Chapter Thirty #2
“So, you didn’t then? You never saw it in my eyes? You didn’t see it when I was devastated I gave my virginity to someone else—or when I needed you and no one else every single time I was scared? No? Okay—how about when I was on my knees and I devoted my life to you?”
I don’t know what I’m supposed to say now. Then why? I don’t understand. Does he love me? Is he saying he used to? I stare down at my palms—watching the tears fall onto them.
“Aaron—” Benjamin gets on his knees in front of me, grabbing my face.
I physically recoil, but he pulls me back to him.
“I’m willing to do this dance with you again if you’d like.
I can walk away from here and in a year, we’ll see each other again and start all over.
I’ll do that for the rest of my life if that’s the only way I get to keep you. ”
I’m staring at him. He’s so close to me—I can smell the citrus. I can see the glint of his nose ring and the occasional appearance of the ball on his tongue when he speaks. The green flecks in his eyes are so bright tonight.
“No one else will ever touch me again.” Fuck. “I was ready to die with your hands being the last to hold me.” I snatch him off the floor and bring him onto my lap—breathing him in, shoving my face into his neck.
“Button—I don’t really understand.” He runs his hands up my back, into my hair and I’m shivering.
“I’ll explain it all to you, I promise. But for now… Aaron—” He pulls back to look me in the eyes. “I really want you to touch me.”
I have him under me a moment later. My bed creaks at the sudden movement and Benjamin yelps.
Ignoring my briefly blurry vision, I pull his long sleeve off and throw it on the floor.
He looks just as delicious as I remember.
My mouth is all over him—biting on the bars in his nipples, sucking his skin onto my tongue—licking as much of him as I can.
He’s groaning beneath me—hands in my hair, and he sounds so good.
“This isn’t a dream?” Benjamin laughs. “If I wake up from this, I’ll be admitted next.”
He grabs my face and brings my mouth to his. His tongue on mine, his piercing dancing along with it. His voice going down my throat—it all feels like home. I’m ripping the rest of his clothes off as he’s getting me out of my shirt. I reach for him again, but he stops me.
“What the fuck?” Looking behind me—I see nothing.
“What? What’s wrong—are you okay?” His eyes are so wide, filling with tears.
“I…. blue bird.” His fingers touch my side and shit. I never thought I’d see him again—never thought I’d have to explain. “Why?” I feel more vulnerable now than when I’m buried inside of him.
“Well—” I swallow harshly, avoiding his gaze as I sit back on my heels. “I wanted a piece of you. Of us. I thought I’d never see you again and I… I needed to do something.”
Benjamin sits up and I wonder if he thinks it’s weird—taking the name he gave me and engraving it into my skin.
“I love you.” Is what he says—and before I can respond—or cry, or come—he pushes me over. I fall onto my back, watching as he crawls over me to stare down at my tattoo.
He traces his fingertips over it—the blue wings flared out to fly, the white belly, the expanse in which it covers—the scars he bit into my flesh.
His eyes are wide with awe and from where he’s sitting on my thigh, I can feel him getting harder and harder the longer he stares.
“My little blue bird.” Leaning down, he traces his tongue over the entire tattoo. Slowly—like he intends on torturing me. “I love you so much I could die. So much that now I want to live.” He says against my skin—against the bird where he flies.
“I love you so much I could die. So much that now I want to live.”
I can feel myself crying—the tears falling, but I’m grinning up at the ceiling.
The feeling of his tongue, the metal ball, the sound of his confession in my ears.
When I look down at him worshipping that tattoo like it saved him—revived him—I am undone.
All of me is given to him. I will never be my own person again—I will never be anyone else’s.
“Benjamin—” I lean up, cutting him off mid-suck. He frowns at me, sitting up to meet me in the middle. “As much as I own every inch of you—you have me as well.” I watch Benjamin’s eyes widen—feel his dick pulse against my leg.
“Yeah?” It’s a squeak.
“I want to fuck you. I want to marry you. I wish I could get you pregnant—make you have my kids.” He moans, crawling up into my lap.
“God, Aaron.” I’m grabbing his hips, rubbing him against me where I’m still confined in my shorts.
“Yeah, baby? Am I still?” He’s whining—gripping my hair, panting.
“Yes. I’ll die bowing to you, praying to you.” Aw, shit. He always knows just what to say, just how to get to me. I lean forward and lay him down, standing to take my shorts and briefs off. Once my dick’s out Benjamin’s staring at it. He lets out a tiny whimper and looks up to my eyes.
