Mud (Chromatic Mages #1)

Chapter 29

Rosabel La Rouge

Present day

As soon as I walked out of Refiq’s shop, I heard the scream. I was reaching for my knives before I knew what I was doing, but just as my hands closed around the handles, I realized that the crowd had gathered right in front of the street that led deeper into Night City.

Whitefire magic was shining brighter than I’d ever seen it do while a woman kneeled in front of someone who wasn’t moving.

Probably someone who had passed out.

Relieved, I let go of my knives as I went closer, sure that a player had fallen unconscious from the lack of food or something, and my first thought was that the Whitefire was helping to pull him out of it. Healing him.

In moments like this, I kept forgetting what kind of a game the Iris Roe was.

When I was close enough to the crowd of both players and residents, I realized that it was an elf who was on the ground, the side of his head gushing out so much blood it had already created a large red pool on the asphalt. After having searched all those puddles with my hands in the Redfire challenge, I found the sight of so much blood made me want to throw up more than ever before.

But the Whitefire woman wasn’t healing the elf.

No, she was chanting a necromancy spell instead, and soon, the elf’s body began to catch the white flames that were dancing all over it.

He fell, someone whispered.

He was carrying that bucket —said an orc, pointing at the broken asphalt of the sidewalk where a wooden bucket lay empty —and he just fell.

The gods must have taken him, bless his still heart…

Yes, yes, the gods…

But the gods most definitely did not turn the elf’s body to ashes at the whisper of the Whitefire mage. She had enough power to complete the spell as she should, apparently, because the piles of ashes that that elf became blew away with a wind the rest of us couldn’t feel. When they did, something remained on the asphalt, something small and metallic.

Whispers and gasps as we all leaned in to see better, but the Whitefire grabbed it lightning fast, stood up, and started running down the street, deeper into the city.

Her key. She got her key and completed the game already—all because she happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Except…

“Neat, isn’t it?”

For probably the twentieth time since this game began, I was so scared that I practically saw my soul leaving my body.

I turned to find Taland resting his back against the last shop in the square, half hidden in the darkness, eating an apple.

Just leaning there, watching, eating a fucking apple like he didn’t have a single care in the world.

To tell him that he scared me shitless was useless—he knew it already, and I’d just make his night, so when I strode to him, so angry I saw red, I said, “What the hell, Taland?! Stop following me !”

The bastard grinned. “Never.”

I tried my best to roll my eyes and mean it. “Fine. Then follow me in silence .” He’d been doing exactly that since I left Vuvu’s, anyway.

“But then how can I point out the obvious when it’s right in front of your face and you don’t see it?” he said, then threw the apple at me, half eaten. “Catch.” I instinctively did. “And eat , sweetness.”

The apple was green and it smelled delicious—and also Taland’s mouth had been on it—but I refused to eat it.

“What are you talking about? Point out which obvious?” I said instead.

“ This. The game that is about to become way deadlier.” Suddenly, he was by my side, his hands on my shoulders, and he spun me around toward where the crowd still lingered at the beginning of the street. “You know what that mage just did?”

“She got her key,” I said, hyperaware of his hands on me, of his proximity.

Damn it, he felt so good close to me like that.

“Yes, but how?” he whispered, leaning closer until his mouth was right next to my ear, and my knees got so weak. “She broke the sidewalk and sharpened those pieces of rock with her magic and spread them all over. She lured the elf out of the restaurant, then distracted him— scared him so he fell, sweetness. He fell and hit his head on those sharp rocks and died on the spot. Natural causes , technically speaking.”

“That’s…no, no, that can’t be.” It made no sense—to put rocks on the ground and then scare someone so they fell on them? That was not natural…was it?

“It can,” Taland whispered. “She prepared the scene, scared him. He died, and she got her key.” His breath blew against my neck, making ice-cold chills rush down my back. Fuck. “What do you think is going to happen now?”

His words rang in my ear, and my eyes that had been half closed without my even realizing it, opened all the way again.

“They’re all going to try to do the same.” The words fell from my lips, almost as if they were foreign.

“Good girl,” Taland said, and his tongue pressed flat on the side of my neck where it connected with my shoulder. He licked a clean line up to my ear again.

I about died.

“ Damn it, Taland,” was the best I could do, but at least he let go of me and stepped back, chuckling. Amused.

I threw him a look. This wasn’t fair, for fuck’s sake. It wasn’t fair that I was so weak and that he took advantage of it.

It was even less fair when he looked at me like he was really confused as he shrugged, “What?”

With a sigh, I shook my head. “Nothing. I just never knew how much my torment would entertain you,” I said, despite my better judgment.

But I just couldn’t seem to get over the fact that he handed me to his brothers, then watched as they tortured me.

Even though I was aware that I had no right to be mad about that. To be hurting because of that.

“You know now,” Taland said, his smile vanished.

Suddenly he looked tormented, too, but I was not going to allow myself to fall for that. It was an act—his words were what mattered. His words and his actions.

“Pay attention to the game, sweetness. The other players will be killing a lot more of the residents now, hoping for the luck of that Whitefire.” He nodded his head toward the street. “I don’t suppose you could be persuaded to try to do the same?”

“ No,” I said so fast I surprised myself.

Taland smiled again. “Thought so. But if you’re not going to do it, you want to be careful. They could be coming for you, too.”

Again, I shook my head and looked around, at the shops and the few players left who were already on their way deeper into the city.

“They wouldn’t. They can’t just go around pushing people and hoping they die.” It was too absurd.

But Taland was right next to me when he said, “Why do you think there are so many residents in the city, sweetness?”

My mouth opened, but I had no answer.

Taland grabbed my hand and brought the apple to my lips. “Bite.”

I did.

The taste of the apple was lost on me, though. I didn’t even care to ask him where he got it.

“Did you…did you…” I started to ask when the crowd disa ppeared completely, and it was just the two of us in that square.

“Did I kill someone to get my key?” he finished for me. I said nothing. “No. I didn’t have to, but I would have if I did.”

