Chapter 16
Rosabel La Rouge
Present day
The sound of water dripping somewhere nearby echoed in my head. I tried to cling to it, tried to use it to pull myself out of this deep dark that seemed to be wrapped around me like magic, keeping me at the bottom. Fuck, I couldn’t reach the surface. It felt like my lungs might explode any second now, even though I was breathing.
Drip, drip, drip.
I wished my memories were as dark as whatever place I was in, too. I wished I couldn’t remember the faces of the Tivoux brothers, how they used their magic to cause me crippling pain. How they hadn’t held back, had infused my blood with so much Blackfire I’d wanted to peel off my own skin just to let some of the tension out.
Because I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t free myself. I couldn’t shield myself—-I could do nothing but sit there and take it and scream .
Iris, I screamed so much the memory of the echo of my own voice was still spinning in my mind.
But at the moment, nobody was torturing me with their magic. Nobody was laughing that I could tell. No footsteps, no voices. Just that drip coming from far away, and from right next to my ear at the same time.
Wake up!
My own mind shouted at me, and the voice came out of nowhere. It surprised me, shocked me enough that my eyelids fluttered.
They fluttered open for just a split second, but it was long enough to see. Long enough to recognize those wide, beautiful eyes right in front of me.
My heart took a pause. The deep dark let go of me all at once. Every hair on my body stood at attention at the same time.
Finally, I was fully awake—and Taland was sitting right in front of me.
He had a chair like the one I was chained to backward, and he straddled it. His arms rested on the edges of the backrest, and he was close enough that he could touch my face with his fingertips if he moved his hands just slightly to the sides. His eyes barely blinked as he looked at me, no smile in sight. No expression whatsoever.
My heart squeezed and squeezed. My soul was in pieces.
His brothers had tortured me, and he’d stood by and watched—which was nothing less than what I deserved.
So then why did I feel so broken ?
“You screamed a lot.”
His voice vibrated throughout me. I felt it in my very bones. Somehow, it both soothed me and scared me shitless at the same time .
“You still screamed louder in my dorm room back in the day, though.” The grin that spread on his beautiful face had me wanting to run for the hills.
“Taland,” I choked because this was not the time to play games.
Or at least that’s what came to my mind before I remembered.
Suddenly, his smile disappeared, and he looked murderous within the second. “ Don’t speak my name,” he said in a sharp whisper that had me sucking in my breath. “Did you really think you were going to get away with it, sweetness? Did you think I was going to die in prison, and you would reap the benefits of having made a fool out of me for the rest of your life?”
Every word he said was a stab right through my heart. “No, I—” I started, shaking my head as tears gathered in my eyes, but he didn’t let me finish.
“I bet you thought the Tomb was going to get the best of me. I bet you thought you were free,” he continued, and just when I thought there was no way I could break further, he went and proved me wrong. “I bet you slept soundly every night since you put me away.”
Tears. I was such a mess within seconds, and I no longer saw, no longer wanted to. Can’t you just kill me without torturing me more first? Were your brothers not enough?
Instead, I lowered my head, but he wouldn’t have it. With the tips of his index finger, he slowly raised my head until he could see my face again.
“Did you cry tears of joy when they took me away?” His thumbs came up and wiped my tears while more came, and I shook and shook and a whimper or two slipped out of me, too. “You’ve always looked beautiful when you cried. Tears become you.” I barely saw him bring his thumb to his mouth and lick my tears off it, then grin wickedly.
I didn’t want to, I wanted to tell him.
There was so much I was hiding, so many secrets…I couldn’t tell you the truth.
You wouldn’t have listened. I was afraid you wouldn’t have believed me.
Please, believe me now!
Of course, I kept my mouth shut. What would be the point even if I wanted to tell him the whole truth now? If he even let me speak—which he wouldn’t—he’d never believe me for real. I was a liar, but I was the worst kind of liar there is because I was also a coward.
And now he knew it.
“Tasty,” Taland said, letting go of my face. “They’re going to be back here any minute now. I’m afraid they’re not done with you yet.”
A cry escaped my lips. Please, I wanted to say—yearned to say it, but it wasn’t because of what was coming for me—his brothers, apparently. They still had a score to settle with me.
