Chapter 4
Shiloh
Uh, did anyone else just randomly lose power or did we forget to pay the light bill?
Levi
We definitely paid the light bill. My bank account is sure of it.
Mal
We paid our light bill and our power just went out too.
Nico
Right in the middle of the best part of the fucking show too. Rude.
Cree
Powers out here too.
Seven
We’re fine.
Levi
Yeah, we know, money bags. Stop rubbing it in.
Seven
Stay jealous.
Lake
I’m at work. The power is still on here…unfortunately.
Silas
The whole city is dark. Looks like a total blackout.
Nico
On Christmas Eve? Da fuq, dude? I bet they’re choking out the power on purpose.
Arsen
The garage went dark too. Coe said Thomas invited us to have Christmas with them.
Shiloh
Seriously? Just come to the mansion and have Christmas with us? He really is like Daddy Warbucks.
Ever
Who?
Shiloh
The rich dude who adopts Annie.
Ever
Ohhhhh.
Who’s Annie?
Shiloh
It's a movie. We’ll watch it next weekend.
Levi
Please no.
Shiloh
You’re not invited. Go play with Mal or something.
Nico
So…are we just gonna go watch rich people open their gifts? We didn’t buy anything for anyone there.
Lake
Rich people don’t care about that shit, dude. They have everything they want anyway. Thomas could gift all of his kids and us private jets and still not put a dent in his account. You think they’re gonna care, we didn't buy them a dyson or something.
Nico
Does that mean you’re coming?
Lake
I told you, I’m working. Maybe once I get off later but I’m not out until midnight.
Ever
We’re going. Everyone else will be there too. I don’t want to spend Christmas Eve in the dark. Besides, the Mulvaneys are more entertaining than any TV show and my littles are all there anyway.
Shiloh
Do the Mulvaneys know you claim ownership of their children?
Ever
They love me. Everyone loves me.
Arsen
It is true. Everyone does love him.
Levi
Yeah.
Cree
Definitely.
Lake
That’s why he gets away with murder.
Nico
We’re definitely going? Like I should use my remaining battery on my phone to use the flashlight to pack? I don’t want us to be the only ones who show. That would be weird.
Shiloh
The power could come back on soon though, right?
Mal
Do you really want to risk it?
Silas
I am stuck here at the hostel. I can’t just leave all the kids alone.
But we have a generator. If you want to listen to a bunch of teens and twenty-somethings bitch and moan about their dead cell phones and lack of entertainment under what could only generously be called ‘mood lighting’ you’re welcome to join us here.
Nico
Hmm, that does sound enticing but I think I’ll spend the night eating rich-people food and sleeping in a rich-people bed or stay at the hostel. That is a hard decision.
Lake
How are you guys even gonna get there? Are the buses running and if they are, do they go anywhere near the Mulvaneys?
Arsen
Ever and I will drive. We could probably fit one more person. But Coe said Thomas would send a van to pick us up so we didn’t have to drive if we just let Freckles know.
Nico
So it's agreed? We’re all going? Minus Seven and Silas anyway?
Levi
We’re down. It’s better than sitting in the dark. We’ll need a ride though.
Shiloh
Cree? Are you coming?
Cree
…
SEPARATE CHAT
Cree
Did your power go out?
Jordan
We’re at the mansion, so I’m not sure. Yours?
Cree
Yeah. The whole city is dark.
Jordan
Spooky.
Cree
You’re with Thomas?
Jordan
Yeah, Matty and I just got here.
Cree
Thomas invited us to come stay there.
Jordan
Does that mean you’re coming?
Cree
Does that mean you want me to?
Jordan
Duh. Matty is playing with the micro-Mulvaneys which is cool and all. I support his journey to get to know his family and whatever, but I already have too many siblings.
Cree
Is that why you didn’t go home?
Jordan
No. Well, a little, I guess. I probably didn’t go home for the same reason you didn’t. My parents don’t want me there.
Cree
I’m no contact with my parents.
Jordan
Sorry. Did I know that? Sorry if I did.
Cree
It’s not a big deal. They wanted to forget I existed. I just made it easy for them.
Jordan
They suck.
So are you gonna come see me?
Cree
Is that what I’m doing?
Jordan
I don’t know. Would you be coming if I wasn’t here?
Cree
No, probably not. I’d probably go hang out with Lake at his job and hope the power came back on.
Jordan
Then you’re coming cause I’m here. Right? That’s what you said.
Cree
I guess I am. Yeah.
GROUP CHAT
Cree
Yeah, I’ll be there. I need a ride.
Arsen
We’re on the way. We’ll swing by and get you.
PRIVATE CHAT
Jordan
Do you have a crush on me?
Cree
I think the answer to that is pretty obvious.
Jordan
Can you say it anyway? I don’t do well with ambiguity.
Cree
I have a crush on you.
Jordan
Oh, my God. Stop. You do?