Lie. He was lying, and it wasn’t just the slight squint of his right eye, which he always did when he wasn’t being honest, but his voice turned up a bit, too. He was lying.

“Why did you do it?” I asked before I could bite my tongue.

Damn it, Rora…

Taland raised his brows. “Why did I do what?”

“That boy,” I whispered because I must have lost my mind.

But I did lose my mind trying to figure it out, though, hadn’t I? Since I saw that video. Since Cassie showed it to me. It had been in the back of my mind no matter how hard I pretended that I didn’t care. That I’d forgotten.

There’s only so many thoughts I can show to you here, but a lot more ran in my head at the same time.

“The boy in the Tomb. The kid. Why did you do that to him?” I hated that my voice shook, but the words were out there now.

And Taland continued to smile.

A heartbeat later, he shrugged. “Because I could.” He stepped around me toward the city. “Come on, sweetness. The clock is ticking. We need to find you a dead body.”

Fucking hell, he killed me without even trying.

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I said—and I did move. I went right ahead where he’d stopped to wait for me, slammed the half-eaten apple to his chest, and continued. “If you must follow me, go ahead. But don’t talk to me, Taland. Just don’t talk to me at all. ”

Tears in my eyes, but I was in control here, so I didn’t let them spill.

Until the asshole called, “Is it just me or did somebody actually grow a conscience while I was locked away?!” And he laughed.

No longer concerned with the tears, I focused on my legs to make sure they held me and on my heart to make sure it kept beating without breaking so completely.

I failed.

He was right behind me. I could feel it. Every time I turned, I could almost see his silhouette, but he stuck to the shadows so I never saw his face.

At least he wasn’t talking to me anymore.

I wondered how he did it. I wondered why the IDD hadn’t come to take him out yet. They must have seen his face on the screens. They had cameras here, everywhere, to transmit to the audience that was right over our heads, even if this playground was so chockfull of magic that we couldn’t really tell. If I tried hard enough, I could swear I heard applause and cheers, but the sky was still just as dark as it had been when I first fell here.

And the players were indeed getting more and more desperate.

At first, everything was the same closer to the edge of Night City, where the buildings were just a couple stories high, and the residents were the same people who drank and danced in the streets and ignored the players completely.

But about ten minutes in, I began to hear the screams.

Players were picking fights with elves and orcs at almost every corner, dragging them to alleys. And the residents saw, but they didn’t do anything. They didn’t even try to stop them now, didn’t say a single thing like they did in the beginning.

They didn’t go inside their shops and homes, either—which blew me away at first, but then I realized…

“They’re not allowed.” Because Taland was right—there was a reason they were here.

That reason was to be killed by the players. To be the dead bodies we needed to complete the challenge.

It pissed me off so much I saw red.

Glass broke somewhere over my head, at the top of a five-story building, and something fell. Someone fell—an elf woman wearing a yellow dress and heeled yellow shoes.

She screamed as she fell, then stopped abruptly when she hit the asphalt on her back.

Even though I was ten feet away, I could have sworn I heard her skull cracking on impact. So much death.

I looked up, my hands on the handles of my knives instinctively, and the player who appeared in front of the broken window screamed, “She’s mine!”

He wore blue leathers and a long beard that touched his chest, and he looked really big from down here, too—but even that didn’t mean anything when other players ran from almost every single alley around us.

The Bluefire screamed as he slipped out the broken window and began to climb down the building because others were already on the body of the elf. Those who got there first were fighting each other about who would claim the body with their necromancy spell.

Goddess, I couldn’t believe my own eyes. To me it felt like ages, but it all happened so incredibly fast. Players were fighting and the guy who’d actually pushed the elf out the window was trying to climb down as fast as he could, screaming in frustration still. And then a petite woman, possibly as small as the dead elf, snuck between the legs of two men slamming their fists against each others’ faces while they held each other close by their jackets at the same time, and she began to whisper her spell.

The Bluefire who was still climbing down saw it. Tried to reach for his wand. Lost his grip on the black bricks of the building’s facade. Fell silently, then hit the ground with an even bigger thud very close to the dead elf.

Iris, help me…

Now the players were fighting for his body, too, while the petite Redfire woman was already done chanting her necromancy spell, and the elf’s body turned to ashes, revealing for her, her key.

She took it, stood up, and before she started running, we made eye contact for just a second.

Her eyes were wide and blue-ish. She was scared shitless, shaking. Her skin was a sickening yellow, and she looked dehydrated, starving—but she got her key, and then she ran.

“Have you seen enough?”

This time I didn’t jump, wasn’t surprised to find Taland right beside me. I heard him approaching.

Without a word, I walked around the crowd still fighting over the body of the Bluefire player.

Taland followed.

“Leave me alone,” I managed to spit out when I witnessed another murder—this one an orc for whom a Blackfire guy had prepared a nice little scene with a lot of glass shards on the ground, and a nice little trap for him to trip over once he shoved him just a bit. It worked—the orc landed on the glass. One of the shards went right through the back of his neck and came out of his mouth.

What a sight to see.

“No,” was Taland’s response.

“Please, just—” I started again, but he didn’t let me.

“Don’t waste your breath, Rosabel. Don’t be so fucking stubborn and just accept my deal.”

“ No.”

He came in front of me.

I walked around him, and down the street.

“You will die. These players are ruthless. Each and every one of them made peace with their deaths when they walked through those gates. You cannot fathom the things they’re ready to do for that money,” he continued anyway.

“Sure, I can.”

“You really can’t. You can’t even stand to look long enough,” the asshole insisted.

“I put you in prison, didn’t I? I can handle this just fine.”

I regretted the words just as I said them, and I thought for sure they would drive him away from me finally. The stupid urge to turn around and apologize and say I didn’t mean it was so powerful I almost did it.

Thank Iris I was able to control myself in time.

“Baby, you almost threw up back there. Don’t lie to me—I always know.”

Baby, he called me.

I despised how much I loved it.

“So, you know when I’m telling you the truth—I want to be alone!”

Taland chuckled. “Just take the deal. Promise me something—anything in return.” He stepped in front of me again, and this time, when I tried to move around him, he grabbed me by the neck .

