Chapter 13
Thought of the day…
You can’t control everything, but you can control who you let in.
(And this means your heart, your door, and your knickers.)
Tommy’s tone was deadly serious and his expression so intense that I was struck mute.
He returned to the sofa and sat, leaning forward and balancing his elbows on his knees. ‘You trust me, right?’
Did I? Did I trust Tommy?
The answer that immediately came to mind was yes. He’d never given me any reason not to.
‘Of course,’ I replied in a half-whisper.
‘Only…’ I added – buying time for my mind to catch up.
I searched my memories of Julian in similar situations.
Had there ever been clues that he was involved in something he shouldn’t have been?
‘Are you sure it’s not… I don’t know, just normal business stuff?
’ I asked, clinging to hope. ‘I’ve been on heated calls before and that was simply me standing my ground, refusing to be taken advantage of.
Perhaps Julian was drawing a line in the sand. ’
‘It’s more than that. Once I suspected that something was untoward, I’ve kept a sharp eye on things.’
‘And?’
He paused, his lips disappearing between his teeth.
‘There have been other instances – Julian leaving staff briefings to take urgent phone calls – that’s happened several times now.
And a few days ago, the helicopter arrived in the dead of night then left again a few minutes later.
The next morning, Julian missed a meeting with me, Elsa, and Niki and no one saw him for hours. We think he was on that helicopter.’
‘But there could be a reasonable explanation for that,’ I said, ignoring the sick feeling in my stomach. ‘Maybe you’re misinterpreting things.’
‘Well, it’s not just me, Ally. And I have tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but then two nights ago, he had the entire staff sign non-disclosure agreements.’
I frowned. ‘Two nights ago? But you’ve been working here for weeks. That’s…’
‘Odd, right? And when I asked him about it afterwards, he was annoyed. He brushed me off with “standard procedure”, which, of course, it isn’t.’
So that explained the tension between them in the bar, but I was still clinging to the idea that there might be some logical explanation for all this.
‘Look, I debated saying anything at all,’ Tommy continued. ‘I mean, you’re only here for a few more days.’
‘Two. It’s supposed to be two more days.’
‘Exactly.’ He rolled his glass between his hands, then took a sip.
‘So why bother telling me at all then? Why not let me sail off into the sunset blindly unaware?’ But before he could answer, it hit me. ‘Oh god, you think something’s about to implode, don’t you? Is it Aetheria?’ I asked, leaning in, my eyes fixed on his.
‘I’m not completely sure, but if you endorse the resort and it all goes pear-shaped, then it could have an—’
‘—adverse impact on Divorced Diva,’ I said, talking over him.
‘Yes.’
We were both quiet for a moment.
Tommy wouldn’t exaggerate his concerns – I believed that – but there was the possibility he was wrong. Even he’d said he wasn’t positive. But if he was right, then perhaps I should consider cancelling the partnership. Or at least postponing until I knew more.
This sort of thing had only happened once before, with a new fragrance line.
Just after it launched, one of the founders was charged with using the fragrance company as a front for fraud.
We pulled the Divorced Diva endorsement straight away, but the damage was done, and we lost a substantial number of followers – and several partners severed ties with us. I’d hate for that to happen again.
But what about Julian? If he was in trouble, I couldn’t just abandon him. And there was Tommy and the other staff to consider…
‘What are you going to do?’ I asked.
‘I’m going to keep an eye on things, and if it comes to it, I’ll leave.’
‘You mean you and Elsa, right?’
‘Sorry? Oh, yes – Elsa too.’
‘You know, when you said you had something important to tell me, I thought it was about her.’
He looked away, not replying.
‘So, how long have you two been a couple?’ I asked.
It wasn’t courage asking the hardest question of all – it was masochism. Like stabbing myself in the thigh with a sharp pencil just to see if it hurt. It did.
‘Ally.’ Tommy sighed my name as if it pained him to utter it out loud. But that was enough – it told me everything I needed to know. The subject of Elsa was off limits. It must have been serious between them.
‘Can I ask something else?’
His expression told me he thought it was about Elsa.
‘No, not about her,’ I said with a shake of my head.
‘All right then.’
‘Just… considering everything that’s going on, there were times today when you seemed to be enjoying yourself – genuinely.’
‘That’s not a question,’ he said evenly.
‘Okay then, how? If you’re so worried about Julian and Aetheria and me, then how can you pretend everything’s right as rain?’
He stared at me. ‘I wasn’t pretending.’
‘Then what?’
‘I was momentarily distracted.’
Well, that wasn’t the answer I was expecting.
‘Distracted?’ I scoffed. ‘By what? A charming octogenarian and some fancy olive oil?’
‘No, Ally, by you.’
I wasn’t expecting that either.
‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said tha—’ He interrupted himself to expel a loud breath, then tossed back the rest of the brandy. And before I knew what was happening, he got up and strode towards the door.
‘What are you doing?’ I asked inanely. It was obvious he was leaving, but I didn’t want him to – not before he explained what he’d meant. ‘Tommy.’
He hesitated in the entry, and I dashed off the sofa, stopping just short of where he stood with his back to me.
‘What did you mean by that?’ I pleaded hoarsely.
Tension rippled across his shoulders and his head dropped, but he didn’t leave. I reached for him, lightly resting a hand on his broad back.
I’d never been the sort of woman to pursue a man who was in a relationship – that ethos was ingrained in me, a line I would never cross.
