Chapter Twenty Three
Benjamin
That’s why we must all be familiar with the relationships of variables!” Professor Rogers preaches. He’s a stubby little guy with an annoyingly high-pitched voice, but he’s nice.
Alex, Felix, and I sit toward the back of the lecture hall—half paying attention and half texting the friend group-chat affectionately called “Cult Cuties”.
Amber thought she was hilarious for that one—and Josh, who never misses a chance to bring up my face, agreed that they are my cult indeed. It has yet to change.
Angie
brews? @ 3
Darian
thumbs-up emote
Top 3
sure. @fe @button ?
“Guy can’t wait two seconds.” Felix mutters. I’m assuming
he’s asking Kayla.
Josh
wow ok left me out. but yes
Fe
me and kay are down
Bear
skipping 3rd lec, im good too
Josh
naughty boy
Fe
let me spank you daddy
Bear
come get me then
Top 3
you’re both grounded
Fe
:(
Bear
aw :(
Amber
to be fair, we do have a no sexting rule for the gc lmao. Im down
Josh
but bear doesn’t have to listen to rules, he’s hot
Bear
^^
Top 3
just you wait
Bear
way to go u barbarian now im def getting grounded
I put my phone away as the lecture ends and everyone stands.
Felix grabs our bags—Alex following in tow. Ever since Felix started dating Kayla, he’s started opening my doors and carrying my things when she isn’t around—almost like a reflex. I really do love that woman.
“You’re not coming?” I ask Alex. He shrugs.
“I’m gonna hit my dorm and if my roommate is home I promised to play a game with him. If not—I’ll come out.”
“What game?” Felix perks up.
I tune out their conversation—following them back to our dorm to change before we head to Brews.
My mind will drift back to Aaron anyway.
Two days ago he fucked the shit out of me.
He spent the night taking the brunt of a psychotic breakdown and then drove me away from the problem just to fuck the sad right out of me.
He begged me twice to let him be there for me—to help when things get bad. So fuck it, I caved. He can be my last ray of hope, my last thread to cling to. If he wants that responsibility, then okay Aaron—be my God.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Saturday. The things he said—the way he touched me. The way it felt when he came in me.
Ah fuck—his face when he came. I’ve never seen something so obscenely beautiful. It sent me straight into my second orgasm. Listening to him beg me to stop grinding on him was also very hot. I love dominating Aaron—but whimpering Aaron isn’t too bad either.
What really surprised me was that after we finished Aaron carried me to the jacuzzi tub and we bathed together.
It wasn’t necessarily revolutionary—but we…
hung out. Just the two of us. We talked about class, our friends, new things about ourselves the other doesn’t know.
It was really nice to be able to feel close to him for a while.
We went home after that, and I hung out with Felix who—for some reason—had no issues with me disappearing with his brother.
We drop Alex off at his room and head to ours.
“I’m totally changing.” Fe says, opening his wardrobe.
“Heard.” I follow him to mine. “Fe, you’re not mad about Friday night?”
“Hm?” He looks at me over the Voltron shirt he’s in the middle of shoving his black curls through. “Why?”
“Well—I went and made a dramatic entrance and then Aaron kicked you out… I just don’t want you to be mad at me. Or him.” Felix purses his lips—narrowing his green eyes on me. I’m fidgeting and I think he might actually be upset with me.
“I was listening to that fight with Drew where you told him Aaron helped you after the market—you know that right?” I mean—yes, but the relevance is not really registering.
“Yes?”
“Yeah—so I already know you’ve fucked around with Aaron.” Fuck. How did that not occur to me? I’m a fucking idiot.
I choke on my own fucking spit. Does Aaron know he knows? How much does he know? Is he pissed?
“I love you both. And honestly—having you as a brother-in-law is no different than now, when I consider you a brother.” My heart warms at the sentiment—but Fe is missing one crucial detail.
“As sick as that’d be, Aaron has no intention of being with me. He’s made that clear for almost two years now.” Felix stares at me and says nothing. “Anyway—I just wanted to make sure we were okay before anything else.”
“It’s not my favorite thing that I’m not the first person you turn to anymore, that I’m the one told to leave the room.
” I can feel my eyes watering. He’s right—it’s fucked.
We’ve basically lived inside each other’s skin without a single fight for nine years.
“But growth happens. And I know I’m still your best friend—priority numero uno. ”
“I do love you.” Fe leans over and kisses my cheek before flicking my head. “Ow.”
“And this—” he lays a finger over the button dangling over my chest. “Wasn’t exactly screaming subtle. Just sayin.” This bitch! I didn’t even pick it out!
“Hey—he bought it!”
