Chapter Forty Four
Aaron
Itake a deep breath and wipe my palms onto my jeans.
I’m not too sure why I’m so nervous—it’s not like Benjamin’s inside waiting for me.
But I feel like I’m going to puke anyway.
One more deep breath and I open the front door of Felix’s apartment—finding him, Kayla, and Amber in the living room.
Kayla is sitting on the couch with Amber while Felix sits against it on the floor, allowing Kayla to ruffle his hair.
“You did not make me come here only to be late.” Amber glares and I blow her a little kiss.
“Sorry, babe—I had a bit of a hard time getting away from Benjamin without suspicion.” Felix furrows his brow and looks at the others.
“Wait—he’s not with you? I thought this was an emergency family meeting?” I once again take a deep breath.
“It is. It’s about him.” Felix’s eyes narrow on me—sitting up straight.
“Aaron—I swear to God. This better be good news.” Rolling my eyes, I pin him with my own glare. How dare he insinuate I would ever be anything other than head over heels for my boyfriend?
I pull out the small black box and Amber jumps to her feet at the same time Kayla screams.
“REALLY?!” Felix is asking, eyes so wide he’ll pop them right out of his head.
“Yes—really. I’m going to propose.”
“Oh, my fucking God. I totally called this way back in the day.” Amber says—eyes watering as she smiles at me from across the room.
“I guess my bouquet really worked!” Kayla’s jumping in place on her cushion.
“Listen—” I say, calming them and gathering their attention. “I want to do it next weekend. I have an idea. Will you guys help me?”
“Yes!” They all yell at once. I grin.
“Great—here’s the plan.”
The plan is very simple. Amber will call Benjamin tomorrow and sweet-talk him into helping her buy a new wardrobe next Saturday—at my expense unbeknownst to him.
While he’s out for the day I’ll sneak away to this spot that I found by the lake.
It’s secluded and under a big, beautiful tree.
There’s greenery all around, so aside from the small path you take to reach it or from all the way across the lake—there’s no way to see inside.
I’ll lay out flower petals everywhere—a few of those pretty antique lanterns with candles flickering inside spread out along the grass.
Once it’s time, Amber will drop him off and leave.
Fe and Kayla will help hide the decorations until the day arrives—and help me set up. And when he gets there, it’ll be right as the sun starts to set—which is beautiful and symbolic—as that’s the time of day it was when I followed him into death.
His ring is beautiful. A gorgeous 14-karat gold band with a woodland theme—making it look as if the band is branches lined with leaves holding baby diamonds.
In the center is a 2-carat marquise-cut diamond.
It’s so perfectly Benjamin. A little magical with the woodland vibe—elegant, eye-catching.
The identical band that lacks the marquise diamond completes the set and is what I’ll add to it at the altar. That is still at the jeweler.
If I still know his taste as well as I did with his bracelet—then this will blow his mind.
“Jesus—that’s a nice ring.” Amber says, leaning over my shoulder where I sit at Felix’s dining-room table.
“Mhm.” Felix agrees from his seat next to me.
“I might have made a few large purchases recently.” I admit—looking between the two of them. “Let’s just say I’m a real adult now.”
“A few?!” Kayla asks, leaning her elbows on Fe’s shoulders.
I just grin—letting them chew on that for the foreseeable future.
◆◆◆
The next day Benjamin is laying on top of me—hands up my shirt, head resting on my chest as he watches TV. His phone on the coffee table in front of us begins to ring.
“Ugh.” He whines—but answers anyway—not bothering to check the caller ID.
“Hello?” He’s staring down at me from where he’s now perched up.
“Oh—hey Amber.” I raise a brow at him and he shrugs.
“Next Saturday?” He stares at the wall as he thinks for a moment.
“I’ll ask Aaron if I can and text you.” Something hot burns in my chest and my arms tighten around him.
I’ll ask Aaron if I can…
Benjamin puts his phone back on the table and turns to me—not at all hung up on his own words.
“Amber wants me to help her shop next Saturday. Is that okay?” He asks me and I grin up at him.
“Do you want to go?” I really fucking hope he does.
“Umm—” he thinks for a moment. “What will you be doing without me?” Answering my question with a question.
“Probably jacking off to the thought of you.” Benjamin flicks my forehead.
“Then nope. I’ll stay right here and watch.” I laugh, sitting up and wrapping my arms tightly around him as he sits on my lap.
