of her feathers,’ Colin spoke.
‘I don’t think so – feathers look pretty intact,’ Kate replied quickly.
‘Very diplomatically put. Right, well I won’t hold you up. I see you have my client Dean on your desk so I’ll let you get started,’ Colin said, preparing to leave.
‘I will let you know as soon as I know – about the exam,’ Kate added before he departed.
‘I know you will,’ Colin replied with a smile.
Kate let out a sigh as he went and picked up the letter again. She couldn’t make a wedding dress but she knew a woman who could.
She picked up the phone and dialled. Her call went to voicemail.
‘Joel, it’s me. Could you meet me at Hermione’s tonight, about six? Prepare to be measured.’
She put the phone down and turned back to her computer.
‘Sorry to be back again but Frances on reception just gave these to me,’ Lynn spoke, handing Kate a large bunch of pink gerberas .
‘The hospital again please, Lynn. In fact, more aptly, take them to the hospice,’ Kate ordered, passing them back to her secretary.
‘Er, sorry, I took the liberty of reading the card – just to make sure because you freaked out before. They’re not from Matthew; they’re from Joel,’ Lynn told her.
‘In that case, could you get me a vase, please?’ Kate asked, smiling at the bouquet.
The morning had passed quickly and as she hadn’t had Miranda breathing down her neck and passing her more files than she could handle, it had been very productive.
She had just stopped what she was doing and sunk her teeth into a large ham and salad sandwich when her phone rang.
Kate cursed but picked it up.
‘Hello, Kate Baxter,’ she answered.
‘Oh Kate, it’s Ruby on reception. There’s a gentleman down here for you.’
‘Is it Joel?’
‘No, it’s a Mr Bruce Carmichael.’
‘Oh, does he look like a potential new client?’
‘I’m not sure but he asked for you by name.’
‘Oh OK, I’ll be down.’
Kate put down her sandwich and picked up her executive folder and a pen. She checked her appearance in the glass door and hurried down the stairs.
‘Mr Carmichael?’ Kate greeted the suited individual who was sat in reception, his head bowed.
The person raised their head to greet her with a smile. It was Matthew.
‘Kate, don’t be angry. I knew if I said it was me, you wouldn’t see me, so I lied,’ Matthew spoke, getting to his feet .
‘I don’t want to see you. No matter what you’re calling yourself,’ Kate said, turning around and heading back towards the stairs.
‘Please Kate, I mean it when I say I’m sorry. I would do anything to have another chance. I know I’ve messed up with you and with Bethan. I was a fool, I felt claustrophobic and I know that was stupid but?—’
‘You said all this on Sunday; I don’t need to hear it again, especially not here,’ Kate exclaimed, looking at Ruby and fearing her business was going to be all over Randall’s by tea time.
‘I think you do. I don’t think you believe I mean it.’
‘I don’t care if you mean it; it’s too late,’ Kate responded.
‘You’ve moved on with this Joel?’
‘No, I’ve moved on with Bethan. Joel and I are… Joel and I are…’
Ruby on reception was visibly pricking her ears up, waiting for the juicy bit of gossip to fall from Kate’s lips.
‘Are what?’
‘It’s none of your business.’
The door to reception swung open and Miranda entered dressed in a fur-trimmed jacket, a boutique bag in each hand.
‘Oh hello, it’s Matthew isn’t it? Yes, I remember you from the last office Christmas party – you were a wonderful dancer,’ Miranda remarked.
‘Hello,’ Matthew greeted immediately, smiling at the sight of an attractive blonde.
‘We haven’t seen you around here for a while. What brings you back? Business?’ Miranda asked.
‘Pleasure actually,’ Matthew answered, looking at Kate.
‘Excuse me,’ Kate spoke and she left the two of them in reception and hurried up the stairs.
‘Hello, hello, come in, come in. Joel, get your clothes off; I’m ready for your inside leg,’ Hermione exclaimed as she opened the door to Kate and Joel that evening.
