Chapter Three #2
“Well—mermaid princess—shall we continue our quest?” Amber giggles and slides off me to continue her game with my kid brother. I watch them—half present—the other half of me laying on the towels on the dirt next to Benjamin as he soaks up the sun.
After a few more hours of river time, more challenges and Benjamin becoming king of the mermaid kingdom believe it or not, we pack up and drive home. Within ten minutes Felix is knocked out, head against the window with Benjamin slumped against his shoulder, breathing steadily and sweetly.
“I asked Felix about it, by the way. Bear’s home life.” Amber says, looking at me as she rests her feet on the dash. No matter how many times I tell her that her legs will break if we crash, she doesn’t care.
“What did he say?” I sneak a look at the sleeping boy.
“Bear’s never directly told him anything—so he only knows what he’s been able to deduce over the years.
But something is definitely not okay. He said that when Benjamin first started coming over, he saw bruising on him.
But Benjamin said it was from kids at school, so Fe dropped it.
But then he would act skittish when it was time to go home, and it took him a while to revert back to normal when he came back over.
Apparently, he would stare at the floor or give short answers and isolate himself from whatever was happening around him.
To make matters worse—whenever he’d come back over—he’d wear jeans and long sleeves, even in the heat.
He’d refuse to change in front of Felix, sometimes even sleeping in his day clothes under the pretense that he was ‘shy’.
As he got older and started spending more time with your family, he seemed to get better.
Even joined the swim team in junior high.
But he refuses to let Fe meet his dad—and his mom is apparently gone.
We’re assuming dead—but he never clarified.
No one is allowed inside his house, and if his dad’s car is there, he refuses to go in.
Something’s seriously wrong, Aaron. I think that man was hitting Bear.
So does Felix. But Bear won’t talk about it.
He says everything gets too loud and he can’t handle it. So, Fe doesn’t force it.”
I stare between the road and the rearview mirror where Benjamin’s peaceful face is sleeping. He looks so innocent, pure and good. My skin crawls as I take in Amber’s words, a guilt I’ve never felt before overwhelming me. I knew something was weird and did nothing.
It is obvious to everyone around that something isn’t right—will we wait until it’s too late? This guilt is suffocating. I want to help. I need to fix it. Who else will save him if not me?
But he won’t speak—he won’t let us help him. It’s a stalemate.
“What can we do?” I ask, anger and fear lacing my voice.
“He spends most of his time with us, and he won’t even tell us himself what’s going on.
Do we call Child Protective Services? Do I roll up on the bastard?
” Amber rubs my bicep to comfort me, and my heartbeat starts to slow back down to a normal rate.
“I think we have to let him come to us on his own and be there in every other way we can.” I nod, gripping the steering wheel and focusing on driving. I wonder what it was that he needed—that he was too scared to face his father to get it.
◆◆◆
Later that night Amber is showering, the boys in Felix’s room and laughing over whatever video they’re watching.
I lean against my headboard, still thinking about what Amber told me, trying to recall if I ever saw a mark on Benjamin’s body.
I can’t. Amber comes out of the bathroom in her matching bra and panties—lacy and red—hair loose and wet as it sits around her waist.
“God, I needed that.” She moans. “I could feel the dirt where dirt should not be.” I laugh, about to offer her some sweatpants and a shirt, even though I’m sure I’ll be taking them off soon enough, when Felix’s door opens and Benjamin’s eyes widen as he enters.
Taking in the almost-naked, wet Amber—and then me—shirtless on my bed.
Oof. That probably doesn’t look super innocent.
Benjamin’s cheeks heat up and he takes a step back.
“Uh—sorry. I thought you guys were done.” Before I can speak, he shuts the door and in the silence that follows I don’t hear anything else from the other side of the door. Amber turns back around to me.
“He definitely thinks we were about to fuck. Which—to be fair—we will be later. But still. He looked very uncomfortable.” She’s trying not to laugh, but I can see that she’s a bit worried as well. I sigh.
“Get dressed—I’ll talk to him.” She hums and moves to dress herself in the clothes I laid out for her.
Closing the door to my room, I move through the bathroom and open Felix’s.
The room is empty aside from Benjamin who is ruffling through the top drawer of the dresser to my right.
His eyes snap up to mine, his face once again heating immediately.
