Chapter Seventeen #3
Tracing the mark again, I softly say, “I’m the only one who’s ever touched you here.” When I look up to him again, he’s smiling. A gentle smile—like he’s amused or relieved. He runs a hand up my jaw, to the back of my neck, a little down my back.
“Yes.” I drop my head onto his knee.
“Ahh.” The heat of his body is sinking into mine, and I’m acutely aware that a cold shower will not be enough.
“You haven’t done anything wrong—not yet.
You should go to bed; call him in the morning and sort it all out.
” The night is quiet, and I don’t have to lift my head to see his disappointment.
“Okay.” As he moves to stand, I grab his thigh, holding him in place—making his breath hitch. Lifting my head, I set my weary eyes on his curious ones.
“Benjamin, I may not be able to teach you anymore lessons, but I can give you a command and hope you’re still the good boy I know you are.
” Benjamin nods, eyes wide; his thigh twitching in my hand.
“Do not let him touch this.” I trace the mark again.
“Even if he wants to—decides that he does want every inch of you—he can’t have it.
At least this—this is mine.” I half expect him to push me away, to call me crazy like he did when we first started screwing around.
But instead, he grins, nodding once more and standing to his feet.
“Don’t worry, Aaron. I may like causing trouble, but I’ll always be a good boy.” He grabs his clothes and slips back inside.
The night air is warm and dry. The Arizona heat hardly ever leaves us.
I lay on my back in the water, floating there as I stare at the stars.
I’m not quite sure what happened tonight, but I do know that Benjamin doesn’t hate me.
And he may think Drew is a good guy at heart, but I see him for what he is.
Benjamin is smart—he’ll see it eventually.
And I’ll be here for him when he figures it out.
Benjamin turns eighteen in two months. Then, there’s only one obstacle in the way. And maybe… maybe we could work that one out after all.
◆◆◆
The next morning Mom and Dad come home early, having given us the house for the night the same way they did last year.
Mom makes a big breakfast spread, and it’s much appreciated by us hungover folk.
Amber is crying about her head, and Mom is babying her—which is completely unfair and definitely favoritism.
Felix is lying on the floor of the den, letting Kayla rub his back. She came to the rescue early this morning, keeping any of us from having to take care of princess Felix and his tummy ache. Benjamin and I are sitting on the couch, heads tilted back, cold rags over our eyes.
“I blame you, Aaron. You’re the adult.” I scoff.
“When I can see again, I’m flicking you.”
“Flick me and die, motherfucker.” He’s laughing but trying not to—most likely because his head is pounding the same as mine. I probably shouldn’t have stayed up drinking after everyone else went to bed.
“Let’s gang up on him.” Felix suggests from his spot on the floor, voice muffled by the carpet.
“I agree—let’s.” Amber says, coming in and falling onto what sounds like the recliner.
“You siren, you’re the adult too.” She doesn’t respond, but I imagine she’s shrugging her shoulders and picking at her nails like she couldn’t care less.
“Ugh, Aaron. I need orange juice.” Benjamin groans. I can feel the heat coming off of his arm that rests centimeters away from mine.
“What am I—the OJ guy?”
“Yes.” He says quickly.
“Alright, Button. I’ll get your damn orange juice.” I pull the rag off of my eyes, letting them adjust to the light and waiting for my head to stop pounding from the movement.
“You’re a god. Thanks.” Funny, Benjamin. Real cute.
“Well, since I’m getting your juice, you should have to leave me an offering. It’s only fair.”
“Point me in the direction of the shrine—I’m on it.
” Benjamin laughs, giving a thumbs-up. Now that my eyes have fully adjusted, I head to the kitchen.
Only, standing in the doorway of the den—blocking my path—is Drew.
I pause, standing in front of the couch where Benjamin is sitting, and sigh, rubbing my forehead.
“I cannot deal with this right now—my head is killing me.” “Here, here.” Amber agrees.
“Oh, morning Drew.” Felix greets, moving to sit up next to Kayla.
Benjamin slowly pulls the rag off of his face. As his eyes adjust—since I’m standing directly in front of him—he looks at me first. Wide, anxious eyes. I’m assuming he hasn’t called Drew back yet. Awkward.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” I hear Drew mutter under his breath.
“Still want that OJ?” Benjamin glares at me.
“Well!” Mom walks in the den, effectively cutting off that trainwreck of a confrontation, and Drew goes to stand by the TV across the room from us. “Now that we’re all finally here, we have news.” Dad comes to stand behind her, smiling widely.
“Oh, I love news. You going on America’s Next Top Model, Cutie?” Amber asks Benjamin, shooting him a flirty smile. He grins back at her, rolling his eyes as his little dimples come out to play.
“Actually, these four have news.” Mom says, pointing to the new graduates.
“We wanted to wait till we all had one. Now, we all do. So we’re opening them today—together.” Still heavily confused, I stare at my baby brother, waiting for whatever grand surprise they’re building up to. What could I enjoy that involves Drew?
Felix and Kayla pull out envelopes with the University of Arizona logo on them and my heart drops. My eyes snap to Drew’s hands—and sure enough, fucker is holding one. That means…
I spin on my heel, aggravating my headache and completely ignoring the black spots I momentarily see. Benjamin is holding his envelope as well. He’s smiling up at me like he’s proud that he was able to actually keep this from me until now.
Looking between Felix and Benjamin, I say, “This is the best fucking day of my life.” Everyone laughs. Well—almost everyone.
“Me first.” Felix rips the envelope open—no intention of preserving the paper.
He reads a few lines before punching the air Breakfast Club style.
Then, “They’re not ready for two Archer boys.
” He says, pulling me into a hug. Kayla decides to do hers, and when she reads it, she’s accepted as well. Everything’s moving so fast.
“Aaron got his wish—he won’t have to babysit next year.” Felix rolls his eyes, and I chuckle, mock bowing to Kayla to show my respect. She turns to Drew. “Your turn, Drewy.”
Drew sighs, opening the seal and pulling out the letter. After a long, painful moment he looks directly at me and says,
“You won’t be able to get rid of me that easily—I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.
” Felix yells and fist-bumps him, completely missing the tension in the room.
Fucking asshole. Piece of shit. Why is he here again?
Oh, right. I turn around and look down at Benjamin.
He’s staring at his letter, hands shaking.
“Button?” Hazel eyes find mine. He’s panicking—doesn’t really look like an excited applicant. This scene looks familiar.
“This is my ticket out of here. If I fail, I can’t go with Felix. I’ll be in Lancaster alone. This one letter determines my entire future—my happiness. If I failed, I will never—”
“Benjamin,” I say, and as my heart sings so sweetly to him—the same way he did for me—I ask, “Would you like me to open it?” After a moment, he smiles and hands me the envelope.
Opening the letter for him is just as terrifying as I imagine opening my own would have been. No wonder he had been shaking. I don’t play with him the way he did me. As soon as I see the accepted message, I look down at him and say,
“We’re going to fuck up so much shit for the next three years.” A big, radiant sun smile spreads across his face as the room cheers. They all did it. They’re all coming to stay with me and Amber.
A bit later—as I watch Drew pull Benjamin out of the room—I feel a bit of hesitance, wondering if rather than the miracle we feel it is, this will end up with us worse off than we were before.