‘What’s going on? What’s all this about measuring and stuff?’ Joel asked as he stepped inside.
‘You haven’t told him? Oh dear, I’ll let you explain while I get the tape, the material and the pins,’ Hermione spoke.
‘Hello-Joel,’ Cyrus greeted, tapping his foot in time.
‘Hello-Cyrus, how-are-you?’ Joel asked, tapping back.
‘Fine-thank-you,’ Cyrus replied.
‘Come on,’ Kate said, ushering Joel forwards.
‘Hang on, you don’t get away that easily. What’s going on? What’s all this about measurements?’ Joel asked.
‘You don’t really want to know, do you?’
‘Yes.’
‘It’s mad.’
‘I still need to know.’
‘Hermione has wedding dress material.’
‘What?’
‘I told you you wouldn’t want to know,’ Kate replied, rushing into the kitchen and scooping up Bethan, who was playing with the plastic tea set.
‘Wedding dress material?’ Joel said to Hermione.
‘Yes, I have a choice of two. Traditional white or contemporary navy.’
‘Oh I don’t know about navy; it reminds me of my school uniform and that never suited me,’ Kate spoke, bouncing Bethan up and down.
‘Traditional white it is then.’
‘What did you get for Joel? ’
‘Again, a choice. We have charcoal grey or we have a midnight blue,’ Hermione informed, holding up the materials.
‘Ooh, I like the midnight blue, hold it up against him,’ Kate ordered, becoming excited.
‘What is going on here? I mean, I don’t think I proposed but you know, sometimes after a few drinks, I might say something a bit crazy but?—’
‘Yes, we’re getting married! On TV,’ Kate explained.
Joel just looked at Kate, none the wiser.
‘Don’t panic, it’s for Knowing Me Knowing You . We have to perform some dumb catwalk fashion thing, then decorate a cake, make up some vows and then pretend we’re actually getting married and gaze into each other’s eyes and say them like we mean them. But we aren’t allowed to buy outfits; we have to make them – so Hermione’s doing just that,’ Kate told him.
‘Come to me, big boy and let me put my tape around you,’ Hermione beckoned, shaking out her measure.
‘God, what a lot of trouble to go to,’ Joel remarked, stretching out his arms for Hermione to measure.
‘The last hurdle though and then it will all be over and we won’t have to go through any of it again,’ Kate spoke with a sigh.
‘Hmm, like you haven’t enjoyed any of it. All that free food and drink and a night in a romance lodge,’ Hermione commented.
Kate’s face reddened and she couldn’t look at Joel. She was still having dreams about what had happened in the romance lodge – erotic, sexy dreams she never wanted to wake up from.
‘Joel, Joel,’ Bethan exclaimed, waving her hand at him .
‘Free food and drink – good. Sitting in a plastic booth with a blindfold on, not knowing where the Love Dove is going to strike next – not so good,’ Joel answered hurriedly.
‘And open your legs a tad, sweetie,’ Hermione said, a big grin on her face.
‘Could you make a waistcoat with this too? I’m thinking white shirt, blue suit with waistcoat and a blue tie.’
‘Oh yes, I think that would look wonderful on you, Joel – striking yet understated,’ Hermione agreed.
‘And what style is the bride going for?’ Joel asked.
‘Obviously something high fashion that covers all my lumpy bits,’ Kate responded.
‘Lumpy bits! You want to compare lumpy bits? I’ll show you lumpy bits! I’ve had three kids and a hysterectomy,’ Hermione spoke, about to lift up her top.
‘No! No, that’s fine, I believe you,’ Kate replied with a laugh.
‘Do you want to come in?’ Kate asked as she and Joel stood outside her house.
‘Do you want me to come in?’
‘Yes, I have two cheese and bacon pasta meals ready to be microwaved and a bottle of German wine in my handbag,’ Kate informed him, putting Bethan down and letting her toddle up the hallway.