I stopped in my tracks, though he didn’t squeeze. Not at all, just held me there.

“I can’t protect you or help you with this challenge if you don’t promise me something, too.” Magic in the air—heavier than usual.

I shook my head. “Why are you here, Taland? You got the Blackfire key, how are you even here?”

“You can go back to the challenges you completed if you wish,” he simply said.

“So, go complete the rest!” Why was he wasting time with me still?!

He tsk -ed me. Actually tsk -ed me.

Then he brought his other hand to my face, and the magic became heavier—he was locking us up again, I thought. Away from prying eyes. And cameras.

He touched the tip of my nose first, then brought his thumb on my lower lip as he leaned closer to me—and like a damn fool, I didn’t move away.

“I am not here to win the game, sweetness.” He’d said so before, but how could I believe it?

“So, why did you break into the Roe?” You’d think he would have chosen a less deadly game in the City of Games if he wanted entertainment .

The way Taland smiled was almost sad. “Because I was bored.”

I flinched and didn’t even try to hide it—he was lying, and I hated that I knew.

But that only made him come closer. “Let me help you. This is not just a game. You won’t survive without magic.”

I saw my reflection in his eyes—he was that close. His hands were on me and I wished they were never anywhere else. My heart was in my throat, breaking with every beat, and it was so fucking exhausting to go against everything I wanted. Everything I needed all the damn time.

Even so, instead of wrapping my arms around him, I grabbed his wrists and pushed his hands off me. Instead of kissing those lips that breathed life in me, I stepped away from him. Instead of telling him all that was on my mind, I raised my chin and said, “Watch me.”

Taland smiled again, but when I walked away, he didn’t stop me.

The plan was to go back to Vuvu’s, pay him my last coin and wait for the hailstorm. I had no idea how much time had passed—or if the game was even close to finished—but I decided it was too much bother to try to figure out. It wasn’t something I could control. I was only going to make this whole thing worse on myself, so I decided not to think about that at all.

I decided not to think, period—just focus on the asphalt, the sidewalk, the buildings, but not the players sneaking round, trying to find clever ways to bring the residents of Night City to their deaths in a way that was considered natural . Not the residents, who refused to go inside and lock their damn doors, but who were perfectly aware of what was happening around them, and they looked terrified even as they danced.

Not Taland, who was not following me right now that I could see—or hear.

Yes, I decided, but that doesn’t mean I succeeded. Not even close.

He’d come into the Iris Roe for me. I was sure he had. He was really desperate for that vault and what was in it, and I had no clue what the hell I was going to do about it.

Make no mistake, I was under no illusion that the IDD were good . After what had happened to me, and after what I was witnessing in this game, they were far, far from the good guys they claimed to be. But did that mean that if I were to walk out of this game, I wouldn’t tell them what Taland planned?

If I walked out of the Roe, would I tell them that he’d been here, if they didn’t already know? I wanted to say impossible, they do know! but Taland had more than enough magic to conceal himself if he wanted. He wouldn’t risk going back to prison, even for me…would he?

Too many possibilities, and I wasn’t comfortable with any of them. And all I’d do was overthink if I went back to that room, so I made for the roundabout instead, and prayed really, really hard that Refiq was better at his job than he believed, and that a hailstorm would come forth within minutes, and it would kill a bird—just one bird—and then I could…

Do what, dumbass?

My own mind mocked me.

But I’d figure it out, wouldn’t I? I’d figure it out. What mattered was that the hailstorm came. Until it did, I could do nothing but wait.

I really should have stuck to alleys or Vuvu’s, though. I shouldn’t have gone out in the open like that where everyone could see me because what if someone recognized me from the other challenges? What if someone knew what I was?

I didn’t even consider it, my mind lost elsewhere, looking up at the darkness, searching for the hailstorm. I didn’t even consider it until minutes passed and I looked around and locked eyes with a Whitefire guy standing with two others of his coven in a circle near one of the lampposts on the sidewalk.

Until he raised his finger toward me, and I read the words on his lips: she’s the Mud.

My heart skipped a beat, but my instincts fired up instantly. The other two players standing with him turned to me, and they were shocked. I saw it in their eyes.

And I saw their greed, too.

Cursing under my breath, I turned around and, as casually as I could, went right back where I came from. With a gun in my hand and a dagger in the other, I walked as fast as my legs could carry me, but those players still followed. Their footsteps echoed in my head.

I slipped into the first alley, hoping the dark would cover me, that I could disappear up a building, or even find a door to sneak inside somewhere. Vuvu’s Inn was a few alleys away, but if I could get to the other side, to the next street over, I could find it in no time.

At least that’s what I thought was going to happen, and that’s why I was semi-calm at first.

Then I realized that the alley I’d chosen had a dead end.

Fuck, I couldn’t get through to the other side at all. A wall as tall as the four-story buildings to my sides blocked my way, and it was smooth concrete with nothing to hold onto, even if I’d wanted to try to climb it.

Just like that, everything changed.

I turned around, almost surprised that I’d ended up here so fast— wasn’t I just at the empty roundabout waiting for a hailstorm?!— even though I knew since the beginning that I was going to die in this game. But the past two days I’d actually survived, and that had given me hope. False hope, but hope, nonetheless .

And now that it was taken from me again, so suddenly, so violently, I found I was very reluctant to let go.

Footsteps behind me.

“Hey, where you going?” said a man, but I couldn’t see anything at all in the darkness of the alley, until white light sprung to life somewhere to the left.

Above the palm of the Whitefire woman.

She and her friends were standing in the middle of the alley, while I was stuck at the very end, with nothing but that concrete wall behind me.

Fuck, I’m so screwed…

But I still had my weapons, didn’t I? I still had bullets and blades. I wasn’t helpless, damn it! I was an IDD agent—I’d faced much worse creatures than these three.

At the reminder, my heartbeat calmed down again, and I raised my chin. No running —not that it mattered, anyway. Couldn’t if I tried, but still.

“What do we have here?” said the other man on the right.

“Yes—that’s her, all right. I saw her on the Tree of Abundance. She has no magic. She’s the Mud,” said the first guy, standing in the middle.