Cree
Jordan
Okay, fine. I have a little crush on you too. Happy?
Cree
Jordan
When you get here do you want to sneak off and watch one of those movies you told me about?
Cree
You wanna watch a movie about the birth of the antichrist on Christmas Eve?
Jordan
What, does that offend you?
Cree
I’m hard to offend.
Besides, wasn’t Jesus actually born in March or something?
This is just a capitalist consumer-driven corruption of an ancient pagan solstice fertility holiday that Constantine used to trick Pagans into thinking a monotheistic religion was somehow far groovier than the one where they celebrated with orgies and shit.
Your mind is a fascinating place.
Jordan
Actually I read it off of a coffee mug.
Cree
You read all of that off a coffee mug?
Jordan
What? Coffee mugs can be educational too.
Cree
So it seems.
Jordan
If tomorrow’s Mulvaney Christmas celebration ended in an orgy, wouldn’t you RSVP faster or would you skip it?
Cree
Would I skip a Mulvaney orgy? Is that what you’re asking me?
Jordan
What? It's a valid question.
Cree
It’s a valid question? Whether I want to have group sex with an entire family? That sounds exhausting honestly.
Jordan
Sigh. So we won’t be campaigning for Christmas orgies going forward? Or just no Christmas orgies with the Mulvaneys? Be specific.
Cree
Not trying to yuk your yum but I don’t think I’m the orgy type.
Jordan
Bummer.
Cree
Are you that eager to sleep with the Mulvaneys or are you just pro-orgies in general?
Jordan
I’m not really sure. Like, when you think about it, it sounds kind of sexy and like the core four make it seem like hot or whatever, but I’m also the jealous type so I don’t know if I could watch someone else have sex with you like right in front of me.
Cree
You’d be jealous of me?
Jordan
No, over you.
Cree
You’d be jealous over me? Like, you don’t want me sleeping with other people?
Jordan
Well, yeah. In this fictional scenario you’re my boyfriend and I’m not a 19 year old untouchable virgin.
Cree
Are we gonna just skate past the fact that you just told me you’re a virgin?
Jordan
We don’t have to skate. We can drive, surf, backflip. Whatever mode of transportation you want. Just don’t go telling everyone that. I have a reputation to protect.
Cree
You have a reputation? With who exactly?
Jordan
Wow. Way to call me friendless.
Cree
Jordan
Fine. Matty, I guess.
Cree
Matty doesn’t know you’re a virgin, but I do?
Jordan
Well, I thought you’d be less judgey about it, but now I can’t tell.
Cree
Trust me, I’m not judging. I’m just shocked, I guess.
Jordan
Why? Do I look slutty? You’d be shocked how unfuckable guys find me.
Cree
I can’t imagine anyone finding you unfuckable.
Jordan
I’m hot but annoying.
Cree
You’re not annoying.
Jordan
No, it’s true. I’m super annoying. I probably annoy the shit out of you and we only text every now and again.
Cree
You don’t annoy me. I’m just not a talkative person.
Jordan
You talk to me.
Cree
Yeah, I guess I do.
Jordan
Uh, to be clear, I have done other things. Like, I’m not a total newb or anything. This isn’t a never been kissed situation. I’ve just never sealed the deal. You know?
Cree
Okay.
Jordan
Don’t just say okay like that. It sounds judgey and I will be riddled with anxiety until I see you.
Cree
I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to say. It would be easier to talk about this in person.
Jordan
But you still want to talk to me?
Cree
Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you?
Jordan
I don’t know. If you were like looking for a Christmas Eve hookup or whatever? Like, I’m down, but I just wanted to manage your expectations.
Cree
There’s so much to unpack here. One: I wasn’t looking for a ‘Christmas Eve hookup’. Two: If I was, I wouldn’t care about your level of experience. Three: I don’t do hookups.
Jordan
Ever?
Cree
Not anymore.
Jordan
But you used to?
Cree
When I was a kid, I used to hookup cause it seemed like what I was supposed to do, but I really didn’t like it. I want sex to mean something.
Jordan
Swoon.
Cree
Are you making fun of me now?
Jordan
No, I’m kind of falling in love with you.
Cree
Someone like you would probably find someone like me super boring in the long run.
Jordan
Someone like me? Meaning what?
Cree
You…kinda have a larger than life personality. You’re a rock star. I’m boring in comparison.
Jordan
Would I like to be a rock star? Sure. Will I ever be? Probably not. But even if I was, I wouldn’t want all that chaos to follow me home. My whole life is chaotic enough. I would want peace. Do you know how loud my house was growing up? You’d probably get sick of me first. I never stop yapping.
Cree
I noticed.
Jordan
Wow. Now I’m definitely not hooking up with you in Thomas Mulvaney’s theater room.
Cree
Jordan
Well, if you’re that broken up about it, I’ll make out with you or something.
Cree
Arsen is here to get me. See you soon, rock star.