Chapter 4
4
RAINN
I glance down and my stomach swoops. I’m not a fan of heights. “What the hell are we doing here?”
Mac leans over the edge and panic shoots through me. I grab his arm to pull him to safety, and he laughs. “This was your idea.”
“Like hell.” As if I’d choose to be a hundred and fifteen feet in the air, packed into a metal tower with thousands of people. Or maybe just a hundred or so, but it feels like thousands. I glare at Holly. This is her fault.
She squeezes my arm. “Poor Rainn.” And then she laughs. “You said this looked like fun.”
“Fun for other people.” Like Holly, Cher, and Sally Jo. But I can’t tell her I was trying to get rid of them. That I wanted some alone time with Mac so we could plan. And in no way did I say I wanted to zip line over the Vegas strip. The old Vegas strip, but still.
Everyone thought it was a great idea. Even Mac. The traitor. He knows I’m not a fan of heights. The top loft of the barn during haying season is as high as I need to be. Not climbing up to the top of a tower so I can throw myself off. My stomach twists in knots and my shoulders ache, but at least my headache is gone.
I’m fucking tired of doing things I don’t want to do. Mac tells people no. Not usually me, but other people. Anytime I try to tell someone no, this pressure builds in my chest and the words get stuck. I hate disappointing people. I’m not sure who to blame for that. My mom? She was wonderful. Sweet. Loving. Completely different from my father. Life was great. Until she broke up with the guy she was seeing and started spending more time in her craft room.
As a kid, I’d thought it was something we’d done. So I took care of everything. Made sure Zye and I got to school on time. Made sure he got fed. And if Mom wouldn’t get out of bed and Zye was sad, I’d borrow the car—without permission or a license—and take him to the beach. Or what counted as a beach in Missouri. It cheered him up. It was my job to take care of my brother and make him happy. To make my mom happy.
But I obviously failed them both. Mom dropped us off at our respective dads’ houses so she could go on a cruise for her birthday. It’s been ten years. I’ve given up hope she’ll ever return.
And four months ago was the first time I saw my brother in all that time.
I’m proud of how Zye turned out. He’s a wedding planner in Mule Creek. No thanks to me or Mom. Zye is fierce and independent. I convinced Cher to use him as our wedding planner to help his business. And because I missed him. Look how that turned out.
The structure sways. I grab Mac’s arm and then immediately let go. I hate the awkwardness between us. Or maybe it’s just me because Mac puts a hand on my back, and I can’t resist leaning into him and his warmth. It’s freezing this high up.
“The line is moving.” He nods at the girls and the gap between us. I ignore the glances Sally Jo throws back at us. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m sure no one has died from this.” Mostly because I googled it already.
His chuckle sends sparks of awareness through me. His hand reaches up to squeeze the back of my neck.
Mac pulling me close and wrapping his arms around me. The familiar scent of his aftershave and the not-so-familiar scent of alcohol. His chuckle in my ear. “Go to sleep, husband. Stop worrying. I’m gonna take care of you. I promise.”
Did that really happen? Or did I dream it?
Doesn’t matter. We were both drunk. And I’d never risk my friendship with Mac for something that won’t work out anyway.
“It’s gonna be okay, Doc. Stop worrying.” Mac smiles, his fingers moving down my back as he guides me forward. I don’t hate the nickname, even though I’m not a doctor yet. He likes calling me that. It’s an encouragement to make it through med school.
“I’m fine.”
Except, we reach the top of the tower, and holy shit. I’m not fine. The tower sways and I hold on to Mac. Five lanes lead to the front, where attendants strap people into harnesses and shoot them off the tower. I slap a hand over my mouth to keep the bile in as my nerves somersault through my body.
“I can’t do this.” I glance behind me but there are people everywhere and no way out. The stairs leading down are packed. “Mac—I can’t.”
“It looks scary, but I swear, it’s fine. You’ve got this.”
I shake my head. Black spots blur my vision as the panic threatens to take over.
He cups my face and stares into my eyes. “Trust me.” He’s so sure. Mac would never let anything or anyone hurt me. “Okay?”
I take a deep breath. The panic lessens, and I nod. He smiles as if he’s proud of me, and my heart skips a beat or two. “Can you go first?”
“You sure?” Is he afraid I’ll make a run for it after he goes? Probably, but it’s a long way back down those stairs. The quickest way off this metal death trap is through the air.