The woman holding the light in her hand laughed. “How in the world did you even manage to get in the Roe?”

“Or survive ?” the other guy wondered.

“Who gives a fuck,” said my buddy in the middle. “I wonder how we can make her fall to her death real quick. Nobody’s even gonna notice.”

“Easy. We can paralyze her first, and she’ll fall all on her own—on some invisible sharp wood or glass that just happens to be there on the ground,” said the woman and shrugged. “It counts. ”

“Ye, ye, ye,” said the one in the middle. “First one’s mine, though. Like we agreed.”

“A deal’s a deal,” said his friend on the right with a nod.

“I’ll keep the lights on. Go ahead, fellas,” said the woman, leaning her shoulder against the wall, smiling, completely at ease.

And the two men stepped toward me.

“Stop,” I warned. “I will shoot you.” And I would. At this point I wouldn’t even hesitate.

“I could use a gun like that, actually. They look—” his friend started as they took yet another step closer to me.

So, I made good on my promise and shot a bullet at their feet.

They screamed. They jumped.

“If you come any closer, the next bullets are going through your skulls,” I spit, but I shouldn’t have bothered. I shouldn’t have wasted precious seconds with threats—I should have aimed for their foreheads the first time around. Because by the time I shot my gun again, they’d already called up shields, and my bullets were useless, shells falling to the ground as the men—and the woman—laughed.

No matter, I said to myself, putting the gun away for the moment. I still had my daggers and plenty of knives, and I knew how to get close and personal with these men.

So, with two of my biggest daggers in hand, I ran for them without hesitation.

Except I miscalculated the whole thing again because even though I had these long blades to fight with, they had something that I couldn’t even protect myself against— magic.

Whitefire magic slammed against my chest, coming from the woman who was still keeping a small light on in her free hand. Second-degree spell, but it was strong. I saw her face, eyes wide and smile vanished, as she whispered furiously, and her spell was no joke. She had a lot of magic, and her spell was meant to induce a lot of pain.

I felt it. I felt every little ounce of it when it picked me up and threw me against the concrete wall.

Bones cracked. I fell on the ground on my side, blood dripping from my nose, my body in so much agony so suddenly that all I could do was clench my muscles in hope for release.

Fuck me, that had been quick.

I was a damn fool to think I could hurt them with my weapons when they had magic and I didn’t. Now the three of them were coming closer, grinning, saying something I couldn’t really hear, and death was on the tip of my tongue. They were going to paralyze me—if the woman hadn’t already. I couldn’t really feel any part of my body yet, even though the worst of the pain had retreated—and they were going to make sure I fell on something sharp. They were going to make sure I died, and they were going to use my body to get their key.

Goddess, they were going to use my body for a fucking key. My ashes would forever remain here in this playground.

Until…

“What kind of a game are we playing here, friends?”

The men, the woman—and my heart—stood perfectly still for a moment.

The next second, they turned around toward the mouth of the alley where the voice had come from.

His voice.

I closed my eyes and released a long breath and I finally unclenched my muscles.

Taland. I’d completely forgotten about Taland .

Taland was here.

“Oh, c’mon, tell me. It looks so exciting, I want to play, too!”

Unmistakable. His voice, one hundred percent.

“This doesn’t concern you. Walk away, Blackfire. Find your own damn body,” said the guy in the middle.

A chuckle.

The sound vibrated through me, and my eyes opened. I pushed myself to raise my head just a bit, just to see his face. The light that woman was holding in her hands had turned brighter so they could all see better, and I did, too. Taland was leaning against the wall to the right, one foot up against it, his arms crossed like he’d never been more comfortable in his life.

“I’m afraid I can’t walk away, friend. That’s my body—and I mean that in a very literal sense,” the asshole said, smirking, eyes so bright they sparkled as they reflected the Whitefire light dancing on the woman’s hand. “Not to mention she’s a player, too. I thought we were only going after residents?” The mock in his voice was perfectly clear to me.

“She’s Mud ,” the other man said, pointing his finger at me without bothering to even turn his head.

Taland gave him a nod. “Yes, and she’s also mine .” Finally, he moved away from the wall, and with his hands in his pockets, he faced the three Whitefires with his whole body.

“Looks like we have another body to use,” said the woman, stepping closer to Taland. “Second one’s mine, boys. Don’t forget.”

And in those moments, I wanted to say, Stop! Don’t even try—he’ll kill you. Effortlessly. Without an ounce of guilt .

Do you not know how he almost killed a kid in a prison cell, and laughed about it?

Do you not know how he smiled while his brothers tortured me?

Of course, I didn’t. Yes, it was my first instinct to want to warn someone when I knew they were about to die, except these guys had been trying to kill me.

No—these guys would have killed me if Taland hadn’t been here. They’d have killed me with no remorse and no regrets. They’d have used my body to get their keys, too.

I pushed myself to sit up, and it hurt like hell, especially in my bad leg. That spell seemed to have activated the initial pain all over again.

But the magic was fading, and the pain was lessening by the moment everywhere else. The rest would be gone in no time.

“Oh, you’re far too kind. You’re going to offer yourself to me to kill willingly? Really, I have no words. I’m in awe,” said Taland with that smile on his face, and madness in his eyes that these people were too cocky to see. If they could, they’d be running away without looking back by now.

“Come here, boy,” said the man in the middle. “Let me show you that real dogs don’t bark—they bite .” And he charged for Taland without fear. With his head up, his hands raised. With his heart full of hope that he could take Taland because he was physically bigger and at least a decade older.

Then I forced myself to keep my eyes open when Taland moved, too—just his hand. He pulled it out of his pocket and Blackfire magic was already dancing on his skin. His lips moved as he whispered his spell, that smile never leaving his face, and the magic was so dark, so all-consuming, that when it hit the man on his face, it killed him on the spot.

A third-degree spell, perfectly executed , out teachers would say. He was always the best at doing near impossible spells with minimal effort. His body brimmed with raw power.

The man hit the ground the next second, and the Blackfire magic remained on his body, flames dancing over him like they were in a celebration.

