Chapter Nineteen #3
Placing a hand under his jaw, I tilt his head back on my shoulder—as far as it’ll go—and peer down at his chest. Then, I take the hand wrapped around him and softly brush his nipple. Benjamin hisses, just as he did when I first grabbed him. Fuck, fuck, fuck—holy fuck.
“Benjamin.” Voice stern—mostly so I don’t groan out the sound instead. His eyes stare into my face in perfect view. We could Spiderman-kiss from this position. “Are… did you pierce your nipple?”
Since I have his jaw grasped—using it as leverage to keep his head tilted back—he can’t speak. So instead, he blinks once, very slowly. It takes me a moment to realize that he’s trying to communicate with me, to search back through our moments together and put meaning to this action.
“Blink once if you’re good and just really worn out, blink twice if I should be worried right now.”
The day in my room when he was too fucked to move and I needed to know he was okay.
“Was that a yes?” He blinks again. Ah fuck, that makes this so much hotter. “Just one?”
It takes him a second to understand my question, but then he blinks two slow, dramatic blinks. “Ah, fuck, Button.”
My finger moves to the other side of his chest—careful not to touch him.
I’d bet money that if you looked at me right now, I’d look like I’m in extreme pain.
I watch as my fingertip just barely presses into his skin through his shirt, hearing the closed-mouth whine he’s trying to stifle, feeling it soak right into my body. Sure enough—another metal bar.
I have to see it. I have to see it. I won’t touch it. I won’t do anything at all. I just need to see. I mean, I’ll see him shirtless again soon anyway—right? Right!
I drop his chin and grab his hand, pulling him with me until I can find a bathroom. I drag him inside and lock the door. He’s completely flushed, arms at his sides, chest rising and falling rapidly as I stare him down. The bunny and his wolf. Just as it should be—like it always has been.
“We’ve been here before.” He breathes—taking a step back when I step forward. I smile, tilting my head. He makes a small, nervous noise. “In a bathroom at a party.” He clarifies.
“Ah, yes. I remember. You begged me to take you apart with my own two hands.” He gulps as I take another step—forcing him back once more.
“You said you’d make me cry.” I laugh once, taking another slow step.
“You love crying—don’t you, baby?” Benjamin’s breathing so hard I’m kind of nervous he’ll start hyperventilating.
“Yes, I do.”
“You look frightened.” But it just sounds like you look beautiful.
“What are you going to do to me?” You’d think he’s terrified, but the pure excitement in his voice gives him away. “I can’t. Not now.” My heart rate skyrockets.
“Not now?” His eyes widen—hands flying up in defense.
“Wait—I didn’t say that. Okay I did. But I didn’t mean it like that. Probably. Fuck—stop looking at me, Aaron.” He’s overwhelmed, and I have him backed up against the wall. I’m still halfway across the bathroom from him but I don’t advance. He might need a bit of space.
“Lift your shirt, Button.” Benjamin’s eyes widen and it looks like he’s about to freak out again. “I won’t touch. Now.”
He tucks most of his tank top into his mouth, giving me a view of his nipples for the first time in way too long. The bars are gold—as I imagined they’d be—keeping his nipples plump for me to bite or suck or lick at. I could rub my dick along them or twist them around.
His sculpted chest—his slim waist—they look so pretty paired together.
“Ah, fuck.” I mutter, trying to ignore how hard I am. “Did you do them at the same time as your nose?” I ask him, and he blinks once. God—he drives me crazy.
Standing there—back against the wall with his shirt in his mouth—the jewelry in his nipples, ears, and nose reflect the light of the bathroom and he’s fucking sparkling for me. Like a kitten with a collar.
“Button—that necklace. It’s a collar to you?
” He blinks once more. I have to take a deep breath and prepare myself for the answer to my next question.
“You think you’re my little kitten?” His eyes look panicked, trying to pick between lying or not.
But he doesn’t lie—not to me. He blinks once.
“I gave you a charm and you found another way to mark yourself as mine. To give me more power over you.” My voice is strained.
He looks guilty—like he’s done something shameful, like he’s embarrassed and ready for reprimanding.
He blinks once again.
I wonder if he can see the desperation building inside of me, the pent-up lust and affection I’ve been carrying for far too long.
“I want to tell you every obscene fucking thing I want to do to you right now. I really, really want to. And then I want to do them and watch you cry.” He’s whining into the fabric of his shirt, brows furrowed, his hand that’s placed on the wall is twitching. “But I won’t—don’t worry, Button.”
He has the gall to look disappointed—the little prick.
I turn the cold water on in the sink and splash my face, trying to break whatever spell I’m under.
I can hear Benjamin’s breath, panting heavily, telling me he dropped the shirt.
When I dry my face, I turn and see him standing a couple of feet away, staring at me.
“I’ll have Amber take you back to your dorm. I’ll stay on campus until she tells me you’re home safe.” His face falls, and I can see the slight irritation there—as if I was supposed to stay and play babysitter after running a finger over his pierced fucking nipples.
He turns away from me and goes to sit on the edge of the tub. Once he’s sat and looking my way again, I follow up.
“I hope you understand that I’m running from you.
The longer I’m here the less likely my reputation of being a good guy is gonna stay standing.
” Benjamin looks a little confused—so I clarify.
“I’ll fuck you, Button. Hard. And your boyfriend won’t be happy and you’ll hate me in the morning.
So I gotta get out of here. I know you understand—you’ve always been my good boy, isn’t that right? ”
Benjamin gives me a big nod—his eyes wide and heated, lips parted, hand placed over his dick as if he can hide his erection from me. Trembling like a teenage virgin, I get my ass out of there.