“Uh, hey.” He says, swallowing audibly and turning his eyes back to the clothes.
“Hey, Button.” I approach, leaning against the dresser and looking down at him, watching his eyes slowly raise to meet mine, snagging briefly on my bare chest. Right—no shirt. Dumbass. He stares at me like a deer in headlights. “Listen—that wasn’t what you think it was.” He shakes his head quickly.
“I wasn’t thinking about anything, don’t worry about it.” He returns to what he was doing, pulling out one of Felix’s track-meet shirts and moving to the drawer under it for boxers.
“Benjamin. Look at me.” He stops moving, snapping his eyes to mine once again.
“Do you understand? She was just getting dressed.” He stares for a moment, his cheeks and neck flushing further.
He seems to be battling internally. Like he has a question that he doesn’t know if he should ask.
Eventually—one side wins over the other.
“So—” He gulps again, eyes shooting between me and the closed bathroom door.
His hands shake slightly. “You… aren’t sleeping together?
” I open my mouth to say no—we are not—when I realize that would be a lie.
We are sleeping together—we just weren’t about to right then.
I close my mouth. He looks away, grabbing whatever underwear is closest and shutting the drawer.
“Button—”
“No, no it’s really not a big deal. You have no reason to explain anything to me. You don’t owe me that. Plus, everyone loves Amber—she’s nice.” He walks toward the bed and grabs his phone off of it, as well as a pair of basketball shorts. He scratches at his wrist—stops—and starts again. Odd.
“Would you please wait a second and listen to me?” He shakes his head.
“You have nothing you can say to me that your silence already hasn’t, and it’s really not my business anyway.
” But he won’t look at me. His hand rests on the handle of Felix’s door, his back to me, face turned slightly so I can see his profile.
He almost looks disappointed. “They’re starting the movie.
I’ll just change downstairs. Have a good night, Aaron.
” The door closes gently behind him, and some part of me wishes he’d slammed it.
I stand here for way longer than I should—staring at the spot he was standing—trying to make sense of this gross feeling that’s swirling inside of me.
I keep seeing that disappointment in his eyes—the manic scratching at his wrist. Has he always done that?
Is it a nervous tic? I wish I could have lied to him.
Told him no, we aren’t having sex. But I can’t—not when he’s staring up at me with those big hazel eyes. I sigh and head back to my room.
When I open the door to the bathroom Amber is already standing there. She’s leaning against the sink, giving me a sympathetic smile. She pulls me into a hug, and I sigh and sag against her, resting my head on her shoulder.
“It’s okay. He’ll get over it. I’m sure he was just embarrassed.
” I nod against her—his expression as he turned away from me—his refusal to look at me—repeating in my mind.
“Should we? I mean—since they’re all downstairs for at least an hour.
” Her hand moves between us to cup me through my sweats.
Like the healthy seventeen-year-old boy I am—I thicken under her fingers.
She giggles and pulls me into my room, locking the door behind her.
I lay over her—running my hands over her soft skin—stripping her of her clothes.
Her blue eyes stare up at me, lustful and trusting.
They battle Benjamin’s look of betrayal for dominance in my mind.
Amber wins, and she whimpers when I sink into her, her arms tightening around me as I wrap an arm around her waist—the other used to prop myself up.
As I fuck into her with a slow, steady pace, I focus on sensation only. On the way she smells—the sound of her voice. The wet warmth inside of her that grips me. Her breasts rub against me, and I pull one into my mouth as she arches against me.
“God, Aaron. Yes.” Everything else leaves my mind and I lose myself to this moment—to her—to the pleasure.
◆◆◆
Benjamin makes it a point to avoid me for most of the next day—giving me déjà vu to a nasty degree.
It’s not much fun when you’re on the receiving end, that’s for sure.
Though a part of me is relieved—as I’m not sure how to look him in the eyes knowing I turned around and fucked Amber as soon as he walked out.
I walk into the kitchen to see Mom making pancakes like she normally does on Saturdays—Felix and Benjamin sitting at the table and talking amongst themselves.
“Morning, Little Bird.” She kisses my cheek and I lean my hip against the counter next to her—mumbling a greeting in response. I don’t look in the boys’ direction, but I try my best to pick up parts of their hushed conversation.
“I asked her—she said she’s down. I gave her your number.” Felix says to Benjamin.