The other two stopped. Looked at their friend, at Taland, then back again.

The light on the woman’s hands turned dimmer, and then they looked at one another.

Were they planning to attack him, too?

I almost rolled my eyes. “Just run! You can’t win against him,” I said through gritted teeth because I was stupid. Because even though a big part of me wanted them dead, too, I still couldn’t help myself.

The Whitefires started to walk toward the mouth of the alley, keeping next to the walls and as far away from Taland as they could. And Taland put his hands in his pockets again, no sign on him that he’d used a third-degree spell at all. He just grinned and looked at the woman, then turned to the man on his other side and said, “ Boo. ”

He didn’t even raise his voice at all.

The Whitefires ran all the way out of the alley.

I closed my eyes and rested my head back against the concrete, thinking, I could really, really use a break right about now. And some food. And some water.

Taland was already squatting in front of me.

“As I was saying before, sweetness, you need my help. Accept it, or I will just have to kill every player in this game until we’re the only ones left.”

He wasn’t even kidding .

He carried me to Vuvu’s because the Whitefires hadn’t been kidding around either, when they said they meant to paralyze me—they’d almost succeeded. Everything below my hips had turned numb by the time they ran away. My legs refused to work, though I felt them just slightly, so Taland had to actually carry me in his arms.

Halfway there I was pretty sure the magic had faded completely and my legs would hold me if I took it very slowly, but…

Well, Taland had his arms around me, one under my knees, the other tightly around my waist. And I had my arms around him because I had to , because I’d have fallen if I wasn’t holding onto his neck and touching the ends of his hair with the backs of my fingers casually (no way could he notice). And feeling his strong chest against my side. And breathing in his scent (again, no way he could tell).

So, I kept my mouth shut and I let him carry me to that alley while I pretended to be too pissed off to speak when he asked me if I was okay every few feet.

The truth was that I wasn’t pissed off—just terrified that I’d sound like a deflating balloon if I tried to speak. My cheeks were really hot.

But Taland left me in the alley all alone with the instruction to not accept any food because Vuvu would not reveal the door of his inn if he stayed with me. He didn’t say that he’d be up there, sneaking in through the window, but he didn’t have to. By now I’d accepted that he wasn’t going anywhere.

I’d accepted that I maybe didn’t want him to.

Vuvu was happy to see me and refused to let me through the door without paying him his coin. My last one, and he said it would win me another tomorrow, as well as some (warmer, this time) meal. I said I’d eat later if that was okay with him because Taland said no food for any reason , and Vuvu didn’t really care. Didn’t offer to help me upstairs even though he saw I was barely walking.

It was better that way, anyway, because even though it took me a good long time to take all those stairs to the third floor, I found Taland waiting by the open door to my room with his hands in his pockets.

“I can walk—” by myself, I wanted to say when he strode toward me, but he didn’t even let me finish. Not like I was able to do anything to stop him, so he grabbed me in his arms again and he took me to the room, pushed the door closed with his foot, and put me in bed. In one fluid motion.

Fluid —yes, that’s a word I’d use to describe him. Everything he did was so fluid.

“Did you eat anything?”

I shook my head. “I said I’d eat later.” And a good thing he’d warned me, too, because I was starting to feel a little sick now that I wasn’t moving anymore. Every time I tried to sit up a little higher, the nausea took my breath away.

“Good. You’re going to throw up now, sweetness. A lot. I’ll bring you something from the bathroom. Don’t try to stand.” He stood up.

“What? What do you mean?”

Only when I spoke did I realize that my words were kind of slurred together.

Fuck, when the hell did that happen?!

“Inflicted paralysis by pure Whitefire magic—remember? We learned about it in Healing,” he said with a grin.

I narrowed my brows. “I don’t rem?—”

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t remember. You were trying really hard to keep quiet during that lesson. ”

“What?” Again, the word came out as waaa?

Something was definitely wrong here.

“It was that day you wore your extra short skirt so I had to sit with you and put my hand underneath it. Between your legs,” he calmly explained. “You were trying not to moan or scream—or both.”

Heat on my cheeks—or at least there should have been a lot of blood gathering on my face.

For some reason it didn’t, but I remembered exactly the class he was referring to. Mr. Bardo had explained to us how to use paralysis when we needed to work on a person’s nervous system slowly or to extract something from the body safely. It worked better than any anesthesia, with no side effects except you threw up a lot if you ate within the last twelve hours before the spell, and it left you drained for a couple hours afterward.

I hadn’t been focused on that lesson at all, but I’d read more about it in my dorm room because, like Taland said, he’d been doing things to me and I was trying really, really hard not to let the whole class know what.

“You do remember,” said Taland, and another wave of nausea hit me hard. I closed my lips and brought both hands to my mouth, though they moved so much slower than I was telling them to.

Fuck, this was happening. Bile in my throat as Taland said something else, then disappeared from the room for a moment. This was actually happening because there was no way I could hold all of my insides back when they were so insistent on coming out of me.

I was going to throw my guts out right in front of Taland Tivoux.

Now I really wanted to die.

There was a blue and grey plastic bucket in front of me, and Taland was sitting on the side of the bed what felt like the next second. Sweat dripped from my forehead as I tried to hold myself back, hoping to sleep, hoping to keep it in.

Impossible.

Taland pulled me to the side and my face was in the bucket and I was throwing up like I had an ocean to release from my fucking mouth.

I had no idea how long it even lasted, but I passed out—hopefully soon—and who knew if I threw up again?

Flashes of the next few hours haunted me when I did wake up, though. Of Taland’s face, brows furrowed, concern in his eyes. Of Taland’s hand around my hair. Of Taland’s other hand holding the bucket in front of me. Of Taland’s voice in my ear, telling me to let go, that it was going to be over soon and that I was going to be all right.

Taland, Taland, Taland —and this wasn’t like when I imagined him back home. I knew this wasn’t a dream, and the taste in my mouth—so fucking awful—confirmed it as soon as I was aware of myself again.

I had really thrown up for a long time, and possibly filled an entire bucket with my vomit.