After Amber promises to go in and get Benjamin to take him home, I walk to the main square of campus so I’m close by, but won’t see him or be seen.
God, Benjamin. He’s killing me slowly—so slowly. Sucking my soul out of my eyes little by little with every glance, every smile, every word. Is my heart not enough? He needs all of me.
He was so cute in that bathroom.
Eyes wide and terrified—the most delicious prey.
I wanted to rip his pants off and shove my tongue in his ass.
Devour him from the inside out. I wanted to be on my knees—gripping his thighs as he shoved his ass back on my face like I know he would.
Those pitiful little whines and whimpers.
The begging and the crying. Nothing in my world has ever brought as much life to my body as Benjamin has.
And I think it’ll drive me insane.
I’m trying not to get hard in public when I see a dark figure out of the corner of my eye. Drew—walking down the sidewalk.
He spots me, and just when I think he’ll test me at the worst time, he ducks his head and heads to his dorm. Hm, weird.
◆◆◆
The next day—once our classes are all out—I meet up with Felix, Benjamin, Kayla, Darian, and unfortunately, Drew.
We make our way across campus—the sun setting behind the brick clock tower that does in fact work.
The chime is pretty medieval. We’re headed in the direction of a popular coffee shop the freshmen haven’t been to yet.
Everyone’s chatting and laughing away—Darian, Felix, Kayla, and I walking in a line as the other two follow. We stop briefly at the fine arts center so Kayla can run in and grab something off of a bulletin board for Amber.
I’m sitting on a low brick wall with everyone aside from Benjamin, who is standing in front of Felix, listening to his rant about a show he’s watching.
“And then he turns into a demon, right? Which is what they fight so it’s a big deal. Now they should kill him—you following? Okay, good. So—”
“Hey, pretty. Do you have a phone number? Or a dorm room?” Benjamin spins around and is face-to-face with a guy I don’t recognize. He’s good-looking: blonde hair, green eyes, and a pleasant face. He looks wasted.
“No, sorry.” Benjamin crushes the guy’s dreams and turns back around.
“Aw that’s too bad. I would do some very interesting things to you, baby.” Drew hops up then—putting a hand between that guy and Benjamin’s back.
“Fuck off, man. Leave my boyfriend alone. You ain’t doing shit to him.” The drunk hot guy laughs.
“No? I could right now.” His dirty hand wraps around Benjamin’s ass and squeezes once.
Benjamin spins around, and he looks fucking terrified.
My blood is boiling—I feel ready to rip off my own skin and strangle this douche with it.
To pull out a gun and commit a crime. To shove a steel pole up his ass.
Okay, Drew—today we ride together. Your move first, buddy.
I hear Drew yelling at the guy to leave, his arm still in front of the guy’s chest, telling him to leave and threatening campus police.
What the fuck?
Unfortunately, Drew is still a useless fuck. The pervert is still staring down at Benjamin like he’s the last piece of pizza in the frat house. I can see Benjamin’s hands shaking. This guy clearly isn’t leaving of his own volition—he looks hungry and ready to lunge.
Your boyfriend is a victim of abuse, dumbass, what the fuck are you doing?
Okay—my turn.
I stand and Benjamin’s eyes fly to me and never leave.
The guy is so focused on his target and pissing off Drew that he doesn’t even register me walking up.
I kiss a knuckle on my middle finger—pull back and swing.
I hit him in the head but avoid the temple.
I don’t actually want to go to prison. The drunk crumbles to the ground in a heap of bones.
And for all of his trauma and his PTSD, Benjamin didn’t so much as flinch when my fist raised, nor when it connected with skin.
My knuckle splits—I guess the kissing superstition doesn’t work. Benjamin is still staring at me. All the while, my eyes are locked onto Drew.
“What the fuck, asshole?” Drew yells, now standing directly in front of me. “Why did you do that? I was taking care of it!” I hear my back crack as I roll my shoulders, and Benjamin takes a tiny step back. Smart boy.
“Some pervert was assaulting Benjamin, and you were asking him to leave?” I’m so fucking pissed. Drew’s not getting away unscathed this time. This time he fucked it—fucked it right up. I feel Felix stand up behind me.
“Uh—” Benjamin starts to speak.
“I was telling him to leave. Is it your business, Aaron? Mister Top 3? I really don’t think it is. Why don’t you just keep fucking your way through the UA student body and leave my boyfriend alone.”
The whole world around me goes quiet. All I can see is his stupid, pinched face.
Yeah? Not my business? Then I’ll make it my business, you piece of fucking shit.
Standing there all high and mighty—bossing everyone around and acting holier-than-thou all because Benjamin hurt your feelings once. Fuck this.
I bring my fist to my lips, taste the blood as I kiss it. My rage quiets the world around me. He has the decency to look scared. Good.
I raise my fist—pulling back, watching him flinch away.
“Aaron!” Benjamin’s voice is quick, high-pitched as it penetrates the barrier of rage I had created.
When did he start crying? I pause, fist still in the air.
Out of the corner of my eye—never taking my sight fully off of Drew—I peek at him.
“Please don’t hurt him.” The anguish in his voice breaks me.
Slowly, I lower my fist and turn to him. Anyone would think he’s physically torturing me, tearing me apart. That look on his face. The look that’s apologizing to me, begging me to understand. Eyes that make it look like he’s in love with me.
I look at the button on his chest—then back into his eyes. I’m so miserable, so pitiful at this moment. Pleading, my eyes yelling, why? Why him? Please, Button. Please—anyone but him.
“Then you need to leave. Now.”
He grabs Drew’s hand and runs. I watch him disappear and think to myself how cruel the eyes can be—those windows to the soul.
How easily they lie.