Chapter 49
IRA
I was growing larger and larger as the days passed by.
Six months had already gone by, and now my bump had grown quite big, so big that sometimes I struggled even to roll over in bed.
I didn’t know the gender of my baby yet, but deep inside, it felt like a baby boy.
A strange, motherly instinct told me so.
God, I thought, soon I will see little Prashant running around this very house, giggling and filling every corner with joy.
The thought made me smile faintly, though there was an ache beneath that smile.
"I swear I will never forgive that bastard Prashant Pandey for leaving you like this!" Kavya’s voice boomed from the kitchen, sharp as she slammed a pan onto the counter. "Tell me, Ira, are all army officers like this? Cold, arrogant, distant? They charm you once and then turn into strangers?"
I stroked my belly softly, feeling the stillness of my baby within, and shook my head. "No, not all," I murmured.
In truth, I never thought the woman I once found too noisy and talkative would become my closest friend.
Yet here she was, Kavya Singh, she was fiery, outspoken, and without doubt, the kindest and funniest woman I had ever known.
She was my anchor in these months when I had thought the ground beneath me had slipped away.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed this much before she came into my life, but with her, I found myself laughing every day, even with my swollen feet, aching back, and restless nights.
Kavya had practically moved in with me since that day, helping me with everything. It wasn’t as though I wanted anyone to do my chores, but she insisted on being there for me. And perhaps, in some strange way, I needed her too.
I knew from before that she was a Kathak dancer, but what surprised me was learning she was also one of the best interior designers I had ever met.
With her talent, she transformed my dull army quarters into a home that felt alive.
The pale white walls now had warmth and personality; she chose curtains, cushions, and furniture so perfectly that the house looked like it belonged to someone who hadn’t lost all her joy.
When my mother arrived and stepped inside, she was speechless.
"I can’t believe this is the same quarter I visited months ago!
" she gasped, her eyes sweeping over the elegant touches.
"This doesn’t look like a barrack house at all.
..it feels like home." She had been so impressed by Kavya’s talent that she helped her find a few wealthy customers in town, people who could afford her eye for beauty.
One morning, as I sat at the dining table rubbing my belly lazily, my mother cracked eggs into a pan. The sizzle filled the silence. She turned and smiled. "And how’s that little one doing in there today?" she asked warmly.
I patted my bump with fondness. "I think he’s sleeping," I said softly, smiling. "It kicks all the time, but today it feels quiet."
I was on maternity leave, and for the first time in years, life was slower.
I was surrounded by my mother’s presence and Kavya’s companionship.
Sometimes I considered going back to Udaipur, but the thought of facing those haunted memories stopped me.
Kabir was gone, buried with his sins, and Amish, last I heard, was paying for his karma, suffering from a spinal injury after a terrible accident.
I thought I would feel satisfaction at their downfall, but when it happened, I felt nothing.
No joy, no closure, only an emptiness that refused to leave.
And then there was Prashant.
It had been months since I last heard from him.
He had gone on a mission, and I didn’t know whether he was safe or even alive.
Sometimes I asked around, and once or twice, I overheard colleagues whisper that Aryan had been transferred again into the same unit, on the same mission.
But Prashant? He was a ghost, absent and silent.
One afternoon, I turned to Kavya while she placed a steaming plate in front of me. "How’s Avni doing?" I asked, curious about her old friend.
"She’s fine, but she’s struggling," Kavya sighed, brushing her hair back from her face. "Two kids on her hands, and Aryan’s been transferred to Jammu again. She barely gets a moment to breathe."
I glanced at the breakfast she set down and frowned gently. "See, you don’t have to do all this for me. I can hire a chef, Kavya. I mean, I don’t like you..."
Before I could finish, she cut me off with a laugh, squeezing my hand. "I like doing this, Ira. You helped me once, and now it’s my turn to help you. Let me return the favour."
I flushed, embarrassed by her devotion. "You can stay here as long as you want, Kavya. But don’t treat yourself like my caretaker… really, it makes me feel awkward. I don’t want you to think you owe me something."
She tilted her head, her eyes glimmering with mischief.
"You’re too proud to ask for help, aren’t you, Lieutenant Ira?
" she teased gently, then her tone softened. "But listen… I genuinely want to look after you. You’re pregnant, your mother barely has time to sit with you, and you’ve been through too much alone.
Let me be your caretaker for a few months. Please?"
Her words broke something inside me, something I didn’t realize I had been holding on to. I blinked rapidly, feeling tears prick my eyes, but I quickly smiled and looked away.
Maybe, for a while, I could allow someone else to carry me.
_______
I was eight months pregnant now, and honestly, I felt like a whale stranded on land.
My bump was bigger than expected, stretching my body in ways I hadn’t imagined.
Sleep was a battle, lying on one side hurt my back, lying on the other made me breathless.
Eating felt like a chore because my stomach was squeezed tight, yet I was always hungry.
Even the smallest tasks, walking to the kitchen, bending to pick up a fallen spoon left me exhausted.
The doctor had assured me earlier that everything seemed fine, but once I entered my eighth month, complications crept in like uninvited shadows.
My feet were swollen like balloons, my hands stiff and puffy.
Some days I looked in the mirror and barely recognized myself.
I didn’t feel glowing, beautiful, or maternal like books described I just felt heavy, unattractive, and fragile.
My body was stretched, but worse, my mind was cracking too.
I found myself longing for comfort I couldn’t seem to find.
At night, when the house was quiet, my heart ached for Prashant.