Fuck.

I sat up with a jolt, wiggling my toes to make sure my legs were working fine. They were. And Taland was nowhere to be seen.

The window was half open, and I was so thankful for the cold air. The bucket had disappeared, and there was no weird smell in the room that I noticed.

My breath, though…

My jacket, weapons and boots were off me, by the side of the bed, and I didn’t even stop to look outside the window. My legs were holding me, and I needed to get to the bathroom and wash my hands and face asap .

I did.

Nobody in the hallway, no weird noise or scent. Everything was dark, the light from the lamps on the walls faded, and the bathroom was empty, too. The bucket where I’d thrown my guts out was under the sink. Clean. Not a trace of my vomit anywhere, which made me want to throw up all over again.

Taland had cleaned it. Taland had watched me throw up. Taland had held my hair back while I did.

Fuck!

And to make matter worse, there was no toothpaste in the cabinet over the sink, only some mouthwash that I barely kept in my mouth for a few seconds because it smelled funny. Not like mouthwash should.

When I returned to the room, I felt exhausted already, my limbs heavy but they moved at normal speed, at least. I grabbed my holsters and sheaths from the edge of the bed just as the sound of rattling metal reached me, a second before Taland’s head appeared right outside the window.

“Morning, sweetness. Sleep well?”

I flinched so hard he laughed as he climbed inside, pushing the window up all the way to let himself through.

Damn it, he’d seen me throwing up. I hated that so much I couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t even say morning back.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, straightening his leather jacket as he took me in, then ran his hands through his disheveled hair like he was posing for a damn photoshoot. Damn you, Taland Tivoux.

“What do you care?” I said, and it wasn’t fair in the least—but what about my life was?

Taland’s grin only widened. “Well, since I carried your vomit around all night, I think I deserve to know if you’re going to be throwing up again.”

Goddamn sonovabitch!

I threw the holster with my guns on the bed again and crossed my arms in front of my chest. “Nobody asked you to do that, Taland.” My blood was flowing normally now, too, because my cheeks were extra flushed. So hot I didn’t dare touch them.

“True,” he admitted with a nod, not fazed in the least as he stopped in front of me, looking down at me like he was measuring how much of me he could take in one bite. Fuck.

“And maybe we should focus on the fact that you killed a guy before you brought me here, right?” I continued to mutter because it was all too much—the embarrassment and the way he was looking at me right now was a dangerous combination.

“I sure did,” he said—again, like we were talking about the fucking weather.

I blinked at him. “You killed a player, Taland.” Because it seemed to me like he didn’t grasp the meaning of those words just yet.

“I remember, sweetness. I was there,” he said. “And your precious IDD can’t add that to my sentence—we are well within our rights to take lives in here. Murder is perfectly legal. Morals do not exist in the City of Games—or haven’t you heard?”

His voice was soft, low, easy as a breeze. I shook my head. “This is serious.” That I needed to even point it out to him blew me away.

“So is your health. Are you sure you want to get out of bed yet?” he said and raised his hand to touch my cheek like he owned me .

I had the good sense to step away—except that only made him come closer again.

So, I took another step back, and he took one forward.

So damn infuriating, but I closed my eyes and I breathed in deeply because I needed to get this out of the way so that I never had to think about it again.

“Look, Taland, thank you for?—”

“Saving your life?”

I gave him a look. “For taking care of me last night.”

“It’s only been an hour since you stopped throwing up.” And he shrugged. “Here. Have an apple.” He produced a small one from his pocket and brought it close to my face.

“No, I—” I stopped myself.

I most definitely didn’t need an apple, but the way it would cleanse my mouth of that funny-tasting mouthwash…

“Hmm? Not even a little bite?” He held it in front of me still, the skin of it green and glossy and perfect.

My mouth watered. I licked my lips.

Taland looked at them with an arched brow as if he thought I was doing it for his benefit.

Holding my breath, I reached for the apple, but he moved it away.

“ Uh-uh . I hold, you bite.”

A twinkle in his eyes said he was enjoying himself immensely, just like always when he was making me suffer.

So, he held the apple in front of me again, and I bit.

At the same time, he bit the other side.

Damn him and that mischievous little grin he had on when I fell back and hit the wall. But the apple was in my mouth now, and it was so juicy, so flavored, sweet and sour at the same time, that it was worth it.

“Where do you even get those apples?” I asked because food seemed to be very hard to come by in Night City, and he’d had an apple last time I saw him, too.

“There’s an orchard close to the edge of the city,” was the answer he gave me. “Want another bite?”

“No, thanks. I’m going to go downstairs and eat the meal Vuvu promised me.” And be as far away from you as possible, was what I didn’t say out loud.

“You sure you want to go down there like this? You’re still weak.” Another step closer.

Now I had nowhere to go. “I’ll be stronger once I eat. I have to get out there soon.” Because Refiq might be done with the hailstorm, and I needed to be there to find a dead bird— if it even worked.

“Why? What’s your plan?” He bit into the apple again, and the sound of it, the idea of how juicy it would be in his mouth…then the idea of his mouth on mine…

“Answer me, sweetness—have you found a body?” he continued because I couldn’t make a sound yet.

“No, but I will soon,” I muttered.

He squinted his eyes. “Where?”

“Move back.” I put my hands on his chest and pushed.

He didn’t budge. “No.”

“Taland—”

“What’s the plan? Tell me,” he whispered instead, throwing the core of the apple back against the wall without even looking, then grabbing my face in his hands.

Like I said, the wall was right behind me, so I had no place to go. He pressed his whole body against me, and I stopped breathing.

He touched me without my permission. He was deep into my personal space. His whole body was pressed to mine, and it was just as inappropriate as the thoughts in my head .

Because of all this, I should have been freaking out, but I wasn’t. I was standing very, very still as he raised my head little by little.

“Talk—or you won’t be able to in a minute,” he said, his voice husky, thick, so fucking sexy I was gonna die.

But how could I talk when I had no clue if I had any voice to make words with? Closing my eyes, I pulled my lips inside my mouth because it did look like he wanted to kiss me, and I wanted him to and didn’t at the same time.