No, the pleading was for that look in his eyes—of disgust and hatred. Please don’t hate me.
I was something awful and twisted, indeed.
“You’re Mud.”
How in the world I was still conscious was a good question. I blinked the tears away and tried to focus on his smiling face.
“How’s that for karma?” And Taland laughed.
He laughed his heart out, and it was dark and deep and terrifying. This was not the Taland I knew.
“No,” I whispered to myself for no reason other than to try to deny this reality. To deny this night, this morning, this day. All of it— deny!
Except that’s not how reality works, is it?
“Oh, yes,” Taland said, his smile spreading, his teeth showing, transforming his face completely, bringing it so close to the boy he was when we first met.
Then…
“You betrayed me, sweetness.”
His whisper was low this time, barely there. His smile remained but his eyes…oh, his eyes spoke volumes. His eyes told me a whole other story—the true story. His eyes told me about his pain, and it fucking matched my own.
I didn’t —but I did.
I was trying to save you —but I didn’t.
Life’s funny like that, I guess.
And his pain was gone just as fast as it reflected in those dark eyes that wanted you to think they were black but weren’t. They were an ashy brown around the iris that somehow melted into a rich, deep whiskey on the outer edges, and it worked. Fuck the colors of the rainbow— these were perfection. The rest of him might have become a different Taland completely but those colors were still the same. Exactly the same as the last time I was this close to him.
Back when I could reach out my hand and touch him.
When I could lay in his arms and call for him at any second and count on him for every little thing.
Back when life was beautiful—those short months. And it sucked to be reminded that none of it had been real, not for either one of us. Our secrets had been too dark, too deep.
Look at us now .
“Did she order them to shoot you?” Taland then asked, looking down at my leg.
I said nothing.
“Well, did she?”
“I don’t know.” I had no clue who ordered Michael. I’d first thought it was Taland, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Madeline. Although what would be her reason when back then I wasn’t… that word, ugh.
“But you must know why your own people would shoot you,” said Taland, and I raised my head again, looked into his eyes.
“How do you know who shot me?” My voice came out just as small as I felt—and again, he acted as if it assaulted his senses.
“Your own team—that’s gotta be an order from very high up. The IDD was never beyond killing their own, but you ?” He continued. “You are Madeline Rogan’s granddaughter.” My heart stood still again. “Imagine my surprise when I found out. My girl, my beautiful, kind, sweet girl who wouldn’t hurt a fly…” Again, his fingertips touched my jaw as he analyzed my face with a madness in his eyes that sparkled like precious jewels. “My girl was not my girl at all. She had no trouble hurting things—or me .”
Laughter.
Iris, how I broke. He stomped all over the ruined pieces of me, turning them to ashes. I cried and cried because this laughter was different. This laughter showed me exactly how much he was hurting—just as much as me. He chose to laugh and I chose to cry, but the feeling was the same.
Look what you’ve done, my own mind said to me. Look what you’ve done to us.
I looked, indeed.
“How did you manage to escape the Headquarters, though?” said Taland next, shaking his head, pushing his hair away from his face. It suited him, longer. Just like I always knew it would, it suited him. Raven black and shiny and soft, it looked good in a long mess like this—and that made me cry harder.
Here I thought I had a hold of myself, that I could control my emotions better than anyone in the world. At least from showing on my face.
But that had always been the thing with Taland—I could never fake it with him. I could never hurt and hide it, be happy and act casual, be sad and smile. I could never not cry when it was just us.
“You must have had help. Your leg was a mess—they refused to heal you. After all, we still don’t know the effects of magic in the body of a Mud, so maybe they were trying to protect you? In which case, I’m terribly sorry that I intervened by healing you, but my brothers needed to have their time. And a bullet isn’t going to take your life—that’s my prerogative.” He leaned closer and closer until his chair tilted over and our noses almost touched.
I stopped crying for a second, didn’t blink or breathe or do anything but look into his eyes, lose myself in them, breathe in his scent of leather and wood that brought back so many beautiful memories…
Taland reached out his hand and pushed hair that had been sticking to my wet cheek away from my face. He analyzed all my features as if with longing—but that was probably just wishful thinking. My own delusion speaking.