But this was Tommy. And if he was feeling even a fraction of what I was…
One day, I might hate myself for being complicit in his infidelity. But if I didn’t press him for an answer, I’d hate myself anyway for the lifetime of what ifs? that would follow.
‘Tommy?’
He spun around so abruptly, I took half a step back. He peered down at me, his eyes almost black in the dim light. They searched mine and I felt the pull of his gaze so intensely, I closed the gap between us without realising it.
‘Fuck, Ally,’ he said and a heartbeat later, he dipped his head, his mouth crashing against mine.
His hands landed on my waist and he pulled me closer, pressing my body against his. I stood on tiptoes and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, my fingers entwining in his thick hair.
His kiss was hungry, as if he wanted to devour me, and every nerve ending in my body was alight with want. My tongue swirled inside his mouth, jockeying with his. He tasted of the Metaxa, like dried figs and honey and vanilla.
In a single movement, he hoisted me in the air – a move that was both familiar and thrilling – and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to the sofa.
He lowered me onto it, bearing the weight of us both with one arm, our kiss still unbroken.
His body hovered above mine for several aching seconds until I pulled him onto me, the weight of him almost too much, but also not enough.
I wanted more. I wanted his bare skin against mine, I wanted his hand between my legs, I wanted his mouth on my nipples, I wanted him inside me.
But I’d also never been kissed like that before – not even by Tommy.
A delectable abyss of a kiss, igniting my insides, electrifying my skin, pulsing between my thighs.
I’d never climaxed from just a kiss before – not without a helping hand (so to speak) – but I was close, and we were both still fully clothed.
I ground my pelvis against his, feeling his ramrod erection through his jeans, every sensation, every tingle intensifying.
One of his hands slid beneath me, slipping under my tank top, his fingertips searing my skin as they dug into my flesh, clasping my body to his.
My fingers still tangled in his hair, I tugged gently and he groaned into my mouth.
That groan – that guttural Tommy groan that flipped my insides upside down.
It was a tipping point, and I broke the kiss to throw my head back.
Tommy peppered fervent kisses along my jawline, nestling just below my ear – my special spot, one he knew well.
He kissed me there, his lips sending a jolt of pleasure to my centre.
‘You’re so close, baby,’ he whispered, and shivers rippled over my skin.
I rocked my hips against him, pleasure building as he kissed and nibbled at my neck.
‘Oh god, oh god, Tommy, I’m going to—’
The orgasm ripped through me, sweetly decimating me as my body shook with its intensity. As it started to ebb away, I inhaled deeply and when my breathing steadied, my eyes flitted open to see Tommy looking down at me, his face the picture of wonder.
‘Fuck, Ally,’ he said again, his lips curling into a smile.
I laughed – not because it was funny, just something my body does at times from the release. He shifted lower to rest his cheek on my collarbone, his face turned away from me, then pulled his hand from under me, his fingertips trailing lazily along my thigh. I held him to me, playing with his hair.
I never wanted to let him go.
I closed my eyes again, content just to lie there with him, knowing that if I spoke, it would break the spell.
Baby, I mused. He’d called me baby. It could have been habit – it’s what we called each other when we were together – but then again, that was years ago. Maybe he’d meant it, maybe this was a sign that he wanted us to start over.
I was about to suggest we move to the bedroom, take our time with each other, make love properly and let me pleasure him.
But then he gulped – I felt it as well as heard it – and before I could stop it, he’d pushed himself up and climbed off me.
He sat heavily on the end of the sofa, staring into space, and frowned.
I felt naked – exposed – even though I was fully clothed.
This meant something – it had to, given our history. And it changed everything between us – all the carefully constructed walls and polite discourse, all the self-preservation measures.
No wonder I felt exposed – I was. Stripped bare, emotionally speaking. Because I wanted him, not just to sleep with him, but him. I wanted Tommy. And now that I’d had a taste of what I’d missed – literally – I could never un-want him again.
But judging by Tommy’s reaction, he didn’t feel the same.
I stared at his profile until he finally looked at me. He smiled, but it was a sad smile.
‘I—’
‘Don’t say you shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want to hear it,’ I told him.
His lips parted as if he was about to protest, but he didn’t say anything else. He just gave me that sad smile again, then stood and walked purposefully towards the door.
He opened it, then turned, lingering in the doorway for a moment. ‘Goodnight, Ally. Think about what I said.’
Then he left.
The bastard.
Think about what I said?
Which part, Tommy? The part where you told me that hubby number three might be caught up in some shady shit, or the part where you said, Fuck, Ally, then kissed me harder than you ever have before? Or what about calling me baby? Should I be thinking about that?
‘Gah!’ I exclaimed to the empty room.
I sat up, planting my feet on the floor, then reached for the rest of my brandy. I downed it in two gulps, letting it burn my throat – an oddly satisfying penance for making out with my ex like a randy teen.
And one thing was for sure: I was not going anywhere. I might even extend my stay on Aetheria!
Because if Julian was caught up in something ‘nefarious’, as Tommy had called it, then he might need my help.
It was unfathomable that he’d become an evil mastermind in the years since our divorce.
More likely, he’d slipped up and the situation had escalated to the point of no return.
I was not about to abandon him in his time of need.
How I raised my concerns was another matter, one I’d have to navigate carefully. Julian was a proud man; he’d never liked asking for help. Or accepting it.
And then there was Tommy.
Whatever else was going on, I couldn’t ignore what had happened between us. He might have regretted it, but it hadn’t been one-sided – I was certain he’d felt it too. Which meant… what exactly?
I had to stay on Aetheria long enough to find out.