Iris, what is happening here? I wondered as I hung onto the way his breath blew on my face.

“Sweetness?”

My eyes opened. I let go of my lips to ask, what?

He kissed me the same second.

My entire body became numb, like I was hit with that Whitefire spell all over again. His hands were on my face, mine on his wrists, and I was holding onto him with all my being, wishing he didn’t let go.

He didn’t.

Taland stayed there for a long time, our lips touching, our breaths held, our bodies one.

Then he moved back just a tiny bit, drew in air deeply and whispered, “Say aah for me, baby.”

“Ta—”

His tongue was in my mouth before I could get his name out.

The first time he kissed me, I thought I died, or that the world had stopped spinning, or that everything had sort of fallen into a state of chaos because no way could life simply continue after that feeling.

Unfortunately for me, the effect was the same for me now. I was no longer in Vuvu’s inn or in Night City or in the States—or even the damn planet .

I existed only on Taland’s lips.

His tongue inside my mouth was better than any apple. Even though a little voice in my head was whispering to me that I should stop this, that I should at least try to push him away again, I didn’t.

I found myself sucking on his tongue instead. Whimpering. Wrapping my arms around his neck.

Fuck, I’m in trouble.

But for now, I was going to kiss Taland Tivoux like I’d been dreaming of doing every single night for far too long, everything else be damned. Because I was going to die in this game, wasn’t I? Even if I was still trying to fight, I couldn’t fool myself—I knew I was going to die.

Might as well allow myself this little thing before I went.

(See how easily I fooled myself there?)

I held on tightly to his neck and took his lip between my teeth and bit—and goddess, he was fucking delicious. Seriously out of this world, the taste of him. I moaned in his mouth without caring what he’d think, and it was so liberating to give in all the way like this, just like I used to.

He tasted better than before.

Letting go of my face, he wrapped one arm around my waist and squeezed me to him tightly, and with the other he grabbed my hair to hold me in place, like he really thought I was going anywhere.

We kissed for a long time, yet not nearly long enough. His tongue in my mouth did wonders to bring me back to life little by little, and when he bit me violently, I cried out in ecstasy. When he sucked my lips into his mouth with the same urgency, I felt it everywhere in my body. My knees became weaker and weaker.

It was perfect. It was Taland, and his hair was in my hands and his hard cock pressed against my stomach and I never wanted it to end.

Then it did.

“Tell me something, sweet Rose,” he whispered against my lips.

“Hmm,” I mumbled—it was the best I could do, eyes half-closed still, my body yearning for his.

“Have you, by any chance, killed someone accidentally since the last time you saw me?”

I stopped.

That was an awfully specific question.

“I’ve killed people.” And creatures, too—on the job. No regrets there—they were some really awful people, or they were trying to kill me, too. Like those catfairies in the woods back home.

“Yes, but accidentally . You know, when you were…” he smiled, licked my bottom lip until I moaned again, and added, “when you didn’t mean to.”

“No,” I whispered, not sure why he was talking about this now of all times.

Couldn’t he see how desperate I was for his mouth?

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. What are you?—”

There went my breath, down his throat again, and he devoured me thoroughly within minutes. I was this close to begging him to take my clothes off and fuck me. I’d get on my knees and beg because he felt so good. Like freedom and pleasure and love and happiness all rolled into one.

His hands roamed down my body and mine slipped under his jacket and shirt, down his muscled back. I wanted his clothes off so badly, and by the way he was yanking at mine, he wanted them to disappear, too. His hand was on my ass, grabbing, squeezing, slapping so hard I cried out again. Fuck, he knew how to handle me so well. The pain fired up my pleasure and his other hand was under my shirt, over my bra, cupping my breast as he moaned louder.

Then he slammed me against the wall and pushed my hands down to my sides, and when I complained, he didn’t let me.

“Don’t move,” he ordered, but I was too far gone now to obey him, so I tried to reach out for him anyway.

Such a beautiful mess. Hair all over the place and eyes bloodshot and lips swollen, his chest rising and falling so fast…

“Taland,” I breathed, desperate to feel him closer, but he grabbed my hands and spun me around before I knew what the hell was happening.

Suddenly my chest was against the wall, and he was pressed to my back, my arms up, both my wrists in his hand as he squeezed tightly. He moaned right into my ear when he raised on his tiptoes and rubbed his cock against my ass.

Fuck, I was so wet. My body moved on its own and I bent over, jutting my ass out as he moved faster, thrusting against me. He felt so good I was close to coming, especially when he brought his other hand between my legs and touched me right where I was throbbing with need.

I cried out his name, throwing my head back, completely surrendered.

“Are you wet, sweetness?” he whispered in my ear and bit my earlobe, making my back arch deeper. He moaned, too, pressing his hips to my ass until it fucking hurt.

“Yes,” I choked, trying to free my hands so I could reach down and grab his and guide it under my pants. I needed him to touch me so desperately. One touch and I’d be free.

“You haven’t been fucked in so, so long,” he said. “Your perfect body hasn’t been touched at all. You were loyal to me, weren’t you.”

It wasn’t a question.

My eyes opened a little wider, alarms ringing in my head so suddenly, chasing away the pleasure for a moment. Letting me think a bit clearer.

“I have been touched,” I lied because there was no way I’d let him know exactly how pathetic I had been since he was imprisoned. No way.

But he pressed himself to me harder, grabbed my pussy with his whole hand and said, “You haven’t, and you never will be. Your body is marked. You belong to me, sweetness.”

Those words messed with my head.

I could hardly believe it, but they cooled down my body instantly. Not all the way, but enough so that I could see exactly what the hell I’d been doing.

Enough to make me want to wiggle free from his grip and turn around, at least.

He let me.

“I don’t belong to anybody. My body is mine—I do with it whatever I want.”

The asshole grinned. “So why haven’t you?” His lips were raw red—my favorite color on him. It looked perfect with his dark eyes and darker hair.

“I have ,” I insisted.

“Liar.” He rested his hand on the wall next to my head and came in for a kiss.