“You should go. It’s been a while since the two of you hung out one-on-one. I’ll just go to the gym and then read.” I’m praying he doesn’t see I’m lying. He knows me too well.
Benjamin watches my face for a moment before he shrugs.
“Okay—if you think so then I’ll go.”
“Aww—” I bury my face in his neck. “You’re so cute.” Benjamin giggles, putting his hands in my hair.
“You’ve literally domesticated me—trained me to be this way.”
“That makes it even better.” I say—leaning back up to kiss him—running my tongue along the ball on his tongue before pulling away, staring at those little dimples. “That means you’ve never been so cute to anyone else.” Rolling his eyes, Benjamin grinds down on me, and I can feel myself hardening.
“If I’m so cute you should touch me about it.” He gives me his evil little grin as I stand—keeping him wrapped around me.
“Insatiable little demon.”
◆◆◆
I’m wearing what I think is proper proposing attire.
Black slacks—blush-blue button-up tucked into a leather belt with a gold buckle.
Black leather loafers. My curls are the same as they always are—but since they’re that curl pattern between super curly and wavy—there’s really not much you can do with them.
Too long to gel down neatly, too short to pull up into a bun.
Oh well. My watch tells me they’ll be here any minute now and the ring is burning a hole through my back pocket the longer I wait.
The lanterns are flickering beautifully—everything is perfect.
Felix and Kayla have already left and I’m starting to feel antsy when I hear a car pull up—a door open.
His voice is quiet from this distance, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.
“Where the fuck are we?” Benjamin asks and I can’t hear Amber from the driver’s seat.
“What?! A trail—by myself? Are you pranking me? Aaron’s gonna kick your ass if you leave me here, missy.
” I try not to laugh at his threat—all things considered.
“You jerk!” I hear the car pull away and Benjamin’s footsteps as he gets closer.
I see him before he notices me. I was gone to the gym before he was up this morning, so it’s my first time seeing him dressed for the day.
He’s wearing one of his pairs of high-waisted dress pants with a regular—clean-pressed shirt tucked into them.
The pants are a coffee brown—the shirt a bright white.
His shoes are some kind of brown boot that I am unfamiliar with, and his button sits proudly on his chest—bracelet on his wrist. Benjamin’s golden hair sits like the halo it has always resembled—bright in the setting sun as it grazes the tops of his ears and onto his forehead.
Finally—those hazel eyes find mine.
“Aaron?” He’s confused—walking now with no hesitance. “What’s going…. on?” He’s looking around me—at my attire—at the lake. Then his eyes find mine again and he halts a few feet out of reach.
“Button.” I call out to him and his eyes grow wide. He can hear it in my voice.
“Are you… why… Aaron?” It’s like his brain can’t wrap itself around my actions—my voice. “This isn’t… Is it?” He sounds scared.
“Button—” I try again. “I want to boss you around for the rest of my life.”
“Oh, God.” His eyes are watering and he takes one small step toward me.
“I’ve watched you since we were children.
Before we knew anything about the world.
We were always together in one way or another.
Even if some of that time I had to stand back and let you roam free—you were always mine and we both knew it.
One of us cannot exist without the other.
We will always come back to each other. No matter what.
” Benjamin is crying now—furiously wiping at his tears so he can see me clearly—clearing his throat.
I continue.
“I want to tie you to me. I’ve sunk my teeth down to your bones—I’ve come so deep inside of you I cried—I became the one person who you could trust no matter what, no matter where, no matter when.
Baby—it’s not enough.” His eyes widen further, taking another step toward me.
I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to.
“I have to have you in every way. I have to claim you in every sense. Even then I don’t think it’ll be enough—I still won’t be satisfied.
I won’t be close enough—I won’t have you as completely as I crave to. This need is insatiable. But—”
I take a deep breath—pull the box out and kneel onto one knee. Benjamin chokes, putting a hand over his mouth.
“Aaron.”
“If you’d let me, if you’d continue to believe in me—to keep me as your god—I think marrying you would help tame that need just a little bit more.” I open the box and he gasps, walking straight up to it, staring down.
He turns his attention to me, dropping his hand.
“You’re… You’re sure?” After everything I’ve said he still doubts his own worth.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” Benjamin falls to his knees—grabbing my face in his hands. As he kisses me, I feel his tears, I swallow each sob. Pulling him against me I let him lick into me—taste me—explore me once again.
“Aaron—” He gasps, pulling away to look at my face. “Yes, yes I will marry you.”