“You have such a filthy expression right now. You’re always looking at me like you want me to rip you apart.” I’m fisting my cock—staring down at him, watching him now watching me.
“I do.” He whispers. “I really, really do.”
“Flip.” He does. I grab hips, bringing his ass to me when I sit on the bed. “I spent so many months, Button—so many miserable months desperate to taste you. To feel you. To see you.” I spread him open—lick a flat strip over his hole.
“Aaron, ahh.” Benjamin’s thighs tense, his knees resting on top of a pillow I placed here to prop him up better. I keep licking him—going at it like I’ll only ever have the next ten seconds with him. “Fuck!”
“I was tortured by the sound of you.” I bite into the meat of his ass, causing him to groan. “I would hear your voice—your moans, your little whimpers on repeat every fucking day. You wouldn’t leave me.” He’s pushing his ass back onto me—looking for me.
I reach over to the bedside table where I put the lube after our last time and pop it open. Benjamin shivers at the sound, gasping when I pour some onto his hole.
“Touch yourself while I finger you, kitten.” His hand shoots up off the bed to grab his dick—ripping a moan from his throat.
I take that moment to start sinking my middle finger into him.
“Fuck—you’re so tight. So warm. You feel so good already.
You're going to have me coming so fast.” Benjamin’s whining again.
“Oh, God—I’m so in love with you.” My cock is pulsing, pressed between the two of us and leaking onto our skin. After he starts pushing back onto my finger, I add another. He gasps. “You’re amazing, Aaron. So amazing.”
“Mhm—you’re stretching so well. Good job, baby.” My heart feels hot and full.
“More, more—please.” I add a third finger, pulling him back by the hip when he jolts forward. “Hnghh.” I rub his back—kiss his dimples, lick into them—suck on them as he groans and twitches under my thrusting fingers. In and out—curling for him until I find it. And I do. “Aaron!”
His hand flies off of his dick—most likely to keep from coming, and he’s starting to cry out—rocking back onto me harder and harder. I’m staring at the bite mark harshly carved into the back of his neck—reaching my hand out to grab him there, holding him down.
“Does that feel good? You look so delicious, Benjamin.”
“Ahh—ahh, Aaron, God—please. Fuck me.”
I pull out my fingers and flip him onto his back. He’s a mess—covered in tears and his own spit, panting and staring up at me like he’s about to die. I lean over him and lick over his lips, up his cheek. He’s whining, pleading with me. I lean back and slick myself up.
“Every time I fuck you from now on—whether it’s nice and slow, or like an animal in heat—know I’m so fucking in love with you the entire time I’m doing it, and I always have been.
” I start to sink into him, holding his hips, his thighs over mine.
Benjamin’s screaming—hands shoved into his hair as he watches our hips where I’m tearing him open.
“Ugh—God—you’re huge. I’m dying—I’m dying.” He’s telling me, moving his gaze up to meet mine. “Please don’t stop.” A hot strike of lust shoots through me as I stare back at him—looking into those lust-blown hazel eyes.
“I would die if you asked me to.” Right then—I bottom out, and Benjamin comes.
His eyes roll back as he moans—shooting come all over his stomach and chest, head falling back onto the bed.
I’m pulling out and pushing back in so slowly and he’s screaming louder, shaking and spazzing and clenching beneath me. “You with me?”
“Yes—go, go, please.” He’s losing it, hands wandering all over the place.
He doesn’t know what to touch. His nipples—his hair, his face, his stomach.
His dick is soft—his come still all over him.
As I’m slowly thrusting into him—letting him adjust—I lean down and start lapping at his arousal, taking it from him the way I will take everything else he gives me. “Ahhhhh.”
I lick him clean and when I’m done, I put a bar in my mouth, twisting it slightly with my tongue. This is a fan favorite for Benjamin, I’m learning. His hips buck against mine, burying me deeper in him, pulling a groan from both of us.
“Baby—” I’m talking into his skin, hands still on his hips.
“You take me so well. I told you—destined. Set in motion the moment I saw you.” I slam him down onto me, thrusting up into him.
Benjamin’s back arches off the bed—his breath caught in his chest as he tries to speak—tries to cry.
“I watched you grow up right next to me—watched as our bodies grew in sync to fit together this perfectly.”
“You’re there—it’s right there, Aaron.” Benjamin looks down his body at me, his hands covering mine over his hips. “Please.” It’s such a soft, gentle plea.