I turned my head away at the last second, but when his lips connected with my cheek, I felt the electricity all the way to my toes.

“I’m not lying. I have been with other people.”

“You haven’t.” He said it with such ease it only infuriated me more .

And what the hell had I been thinking, not being with other people, anyway? What the hell was the matter with me? All those times guys had asked me out, and I’d always said no. Never even considered it. Never wanted to see a male person who was interested in me romantically, let alone do something more.

Not Taland, not Taland, not Taland —that’s all I’d been able to think about, but maybe that was the whole point! Not Taland should have been a good thing.

I stepped to the side, desperate for air now the way I’d been for his lips just moments ago.

“Fuck you, Taland. You have no idea who I am or what I’ve done.”

At that, the smile dropped from his face. “I do, unfortunately,” was what he said, and he straightened his jacket. “That still doesn’t change the fact that you’ll die in this game without me.”

I raised my chin and prepared the words that were at the tip of my tongue— I won’t. I’ll be just fine. I don’t need you!

But I did, and that was always the problem. Always the thing that got in my way.

When everyone went out and had fun and lived life, I stayed home and cried. I stayed home and daydreamed with my eyes open. I stayed home and wrote about him—endless pages.

I never even gave anybody a chance—just so he could stand there, the cocky bastard, and use that against me as if it were a weapon?

Not for long, I said to myself in my head. And I swore on my life that the very moment I walked out of the Roe, if I ever did, I was going to fuck the first guy who talked to me, just because. No reason, no thinking, no excuse—I was just going to do it, Taland Tivoux be damned .

“You’re right, Taland,” I finally said. “You killed that man in the alley and you took care of me for hours. I can’t protect myself no matter how many bullets and blades I have on my person.”

He was actually surprised, even though he tried to hide it.

“Nothing I haven’t been telling you since the get-go,” he said.

“And, yes, I could really use some help with getting the keys or just staying alive until this game is over, but I will not help you break into the IDD vault. I will not stand by and let you do it, either. Whatever else I can do to pay for your help, I will, but those are a no. A definite no.”

Because he would die. If he tried to get in the vault in any way with or without my knowing about it, he was going to die. They’d kill him on the spot, and I was never going to let that happen.

Closing his eyes, Taland leaned against the wall where he’d been kissing and touching me just now.

Fuck, the way that moment felt like a lifetime away already. My heart was still thundering in my chest and I was still breathing heavily. My panties were soaked and there was a part of me that wanted to jump in his arms right now—screw everything else.

But reality had already kicked in and it had knocked me on my ass, figuratively speaking. I stayed right where I was and I waited for him to make up his mind, tell me to go fuck myself, and leave.

Except this was Taland, and with Taland, you never really knew what came next. That was always a part of his charm.

“Well, then we just have to figure out what else you can do for me, sweetness,” he said, smiling now as he stared at the floor for a moment. “I suppose I could bend you over—that view is always a prize?—”

“Taland!” I said with a groan because now he was just being a prick.

“You’re gonna have to pay me somehow. I’m just exploring my options here.” And he pretended to be serious as he said it.

“My body is not on your list of options,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Of course, it is. You wouldn’t have saved it for me if it wasn’t.”

The audacity of this guy. “I didn’t save anything for you!” Why in the fuck was he so damn infuriating?!

“So, what’s it called when you don’t even kiss another man in years?” he mocked.

Apparently, trying to lie to him was useless. He’d know.

That’s why I switched tactics.

“I haven’t kissed another man— until now ,” I said, and his smile dropped instantly. “Maybe I will before this game is over. And I definitely will when it is.”

He had me so worked up I hadn’t even noticed how I was standing with my legs slightly to the sides and my hands on my hips, so frustrated I was shaking.

The spark in his eyes turned darker and darker… “I’d threaten you with their lives, sweet Rose, but…” Slowly, his face transformed with a wicked grin. “Let’s just say I won’t.”

He moved away from the wall, hands in his pockets, completely at ease again.

“In fact, you should do exactly what you said as soon as you can.”

What the actual fuck.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “Maybe I will. ”

“You should. Really, it’ll be so good for you. Most importantly, it would absolutely show me, ” he said, towering over me, not a hint of arousal left on him. He was back to just being amused. “So, do it. Definitely do it.” A chuckle.

He walked around me and to the window, leaving me more confused by the second. I really had no fucking clue what to make of this guy.

I mean, what ?!

“Here’s what I require from you, sweetness. When you get your colors back and we’re out there again, you will show up at a specific location on the twenty-first of September, midnight sharp. How does that sound?”

I narrowed my brows. “What location?”

“You will receive the address a day before.”

What the… “And do what exactly?”

“No questions. You will be there—alone. I can promise you that you will be safe. The rest, you’ll have to see for yourself.”

Leave it to Taland to give me even more absurd demands. Not gonna help me break into the IDD vault or stand by and watch while I do it? Fine—you can just show up at a random address on a random date and hope for the best.

“Let me guess—you want to gift me to your brothers to continue their torture.” He didn’t even flinch. “And you’re gonna watch from the shadows, enjoy the show?”

Nope, not even a twitch of his eyes, damn him.

That was probably it, though. That’s why he wanted me to show up at that place, just like I showed up at the Blue House.

But the thing was, I wasn’t actually going to survive this, was I? I kept telling myself this—I was going to die in this game, and if I accepted his help, I’d have an easier time before the end .

And I’d be close to him until it was over. I’d be with him while he completed the rest of the challenges, too. Not that I’d admit it to myself, but that could be the best gift life could offer me before my end—a little time with Taland.

“I’ll be there,” I said in the end, defeated and excited at once. “September twenty-first, midnight.”

He smiled. “Good girl.” Goose bumps erupted down my arms—I both hated and loved when he called me that. It made me want to be a good girl for him all the damn time.

“Now go downstairs and eat. I’ll meet you outside.”

He pulled the window up and jumped without warning, without hesitation.

I let go of a long breath.

I knew I’d gotten myself in trouble with him—of course I did.

But that day I still had no idea just how deep Taland Trouble really ran.