Chapter 12 Sophie #2
I shake my head, because he’s told me a hundred times he loves me. Not in the way I’ve ever wanted to hear it, but…
Something in the tone of his voice as he says it now is different. It feels like he is saying it the way I’ve always wanted to hear it, but that can’t be.
It has to be the alcohol or melancholy, or…something.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean, Elijah,” I say, still cognizant of his hand on my wrist, of the inches closing between us.
“But I do,” he says, his dark eyes imploring mine.
I look into his eyes, seeing the glimmer of truth there.
“Kiss me,” he says solidly.
I shake my head because clearly he’s lost his mind. “Elijah…”
“I know the first time was an accident. You didn’t mean it, but I did.
” He licks his lips, his thumb brushing over the vein in my wrist. “So kiss me if you don’t believe me.
Kiss me right now, and if you feel nothing, I’ll leave you alone and we’ll never speak of this again.
You can go back to your life after this, and I’ll go back to mine and… ”
I hear his plea like an angel hears a prayer. The desperation, the need, the longing in his voice is so evident it makes my heart ache.
And maybe that’s what makes me stop and question the validity of his statement.
The band drones on in the background, singing kiss me like some desperate chant.
“Promise?” I ask as I lean into his space.
“Promise,” he whispers against my lips. I lick them, realizing the taste of Matthew has dissolved like sugar on my tongue.
I should not kiss Elijah. The first time was bad enough, not to mention I’m racking up points on my kiss card and we’re damn near full.
But the aching desire inside of me needs to know the truth. Last time, I was drunk. Tonight, I’m not. Two glasses of wine over the course of a few hours isn’t enough to impair me enough to do something I wouldn’t do.
Especially when it comes to this.
To the man who stole my heart so many years ago…
The first man who stole my heart.
So I do what I know I shouldn’t. I kiss Elijah Brecker, if only to prove a point. To him, to myself, to the moon in the sky. I kiss him softly, afraid to feel the truth.
But Elijah doesn’t leave me in the dark. His mouth moves slowly against mine. He kisses me delicately, carefully. Lovingly.
He pulls me closer, settling his hands on my neck, his fingers gliding through my hair.
I’m still damp from the water and I have half a mind to push off of him because I don’t want to get him wet.
But I don’t push him away. My hands settle around his neck and I pull him closer. I need more of this. More of him.
And like the mind reader he is, he opens my mouth, inviting my tongue against his. He kisses me like I imagine every woman wants to be kissed.
Reverently.
My heart beats faster as he deepens the kiss, and it’s so different than before, but also…
I feel that same warmth. That same burgeoning flame.
I feel everything he can’t say. Every bit of his sorrow, his pain.
His love.
My eyes water as I tremble in his grasp because all those familiar feelings—the good and bad—come rising to the surface. I grip his collar tight as I melt into his kiss, and then I break away.
His eyes are wistful. Hopeful.
And then I see him.
Over Elijah’s shoulder, at the edge of the bar. Watching us.
Benny.
I’m torn between staying in Elijah’s familiar embrace and chasing down this oversized pain in the ass who doesn’t know when to let up. He’s been weird since this morning. Well, technically, last night.
Actually, the more I think about it, he’s been weird since I got home.
Elijah turns around, noticing Benny as well. “Shit,” he says. “You need to go?”
I debate telling him no, but I also know that with the way Benny’s looking at me…I need to talk to him. Just because we had a…moment of weakness…does not give him the right to act like this. All possessive and stalker-ish.
Besides, I don’t need him throwing the vibe off this weekend. In just two days, I’m going to have to walk down the aisle with this man and I don’t need that to be awkward.
And it’s certainly heading into awkward territory right now.
Which is why I need to tell Benny how it’s going to be. He thinks he can boss me around and tell me what to do, and act like a damn grumpy bear, he’s got another thing coming.
“Yeah,” I say, letting my fingers twine in Elijah’s hair. “But I wish I didn’t.”
Elijah gives me a soft smile. “Just tell me one thing before you go.”
I look back at him. “What?”
“Do you believe me, now?” he asks, his voice almost a whisper.
I close my eyes letting my forehead fall against his.
“Can you feel how much I fucking love you?” His words are so soft I barely hear them.
I nod, trying to remember to breathe. “Yes.” My voice shakes as I regretfully push him away.
He nods. “Go. We can talk later.”
I move toward Benny and immediately he slips through the crowd, aggravating me once more. I pick up the pace, trying to run after him, but once again I lose him. I growl in frustration, hurrying to the elevator, just missing it as it closes with him in it.