‘How can I refuse an offer like that?’ Joel asked her.
‘I also have a takeaway menu if you would prefer that,’ Kate replied.
‘I think I might,’ Joel answered.
‘OK, well you have a look at it and I’ll get Bethan ready for bed,’ Kate spoke .
‘Well, I could have a go at that, if you didn’t mind.’
‘Oh, well I?—’
‘It can’t be so hard that I won’t be able to do it,’ Joel remarked.
‘No, of course not, that’s fine. Her pyjamas are in the top drawer in her bedroom and nappies are on the side. Mr Crisps is up there and I’ll come up and read her a story in a minute. Bethan, shall Joel take you up to bed?’ Kate asked her daughter.
‘Yes please, Joel, Joel,’ Bethan exclaimed, excitedly jumping up and down as best as she could.
‘Well, it sounds like I’m redundant. I’ll have a look at the takeaway menu then,’ Kate said, getting the wine out of her bag and taking it into the kitchen.
‘Come on then Bethan, let’s get you ready for bed,’ Joel spoke, picking the little girl up.
Kate smiled and watched Joel take Bethan up the stairs, tickling her tummy and making her laugh.
She opened the wine and poured two large glasses. It had been strange being measured for a wedding dress. She remembered it vividly the first time round. She had trawled every wedding dress shop in a fifty-mile radius looking for something perfect. She had tried off the shoulder, round neck, square neck, halterneck, sleeveless, short sleeves, long sleeves and backless. Nothing had felt right. Perhaps she should have taken that as an indication that the marriage wasn’t right. In the end, she had left it so late, she had to settle for the only thing the Highbridge Wedding Apparel shop had in her size. It had been nice, though: slim-fitting ivory with a long train trimmed with fur. But she hadn’t felt a thrill of excitement when she’d put it on and she certainly hadn’t had the tingle running down her back the way she had tonight when Hermione draped the wedding dress material around her. And it wasn’t even going to be a real wedding dress; it was just a costume .
She finished the glass of wine and was just about to pour another when Joel came back downstairs.
‘Oh, is she OK? Does she want me? I’ll go and read her a story,’ Kate said, getting up from the sofa.
‘No need, she’s asleep. She was asleep before I got to the end of The Princess and the Pea ,’ Joel told her.
‘Bless her, she does love that story. OK, I think I’ll have a chicken tawa with garlic rice and a plain naan. Oh and poppadoms – an Indian isn’t an Indian without poppadoms. What would you like?’ Kate asked, passing Joel the menu.
‘I’ll have a lamb bhuna and pilau rice.’
‘Right, I’ll order and it’s my treat. Oh and I have a cheque for you, for your share of the five thousand we won,’ Kate said, picking up the phone and preparing to dial the number for the takeaway.
‘I don’t want any of the five thousand,’ Joel stated once Kate was off the phone.
‘What?’
‘I don’t want any of it. We didn’t know about it at the beginning so I don’t want any of it,’ Joel spoke.
‘Don’t be silly, we had an agreement.’
‘About the hundred thousand, not this. Buy something with it, trade your car in for a four door. Think how much easier that would be to get Bethan in and out of,’ Joel suggested.
‘But, that wouldn’t be fair and?—’
‘OK, I’ll have my share and I’ll buy the car for you,’ Joel told her.
‘You’re so stubborn. Which one of your parents do you get that from?’ Kate asked.
The second the words had passed her lips, she wanted to draw them back in again.
‘Oh God, I’m sorry, I didn’t think before I opened my stupid mouth. Forget I said that,’ Kate spoke hurriedly.
‘It’s OK, don’t worry,’ Joel said .
‘Do you ever wonder about your birth parents? Have you ever thought about tracking them down?’
‘I tried to once; I found out their names and the area they lived. Social services contacted them, told them I wanted to make contact and that was that,’ Joel explained.
‘What d’you mean?’
‘They didn’t want to see me,’ Joel answered.