Because Taland didn’t miss me, not the way I missed him. Not so much that it hurt physically, that I’d forgotten his face. He didn’t miss me like my eyes said his showed. He hated me far too much for that.
“You betrayed me. ”
Three words falling over me like mountains.
His voice was barely there. If it wasn’t so silent, I might have missed it, but I didn’t. I heard it, though he barely moved those long lips.
“I…”
I had nothing to say that would make any of this better. Not even for a little bit.
So, I said nothing, like always. It was better for the both of us.
“Do you have any idea how—” Taland stopped speaking abruptly, let go of my hair and stood up, backing away from me two steps before I realized why—the door atop those metal stairs opened.
All three of his brothers came through, and Seth was holding a box in his hands, and they were all smiling and whistling a happy tune.
“Is she up yet? Oooh , good, good! We’re ready for round two,” Kaid called before he’d even descended the stairs completely.
“Yes, she’s up. You might want to give her some water first, though. She’ll pass out quickly if you don’t,” Taland said.
Taland Tivoux— my Taland. He looked at me as he dragged his chair away, smiling. He looked at me and even winked.
“I’ll be enjoying the show from over here.” And when he was far enough away that I could hardly see his face with clarity, he sat down on his chair, crossed his legs and made himself comfortable, then winked at me again.
“Oh, this round is gonna be better than the last if you don’t give us a name, Miss La Rouge. We’re taking it slowly—and we have tools!” Seth proclaimed, showing me his box before he threw it on the floor by his feet. By the sound of it, a lot of metal and glass was in there.
A lot of metal and glass that was surely going to hurt.
I looked at Taland again— help me!
What a silly, silly girl I could sometimes be.
Taland smiled harder.
Radock’s face filled my vision.
“Let’s try again, shall we? Now, tell us, who sent you after our little brother, Miss La Rouge? The name…”
Please.
They had some sort of wires set up and ready for me—Seth was just tying up loose ends, connecting them to this thick chain that they planned to wrap all around me. It would send small electrical shocks through my body, and because I was now stained, the charge would go throughout me because there would be no magic to act as a barrier and fry the wires as it should.
Then, while the shocks went throughout me, Radock had prepared a variety of blades on a half-broken table that they’d brought closer to the middle of the room.
Please, don’t do this…
“Chin up. Swallow, pretty girl.”
Kaid was by my side all of a sudden, my chin in his fingers. He pulled up my head and poured water right into my mouth without warning.
I wished I’d drown in that small bottle, but wishes were stars, and stars were too far away for me to reach. I didn’t drown, but I coughed my heart out for a little while as the brothers laughed. Water in my eyes, in my nostrils, going down my throat wrong, but my tongue was no longer dry. I was shaking, a mess of tears and weakness chained to a chair about to be electrocuted and cut open little by little—all while Taland watched from his chair near the corner.
He watched and smiled and played with his fingers.
“Okay—Seth goes first, then it’s my turn,” Radock said. “You went at her already, Kaid, so you take a step back until we’re done.”
“No fair,” Kaid said, pretending to pout, but he stepped away, resting his hip at the edge of that table. Then he picked up two knives and began to juggle them without even looking. His dark eyes were only on me.
“Okay, I’m ready,” Seth said, excited, proud, pulling at the chains he’d prepared for me slowly as if to not ruin all the hard work he’d done, twisting those wires around each link.
Please, please, please…
Radock helped him get them on my lap first, and then twisted them around my torso while I tried and tried to move and throw them off, tried to get up, to knock that chair down, to do anything other than sit there and take this madness.
I couldn’t, though. A moment later, Radock’s hand was around my neck. He squeezed and his magic, powerful Blackfire, slipped under my skin, pinning me in place. Stopping everything inside me as he whispered his spell—even my heart for a second. Even my lungs.
I choked on thin air, eyes wide open like they were about to pop right out of my skull, even though I couldn’t see anything.
“Enough!”
Taland’s voice rang in my ears and forced my mind to focus, and then the Blackfire magic settled, no longer pinning me, squeezing me as hard .