“And you made a necklace out of it and wear it every day.” I flush red, placing a hand over the button to hide it. “Plus, Aaron doesn’t really care about subtle. He’s known that I know.”
“What!? I’m the odd man out here.” Felix rolls his eyes, closing his wardrobe and grabbing his bag.
“You literally said Aaron owns you and devours you and a bunch of other gross things you don’t want to hear about your brother.”
“I get it! Stop talking!”
“I figured you just didn’t want to talk.” I grab a pink, cropped, short-sleeved hoodie that stops above my belly button and a pair of black running shorts that cover half of the scar Aaron gave me. Pulling on my sneakers, I grab my bag and head for the door with Felix.
“I didn’t want to talk, so you were half right. But yeah—I didn’t consider what you heard. I thought we were super secretive about it.”
Felix fixes some of my golden strands that are trying to stick up as we walk.
“Nah. Did you fuck him on Friday?” I smack him in the stomach.
“Felix Archer!”
“Oof—What!? I’m your bestie—I should get to know. Don’t give details or I’ll throw up, but I want to know if you guys finally went all the way.”
God—this is so embarrassing. If it wasn’t Aaron that we’re talking about I’d subject Fe to every gory detail of Saturday. But it is Aaron—and it’s fucking weird.
“Jesus. Yes, on Saturday. Happy?”
“Yes, actually.” This is definitely better than being pissed off or barring me from seeing Aaron anymore. I really do have an amazing best friend. “Damn—we’re late.” It’s 3:23.
“We’re here, so who cares?” I grin at him and he shoves me into the coffee shop—which just makes me laugh at him. “You’re so moody today, my dear.”
“You’re not putting out enough.” The fuck? A few customers look our way—confused and alarmed.
“Well, maybe if your boobs were bigger, I’d get hard.”
“What the fuck am I listening to?” Turning around and looking up, up, up—I find Josh the Barbarian who is also late. “Hi Fe, hi Cutie.” I roll my eyes.
“Hey Josh—you’re late?” He grins at us, tying his black hair up with a black band as we walk to a big table in the back already full of our friends.
“As are you.”
“It was his fault.” Fe and I say at the same time. I pinch his side.
“Damnit Bear! I’m so touching you tonight and you’re not going to like it.”
“I’d like to see that—personally.” Josh offers, giving us a cheeky smile.
“Down boy.” Amber tells him, turning to us. “Hey lovebirds. You’re late.” Felix and I both point at each other. I turn to talk more shit but can’t even get a word out.
“Button.” Mouth shut—my eyes snap to where Aaron is diagonal from us across the table. He makes a come-here motion, and I walk away from Felix to round the table.
“Ohhh—you’re in trouble.” Felix laughs and unfortunately so do several members of our party.
“I’m gonna—”
“Wanna sit next to me?” Aaron interrupts me again now that I’m standing next to his chair. I look between him and his brother who I was just conversing with—mouth hanging open. Felix looks like he’s about to keel over from holding in his laughter.
“Alright guys—place bets. Will our feisty Bear go for the kill or allow himself to be domesticated and take a seat?” Angie asks the table. “Okay so that’s two for domestication. Roger that.”
“Okay—who the fuck voted for that?” Josh and Darian raise their hands. “I bet I could still kick both of your sorry asses.”
“Benjamin.” I look down at Aaron who’s still grinning up at me. “Sit.” Darian and Josh snicker.
“Fuck—you guys are the worst.” I walk around Aaron and sit in the chair. The table cheers as I lay my forehead on the ledge to hide how fucking red my face is. Aaron wraps his ankle around mine.
“Hey, wait—where’s Drew?” Angie asks. “Don’t you guys normally have this time together?” My head shoots up from the table to look at her.
“Yeah, where is Mr. Nobody Look at My Boyfriend?” I’ll have to tell them eventually—might as well get it done now. Get all the pain and embarrassment out of the way in a short period of time. He is a part of the group after all.
“He dumped me.” I say, calmly. Neutrally. Every head snaps to me.
“What the fuck? Is he stupid?!” Josh is laughing.
“Wow—what a fumble. Don’t you get hit on at least once a day?” Kayla asks, leaning on the table for more of the gossip.
“Well, you know what they say—a guy who gets a ten gets cocky thinking they’re the shit. Then they lose ’em and find out they were—in fact—not the shit.” Laughter goes around the table and Fe shoots me a smile.
“Wait! Bear—that means you’re single.” Josh says with a grin so wide I think he might try to jump over here and swallow me.
“Guess so.” I answer.
“Go on a—” he stops speaking very abruptly, smile dimming slightly.
“A what?” It looks like he’s dissociating—staring at the wall next to me.
“Uh… self-discovery journey! Don’t go jumping into another relationship.” He leans back in his chair, still staring at the same spot.