‘Oh Joel, I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be, it’s fine. I didn’t really need them; I was just curious. I suppose I just wanted to meet them to see if I looked like either of them, or to find out if I had any brothers or sisters.’
‘I don’t understand why they weren’t curious about you? How can someone have a child, give them away and then never wonder how they turned out?’
‘There are all sorts of different reasons why people give up their children. My parents were young: my mother was only sixteen when she had me; my father was eighteen. They had no money, their parents had nothing either. I think it was the right thing for them to do. My adoptive parents gave me everything and believe me, no one could have loved me more.’
‘They would have been so proud of you, Joel.’
‘Maybe.’
‘So if you did all these qualifications, your degree and everything, why did you join the Army? Was it something you always wanted to do?’
‘Well, I left university with all the qualifications and I didn’t really know what to do with them. My parents have friends in high places, I had job offers coming from every which way but I just needed to be my own person and to find out who that person was. I needed to see where I fitted into the world. The Army offered travel and excitement, opportunities to learn skills you can’t learn outside of it. It was always just going to be a stepping stone to something else. ’
‘And is that what you got? Was it good before, well you know, before Afghanistan?’
‘Yes, it was. I made so many friends, good friends, friends who would put themselves on the line for you. We had great times and we laughed so much. But the job changed, it got more intense, it got more dangerous. The laughter dried up and we all had to turn into people we didn’t want to be,’ Joel tried to explain.
‘Sorry.’
‘No, it’s OK. Before all my friends were lost that day, I was going to leave anyway. It wasn’t what I signed up for, the risks were increasing all the time, and I started to think about my parents and what it would do to them if I was killed. All that time, raising me, all that effort, bringing up someone else’s child… I couldn’t do that to them,’ Joel explained.
‘Well I’m glad you came back. I can’t see us having met in the darkest regions of Afghanistan. I’d be like a fish out of water if there wasn’t an Asda within five miles,’ Kate answered.
‘But you would have liked the packet meals,’ Joel told her with a grin.
The telephone rang.
‘Hello, oh hello – he’s what? Well, he can’t mean it – he’s doing what? Oh I don’t know, I don’t know if that’s a good thing – yes, I know but it’s difficult – are you sure he’s serious? All right, calm down, don’t cry – well, where is he? All right, I’ll come, yes, OK, OK, bye.’
Kate put the phone down and looked at Joel.
‘What’s wrong?’ Joel asked.
‘That was Helen, Matthew’s sister. Apparently, he’s threatening to commit suicide,’ Kate informed.
‘What?’
‘I don’t believe it for a minute but he keeps asking for me. Helen’s round there but he won’t open the front door. I tried to tell her that things were difficult but he’s her brother and she’s worried about him and—’ Kate began.
‘Sure, you have to go,’ Joel answered.
‘I don’t want to go but?—’
‘Kate its fine, he’s Bethan’s dad – you need to check it out,’ Joel responded.
‘Do you mind?’
‘Go, I’ll stay and mind Bethan. I can’t guarantee there’ll be any takeaway left when you get back, though,’ Joel replied.
‘Keep a bit for me; I’m good at reheating things,’ Kate replied, finding her coat and putting it on.
‘Call me, though; let me know what’s going on,’ Joel responded.
‘I will,’ she promised.
‘Hello,’ Hermione greeted as she picked up the phone.
‘Hello. I’m at the hospital,’ Kate spoke, breathing in the outside air as she left the entrance of the accident and emergency unit.
‘Oh sweetie, what’s the matter? What’s happened? It’s not Bethan, is it?’
‘No, no Bethan’s fine, it’s Matthew. He was threatening to commit suicide and he was really drunk and passing out so we called an ambulance,’ Kate answered.
‘Is he OK?’
‘I think so. Helen’s with him,’ Kate informed.
‘And what are you doing there?’
‘Well, Helen called me and asked me to come. He wouldn’t let her in and he said he’d taken a load of tablets and he kept asking for me,’ Kate answered.