When I get up to our level, I practically sprint down the hall, swiping my card and opening the door in haste.
“Benjamin Anderson, I—”
My words fade into the ether as I see Benny, naked on the bed, his thick, pierced cock in his hand. He lets out a heady moan as he turns to look at me.
“Oh, there you are, kitten. Thought you’d never make it.”
The nerve of this man. I want to scream. I want to tear into him, tell him he’s such a fucking ass, and then I want to grab my stuff and slam the door in his face.
But I also can’t take my eyes off of him, sprawled out across the bed. I can’t stop staring at how slowly he strokes his cock, his piercing gleaming in the light.
Instead of telling him to fuck off, I ask, “Have you been following me all night?”
He smirks at me. “Yes.”
He doesn’t deny it, and while that pisses me off, it also makes my insides flutter.
“What the fuck?” I bite out, crossing my arms. “What is your problem?”
I force my gaze to meet his as he continues his soft, slow strokes. His cock begs to be stared at, but I refuse to look because I know if I do…I won’t be able to look away.
“You said this wouldn’t happen again.”
“On the contrary, princess. I said what happened between us wouldn’t happen again.”
I feel heat rising in me like a volcano.
Benny smirks. “You can leave. Door’s right there.”
I look from him to my open suitcase, then back at him.
“How much did you see?” I ask, because I need to know.
I just…need to know.
“Saw Matthew finally got his cock sucked,” he says with a shrug. “Saw him make you come. Twice. Gotta say I’m kinda proud of the kid, but…” His gaze holds me steady. “No one makes you come but me.”
I scoff, turning around. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You think you can just…make me come like that, with your pussy clenched around my fucking fingers, and I’ll just let you go?” He chuckles darkly. “Oh, kitten, you got a lot to learn about obedience and I’m going to enjoy breaking you.”
“I’m not obeying shit,” I say. “You don’t control me, Benny. You never did, you—”
He slides his fingers across his piercing, picking his fingers up to show the sticky trail of precum as he lets out another chuckle. “You’re a terrible liar, Sophia.”
I turn around, because I can’t do this right now. I can’t do this with him, I can’t—
“Where do you think you’re going, little kitten?” he purrs, his voice smooth and warm and making my insides flutter.
“You said—”
I feel him before I see him. His aura is heavy, thick, and he smells like campfires and sex.
It’s a heady cocktail.
“You running to Matty? Or are you going to tattle on me to Eli? Tell him how bad I’ve been?” He leans into my space, pushing me back against the wall. “Get him all pissed off?”
“What do you care what I do? Huh?” I snap. “Just because we had a…moment of weakness…doesn’t mean you own me.”
I say the words but they don’t have any weight. They’re flimsy and hopeless and we both know it. Because as far as I’m concerned, Benny has always owned me. Since that very first time I touched myself. I’ve just never admitted that to anyone and I’m not about to admit it to him of all people.
I know better than to give him that kind of power over me. Something tells me it wouldn’t end well.
Or maybe that’s what’s so appealing…
Because on some deeper level, I know Benny would absolutely wreck me.
“I saw you with Eli too. Kissing him. Running your hands all over him. You want him too, don’t you?”
My back hits the wall as he leans in closer to me. So close I can feel the heat of his breath on my skin and it makes my skin prickle with goose bumps. So close I can smell the faint scent of hotel soap and that crisp, masculine scent that is all him.
Without thinking, I suck in a breath, letting the scent of him fill my lungs. God, he’s so fucking hot. My emotions are going as haywire as my damn insides.
I meet his gaze, but I’m fully aware of his hand on his cock. He’s still stroking himself.
I tense as I hold his gaze defiantly. “You think I’m just going to tell you?” I say. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“I have ways to make you talk,” he says, using one hand to push up my dress. He looks down, and I feel his thumb brush over my bare mound, sending a shiver through my body.
“Oh, right, Matty got rid of those, didn’t he?” He smiles devilishly.
I know I could push him away, and part of me thinks I should. But there’s another part of me that wants to see how far I can push him.
I want to break him, just as badly as he wants to break me.
“You going to tell me to stop, princess?” he says, slipping his fingers through my sensitive folds. I try to keep quiet, try not to give him the satisfaction, but it’s hard.
“No,” I say, my defiance ringing true in the air.
“Tell me the truth,” he says, his breath hot on my skin as he slowly teases my clit with his thumb while pumping his finger inside me like…
Matthew.
I stiffen at the memory.