“Yeah. I’m good.”
The guy motions him forward and into the chute. Mac jokes with him as he gets strapped into the harness, making it look so easy. When it’s his turn, the guy casually shoots my best friend off the tower. My stomach plummets along with Mac. I can’t see anything from here, but there’s no screaming. Correction. No screaming from Mac. A girl a few down from him screams as she shoots out. And then she’s laughing.
“Next?”
Oh fuck. I smile at the guy—well…I try to—as I climb in and lie down so he can strap the harness around me. The only thing between me and my certain death is a flap shielding the Vegas strip and the zip liners from my view. My stomach revolts again as panic surges through me. I push myself up. “I can’t do this.”
“Oh, you’re doing this.” At the violent shake of my head, he adds, “Look, buddy, it’s too late to change your mind.”
He’s right. No way are they going to let me get off now. I lie back, resigned to my fate. I’ve wanted to get married ever since I was a kid. One person who is always there, agreeing to be with me forever. Sure, divorces happen. But to have someone commit their life to being with me? Is that why I insisted on wearing my wedding ring?
At least if I die right here on the Vegas strip, I’ll die as Mac’s husband. He won’t be able to leave me. I let out a half-sob, half-laugh, and the guy tugs on my straps.
“You’re going to be fine, buddy. Are you ready?”
“No.”
He laughs as the flap goes up, and I know it’s time. He shows me how to push off—another added torture—and then I’m shooting off the tower into the Vegas sky.
I’m suddenly airborne with the sky above and the crowd below. People mill around on the street as I fly over them. It’s exhilarating and not as scary as I anticipated. I’m strapped in from my neck to my ankles. The zip line isn’t as fast as I thought it’d be, and next to me, a woman slows down and starts going backward. I zip past her, holding my arms out and keeping my eyes forward. A boy on the ground waves, and I wave back. A laugh escapes me as I zoom over the heads of the crowd and a stage with an eighties hair band playing “Sweet Child of Mine.” The music seems to push me forward to the finish line.
Okay, there’s no finish line. Just another attendant. This one unbuckles me as soon as I land. When the last strap is undone, I slide out of the harness. Mac stands in a crowd of people, waiting with a wide grin on his handsome face.
“That was amazing.” I grab him, needing to feel grounded.
“You did it!” His arms tighten around me, and for a moment, everything feels right. Perfect. And then we get jostled by the crowd and he lets go. A big guy with long hair and a spiked collar glares at me as he moves past.
“Can we do it again?” The rush of excitement pushes all my fears away, and I want more of it.
“Are you crazy?” Cher joins us and waves at the tower. “You want to wait another hour in line?”
Right. I forgot that part.
“Let’s eat.” Holly points to a diner down the street. “I’ve heard good things about this place. And I’m starving.”
As we weave through the crowd, Cher grabs my arm, and I slow down. “I’ve gotten five texts from Zye this morning.”
“Why is he texting you?”
“My guess? You aren’t responding.”
“I texted him back. He asked how it was going. I said fine.”
She shakes her head.
“What did you tell him?”
Her mouth twists in a mischievous grin. “I said Holly and I were off doing stuff without you guys.”
“You didn’t need to do that.”
“He was going to call. Lying by text is easier. I didn’t want to accidentally spill the good news.”
“Did you…tell anyone else?” I glance at the others. They’re almost to the restaurant. Holly points at something. Sally Jo takes Mac’s arm as they walk. After a second, he moves her arm.
Cher bumps my shoulder. “No, I didn’t tell them. Don’t worry, I can be discrete.”
I shake my head as we reach the entrance to the restaurant. The others are already inside.
The Black & Blue Diner lives up to its name with black booths and blue LED lighting. There’s also a long counter lined with black stools. We find the table our friends snagged but Holly is nowhere in sight. Mac and Sally Jo are sitting close together and whispering to each other. Tearing them apart might cause a scene, so I ignore them and sit in the chair across from Cher.
“I’ll be right back,” Cher says, squeezing my shoulder. She heads toward the restrooms.
Sally Jo is also on her feet. “Just think about it.” Then she’s gone too.
I’m used to the girls going in packs to the restroom, and in this instance, I’m glad to have a moment with Mac.
“Hey.” I catch his gaze. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
I cross my arms and wait.
He sighs. “Sally Jo. You know how she is.”
“What does she want, Mac?”
He cracks his knuckles. “She wants to get back together.”