‘I see,’ Hermione responded stiffly.
‘What does that mean? You said it in a funny voice; I sense disapproval. ’
‘Very perceptive. I’m just worried you’re sending out mixed messages here, Kate. You’re telling him it’s over one minute and then racing to his bedside the next,’ Hermione told her.
‘It wasn’t like that; his sister called me.’
‘And you dropped everything and went to him. What were you doing? Were you with Joel?’ Hermione asked.
‘Well, yes, but it was only takeaway.’
‘You were having dinner with Joel and you left to be with your ex-husband, the man who no more than a week or so ago wanted a DNA test on your daughter.’
‘Why are you being horrible to me? I phoned you for support. I’m tired and it’s cold and the bloke in the bed next to him has spent the last half an hour on the bedpan.’
‘I’m not being horrible; I’m just pointing a few things out. What sort of message do you think that will have sent out to Joel?’
‘Joel and I are complicated.’
‘I don’t know why. I think that’s a convenient excuse you use so you have all of the dating and none of the commitment. Because you’re scared to move on, away from Matthew.’
‘That isn’t true.’
‘Isn’t it? You don’t seem to know what you want. One minute, it’s over with Matthew, the next, you’re nursing him back to health. And what am I doing at this moment in time? Making you a wedding dress so you can compete in a relationship game show with someone you’re treating very badly.’
‘Mione, I?—’
‘I think you need to sit down and really think about what you’re doing,’ Hermione spoke severely.
‘It’s compli?—’
‘I’ll see you in the morning,’ Hermione interrupted and she ended the call .
Kate took the phone away from her ear and just looked at it. Hermione’s harsh words had hurt her. She had never spoken to her like that before. She had been the voice of reason on many an occasion but she had never sounded quite so angry. Matthew had looked weak and vulnerable, pale and inconsolable; he looked like he was quite capable of suicide. And Helen had been distraught, concerned for her brother. She hadn’t had an option, had she?
It was almost 11.00p.m. when Kate got back home. She entered the living room to see Joel asleep on the sofa. She looked at him, so handsome, so genuine, so honest, such fun. He said he was falling in love with her.
She was still looking at him when his eyes flicked open and he immediately sat up as if sensing her scrutiny.
‘Hey,’ he greeted, rubbing his eyes.
‘You were asleep,’ Kate remarked.
‘Yeah, I do manage an hour or two here and there. Bethan’s fine. She woke just after you left but I tucked her in and found her dummy and she went straight back to sleep,’ Joel replied.
‘Good, thanks for doing that,’ Kate answered.
‘How’s Matthew?’
‘He’s OK, he hadn’t taken anything. He’s in the hospital though because he drank almost a whole bottle of scotch. Stomach’s been pumped as a precaution,’ Kate responded.
‘Well, at least he’s OK. I saved you some takeaway; it’s in the microwave, ready to go,’ Joel spoke, standing up and putting on his jacket.
‘You’re going?’
‘Yeah, I’ve got an early start in the morning – sixteen-stone Geoffrey again.’
‘But you don’t sleep. ’
‘I need to try though, otherwise my body would completely get out of the whole sleeping routine and I may never sleep again,’ Joel replied.
‘Oh OK. Well, thanks for looking after Bethan and I’m sorry about dinner,’ Kate apologised.
‘That’s OK. Look, I’m quite busy for the rest of this week; shall we meet up next week for a practice before the final? Hermione said she was going to bake a three-tier cake for us to decorate, didn’t she?’ Joel asked.
‘Yes, but we’ll need more fittings for the outfits and—’ Kate began.
‘I’ll give you a call,’ Joel spoke as he headed down the hallway towards the door.
‘Joel, wait,’ Kate called.
He turned back around and looked at her, waiting for her to speak.
Kate swallowed a lump in her throat but couldn’t bring herself to say anything.
‘Bye,’ Joel said finally and he left, closing the door quietly behind him.