Chapter 8
8
RAINN
What the hell? What the ever-loving fucking hell just happened? I didn’t mind Mac getting a little possessive. A little jealous of Tad. Or the way Mac had stared at my ass when I made that shot.
But his denial pissed me the hell off. If he’s so straight— I decide to lead with that. As soon as the back door shuts, I turn on him. “It’s always the same, Mac. I’m straight. Not into guys. Then why the hell were you staring at my ass? And,” I add before he can respond because this has been building over the last week…maybe longer, “what about Vegas?”
He glances around with wide eyes. Right. I didn’t check if anyone was around. “Tad just wanted to—you know.”
“Fuck me? So?”
He huffs. “Are you into him?”
“Why does it matter?”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
“Jesus, Mac. He’s a cute guy with a dick. I happen to like cute guys with dicks. Preferably up my ass.”
His mouth drops open. Fuck. I took it too far. “Mac, listen…”
But he shakes his head. “Fine.” He turns and grabs the screen door. But he doesn’t open it or move.
“Mac.” I hate fighting with him.
He whips around and confronts me. Hands on his hips. Eyes flashing. And it’s hotter than anything Tad had to say to me. “No, I lied. It’s not fine. Do you know why, Rainn? Because you’re married. And that may not mean anything to you?—”
“Hold on?—”
But he’s worked himself up. “But those vows mean something to me.”
“You don’t even remember saying them. Or what they were.”
He chokes back his words and takes a breath. And another. He lowers his voice. “Do you want me to find some girl to sleep with while we’re married?”
“No.” Even the thought of it—fuck no.
“Can we please agree then that until we get the annulment or divorce or whatever it takes, we won’t sleep with anyone else?”
“Only each other?” I grin. “Sure. I agree.”
“No. I mean, we can’t, Rainn. The annulment. And—” But he shakes his head. This is good because if the next words out of his mouth had been I’m straight, it might have put me over the edge.
“That leaves us with celibacy and jerking off.” And yes, I say it just to see the flush of red on his cheeks.
“Stop being a jerk.”
“I’m frustrated, Mac.” I lower my voice. “I already told you I’m attracted to you.” I want you so damn much . “So maybe don’t act like a jealous husband around the guy with the biggest mouth in town.”
He glares, and I realize what I said, “I’m talking about the guy gossiping. Not giving blowjobs.”
He lifts his hands and drops them. “So what do we do now?”
I hesitate. It’s the right thing, but I don’t want to do it. “Maybe we should cool it. Not hang out for a while.”
“Are you kidding?” His eyes flash with hurt. Oh shit.
“It’s hard to be around you and not be obvious. I need some time.”
“Fine. But no sleeping around. Not with Tad or anyone.”
Telling him I only want him wouldn’t alleviate his worry. But fuck, I don’t want Tad. Or anyone else. I just want Mac.
The rest of the week is rough. We still text, and Mac sends me funny jokes that he finds. But we don’t meet in person until Friday. I already regret everything. I can’t go without Mac, so I’m going to have to figure this out.
Hell, I hid my crush for years, but knowing Mac is attracted to me, even though he doesn’t want to be, sets my body on fire. But I can manage it. I have to.
Mac has been driving his mom’s car since he left his in KC, and it’s already there when I arrive. I jog up the steps to his sister’s law office, trying to keep the smile off my face. Don’t act like a freak. Like you miss the hell out of him. The lobby is small, with a low table and several maroon chairs. Booker & McVay Law Firm is in black letters on the wall. The reception desk holds business cards and flyers for the fall back-to-school fair. I ring the bell on the counter, and Silvia, an older woman with silver hair, oversized turquoise glasses, and a quick smile, steps out from the adjoining room to greet me.
“Welcome home, Rainn.” Her smile drops, and she lowers her voice. “I heard about your wedding.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Does the entire town know? My heart thuds painfully. My dad? I swallow my panic and my breakfast. Throwing up in Casey’s office would not go well for me. “Um…yeah, well.”
A clap on my back startles me. “Rainn marrying Cher wasn’t meant to be.” Mac gives me a pointed look.
Right. Cher. I laugh, giddy with relief, and they both stare at me. “Sorry. Just thinking about the emus.”
Silvia frowns. Which tells me she did not watch the live stream of the wedding or the many, many videos circulating after. “There were emus at the wedding, pecking everyone and trying to eat Cher’s dress.”
“Oh. That’s an odd choice.”
I laugh again, and Mac grabs my arm. “Come on. Casey only has a few minutes.”
As we go down the hall to his sister’s office, he leans closer. “What happened to your poker face?”
“Lost it in Vegas. Not the only thing I lost.” I mumble the last part.
“Your freedom?” His voice sounds funny.
The correct answer is my heart, but the one I give him is equally true. “My sanity.”
He grins, and I get lost for a second. It’s been a long few days without him.
Casey steps out of her office, looking professional in gray slacks and a red blouse. But all I see is the nineteen-year-old badass showing Mac and me how to throw a punch. “This needs to be quick, boys.” She leads us into her office with a shake of her head. “What have you dumb shits gotten yourselves into now?”