I missed him with a desperation that frightened me.
Kavya helped whenever she could as she cooked, she checked in, she kept me distracted with her endless chatter but she was busy with work most of the time.
And when she was gone, the silence swallowed me whole.
Then I heard the news. Prashant had returned.
He had completed his threatening mission and had even been hailed as a national hero.
His photo was in the papers, his bravery praised in the headlines.
He looked proud, strong, victorious. They said he wasn’t traumatized this time, that he had learned to carry the weight of war differently.
And yet he hadn’t come to see me.
The thought dug into my chest like a knife. I should have been happy for him, relieved that he was safe but all I could think was, If only he would come here, if only he would look at me once. I wanted to tell him everything that I was pregnant, that I was carrying his child. Our child.
I wanted him to touch my face, smile that smile that once made me weak, and hold me the way he used to before everything broke. Even if he had cheated, even if he had abandoned me, I still wanted him. I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t deny it. My heart betrayed me every time.
I sighed heavily, trying to push those thoughts away. Negative feelings weren’t good for the baby. "No, Ira," I whispered to myself, rubbing my belly. "Me and baby are enough. We’ll be fine."
That evening, I curled up on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and switched on a movie. The flickering light danced across the walls, but I wasn’t really watching. My hand rested lazily on my stomach as I chewed slowly.
Then it happened.
A sudden, sharp stab shot through my abdomen. My breath caught, my heart skipping a beat. I stiffened, clutching my side as the pain surged again, stronger this time.
"Haaah…" I gasped, shifting uncomfortably, trying to adjust my position. "It’s okay, it’s just… a cramp." I muttered to myself, forcing a shaky smile. "Me and baby are going to be okay. Just okay."
I carefully set the popcorn bowl onto the table and leaned back against the cushions, trying to calm myself. But before I could catch a proper breath, another piercing pain ripped through me, sharper than before.
My smile faltered, tears stinging my eyes. "Oh God…" I whimpered, clutching my belly. "Not now… not yet."
And then I felt it. The unmistakable warmth of fluid running down my legs, soaking through the fabric.
My eyes widened in horror. "No… no, no…" I whispered, panic rising in my throat.
"Mom!" I screamed, my voice cracking in fear as another wave of pain seized me. "Mom! The baby...baby’s coming!"
Within seconds, I heard hurried footsteps rushing from the other room. My mother appeared in the doorway, her face turning pale as her eyes fell on me and the spreading water beneath my feet.
"Dear God," she gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. Then she rushed to my side, grabbing my arm as I groaned in agony. "Hold on, Ira! Hold on, we need to get you to the hospital right now!"
"Mom!" I shouted, my voice breaking in panic as the warm fluid pooled beneath me. My heart started thudding in my chest as reality struck, I was going into labour. My mother hurried towards me, eyes wide in alarm.
"Ira, don't panic!" she tried to keep her voice steady though her hands were trembling. "We need to get you to the hospital immediately."
The pain surged again, sharp and merciless. I clutched my bump, gasping. "Oh God...it hurts!" Tears blurred my vision, and my chest tightened with fear.
Kavya burst in from the kitchen, her face pale when she saw the scene. "Oh my God, Ira! Your water..." she didn’t finish, rushing forward to hold me from the other side. "We have to move fast."
Avni, who had come over that morning with her little ones, stood frozen for a moment before she snapped out of it and quickly called the driver. "Car is ready," she said, voice shaking.
The ride to the hospital was a blur of pain and prayers. I squeezed Kavya’s hand so tight I thought I would break it, but she didn’t complain, only kept whispering, "You’ll be okay, Ira. Breathe. We’re here."
When we reached, nurses rushed me inside. The bright white lights of the labour room stabbed at my eyes as the doctors surrounded me, preparing urgently. My contractions grew closer, sharper, like knives slicing through me. I bit my lip until I tasted blood.
"Kavya…" I whispered between breaths, my voice weak but desperate. "Please… call Prashant. Please… he has to know… I’m having his baby."
Kavya’s eyes softened, tears glistening. She nodded quickly. "I’ll try, Ira. I promise."
Avni gripped my other hand, stroking my hair back as I whimpered. "Focus on the baby, Ira. We’ll reach him."
The doctors started shouting instructions. "BP is dropping!" one of them called out. My body shivered violently, sweat soaking my forehead. I couldn’t catch my breath properly, and panic clawed at me.
"She’s in distress. Get ready for complications," another doctor said sternly.
The pain was relentless. I screamed as another contraction ripped through me, my nails digging into the sheets. I cried out for my mother, for Kavya, but deep down, my heart ached only for Prashant. Why wasn’t he here? Didn’t he deserve to see his child being born?
Minutes blurred into hours. My body felt weaker and weaker. I was dimly aware of the doctors urging me to push, of Kavya’s cries from outside the room, of Avni pacing the corridor restlessly with her phone, trying again and again to reach Prashant.
"One more push, Ira, you can do it!" the doctor’s voice echoed faintly in my ears. I gave everything I had left, a scream tearing out of my chest as I pushed with all my might.
Then, crying. A shrill, beautiful wail filled the room. My baby. My child.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as relief washed over me. "My baby…" I whispered, barely audible. But before I could reach out, a violent wave of dizziness hit me. My vision blurred, my body went limp.
"Her pulse is dropping...she’s seizing!" a doctor shouted.
I felt something sharp explode in my head, like fire spreading through my brain. My body convulsed once, twice, then I slipped into a terrifying darkness. ______