He was there, standing in between Seth and Radock, looking at his eldest brother without a smile for once, arms wide to the sides, fingers spread. That’s how he always looked when he felt threatened, and he was about to launch himself at someone. He did it every time in Combat class at the Academy.
“That’s too much. She’ll die,” Taland told Radock when he refused to say a single word. “Her life is mine, remember?”
Radock smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He let go of my neck and raised both his hands in surrender. “My sincerest apologies, Tal. I got a little carried away, that’s all.” But the look in his eyes said something entirely different.
“If she’d have stopped jerking like a madwoman, we would have already begun,” Seth said, locking the chains somewhere behind me. “There, that’s secure enough.” And he stepped in front of me, taking Taland away from my vision.
Which was a shame because he looked about ready to kill something right away—kill me. And I’d have loved to get this over with quickly, to not have to endure the pain of being electrocuted and cut open. Because now with Radock’s magic on me, I couldn’t even try to move away. I could barely blink my eyes and move my neck a little bit.
It’s okay, I told myself, because I was weak. I wouldn’t last long—just like I didn’t last when Kaid and Seth attacked me with their magic earlier. I’d lost blood and I hadn’t eaten and I was a fucking mess, not to mention… that word.
So, it would be over quickly. All I had to do was close my eyes and breathe and take the pain they were going to give me until it was Taland’s turn to end me .
Then I’d finally be free of all the bullshit. Finally.
So, they began.
Electricity shot from my left shoulder and down my arm, and it felt like wildfire going through my veins. I tried to keep that scream on the inside, but a groan came out of me anyway—couldn’t help it. My head was down, my eyes squeezed shut, and I was ready.
As ready as one can be to be tortured, I suppose.
Then we heard the sound.
It was like a siren that came from somewhere far away, but it was loud enough that it couldn’t be mistaken. Yes, definitely a siren, and one I’d heard before, many times.
Everything came to a halt.
“What the…”
Kaid’s voice snaked its way into my mind and had me wide awake and alert by the next second. He sounded alarmed. He sounded confused. Afraid.
I raised my head and looked at the brothers, all of them with their heads back, staring at the ceiling.
For a long second, nobody breathed.
Then the siren went off again, louder this time. Closer.
“They found us,” Seth whispered, stepping away from me.
“You brought them to us,” Radock said, and he was looking at me now, smiling in rage. “You brought them to us— how ?!”
Brought who?
I didn’t bring anyone anywhere!
My jaw was too frozen to speak.
“Radock, leave her—what’s the plan, brother? Give the order,” Kaid said, putting his hand over his brother’s shoulder, looking up still, waiting—and Seth and Taland were there as well .
“Kaid, give me eyes upstairs,” Radock said, but he refused to look away from me.
Iris, he was mad. His eyes were bloodshot, his clenched teeth showing as he fisted his hands and squeezed and squeezed…
“On it,” Kaid said, and he was already running while Seth was putting all those knives they’d set on the table on his person, everywhere he had pockets.
“How did you bring them to us? I searched you. I searched you,” Radock whispered to me, his hand around my jaws again, squeezing tightly.
Fuck, he wanted to burn me alive—and that was still not what scared me the most.
Like them, that siren terrified me more than anything because it meant that they had really found us. That siren was a siren of the IDD. That siren meant that the IDD was really here, come to find me, and I didn’t want to fucking go. I didn’t want to go back to that place. I didn’t want them to kill me and cover it up. I didn’t want to die at the hands of Madeline Rogan because then she would have won.
Because then she would have won everything.
My eyes found Taland’s as he stood behind Radock, not smiling, not winking anymore, but furious enough to unleash a world of darkness onto me.
And I wanted it.
“Kill me,” I said, this time in a whisper, as loud as Radock’s hand around my jaw allowed. Tears streamed from my eyes and I was hardly breathing. It would be so easy.
Please, just kill me. Don’t let them get to me…
Something flashed in Taland’s eyes, something that looked an awful lot like regret. Pure, raw regret .
Too late.
“You fucking cunt.”
Radock’s face filled my vision once more, and I saw it when he raised his hand, lightning fast. The back of it connected with my face. I didn’t even have the chance to breathe in.
My head fell to the side hard enough to make my neck snap.
Everything went dark.